“And I’m a good swimmer, baby, who’s going to hold you as you float.”

                                  -

Soyeon’s scowl intensifies at the harsh beating of rapid knocks on her door, and she tightens the drawstrings of her rope around her body before stomping towards the front door. In the back of her mind, she’s aware that none of her friends could possibly know where she lives; she’s that secretive, so it must be one of her parents’ friends. She’s contemplating whether she wants to yell at them to calm the heck down or not. She doesn’t want to be considered ‘rude’. But knocking so loudly on people’s doors should be an actual felony. 

“I’m coming! Jesus! Stop knocking!” The knocks only grow rapidly, “Are there ear mufflers on your ears?” She exclaims. 

She smacks open the door with a harsh yank, a smack of beating redness on her face at the burning of her anger sweltering actual heat on her body. She’s surprised, though, to see Suho’s beaming face behind her door, not showing the littlest of remorse at awaking her so vigorously. What she’s more surprised about other than the ridiculous grin up his pretty face, is his actual existence. If there’s anything she’s currently known of, it is her secrecy. People rarely know who she is as a person, and it’s even rarer to know where she lives. She never has told Suho where she lives. So why is he here?

It’s like a dog’s reaction to their owner’s danger when she grabs the cuffs of his shirt and yanks him inside the house. She’s not exactly a strong girl, but her b intensity overflowed her, and it propelled her to pull him inside. Ignoring his loud yelp, she closes the door shut behind them. For a few seconds, she stares at her door with wide, panicked eyes; but she tries to tell herself she’s exaggerating. She calms down quicker than she expects, but maybe she hasn’t really calmed down, because she turns around towards Suho, ignoring his flinch, and exclaims.

“What the heck are you doing here?”

Immediately, he’s reformed, for whatever reason, she doesn’t know. He’s a bit loose in the head like this. He beams her another grin, his cheeks puffing up like a cute rabbit. It soothes her gurgling flames just a little. 

“I’m here to see you, obviously.” He tells her, obediently clasping his fingers together and swinging around his heels like he can’t keep his energy away. She raises her eyebrows up at him, instantly catching up to what exactly he wants of her. Not seeing her, that’s for sure. 

“I already said no, Suho,” she walks farther inside the house, hoping to escape him, and he’s quickly following after her with loud whines, “No means no. I understand that you haven’t heard of the word before but trust me, it’s in our dictionary and a lot of people use it. I can google it for you just in case, too.”

She can practically feel him rolling his eyes at her from her back, but she ignores him and walks away to drink a cup of cold water. She’s not usually a morning girl, which brings her into a short fuse, and she hates drinking water without having eaten anything yet. But she’d do anything to defuse these sweating emotions quickly building up within her. She doesn’t want to end up yelling at him again, not when she knows of his actual intentions. 

“C’moooon,” he stretches his words like a perpetual child, pouting. She shoots him a leveled glare, “It’s not like it’d kill you or something. It’s just a blind date, and with a friend I know!”

“Blind dates can actually kill you, you retard.” She answers naturally, or trying to sound as natural as she can. She downs her glass of icy water in one gulp, hoping that she’d be able to drag enough time to soothe his b expectation. “Do you know the number of sociopaths that end up being the blind date, and suddenly the only thing we hear on TV is how the police found the remains of a mutilated body in the dumpster. That’s not going to be my future, thank you very much.”

She knows she’s exaggerating but if there’s one thing she hates — and because she at it — is dating. Not just blind dating, but all sorts of dating. She’s not a person fun enough, or spunky enough, to take on a date; and she always ends up saying things she’s not supposed to say, which ends up scaring the date away. Now, she has been telling this to Suho for three days, and you’d expect him to understand the blatant no she has been giving him considering he’s the oldest one, and he’s supposed to be the mature one, but nooo, it’s like talking to an unmoving rock. 

“I said he’s my friend,” he rolls his eyes again. “I know him, and I trust him. He’s a great guy, and I’m sure you’ll like him.”

