It had been a week since the hunt and thankfully, you didn’t manage to see Jiyong at all ever since that night where he had stumbled upon your tear-stained face while you were talking to Seunghyun about leaving the palace. Jiyong seemed to be busy as he did not instruct you to visit any more consorts.

The past nights have left you extremely free as you didn’t have to report to Jiyong and you spent most of your time with Seunghyun, as the both of you tried to come up with different plans as to how would be the best way for you to leave the palace. Sadly, there wasn’t a good plan at the moment but Seunghyun had told you not to despair as he would continue to think of more ways to help you.

Today was New Year’s Eve and the entire palace was full of excitement and chatter. Servants were bustling about as they prepared for the feast that was to be served tonight.

You had asked Seunghyun if it would be possible for you to spend New Year’s Eve with Siwon and Yuri but Seunghyun said it wouldn’t be possible at all as all the princes and you were expected to attend the family dinner with the emperor, empress and consorts. It was tradition after all.

Seunghyun had noticed your crestfallen face and then told you that it wouldn’t be all bad. There will be good food and fireworks. You had attempted a smile at him for trying to cheer you up but you couldn’t help but feel miserable as you missed your friends.

“Princess, which robe do you want to wear? The emperor has sent three robes for you to wear for tonight. They’re all so beautiful!” Suyeon asked excitedly.

You gave a shrug. “Whichever is fine.”

“Princess, how about this pink one?” Suyeon suggested as she held up the pink garment to show you.

You sighed in disinterest as you stared at the pink robe in front of you.

“No?” Suyeon wrinkled her nose. “How about the purple one? There’s a blue one as well.”

The dresses were all beautiful but not one of them held your interest as you were too busy wondering when would be the next time you would be able to get out of the palace.

“Are these dresses not to your liking?” Suyeon asked in dismay. “The emperor bestowed them so you would have to wear them tonight, princess.”

“Alright, the purple one then.” You replied.

Suyeon let out a sigh of relief and grinned, “Okay! I’ll prepare your bath now.”

After a hot bath and changing into the purple robe, the sky had turned dark and both Miyeon and Suyeon escorted you to the Serenity Garden where the feast would be taking place.

When you arrived, long tables were already set up around the garden with lanterns hanging overhead. It was a beautiful sight.

Many high ranking generals were already seated and you spotted the princes’ table right in front of the first row facing the main table where the emperor, empress and consorts will sit.

Miyeon then gestured to your table with the princes and you headed over. The emperor, empress and consorts have yet to arrive.

“Noona, you’re so pretty!” Seungri greeted loudly.

You flushed in embarrassment to see all five princes staring at you, mesmerized. Jiyong too, widened his eyes for a split second and you watched him quickly turn away.

“She really looks good in purple.” Youngbae smiled.

“Come sit over here!” Daesung waved. “I’ve saved you a seat between me and Seunghyun hyung!”

After taking your seat between the first and fourth prince, the consorts, empress and emperor arrived. Everyone stood up and bowed until the emperor has taken his seat.

When dinner finally started, laughter filled the air as everyone talked amongst themselves. Seunghyun was right. The food was delicious and everyone looked like they were having a blast. Everyone except Jiyong.

You had noticed that while the other princes talked and joked all evening, Jiyong hadn’t really muttered a word. His tray of food was mostly untouched as well as he just stared listlessly ahead at nothing in particular.

The rest of the princes didn’t seem to find Jiyong’s behaviour odd as they continued eating and chatting with you.

When the last dish arrived in the form of rice cake soup, you noticed that Jiyong had disappeared.

His seat was empty and when you pointed it out to Seunghyun, he merely said, “It’s normal. Jiyong always leaves early.”

You were about to ask why when a general had come over and started talking to Seunghyun.

You ate your rice cake soup as everyone else continued talking. No one else pointed out Jiyong’s early departure at all.

When all the food was gone, you decided to head to the bathroom before the fireworks display.

Miyeon and Suyeon accompanied you back to your residence which wasn’t too far away and when you were all done, you asked Miyeon, “Why doesn’t anyone care that Jiyong has disappeared?”

