Jungkook is running from the parking lot to his apartment's floor because he is worried about Yeri and he feels bad about what he did to her earlier today. She only responds to his messages and his calls with one reply telling him that she is fine.

He shouldn't have let her go alone, getting mad at her and telling her what to do and not do. He gets worried but the way he expressed it is far from good. He feels stupid.

"I'm home."

He ditched his work and came home early to see Yeri but she seems already sleeping, no food on the table, the lights are off, only the one at their room is on.

He opens the door lightly and finds her laying down, back facing him at the very edge of their huge bed, she looks so small and even though he can't see her face, she seems very tired. He takes off his coat and tries to lay next to her without making any sounds. 

"Why does she look so pale?"

He touches her face lightly while linking his arms on his waist and back hugging her, very slowly, afraid if she feels bothered.

He holds her hands slowly, playing with her fingers and realizing that he needs to talk to her, to fix things he ruined today. To say sorry and check her conditions, so he gives her a tighter hug and a little peck on her cheeks.

"Kim Yeri."

He calls her name one time only, and her long eyelashes are already moved, seconds later her eyes are open, making him wonder if she was actually sleeping or not before.

She was trying to let herself go from him but he made her stop. 

"I have something to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

She gave up from moving because he held her tight and now closed her eyes again.

"I'm very sorry."

Yeri seems a little bit not expecting what he just said so she turns her face to him, her eyes locked on him. That big sparkling eyes who cried so much for the past few days.
Why would he get mad at her and take out his frustration over his job at her. She doesn't deserve this at all.

"For what i said, for what i did, for getting mad at you.."

"Are you really mad at me?"

"A little bit."

He laughs because admitting it is so embarrassing. Yeri is not finding it funny though, she looked so serious and it makes him feel worse. He uses his hands to caress her hair and her face before he says sorry once again.

"I shouldn't have done that. You were trying to help me, I should have been happy."

"You did that because you were worried."

"I am. I always worried about you, but it was also because i had too much on my head right now and i don't want you to put anything more in that. "

Yeri is becoming even more confused about telling Jungkook she is pregnant after hearing this. He already had too much to handle. How can she drop a big news like this when he barely able to put himself together?

"I was tired and I took it out on you."

He told her that quick because he feels really sorry to her. Yeri puts herself closer to him and it's actually perfect to finally feel her warmth again. She gives him a hug while burying her head on his chest and patting his back.

"I shouldn't have put more burden on you. I should make sure that you can work while feeling at ease and your mind is healthy."

"You are really the only thing that makes sense in my life."

He holds her tights but Yeri is pushing him away immediately. He looked at her surprised when she held his stomach with her hands and he was reminded of how bad her condition was earlier.

"Right, the doctor, what did he say?"

"Do you want to eat something? I made a new menu."

Yeri is not answering him but gets up from the bed and walks away from him real fast. He followed her closely because he found her acting weird. He was going to ask her about it but when he sees her busy in the kitchen with a smile and bright face, he is sure that she is ok.

****

Jungkook is back after taking a shower, only to find Yeri standing with her empty eyes in front of the fridge doing nothing. He needs to touch her shoulder before she finally notices his existence.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She put a glass of juice and one kind of pasta on a plate for him. She gives him a smile and takes a seat next to him. She's not watching him, her eyes are wandering around and she's not even responding when he tells her that the food is good.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

She finally looked back at him when he called her out and trying to make it easier for her if she wanted to talk. She looked so lost and completely out of focus. Something is definitely wrong.

"Is it good? The food?"

"I said it's good earlier."

He put aside his food, and showed her that he knows she has something to say and it's not about the food. He keeps watching her until Yeri finally gives up.

"I just feel bad for you."

She talked very slowly while avoiding his eyes.

"What about it?"

"I mean your job, your life, how people treated you, you have not enough room for me whining and nagging you, acting childish and annoying."

"I can still handle it, if you're doing it twice a week maximum."

