Hyewon was in her room, doing her usual studying - occupying her mind; to forget. She was too busy reading her notes that she had already missed the first call. Finally, hearing the sound of her ringtone, she picked up the phone. 

[“You called?”] 

[“And you finally answered”] Doyeon said sarcastically, Hyewon mumbling a soft apology 

Doyeon wasn’t one to kick around the bush. She went straight to the point. So it didn’t surprise Hyewon with what she asked without exchanging much greetings 

[“Did you know Eunbi went to visit grandma yesterday?”]  

Hyewon’s eyebrows furrowed, checking her calendar. It was a Wednesday, not the usual day they went to the town.

[“No, do you know why?”] she asked curiously, wondering why the sudden visit 

[“You”] was Doyeon’s response and came Hyewon’s shock 

[“Me?”] 

[“What did you tell her?”]

Hyewon wasn’t sure where these questions were coming from but she answered them truthfully

[“Nothing”] she said with a bored tone, she heard a loud groan coming from the other line 

[“That’s not how she sees it”] 

Hyewon relays the few conversations they had over the phone until she reached the night at the projection booth. Then she remembered what she said, the look on Eunbi’s face. 

She exhales slowly [“Did I say something wrong if I said how I feel?”] 

Doyeon scoffed on the other end, in disbelief at how dense her friend was [“Yeah, especially when she thinks she’s being blamed] 

And so Hyewon told her everything; from picking her up, watching the movie, the conversation she had with Eunbi, how she was disappointed to hear Eunbi’s answer, how she left the room afterwards, the way they didn’t bring it up or explain their answers. 

By the time Hyewon finished summarizing the night, Doyeon had sighed for the nth time. 

[“You messed up, big time”] 

[“What did she tell you?”] Hyewon retorted, wanting an answer to how she knew about Eunbi 

Giving her a summary of their day, leaving out the part where she told Eunbi about how she met her soulmate - and the few hints she threw at Eunbi. Mostly emphasising the stress Hyewon had put Eunbi in 

[“And she opened to you? Just like that?”] 

[“Yeah she did”] Doyeon said with much sarcasm, rolling her eyes [“You should try it sometime, it would save me and Minju from all the heartache”] 

[“I told you I’m fine”] Hyewon said with a sombre tone

[“I know Hyewon, but we both know... You hate to see her moving on”] 

There was a silence between them, before Hyewon agreed she would talk to Eunbi. Ending the call, swirling around in her chair looking at herself in the mirror. She looked at herself up and down, looking deep into her eyes.  

Sometimes she supposes she’s happy. When she’s with friends, throwing her head back out of laughter, gasping for air at the joke someone just made. But then the day turns to night. And her carefree grin turns into an unexplainable sadness. Laying in her bed, thinking about all the things she wishes she could say. All the things she’s too afraid to admit, even on pen and paper - to herself. 

It’s days like this when she realises she’s many things. She’s happy and sad, outgoing and shy, obnoxious and sad. But mostly she’s empty. 

She looks back at herself in the mirror - into her eyes. She’s lost in her own world, where her thoughts are murderers, where her memories were the soul torturer. She couldn’t escape them, or hide from them; they were the worst kind of monster. And somewhere along the way she lost herself in the darkness. 

When she looks in the mirror she doesn’t see herself; she saw a stranger. 

It was one of the nights Hyewon’s parents were too busy with work. Leaving her Yujin and Yena alone at home, deciding to order some takeout for dinner. Set up in the living room watching tv and their take out on the coffee table. 

Yujin spoke with too much food in , that made the other two grimace “Unnie, do you remember when we used to go up to the cabin with Chaeyeon and Sakura?” 

Hyewon nodded her head, eating another spoonful of her food. She thought back to when they were all but children. How everything was much simpler, with their cheeks that always flushed when they ran through the meadows of the cabin. Nothing matter than who had the best toy or which anime character was their favourite. 

The trio used to be a group of five; they were all childhood friends. Their families were always close as they were business partners. Naturally as much as their parents met one another so did their kids, but their friendship didn’t age well. 

The other two drifted away from the trio. Friends that were always grouped together, attached to the hip to now being acquaintances. Hardly associated with one another other than simple gatherings, and the small outings they had once a month. No matter how much Yujin and Yena reached out - it was only one sided, since the other three didn’t put in as much effort as them. Soon moving on and making new friends, but the childhood memories they made remained. That’s all they were, memories.           

“We have a break soon! We should invite them to come!” Yena said jumping out of her seat and Hyewon could only groan but she didn’t 

“Are you sure? We stopped doing that when we were in our first year of highschool” Hyewon added, trying to push down the topic 

“I’m they’ll be fine” Yujin says nonchalantly 

No matter how much they distanced themselves from one another, it seemed their memories still pieced them together. They were memories, but they were never forgotten. 

“We can bring Yuri and Wonyoung, and their friends can come too!” Yena encouraged and Hyewon wasn’t liking the direction this was going in 

“You can invite Minju too!”

Hyewon’s ears perked, but still unsure about the rest of the guests 

“I’ll text them and we can all go during our break,” Yena said enthusiastically 

And before Hyewon could argue, Yena had already sent the message and slowly the replies of people agreeing came in. Hyewon sighed, this was a situation she wanted to avoid even being with everyone during the dance recital was exhausting, spending more than a night with them seemed exhausting. 

“Hyewon you can invite Eunbi and Minju” Yena says smiling, and Hyewon smiled back but she was seriously holding herself from punching them both straight in the face 

“Look!” Yujin said shoving her phone in Hyewon’s face

Message from Chaeyeon 

Of course we'll come! Just like old times :) 

See you there Yujinie 

Hyewon curses Chaeyeon in her head, rereading her text. Ready to pull a debate on why they shouldn't go seeing how giddy Yujin and Yena were as they began planning the outing, prevented her from uttering a word. She couldn't just say no, so she joined them and helped plan. 

After all, they were just memories - painful memories. 

The last school bell rang and students packed up their things and leave for home. Eunbi met up with the rest of the group who were waiting for her outside their class.