“Prince Jiyong?” Miyeon replied. “I’m not sure but it’s the same every year. He always leaves early.”

“He didn’t even get to eat his rice cake soup.” You said as you stepped out of your residence. “Everyone has to eat rice cake soup during the New Year. It symbolizes good health for the upcoming year.”

Miyeon laughed, “Yes it does, princess. Don’t worry, Prince Jiyong still has an entire day to eat them tomorrow.”

Suyeon let out a yawn and you suggested, “It’s almost midnight. You two must be tired. Why don’t the two of you get some rest? I’ll make my way back to the garden myself.”

Miyeon shook her head, “It’s our duty to follow you, princess.”

“Just go to sleep, you two. You have to wake up in a few hours’ time unlike me who has the whole morning to sleep in. Don’t worry, just go and rest. I’ll come back once the fireworks have ended.” You smiled.

Miyeon looked hesitant and you said again, “Go to sleep. I really don’t need any of your help anymore tonight. I’ll be fine.”

Eventually the two servants nodded and bowed. After the both of them thanked you, you made your way slowly to the garden alone.

As you weaved through the winding stone paths, you wondered why Jiyong had left early and why no one seemed bothered by it. Has he been doing this for so many years that it has become a norm?

He was also very quiet throughout dinner and you wondered if he wasn’t feeling very well. With these nagging thoughts, you decided to take a small detour and make your way to his residence.

There was still about 30 minutes to midnight before the fireworks will start and you figured you should be able to make it back in time for it.

When you reached Jiyong’s residence, the guard outside greeted you with a bow, “Princess, are you here to visit the third prince? He hasn’t returned.”

“Oh! Where is he, then?” You asked in surprise.

“I’m not sure. He left for the feast earlier this evening and hasn’t returned since.” The guard replied.

Baffled, you slowly walked away as you wondered where Jiyong could be. You then started making your way back to the Serenity Garden through a quiet and deserted path where a small river runs beside.

As you neared a big tree, you let out a small scream when you saw a figure sitting under it.

The figure stood up immediately allowing the moonlight to reveal his face. It was Jiyong!

“Oh my god! You scared me half to death!” You placed a hand on your chest as you tried to calm your racing heart down.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. “Besides, you were the one who screamed. I should be the one who was scared by you.”

“Were you?” You peered at him.

“What?”

“Were you scared by my scream?” You asked curiously.

“I was a little startled.” Jiyong admitted.

You laughed softly as you never imagined that the mighty Prince Jiyong that everyone was so afraid of would be startled by you.

“What’s so funny?” Jiyong questioned as he arched an eyebrow. “Did you come here just to scream at me and have a good laugh?”

You saw a trace of amusement in his eyes and you laughed again and said, “Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous. I came because I was wondering if you were sick.”

“Why would you think that?” Jiyong asked as he settled down to sit on the grass again.

“Well, you seemed down all night and you disappeared even before the rice cake soup was served.” You said as you stood beside him.

“I’m not sick. I’m fine.” He replied simply as he gazed at the night sky before him.

You didn’t know what to say as he didn’t seem too interested to talk and he wasn’t even looking at you now. It was all so silent as this deserted area and the only sounds that could be heard was of the soft bubbling of the river and the tree leaves that rustled slightly in the wind above.

You took a step back and were about to leave when Jiyong suddenly called out, “The fireworks are starting soon. You should sit here and watch.”

Your eyes widened immediately. Did Jiyong just invite you to sit with him and watch the fireworks together?

Hesitantly you sat down on the soft grass next to him.

Again, the both of you were silent until you ask, “Can I ask why you left the feast early?”

“No reason why. I finished my food so I left.” Jiyong replied, his gaze still fixed on the sky before him.

“You didn’t finish your food. You didn’t eat the most important thing. The rice cake soup. Don’t you know that eating rice cake soup on New Year’s Eve is tradition and it symbolizes good health for the upcoming year?” You asked.

Jiyong turned to you. “I don’t like it that’s why I don’t eat it.”

“Why?” You asked in surprise. “They don’t even taste bad or anything.”

Jiyong fell silent for a while as he turned his attention to the river in front.