Yeri feels better when Jungkook is making a joke and accepting her answer as it is. He's back to eating his food and no longer demanding her to talk. He looked so tired .

"I did the manipulation well."

"Ah..  how is it going?"

And it's also good that he's no longer hiding things that happened to him at work. 

"They gave me another chance."

"Good, means it was working."

"I need to finish it quickly, so I will probably come home late continuously. I will use my old room if i need to stay at the office."

Right. He used to do that often back then. Not coming home at all and staying there because of work or simply because of her.

"I'll stay with my mom if that happens then, you should not worry."

"I mean.. you can stay with me. Come for a visit sometime."

"You told me not to come again."

Jungkook looked very sorry when she said that. He didn't say anything but she knows that he feels bad for what happened today.

"I think i prefer you're with me in that situation instead of staying here alone.. I can feel more at ease if i can see you.”"

He talked very carefully, and it makes her realize that he's been thinking about this before he let her know.

"I think. it'd be better for me to stay here."

But Yeri decided to not do things according to what he wanted, she is pregnant right now, and judging from her first one, nothing is going to be easy. She will get sick often, and she'll just become a bother for Jungkook who is very busy. He seems surprised with her choice but nodding his head lightly means he won't force her to do anything.

"Alright then, i'll try to see you as much as i can, i'm going to work very hard."

She only responded to what he said with a smile and back to watching him finished his dinner. He told her that he will need to keep working tonight, and he won't mind if she wants to watch him, since Yeri kept asking this a few weeks ago. To watch him work and spend time with him even though he was so busy.
 

Yeri let himself go first when he already received three phone calls in the span of 15 minutes. She's back to her room, holding all 5 of the test kits she used earlier and contemplating whether to tell him or not. She's afraid that Jungkook won't be happy and she ended up getting hurt.

"But lying is worse..."

But she also remembers very clearly how Jungkook was so disappointed because she lied to him about being pregnant two years ago. It's not a good choice either.

She hides everything when she hears Jungkook is coming her way, he's busy talking with someone over his phone and only gives her a quick glance before coming out again after taking his bag.

"What's wrong?"

Few seconds later, he's back to her, no longer taking on his phone and putting aside his bag, while coming closer to her.

"Tell me. You're behaving weird for a whole night."

Yeri is definitely hiding something, he doesn't need to be smart to know this, it's just really obvious. Times like this are always something he's scared of, Yeri who's not happy and he doesn't know why.

"I..I think i'm pregnant."

He waits for her to talk again, because he's not sure with what he just heard.

"I took the test 5 times.”

Yeri closes her eyes because she can’t bear to see Jungkook’s expressions, who's probably surprised and disappointed. 

“Are you sure?”

She nods her head and slowly opens her eyes when Jungkook finally talks to her. He looked at her and there was no particular expression on his face. 

“I don’t know, but the test kits seem so sure.”

She’s showing off what’s been hidden behind her back to him, and Yeri already hypnotized herself to not get mad or angry if Jungkook is not happy about this.

“How do you want me to react?”

He lifts his face to her again, and his question is weird. She feels dumbfounded because of that.

“Why did you ask?”

“How are you feeling about this?”

Yeri is covering her face when he asks her. 

“Why are you keep asking me?” 

And she’s becoming frustrated because Jungkook didn’t straight forward with his reaction, it’s making her confused regarding her feelings.

“Because i don’t know if you want this or not!”

Jungkook honestly taken aback with this sudden news. He always wanted a family, a kid, Yeri and everything. Even though he keeps talking about this with her, he never really told her about how much he wanted it. He was always being very careful to not pressure her or bother her with that kind of thoughts. This is not only about him, it’s Yeri and everything she had in her life before today.

