The room atmosphere is so cold. All of them have the same serious expression on their faces and no one even move when Ryeowook takes his glass of wine and drinks it slowly.

“Well,” The oldest person in that room breaks the invisible ice between them. He laughed slightly as an effort to make the situation less awkward and grabbed his glass, shaking the red wine inside with a slight smirk on his face. “Shall we wait for them?”

The brown-haired woman raise her eyebrow which makes Ryeowook rolled his eyes because her face is really similar with a certain someone. Of course, they’re sibling but Ryeowook doesn’t hate her. It’s just for a moment, her face reminds him to someone he starting to hate.

Jongwoon nods lightly as his eyes wandered around the wide luxury room. They are in one of the most famous restaurant in Seoul. It’s Sora’s idea since she wanted to know how was his brother interaction with Donghae while Ryeowook is the one who choose the restaurant and made the reservation to book a private room.

As soon as Heechul called her and said he is already in Seoul, Sora asked him to meet and not to forget Ryeowook and Jongwoon because she knows both of them are watching clearly how Hyukjae and Donghae interaction. In another side, she loves to talk with Ryeowook because the guy is very cute and kind but at the same time, he also can be furious as hell. Meanwhile Jongwoon is really cool, it’s the same thing happened on camera. He didn’t talk too much but clearly paid attention.

She picked that day since she knew Hyukjae is going to stay with Donghae and luckily, Heechul, Jongwoon, and Ryeowook agreed.

Sora frowned upon Heechul’s answer. “What do you mean… wait for them?”

Heechul leaned his back to his chair and shove his curly red hair, exposing his handsome face even more. Ryeowook and Jongwoon staring at each other when they saw how Sora’s face reddened.

Why did she react like that?

Ryeowook almost burst out his laughter when he imagined Sora is actually in love with Heechul. Isn’t it sound so funny? Eventhough their characters aren’t really match but somehow they’re quite fit into each other… in his opinion. And oh, Ryeowook widened his eyes when his imagination got deeper and avoid himself from clapping carelessly.

They will be a complete hell to Hyukjae if they got married.

Sora is quite talkative and Heechul is a very loud person. Both of them can’t stop to chat since an hour ago and sometimes, Sora would hit Heechul’s chest lightly when the lawyer new haircut.

Well, they looked cute.

But Heechul didn’t notice how his best friend had a blushed cheeks minutes ago since he leans closer to them as if he wants to tell a secret.

“All of you don’t get what I mean?” He chuckled loudly out of nowhere which sending Sora to slap his arm (Ryeowook didn’t even count how many times it happens and Jongwoon too busy to shake his head for their action). “That’s hurt! But hey, what I mean is, just let them to do that. Let Hyukjae to stay for a few times in a week and left them alone.”

“And then?”

The lawyer shrugged his shoulders. “Who knows if staying together will make Hyukjae changes his decision.”

“But what if he hurts Donghae instead? You can’t pretend that he is not!” Ryeowook ignores how Jongwoon squeeze his thigh under the table cloth, a gesture to ask him to stop because they’re in front of Sora who is no other than Hyukjae’s sister. Ryeowook didn’t even spare a glance to Sora or Jongwoon, he only looked at Heechul with his chin raising up.

“That’s why, this has fifty percent of succeed and fifty percent of failure. It depends on how they act to each other. I’m not saying this way will success but at least, we have to try for this four months. Still, we have to watch them especially Donghae.”

Three of them keeping their straight face with their mind busy on different things. Sora started to think about Hyukjae’s feeling to Donghae actually and how much possibility for them getting back to each other, Jongwoon thinking about how this night they passed but he predicted it will be awkward for both of them, while Ryeowook is frowning.

Four months.

They only have four months until the babies born. It’s a very short time for them and Ryeowook doesn’t want to jinx but… isn’t that impossible?

The ride to their apartment isn’t easy for Ryeowook. He can’t stop to fidgety and keeps moving on his seat. He bites his thumb while watching the dark sky from the car’s window. When the traffic lights turned red, Jongwoon grabs one of his hand and it.