She gives him a long, burdening look, hoping to sway him off of this bad, horrible decision, but he’s staring back, his eyes wide and evasive. She knows she won’t be able to convince him the old, usual way — which includes acting a lot like a young girl afraid of molesters— and so she decides to opt with the harder route; constant no’s.

“Suho, no.”

“Why the heck not?” He practically throws his arms around him in frustration, the fur coat he’s wearing looking absolutely ridiculous in him, whatnot with the degree thirty-something out there. “When was the last time you hung out with someone aside from me and the boys? You’re not getting any younger, you know. You gotta be available for the eager crowd.”

She gives him a hard, judging look that’s as hot as the weather outside and wishes she could punch him in the face or something. 

“Eager crowd? Really? For me?” She releases a long, agony-filled sigh, “I’m guessing you haven’t been paying attention the last month we spent together.”

“Yes, I have,” he rolls his eyes again, and she’s already feeling a pulsing headache growing in her head and she isn’t the one moving her eyes so excessively. “And all I have gathered is that you’re an introvert. You hate Byun Baekhyun. You’d rather stay home to rot than go out, and you just had a freaky reaction when you found out I’m standing in front of your house.”

She’s a little bit taken aback that he has noticed, and she’s hoping that won’t show up in her face. Her hopes go to the unsupported drain, however, when he shoots her a knowing look. She releases a loud, dragged-out groan, and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m not just an introvert, Suho, I’m a super awkward turtle with the attention span of a rhino and I have severe social anxiety,” she begins, and as much as she hates dissing herself; she knows it’s the unadulterated truth, “This isn’t just an introvert syndrome. It’s a super introvert syndrome. I refuse to feel worthless about it, which my future date would definitely make me go through because he’s a social butterfly that doesn’t understand why people have to hide behind their hoodies. Plus,” she swallows, knowing that what she’s about to say could be very easily used against her, “Don’t bring Byun Baekhyun into this.”

“First of all, wow, what a judgy person you are.” He gives her a judgy look exactly like the tone of his voice, “My friend is nothing like what you described. Second of all, Byun Baekhyun’s going on a blind date too.”

She blinks, surprised, “He is?”

“Yeah,” she doesn’t understand why he sounds so smug about what he says next, “He has been a prudish hormonal elementary student the past few years and I’m positive I can drag him out from between those walls he built around himself. You two are so similar sometimes, my God.”

She tries to cover the tinting redness that coats her cheeks at his words by her hands, hoping she’s being blurry enough, “Baekhyun and I are like the color white and black. What similarities are you talking about?”

“You just pretend like you are different,” once again, Suho sends her a knowing look, and she wonders if she hasn’t been acting as discreet as she thought she has, “I know that you two would have been the best of friends if you only let down a fraction of your ego.”

She’s reluctant to admit that he’s right, because man, do they both have such an inflated ego. But then again, he doesn’t know where that ego of theirs is stemming from. Suho can act like he knows everything about them, and that they’re as transparent to him as two human beings, but he doesn’t really know anything. 

“Sometimes I wonder what types of chemicals go around inside of your head.” She turns around to go further into her home to hide from him.

He brightens, “So you’re going?”

-

Agreeing to go with him to that date he’s so giddy about is such a terrible idea, and not because she’s suspecting the worst (which she is) but because she’s going to have to act absolutely different than her real self to lure the hearts of those poor friends of Suho. If there’s something she hates, it’s insincere people, and that has been the only thing she has been good at being the last few months. She’s also naturally a detached person, and people don’t condone well to hardly-reachable people; especially not when they’re girls. If she wants to be on Suno’s nice side, then she needs to be open, fun, giddy, happy, and radiant.

Everything which she’s not.

She’s dragging her legs harshly against the floor as Suho drags her towards the gathered boys who would do this ‘date’ with her, and she’s praying Suho’s monstrous powers would drain, so she can end up flopped on the ground like seaweed. Unfortunately, he’s stronger than she gives him credit for, and so he successfully bundles her up next to Baekhyun and Sehun in front of the cafe. 