He can't just throw an idea about having a kid when he saw how much she suffered two years ago. The way she lost it, the way she hid it from him because he acted like a total jerk. He doesn’t want Yeri to get reminded of those times against her will. And seeing her crying like right now is totally not helping, he can’t show her how excited, thrilled, and happy he is, afraid if Yeri’s feeling is the opposite of him. 

“What if i don’t? And what if I do? Why does it matter when we’re in this together, you and me? Are you telling me to deal with it by myself because..i did that once? Because I lied to you before?”

But now that he’s receiving such a reaction from Yeri, He realized that what he’s doing is totally wrong. He doesn’t even defend himself because he knows for sure it will just make everything worse.

They’re not saying anything to each other, it’s just Yeri who seems very bothered by his existence and now walking away from him, she stands very far away and seeing her getting angry like this makes him realize how much he’s in love with her right now. And how he doesn’t want her to get hurt by this.

“Come here.”

He is trying to walk to her but she doesn’t seem impressed and takes a few steps away from him. She just looked mad.

“I’ll tell you how i feel, but you shouldn’t take what i told you as it is.”

“Fine.”

Yeri is not sure how she is going to take what he said, because right now she’s just so disappointed and sad. She’s afraid that what Jungkook told her will just make everything worse for her.

"I think it is good news."

Yeri's heart feels totally relieved when Jungkook talks to her with a smile. He looked so much better compared to any other nights she spent with him while he's being annoying.

Even though he still looked very tired.

"It's the best thing i heard for the past few months, really."

He's continuing his words without looking at her and slowly losing his smile. He seems genuine and Yeri totally feels bad for lashing out at him earlier, For doubting him and thinking that he will react badly and hurting her feelings in the process.

She became embarrassed over this that she's avoiding his stare when he slowly reaches for her again.

"But i just can't show you that, right? considering my negligence when you went through this the first time?"

"It wasn't your fault, we talked about this for so many times."

And it's not good for her when she realizes that Jungkook has the exact same worries with her. Fears of behaving wrong. Both of them can not act like a normal young couple after everything happened in their marriage. It's complicated and they have so many concerns they can not talk to each other because they don't want to bring their past into this new life they're trying to live on.

"But it's still happened, and I have my own share of guilts."

She definitely can't argue with that, because what she did was far from good, she lied to him, she didn't even let him know about her condition, she ran away.

She ended up saying nothing when Jungkook's phone rang again from the outside. He seems hesitant to leave her, but he did it anyway.

****

"You can work on that for a whole day tomorrow."

Jungkook is distracted, he doesn't want to deal with his work right now, but he has no choice. He needs to do lots of things in a short time.

"I'll see what i can do tonight, it'd be good if i can be done with this before the meeting tomorrow."

"It is better but it's a lot of work."

He stares at his laptop and the to-do-list he made earlier is still very long, no matter how much he splits his work with Jieun and the others.

"I'll try."

He cut the phone call and turned it off right away, trying to focus and deal with this faster will definitely spare more time for him to think about Yeri. So he better do it right.

He is even thinking about locking the door of his office so Yeri won't come here and he can focus on his work so he can stay with her and talk about their situation without any distraction later. He's contemplated for quite some time but it's too late, Yeri is already knocking on his door.

"You said i can watch"

That's what she said when he opens the door, she's holding her pillow and a blanket she usually used and he has no heart to forbid her.

"You can't sleep here."

There is only one couch, and it's uncomfortable for anyone to sleep there, let alone a pregnant woman.

"I won't."

And she seems to understand what he wants, she nods her head and takes a seat in a chair right in front of his desk instead.

"Is it going to be long? your work?"

"I'll probably stay here all night."

The exchange of their conversations is completely awkward, he can notice how Yeri is being careful, she is always having a hard time admitting her mistakes in their relationship, even though it's getting better as she's becoming older and more mature. But he knows she still works very hard on fixing that behaviour. Spending time with her for years made it easy for him to know that she feels bad for what she did even when she acted like she didn’t.

"I went to see a doctor earlier."