Even without asking, he knows what makes  Ryeowook so jittery. His boyfriend looked at him with a tired can be seen obviously from a pair of his eyes. Jongwoon knows how much Ryeowook loves Donghae as his best friend. Gosh, if Ryeowook doesn’t love his best friend, he won’t get involve this far.

“I think we have to back and make sure Donghae is fine.” Ryeowook stated in his weak voice. He started to feel guilty for leaving Donghae with Hyukjae. There were several times he wants to calm himself and think positively but he can’t. He can’t be as calm as his boyfriend and Jongwoon reads him too well.

The singer leans his forehead until their noses touched. “We’ll come back tomorrow afternoon. But now, just let them be, Ryeowook. It’s too late.” Jongwoon is very patience and calm and Ryeowook understands that only him, the person can lessened his worries.

And although he doesn’t like to wait, he chose to obey and rest his body on the bed. The silence night feels like forever, he couldn’t even sleep properly and doesn’t feel sleepy at all. He stares at Jongwoon and sigh when he found his boyfriend in a deep sleep. Doesn’t want to disturb his boyfriend, Ryeowook carefully brushing Jongwoon’s hair and peck his forehead.

He laid his back and staring at Jongwoon’s face, hoping he can feel sleepy soon. He ended up slept in his boyfriend’s arm with head leaning closely to the crook of Jongwoon’s neck.

.

.

.

The morning comes with a beautiful blue sky and sun shines above as Donghae walking to the backyard of the house and deciding to stand for a while, sunbathing –he always does this almost everyday– since the doctor said he needs more vitamin D and hoping just from consuming vitamin isn’t enough.

He tugged a smile when a pretty purple butterfly acrossing his backyard and flies around him. Oh, he really loves this kind of routine since he can relaxing himself while looking at the beautiful grass under the warmth of the sun.

Donghae looked at his feet and sighs. For the whole night, he stayed awake and kept thinking about his plans. He has decided what he wants and will execute it soon. Yeah, soon. Today.

As he chewing his toast, Hyukjae approaching and sitting beside him. He turns his head only to see Hyukjae’s fresh face –a sign that the man has taken a bath– and wearing oversize dark green sweater with a glasses on. Donghae almost dropped his fork and run his hand to touch that handsome face but luckily, he can compose himself.

“Want some?” Donghae offered, showing another three toasts untouched.

Another scene we used to do it together.

Hyukjae nods and takes one of the toast. He lets out a small hum when he tasted the chocolate jam with cheese. His eyes fixed on the peace around their backyard and the small breeze is making everything feels better.

“Did you have plan for today?” Hyukjae asked with his eyes still looking at the beautiful butterfly.

“No. Why?”

Donghae’s eyes trailed to Hyukjae’s chest. He wonders how it feels to rest his head on his favorite place now. Is it still the same?

Of course not.

He used to rest his head on Hyukjae’s chest when both of them cuddle. He used to sleep in Hyukjae’s arms whenever he wants. He used to be the one who prepared Hyukjae’s breakfast and dinner because he wants Hyukjae live healthily. He used to be tour around with Hyukjae to several countries or cities when they had free time and Hyukjae would prepare surprises for him. They used to do that.

Do you still remember about it… Hyukjae?

Donghae wonders if he can do it again with Hyukjae. With their babies. As a complete family. Well, would he want to do that?

Maybe not…

“Can we go to the hospital? I never company you to check on the babies condition, right?” Hyukjae smiles widely until he shows his beautiful gum, one of the billions things he loves about Hyukjae. “I want to hear their heartbeat too.”

There is no reason for Donghae to refuse. Not because he wants to refuse but because he wants to enjoy this moment. Because he knows after this, they won’t be this close anymore. He knows there is no chance for them back to each other but at least this is the closest look he can get of Hyukjae. And he appreciates this precious moment.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Hyukjae stunned for a while when Donghae walked first without any intention to wait him. He quickly run to approach the man who is standing beside his car. Hyukjae frowned, no, this is not what he wants.

“We can go by my car.”

As what Donghae has predicted, it won’t be easy for them being in a same room together. Unconciously, Donghae bites his lip and sit straighter than he needs. The situation is too awkward. Hyukjae’s eyes fixed on the street and Donghae keeps his mouth shut. There is no songs played and now Donghae realised, they’re really one step closer to become a complete stranger to each other.