She straightens up after Suho pushes her towards the two, releasing an exaggerated breath out of his lips and dusting the nonexistent dirt in his new leather jacket. She fixes her own short skirt — forced to wear by Suho — which risen up to reveal a sliver of her thighs because of her reckless ruckus with Suho, and then brushes Suho’s scent out of her pink, frilly shirt as if it’s possible to do so. From between the two boys, she’s trying very much to ignore Baekhyun’s eyes on hers. However, she’s unable to ignore his presence, too, not when he’s talking to her. 

“Wow, you’re dressed up.” 

She spares him a small stare, only because she catches the casualty he’s trying to force into his tone. He’s looking back at her, eyes a little bit too revealing, and a little bit too expressive. Because he’s scowling at her, her previous thought of him being flustered flies away. Like her, he’s dressed up in a nice pair of jeans, and a long-sleeved white shirt, showing those good broad shoulders of his. She’s wondering if he has been forced inside his clothes too because God knows she hates the four inches heels she’s putting on. 

She looks away, back at Suho with an indifference of a saint, “So are you.”

“You’re actually going to this blind date?” He asks again, sounding a bit flabbergasted. She’s flabbergasted herself, but for totally different reasons. Why is Baekhyun being talky with her? 

She spares a small stare at him again; then quickly looking away. “Aren’t you?”

She’s not sure what she said wrong, but it propels a darkened expression from the naturally fair-skinned boy. She’s used to such expressions on his face, but she could never get used to how everything she says provokes such a reaction out of him. It’s like he has her blacklisted or something. Whatever she says, does, or even thinks, would elicit a bad expression from him. 

“I thought you don’t date.” He says, his tone as harsh as the massive squares building up upon his face. 

A part of her is not taken aback by his words, having been a pretty frequent sentence of hers before. But she’s a little, well, sparkled, at the idea he has actually remembered. With a small, obscure voice, she mumbles.

“I don’t.”

Suho’s back from where he has gone inside the cafe, holding a bunch of paper squares which he’s halfway squishing in his fist, and smiles radiantly at them. He claps his hands, or more like smack an open palm over a fisted one, so he can gather their attention. They all look at him with ghost-like facial expressions; Sehun looking the crankiest.

“Okay, friends!” He cheers, and Soyeon hears Baekhyun suppress a slipped growl from between his lips. She purses her lips to stifle a laugh. “You guys are some of my most awkward s so I’m going to have to pair you up with some of my amazing s!” 

She, Baekhyun and Sehun groan simultaneously. She’s not sure whether it’s because of exasperation or annoyance. Probably both. 

“Shush, shush!” Suho claps once again, this time to shut them the hell up. “No groaning, no growling, and no scowling, either! You’re going to act like a primpy and be the best version of yourselves as you can. I don’t want to see any eye-rolls, and no grimaces, you hear me?” Everyone looked at him, horrified, wondering secretly if Suho had been a drill sergeant in his previous life. “Soyeon, make sure you flaunt your eyes and those cute lips of yours. Showing a little bit of cleavage would be totes amazing! Please don’t start blabbering about your space bull the whole time. Just one information to make you sound smart, but not to the point where you’re obsessed.”

Soyeon wants to be offended; she really does. She opens to say something, but Suho’s hurriedly moving onto his next victim. 

“Sehun, please, for the sake of everything holly, don’t call them a douchebag just because they prefer things you don’t, like apples over strawberries, for example, and don’t fight their words with yours just because it’s amusing to see them flustered. Baekhyun,”

Whereas Sehun looks irritated, Baekhyun looks horrified. Suho squints his eyes at him, staying silent for a bit as if collecting his thoughts on how much offense he can direct his next speech.

“Don’t look through their physical body and zone them out,” Suho starts, slowly. “They’re people with thought processes and feelings to be respected. They’re not machines who don’t get hurt. Don’t be the smartass you think you are because you’re not, you basically just sound dumb. Compliment them with at least one of their strong attributes and remember to smile.” He points his fingers at Baekhyun, smiling widely and insincerely at him. “Smile, Baekhyun, smile.”