The way Yeri talks is weird, because this is not news for him, he knew about this already, judging from how she talked about this in a different manner from before, he can guess what she wants. She wants to say sorry, but she chose an unconventional way to do this.

"What did he say?"

There's a smile on her face when he asks. Her brightest expressions from tonight.

"He said i'm fine. He told me that you worked better than him to heal my depression for the past few months."

Not a new thing he heard, Yeri's doctor is always asking him for help and emphasizing about  how important he is for Yeri when they start living together again, he always takes everything seriously. He received credits from everyone..to the point that he feels bothered by it because the only reason everything happened in the first place was him. He's not helping, he's fixing his mistakes.

"He said you shouldn't worry about me too much, because I am healthy now. Completely.."

Yeri's eyes are getting teary so he stops what he's doing and focusing his eyes on her.

"And for what happened at your office, that happened because of this."

He stares at Yeri's hand when she puts something on his desk, a box with a ribbon on it. It's already ruined, the color is no longer bright, and there are dusts below it. He takes the box and opens it slowly. 

“You are going to become a father, congratulations.”

She talked with a very thin voice, She gave him one of the test packs he saw earlier..wrapping it as a gift and he finally came to learn that Yeri is actually happy with this, just like him.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Jungkook is only holding the box she gave him, without saying a word. She asked him because she wanted to know if doing this will be enough as an act for asking him to forgive her or not. She shouldn’t have doubted him, and she should have relayed the news like this earlier.

“Thank you.”

And when he holds her hands, caressing it and telling her to come closer to him, she knows that it is working. He looked so thrilled, excited, and happy, he’s smiling while dragging her hands until she stands next to him. She can’t help but think that she’s lucky to have him as her husband when she watches him giggling and asking her for more test packs she used earlier. She refused to give him those, so he got up and gave her a hug while saying I love you to her ears.

“I was scared to tell you, i thought you’re going to be disappointed…”

“Why would I be disappointed?”

“I thought you didn’t want a kid, i mean for now..”

“Why are you thinking like that?”

Jungkook seems disappointed that he’s letting go of her from his embrace immediately. Yeri is blinking her eyes because she’s not even sure why she was thinking like that.

"You never showed you want it."

So she just says something abruptly and she knows Jungkook finds her ridiculous, he's laughing at her while shaking his head and honestly it's offending. It feels like he's seeing her concerns as a joke.

"Didn't we talk about this often? I told you that you'd be great..that i'll work hard."

Seeing Yeri whose eyes are getting sharper, he realized that the tone of his talks sounds very judgmental and lowkey sounds like he's blaming her for thinking like that. She's no longer holding his arms and takes a few steps back from him, grabs her blanket again, she totally doesn't want to be here by now, she looks annoyed.

"You told me you don't want anything to make your life harder than it is ."

"I definitely wasn't talking about a child."

"You were definitely not talking about anything to the point that i need to wonder what is in your head, you treated me like i'm so vulnerable and fragile that i need your protection all the time, you forbid me to feel anything from our past!"

Well.. he can not blame her for thinking like that because, that's exactly what he did for the past few months of their marriage, he was so scared and insecure about her wounds from the past which were completely caused by him. He watched how Yeri struggled and worked hard to adjust her life with him again.

"You let yourself get hurt without me knowing, for what? for me to feel sorry ? for me to think that you paid all your wrongdoing from the past because right now you're protecting me like an idiot? Do you want me to owe you something?"

"Get out."

He is becoming too angry to do anything so he opens his office door, and tells Yeri to leave, he can't talk with her when she's behaving like this. It's tiresome.

And it seems like he's not the only one who's feeling like that, because Yeri is walking towards him and following his order immediately. There's no tears in her eyes but he can see how much she resents him this time.

"You should listen to yourself."

That's what he said as she passed by him and closing the door while hitting it after.

This is completely exhausting. He closed his eyes while walking back to his desk and trying so hard to focus on his work.