Donghae lowered his head and looking at his lap. He doesn’t want to imagine his life after officially divorce from Hyukjae. Without someone he loves, without Hyukjae. He didn’t surprise when Hyukjae parked his car in front of the hospital he always go to check on his babies condition. Hyukjae must be asked his parents or Ryeowook before.

They didn’t wait too long to get in the room. As Donghae lays his body, he puts his hands together on the upper part of his body. This is not new thing for him to see his babies condition but this is the first time he comes with Hyukjae and however he feels excited.

He lets the doctor lifts his sweater and showing his stomach. A small smile draws on his face when he looks at how his tummy becomes now. He didn’t care if after this he will be all bloated and hard to lose his weight. He just wanted the best for the babies.

The doctor smiles as they can see how the two tiny babies grows and hear their heartbeats. Hyukjae is smiling widely and his eyes looked teary when he saw the monitor, one of their baby hide his face but it didn’t reduce how cute they are. Donghae silently wipe his tears when he saw that sight. He really appreciates this moment. At least, one of his wish granted.

“Just a few days ago, you come and today you’re back again. I guess, you’re missing them so much?” The doctor said in a joking tone which makes Donghae giggles. “It’s normal for him to feel easily tired and demanding for food more than usual because pregnant with twin are different.” The doctor explains to Hyukjae who is watching the doctor attentively.

“Oh, I see.” Hyukjae nods. “The babies are fine right, doctor?”

Donghae doesn’t pay attention to what both of them said. He focused on Hyukjae’s expression and once again, there is like an invisible sword cut his heart. He doesn’t know how he will live normally after this. Hyukjae won’t care about him anymore after he giving birth to their babies, he only loves the babies right?

Of course, Donghae hopes to heal his heart as soon as possible. He wants to erase all his feelings to Hyukjae. He wants to erase his love for the man. He wants to erase that excited feeling everytime the big round doe eyes met with his. He wants to stop the desire to giving in and begging him to stay.

But said is easier than done.

Donghae knows he sounds so stupid. People might call him a fool because he –even after those harsh words Hyukjae ever said and the fact they will have divorce soon– still loving Hyukjae with all of him.

Well, he made a bit progress, actually. He has made his plans and he will do it today.

Hyukjae keeps nodding at every words the doctor told him and when the doctor said they have finished, he helps Donghae to move from the bed by holding his arm.

Donghae didn’t say anything when Hyukjae paid for the ultrasonography session. Donghae knows Hyukjae is so excited to finally see their babies together so he just let him be. 

When they’re arrived at their house, Ryeowook and Jongwoon have waiting outside. Donghae chuckles when he catches worry on Ryeowook’s face so he quickly hug him and soothing his best friend. Jongwoon smiles a bit when his eyes met Hyukjae’s.

“We just came back from hospital because Hyukjae wanna see our babies.” Donghae explains before Ryeowook even asked. His best friend just looked at him and let his body being dragged to enter the house by Donghae. It feels so weird for Donghae muttered our babies but that is it. The babies are theirs and Hyukjae loves them.

“Have you eaten your breakfast, Wookie? You look tired.”

Ryeowook snorts but not denying. He just slept for two hours so there is no wonder if Donghae can see his dark circles. “Maybe I want to drink a juice.”

Understand his boyfriend wants a privacy to talk with Donghae, Jongwoon asked Hyukjae to sit on the living room and talking about the upcoming work to distract his attention.

“What juice? Orange? Apple? Avocado?” Donghae led Ryeowook to the kitchen and prepare the apples when Ryeowook answered he wants apple juice. But when he was about to cut the apple, suddenly Ryeowook’s hand hold his wrist.

Donghae holds his breath when Ryeowook’s eyes scans every single of his fingers and hold his another hand to do the same. He swallows his saliva when Ryeowook looked at him with wide eyes and unbelievable gaze.

“You… remove the ring?”

.

.

.

Hyukjae staring at his laptop blankly. He has a lot of work to do but at the same time his mind is not in sync. It was four in the afternoon yet there is none of them leave their room except for lunch two hours ago.

