Spring 2019 | Joohyun

Seulgi had stopped talking to me.

I had no idea why but an unsettling feeling was brewing in the pits of my stomach. How long has it been since we last spoke to each other?

I mentally facepalmed myself. Had I been too caught up in everything else that I stopped noticing whether she was fine or not?

Looking up, I caught sight of her, brows furrowed as she concentrated intensely on the blank canvas that was in front of her.

How long has it been since I last heard her voice?

Should I ask her why though?

“Hey Seul-“

“Seulgi! Hurry up or we’re gonna be late for practice!” A boisterous voice cut in just as I was about to approach Seulgi.

“I know Sooyoung just give me a few minutes I need to put all these in my locker!” Seulgi yelled back as she tried to balance all her books in her hands. I stifled a laugh as Seulgi struggled adorably with all her art books in her hands.

“You! Always biting off more than you can chew! Give me some of these,” Sooyoung snatched a couple of books out of Seulgi’s hands before the two of them made their way to Seulgi’s locker.

But I didn’t miss the look Seulgi had given me out of the corner of her eye.

It was a look of fear and anger.

Was she scared of me? Or was she angry at me?

Before I had time to process that look, a familiar voice entered my ears.

“Whatcha looking at?”

“Bogum you !” I jumped and slapped him on the shoulder. “You scared me!”

“Whoops, didn’t mean to,” Bogum laughed it off. “But are you ready to head to class?”

“Yea, let’s go,” I smiled back. Bogum was a nice guy but to be honest, he wasn’t really my type. He was too focused on school to be bothered with anything else so conversations got very boring because everything we talked about would just lead back to school. He made a great study partner though. That was probably why most of our hang out sessions were study sessions.

Kinda boring if you asked me.

On the other hand, Seulgi was such an interesting person.

She could draw, play the guitar and her mind worked in very interesting ways. There was once we walked to my house after school together and she could name me all the different plants and animals we spotted along the way. I smiled remembering how excited she was in all the little details.

“Whatcha smiling at?” Bogum nudged me out of my reverie.

“Nothing,” I hastily replied. “Let’s go to class.”

Maybe Seulgi just needed her space as usual.

Early Spring 2020 | Joohyun

Seulgi hadn’t talked to me still.

Avoiding each other had become a usual routine for us now. No hellos, no goodbyes, no brushing of the shoulders.

It was like we had become total strangers.

Or better still, I was some kind of plague Seulgi was desperately trying to avoid.

Little by little, Seulgi had drifted away from the group and the only person who could really talk to her now was her best friend, Sooyoung. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous about how she could talk to everyone else except for me.  

I was convinced she needed space but this was obviously way too long for some ‘space’.

I wanted to know why, yet I remembered the look she gave me the last time she saw me. That look scared the hell out of me. It made me feel as though it would be better not to pry.

And so I never did.

But I guess life is full of surprises.

It was another after-school study session with Bogum in the library. Exams were coming and some studying was in order.

I need a ladder is there any lying-

“You should ask for help if you can’t reach this,” A soft voice murmured behind me as slender fingers grabbed the book I was reaching for.

“Thank you-“

Seulgi.

She talked to me.

“Don’t mention it.” And as though she was suddenly aware of the distance between me and her, she took a large step back. “See you around Joohyun.”

And just as quickly as she came, she left.

But she talked to me. Never mind she didn’t call me ‘Hyun’ but she talked to me.

A happy feeling bloomed in my heart and it reflected in the smile on my face.

Seulgi and I had started talking again.

It was small conversations here and there, but it was really better than nothing.

Life felt normal again. As if a missing piece of the puzzle had found its place in the world.

I promised myself I was not going to make the same mistake I did. I cherished every moment we laughed and talked with each other and I never asked questions about what happened. It was as if it was an unspoken rule between us; don’t ask, don’t tell, let’s just put all of this behind us.

Talking to Seulgi again after a year of silence made me really happy. It was a huge relief to know that despite the social distancing, she hadn’t changed.

Soon after, graduation rolled around.

“Hey Seul! Let’s take a photo together!” I held up my phone camera to commemorate the moment.

Little did I know that was the last time I would see her for a long long while.

Autumn 2022 | Seulgi

“Seulgi! Are you joining us for dinner?” Shawn asked from across the table. “We’re going out for some nice steak.”

“Sure, if only I can bring Wendy along,” I replied, not looking up from my work.

“Ahh the lovebirds,” Catherine sang as she popped over at my table. “Are you proposing soon?”

“Yep, this Saturday. It will be our first year anniversary and I’m sure as hell she’s the one,” I replied one of my closest friends I had made the past two years. “I’m taking her to an Oilers’ game and I already emailed the staff and they’re gonna show it on the jumbotron.”

“No ing way! You told Cat but not me? What is this Seulgi I thought we were best friends!” cried Shawn.

Rolling my eyes, I tossed a paper ball in his direction. “Shut up man! I just got the ring last week and Cat helped me pick it out. If it’s any consolation, you’re the second person to know.”

“Ok I’m good with that. Being second to Cat is cool,” Shawn heaved a sigh of relief and Cat and I couldn’t help but snort at his antics.

“What a romantic you are,” Cat commented. “Proposing to her at the arena where you first met. In front of a huge crowd nonetheless.”

I smiled goofily. Could Saturday come any sooner?

“Maybe I should drop her some hints during dinner later,” Cat commented smugly, raising her mug to her lips.

“Don’t you dare oh my god!” I shrieked as I proceeded to chase Cat away from my table.

“I won’t!