“Because it will never be as good as the one my mother used to make.” Jiyong said softly.

“The empress makes rice cake soup? How good are they?” You asked.

“I’m not talking about the empress.” Jiyong said. “I’m talking about my birth mother.”

“Your birth mother?” You echoed in shock. “Wait a minute. Isn’t the empress your mother?”

“You really don’t remember everything? Not even this?” Jiyong asked softly.

“No.”

Jiyong replied, “My birth mother passed away when I was 7 years old. Ever since then, the empress has taken me in and I am to refer to her as my mother.”

You gazed at Jiyong in silence; half in shock over what he just revealed and half in disbelief that he was telling you this.

“I’m sorry.” You breathed out. “I really didn’t know.”

Jiyong shrugged. “It was a long time ago. Most people in the palace know anyway.”

“Wait, so is Seunghyun your half-brother or-

“He’s the empress’ real son.” Jiyong said.

You nodded slowly. So all the princes have different mothers.

“I don’t even remember how my mother looks like.” You let out a hollow laugh.

Jiyong gazed at you and said slowly, “Your parents passed away when you were really young as well.”

“R-Right...” You stammered as you quickly reminded yourself that you were not the poor orphan girl but the fifth princess living in the palace.

“Do you miss them?” Jiyong asked.

“I don’t know.” You replied honestly. “I try not to think about them at all.”

Jiyong nodded and said nothing.

“Do you miss your mother?” You asked.

“Yes,” Jiyong said. “Especially on this day of every year.”

“The eve of Lunar New Year?” You asked.

Jiyong nodded, “Today’s her death anniversary.”

“What?” You gasped. “But nobody said anything at all.”

“It happened many years ago and I never wanted anyone to remember it anyway.” He mumbled.

“Why not?”

You noticed Jiyong stiffening at your question and then let out a bitter laugh. “Why should people be reminded of my mother’s death? If I could, how I wish that I can forget about it. Imagine the scene of your mother dying replaying in your dreams.”

“Y-You witnessed the death of your mother?” You choked out.

“I didn’t just witness it.” Jiyong muttered bitterly. “I was the cause of her death. I killed my own mother.”

“What?” You stared at him. “What are you talking about?”

Jiyong fell silent and then flicking his eyes over to you for a brief second, he said softly, “That year after the feast, I sneaked out of the palace alone, after hearing that the best view to watch the fireworks is at the nearby forest outside of the palace. After noticing that I was gone, my mother suspected that I must have gone to the forest for the fireworks and she, along with some guards went to get me. I was in the forest, alone, and was starting to get scared after losing my way when I started hearing my mother shouting for me. I couldn’t see her but I knew she wasn’t far. I shouted back and started running towards the direction of her voice…”

Jiyong stopped for a moment and after swallowing painfully, he continued, “I was shouting for her as I ran towards her. I still couldn’t see her through the trees. She was calling out for me as well when suddenly I heard a loud scream from her. I ran faster towards her but had to stop when I realise that I was standing on the edge of the cliff. And there was my mother… right below the cliff. Dead.”

You let out a soft gasp as your eyes widened.

“Apparently, she fell off the cliff while she was coming to me.” Jiyong muttered. “Up until this day, I can still remember her at the bottom of the cliff…”

“Jiyong,” You whispered, staring at him. “I’m so sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Jiyong mumbled. “It’s a long time ago.”

You shook your head, “I shouldn’t have asked you about your mother. I didn’t know that something like this happened.”

“It’s really fine. I haven’t talked about her in a long while as nobody dared to bring her up in front of me. It makes me feel like my mother has been forgotten by everyone else.”

“I’m sure it’s not like that.” You said softly.

Jiyong forced a smile and replied, “I don’t blame them. It was a long time ago and everyone is just moving on with their lives. Even for me, when I get busy, I even forgot about my own mother. It happened a few years ago on the Eve of Lunar New Year. I had just returned from a battle and had many things to take care of after my return. I forgot that it was my mother’s death anniversary. Can you believe her own son forgot about that?”

“You must have been overwhelmed with work. I’m sure your mother doesn’t blame you.” You said.