Ryeowook and Jongwoon had gone home after stayed for an hour. He didn’t talk with Ryeowook but just from the way the younger man looked at him, Hyukjae knew Ryeowook still hates him and worried for Donghae condition. If not, Ryeowook wouldn’t bother to come to check Donghae, right?

But there is another thing kept bothering his mind.

It’s not like Hyukjae didn’t realise this thing. He just tried to ignore it but it’s not as easy as he thinks it will be. He has found Donghae removes the ring. Their wedding ring.

Why should he feel bothered? Why he kept thinking about this thing?

Isn’t this will be good for him? It means Donghae gives up to protect their marriage right? It means a step for him to moving out from Hyukjae, right? And it’ll be easier for him, yeah, he should be happy.  

Moving out. Gives up.

“You’ll be happy if you and Donghae divorce, Son?”

His mom’s voice keeps ringing on his head. He remembers there is no more sign of his mom will push him to leave the thoughts of divorce nor support him to do it. He remembers his mom just grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly after that question being asked and even after she heard the answer.

“Yes. For sure.”

He remembers how easy it was to say the answer loudly with unbothering expression. He remembers he smiled with the thought of living without Donghae for the past months but why, why he has to doubt himself now?

What’s wrong with me?

He frowned when he heard Donghae close his room’s door. Oh, his room just beside Donghae’s so he can heard the door being opened or closed. With curiosity, he heading off to out from his room and watching in quiet when Donghae walks down the stairs carefully.

He follows his steps in a quiet, doesn’t want to make Donghae realise his action. His stern expression vanished when Donghae taking out some fruits from the fridge, started to chop the mango, taking out his favorite bowl, and take a spoon. When he was about to walk to the cupboard, Hyukjae finally voice out, “Want some help?”

Donghae startled and almost throwing his bowl hearing that familiar voice. He raised his head and Hyukjae stunned when he sees Donghae’s smile. It’s not a smile he used to see. This is not Donghae’s smile he used to know. This smile… is kind of forced and it’s strange to see it.

“I thought you were busy or sleeping.” Donghae said still with his small smile and continuing taking out a bottle of mayonnaise and cheese. “Want some? I’m going to make a fruit salad.”

Hyukjae frowned. Somehow, after doesn’t like Donghae’s smile now he also dislikes his tone that he is using. His voice... that tone… Hyukjae noticed his red nose but didn’t know how to react. Asking him about it must be awkward, that’s why Hyukjae just sit and shook his head when Donghae offered him the salad.

“You can always call me if you need anything, Donghae.”

He scans the pregnant man and his eyes softened when he saw how Donghae washes the grapes. He can see how Donghae being careful on every single things he does.

“I’ll try to do anything by myself as long as I can do it.” Donghae forces a smile again and ignoring Hyukjae’s surprised face, he continued, “I don’t want to disturb you, Hyukjae. Thank you for the offer.”

Hyukjae just stared at Donghae dumbfounded. Is this really Lee Donghae he knows? How could… he…

Donghae lowered his head to avoid Hyukjae’s eyes. He silently admits he has gone too far. Did he look even normal? No, of course. He admits this is too much for Hyukjae but this is another way for him to act tough and move on. He wants to stop any hopes for them to come back because he knows there is no more hope for them.

I’m hopeless.

He looks at his right hand. His ring finger which has no ring anymore.

Donghae feels kinda proud of himself since he finally succeed to take the ring off. It’s not easy. He wants to wear that ring again and every second is so tempting for him to get the ring and put it on his finger but he knows what the best is to hold himself. He made a promise to not crying as much as before but now, having Hyukjae in front of him… this is going to be hard.

Donghae took a small spoon of grapes and chew it slowly. How he wants to be alone and drown to his gloomy mode now and avoiding Hyukjae. He really hopes Hyukjae would go to his room or anywhere, at least not close to him.  

It’s like having a sweet dream and nightmare in the same time for Donghae. Their relationship is not like what they were. There is no more playful tease, talking about random things, or simple action to show love.

True that Donghae wants to have Hyukjae but not in this kind of situation. Maybe for Hyukjae their situation now is nothing because there is nothing between them except the babies they’re expecting but for him, this is the biggest struggle and the feelings are overwhelmed.

