(3) SLEEP TALK - MAMAMOO

I heard her unconsciously calling my name again last night. She was drunk. She's always drunk when she does. Like how she only calls my name when she need something from me- nothing more.  

"Yongddun."

"Yongsun-unnie."

"Unnie."

"Solar~"

I'm starting to hate it. 

I always feel it's one-sided. 

I always feel it's nothing more for her. 

I hate that it's different for me. I hate that it's different when she's around. I hate that she's different to me. I hate that I feel different when she's with or without me. 

Sometimes I just wanna punch myself in the face to wake myself up. It's not her fault that I'm falling. It's my fault that I'm too soft for her that even when I wanted to avoid her, I couldn't. 

It's so difficult. We've been together with our co-members for years. I can't imagine my life without her in the near future. I just can't. 

I heard her calling my name last night when we were inside the car after the after party for the new cf shoot. She looked exhausted and drunk while sleeping on the opposite passenger seat across mine. 

I was just staring at her, admiring how still pretty she was even when she was tired and drunk. Her hair was a mess. The smell of alcohol was lingering around her clothes. Her smudge eye shadows and agape lips. 

A beautiful mess.

I watched her having fun earlier. I love seeing her starry eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. I love seeing her eyes wrinklinh with her nose crinkled from laughing too much. It always give me a relief when she's happy especially when I am the reason why. 

I know I'm passive-aggresive most of the time. I don't know. I just know I need to be careful with my actions and guard myself. My heart. 

I don't want us to end up hurting each other because of catching feelings. 

Is it necessary? But I treasure our friendship more than anything. 

"Yong." 

"Yong?"

I didn't know what to do. I was just staring at her whispering my name while she's asleep.

"Yonggggg-"

"What?" I asked, still staring at her. I shouldn't talk to her at this state, right? She's drunk and sleeping. 

She pouted her lower lip. I couldn't help but