'𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞
𝐢 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞

I knew what was coming with the round of rapid and steady knocking on my door. The teacher must’ve alerted my mother of the stunt I pulled with Irene earlier. I sat upright and crawled to sit at the edge of the bed, preparing myself for the incoming onslaught of my mother.

“Come in!” I said, silently hoping she hadn’t heard and would leave me alone before having a sudden short-term memory loss.

But life was never that easy on anyone.

My mother came into the room looking and assessing everything from top to bottom, left to right, and corner to corner. She must have been satisfied because she didn’t say anything. One small obstacle down, the biggest one coming.

“What is it, Mom?” I asked her with my best puppy dog eyes, hoping that by playing innocent she would take pity on me.

Mom was ruthless.

“Don’t play the innocent game with me, Seulgi. That puppy dog eyes don’t work on me anymore. Now, will you please tell me why I got a call from your school saying you didn’t show up on the last period and the one before it and when I got home you weren’t there or anywhere else I looked for that matter? Would you care to also explain why you didn’t pick up your phone?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow.

Absentmindedly, my fingers played with each other. I was so nervous. The anger in her voice was so palpable it almost felt like a slap on my face. Mom rarely ever got mad. Not even when I had broken so many things in the house or even when I came out as gay. She only got mad when I did something that made her worry, and that had only ever happened twice. Once when I was in kindergarten when I got lost in the mall because I was following a ‘Mickey Mouse’, and the other was when I got beaten up in eighth grade for being gay. All the more reason for me to feel bad because she must have been so worried. She probably had just gotten back from going to the houses of everyone I knew.

“I wasn’t at Sooyoung’s,” was the only thing I could mutter. It sounded so weak.

“Yes, I kinda figured that part out. What with having just gotten back from knocking door to door looking for you,” she snapped.

I flinched. “I didn’t mean to make you worry. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.”

“And why did you make that decision in the first place?”

I was quiet. I didn’t know how much I should tell her. Should I even mention Irene?

“There was this girl from school,” I started. I decided my mother deserved to know at least this much.

Something seemed to click in her brain. Both of her eyebrows went up and she looked surprised, but she didn’t say anything and left me to continue explaining.

“We went out to grab a bite outside for lunch.” I paused. Remembering what happened made me blush instantly. It was annoying that she still had this effect on me even when we weren’t together. I wasn’t used to someone having this much influence on me.

“One thing led to another, she told me about her home situation and everything. She was sad about it, so I thought it wouldn’t do us both good if we got back. She wouldn’t be focused with school, and I would be worried about her too, so I took her for some ice cream and we went for a walk on the park. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I was afraid you would be mad at me for skipping school for this,” I ended the confession, ducking my head shamefully.

When I was only met with silence from Mom's part, I braced myself for the worst and lifted up my head. But what greeted me was the woman smirking smugly at me, looking a mix of proud and almost devious.

“What?”

She waved her hand. “Ah, no, no, it’s just the first time I’ve ever heard you talk about your crushes-”

“She’s not my crush!”

“Ah, yeah, yeah, whatever she is,” Mom waved it off. “She’s still the first girl you’ve ever talked about besides Sooyoung. You can’t blame me for being excited!”

“You’re making it a bigger deal than it is, Mom.” I rolled my eyes, refusing to have my mother tease the embarrassment out of me. “She’s just someone I met at school. It’s not even like we’re friends or something.”

“Why not?”

“We hang with different crowds.” I shrugged.

“Ah, I know how it feels, hun.” Mom patted my back. “It’s inevitable, I guess. We’ve all had a crush on the ‘queen bee’ at some point.”

“Mom!” I yelled. She just laughed at me and ruffled my hair.

“Whoever she is to you, I’m just happy that you’re meeting new people. Though I would like it better if you don’t worry me to death in the process. You haven’t skipped a class and it’s been some months into high school, Seul, I thought you weren’t normal!”

“Mom,” I deadpanned. “Since when is skipping classes included into the ‘normal’ category?”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “I used to skip classes a lot with your father back then. We barely had enough credits to graduate in time. And that was only because he managed to get answers from the smart kid and share it with me on exams.”

“Jeez, Mom,” I shook my head. “I knew you were bad, but I didn’t know you were this bad. And stealing answers from the smart kid? Damn, Mom. How ironic to have your daughter be the smart kid and in danger of being bullied into giving answers just like you did back then. You must’ve been so ashamed.”

Mom laughed and pulled me close to her side. “I can never be ashamed to have an amazing kid like you. Honestly, I wouldn’t have known what to do if I’d end up with a kid just like me back then. You’re the best daughter anyone could ever wish for.”

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