“Who has known about the babies?” Hyukjae asked with his low voice. This question has been haunted him for the whole day and seeing how Donghae bites his bottom lip just turned him more curious.

“Your family, Ryeowook, and Jongwoon hyung.”

Donghae doesn’t dare to look back at Hyukjae. He holds his spoon tighter as if Hyukjae would jump and kick him out from the house but no, instead Hyukjae leans in closer because he wants to see Donghae’s face clearly.

“Your mom… doesn’t even know?” When Donghae shook his head, Hyukjae nods in understand manner. “We have to tell your mom too, because she deserves to know that she will have grandchilds soon. If my family already knew, why don’t your mom also know?”

Once again, Donghae realised Hyukjae just acts as his babies’ father. It’s nothing related to the love he wants. He just nodded and muttered he will tell his mom by himself in a whisper. He can’t finish the salad so he keep it in the fridge and ready to back to his room to prepare himself. After all, he is going to say his plan to Hyukjae tonight. It’s slightly changed from his thought at the beginning but still, he thinks it’s the best for them. But Hyukjae called his name all of sudden, when he thought there is nothing Hyukjae wanted to say anymore.

“Do you want to stroll around Han river? There is a new café near there and we can watch sunset together.”

Donghae didn’t need to turn around to see how Hyukjae’s expression now. Sunset is not that meaningful when he realised their situation but the offer is too tempting for him to refuse. Perhaps, he can talk about his plan there? With a heavy sigh, he answered a simple, “Yes. I’ll get ready.” And left Hyukjae alone.

Hyukjae doesn’t know how he should describe it but one thing, Donghae has changed and it makes him confuse because he didn’t like it.

They finally arrived at the new café when the clock pointed on 4 PM. The place is not really crowded so they can walked around to see the nice decoration and asking the best menus. Donghae regrets to not bring his camera because the café has a quite beautiful atmosphere and several things that attractive in his opinion.

They ordered a slice of cheese cake, strawberry cake, carrot cake and chocolate cake and one iced lemon tea for Donghae while Hyukjae has his hot chocolate. There is silence between them since they’re drowned by their own thoughts and eat their food.

They just sat on the café for thirty minutes although Hyukjae wished they could sit longer and talk but Donghae seems not really comfortable hence they walked out after paid for the food and strolling around Han river.

“I think this is a good spot to watch the sunset.” Hyukjae muttered and smiling when Donghae follows him to look at the sky. The sky slowly sets its color to red mixed with orange which makes it more beautiful but the air is colder than yesterday. Luckily, they are wearing their thick coats and turtle neck sweater.

“What a beautiful sky.” Hyukjae whispers unconciously.

“Yes.” Donghae smiles in agree way before his hand slips in to his coat’s pocket. “There is something I want to talk with you,” Donghae clears his throat when Hyukjae shifts his gaze to him. They stand face to face each other and for a mere one minute, Donghae admiring his love.

You can do it.

“First, I want to return something to you.” He shows Hyukjae something out of his pocket. The thing that he loves more than other things, the most precious thing he wishes he can keep forever.

Hyukjae feels his breath hitch when the beautiful ring comes in sight. He looked at Donghae who is unexpectedly have teary eyes but at the other side he can see how Donghae wants to hold himself to not let any single tears drop.

“Thank you for giving me the most blessed two years in marriage life, Hyukjae.” Donghae grabs Hyukjae’s hand and places the ring to his palm with a shaky hand. “Thank you for giving me the most beautiful ring but I can’t keep this. You know… I won’t throw it away if this ring still with me but I know you will since you want to bury all of our memories, right?”

“Dongh—“

“Of course, you don’t need to worry about the babies. I’ll let you to visit them as much as you want and we can check on their condition together again. Like today.” Donghae forced a smile while pulls his hand from Hyukjae’s.

Today. He won’t forget about today. It’s hard for him to decide the time to voice out his plan and it’s even harder when all of sudden Hyukjae asked him to check their babies this morning. But Donghae won’t waste his time anymore. He has to speak otherwise he would change his mind again.

He takes a deep breath and trying to calm himself. “But I’ll move to my new apartment this Wednesday. I promise I’ll send you the address later.”

Hyukjae holds Donghae’s wrist, his face showing he can’t believe all of these. “What do you mean by move to your apartment? You can stay at our house!” Hyukjae didn’t notice how his hands turned to be shaken because of his emotion.

Donghae shooks his head. It feels harder to hold his tears especially when Hyukjae holds his wrist. “That’s not our house anymore. That’s your house, Hyukjae.” Donghae said in his low hoarse voice. He wants to run and hide himself but he can’t. This is his decision, he has thought of this yesterday and Hyukjae is the first person who hears this. “I can’t stay in the house where has our memories inside. I can’t, Hyukjae.”

“Hae—“

“You can visit and stay in my apartment, Hyukjae. But please,” A single tears finally trails down his cheek. It’s getting suffocated for him to speak and looked at Hyukjae. He wants to be strong in front of Hyukjae yet his heart can never lied. He is not ready to leave Hyukjae and never thought he will be ready anytime soon but he has to be realistic. With a shaky voice, he whispers, “I want to heal myself by erasing my love for you as what you did and forget all of our memories. I don’t want to feel hurt anymore, Hyukjae.” He pleads eventhough he admits it’s not Hyukjae’s fault.

Knowing he won’t be stronger, Donghae takes the opportunity of escaping while Hyukjae still standing, freeze in his place. He didn’t want to see Hyukjae’s expression or thinking about his childish act, he quickly walks to find a taxi and drive to the house. He wants to lock himself inside his room and crying his heart out.

His plan isn’t an offer for Hyukjae. He is not going to ask Hyukjae his opinion nor needing his answer. It’s going to be his plan and yes, he won’t change his mind no matter how hard it is.

Donghae lets his tears rolled down his cheeks. From now on, he has to be independent and adapt to live without Hyukjae. There is no more hope for them and he has to accept that fact.

While in the Han river, Hyukjae sits at the bench and looking at the ring in his palm. He looked at the sky where it sets completely to showcase the beautiful sunset which many people admire.

Sunset.

They held their marriage and have one of the most beautiful picture of them with sunset as the background. They loved to watch sunrise and sunset together rather than watching a good movie in cinema. They used to jogging together in the morning to see the sunrise and did the same thing again to see the sunset. Han river was one of the most visit place for them to date but how can... how come sunset and Han river also become the witness of their separation?

“Thank you for giving me the most blessed two years in marriage life, Hyukjae.”

“Thank you for giving me the most beautiful ring but I can’t keep this. You know… I won’t throw it away if this ring still with me but I know you will since you want to bury all of our memories, right?”

“But please, I want to heal myself by erasing my love for you as what you did and forget all of our memories. I don’t want to feel hurt anymore, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae never thought Donghae can do this to him. In the same day, Donghae makes him saw the most beautiful creature (their babies) and the most broken-hearted scene. Just a few hours ago, he felt ultimately happy but now… is there anything more miserable than this?

Miserable.

How Hyukjae wants to laugh because right now, he feels like a . Yeah, this sadness is so suffocated and he feels a sudden of dizzy.

Doesn’t it funny? How everything can happen in one day? Earlier he felt fine and relax but now, everything turns upside down unexpectedly. And what did Donghae say… Hyukjae want to bury all of their memories?

Hyukjae ruffles his hair. Feeling so frustrated with all these things but he doesn’t know how to fix it all. His heart keeps denying the truth deep down of it. He keeps shaking all the thoughts related to the words of love.

There is no possibility I’m still in love with him.

So.... yeah... what did I write? Is it weird? I'm sorry if it isT_T First of all, thank you for reading, commenting, subscribing, upvoting, and waiting for this story❤️❤️❤️ I'm sorry for late updateT_T Well, I finished my exams a week ago but the homework coming as soon as I finished my exam and my mood swing is making me didn't in a right mood to do the proof-reading *sigh* but finally today I did. So how's this chapter? Is it bad? In this chapter I want to emphasize that Donghae finally make an effort to escape and starting to know the better things for himself ^^ So, everyone who has waiting for this, let's dancing in joy! ^-^

Last but not least, stay safe and healthy! Wish you have a great day!❤️ I'll try to update soon^-^