Baekhyun won’t have this go merry. He mutters blankly. “You’re repeating it as if I never smile.” 

“Most probably because you don’t?” Suho sassily places an arm over his hip. “Loosen up those broad shoulders of yours, kid. Show them up, and Sehun,” He barks, all of a sudden, and Sehun, who has taken a few steps backward in Suho’s droning period, stiffens, turning his head slowly towards the elder with wide, panicked eyes. Suho flits his crazed eyes at the youngest predatorily. “Where do you think you are going?”

“I thought I’d be able to sneak out after you doze off with the boring bull you say?” Sehun blinks his eyes in faux innocence. “Don’t they bore you off?”

“I’m really thinking about canceling your date, Sehun.” Suho threatens, his eyes resembling angry slits.

Sehun’s face grows radiant. “Really? That would be super awesome!”

“Get back here, you little !”

While the two fumbled around, with Suho grumbling Sehun’s ears off; Baekhyun leans towards her in what he thinks to be an inauspicious gesture, and when he whispers, his breath cascades down on her like a warm, fallen pillar. She tries to suppress her massive shudders. “Do you reckon he has an On-Off button?”

Is he joking with her? She can’t tell. His tone is a little too casual for her to detect anything else aside from that, and she refuses to look sideways at him to catch his facial expression. It’d tell him she wants to look at him; and if there’s something she doesn’t want Baekhyun to understand wrong about her, it’s her disinterest regarding him. 

“You mean Suho?” She whispers back, fiddling with her fingers nervously. “You’d be lucky to find a termination button somewhere there.” Unaware of her, she’s growing happy that he seems so amused about her joke, his eyes a copy of a twinkling flashlight. “Trust me, he seems to be hellbent on pairing up our sorry asses. I don’t think anyone of us can actually do something about it. How many friends does he have anyway?” 

Baekhyun shrugs good naturally, but she’s not lost on how nervous he looks himself. Does he feel as awkward as she does for having a normal conversation for once instead of squabbling around like idiots? “Chanyeol’s lucky he managed to convince Suho he didn’t need to be coupled away. Kyungsoo’s a definite no-no so I don’t think Suho would have offered anyway. How did Kai manage not to be dragged into this?”

Soyoen‘s stomach bubbles at the emotion, a massive eagerness at feeling adequate enough for him for the first time in so long giving her a sensation of a sinking claw suddenly levitating off of her body. The feeling’s so good she’s afraid it’d show on her face. She bites through her eagerness by her lower lip, feigning dimness. “I dunno, something about his grandmother going through a heat ?”

“We’re in February.” Baekhyun gives her a look like she’s insane and she knows he’s giving her the look without having to look at him. Her lips curl a little, eyes twinkling, and when she finally turns sideways to look at him, his own eyes widen at the smile. 

“His grandmother passed away ten years ago, Baekhyun.”

He gasps, “The son of a —“ 

“Alrighty!” Suho interrupts Baekhyun’s loud exclaim with a cheerful yell, and whether he heard their conversation or not; he’s not showing it. Next to him, Sehun looks miserable, and Soyeon has a large urge to laugh at him. She doesn’t, thankfully, but Baekhyun’s ruder than her, and easily snorts. Suho keeps the pretense of a pretty little smile on his face when he whispers next, but everyone’s aware he’s talking through gritted teeth. “Let’s all go inside, each one of you remembers the numbers assigned to you, right?”

A grumpy ‘yes’ reverberates between them all. Suho beams.

“Great! Good luck y’all! And please don’t scare my friends away.”

-

Save to say the date was an absolute disaster, not in itself, of course, but they made sure to make it a disaster. It wasn’t really intentional for all three of them to ruin their dates, but they made sure to do exactly the things that Suho told them not to, and that did not settle well with Suho’s ‘nice’ friends. Suho wasn’t happy too, at all.

But they were, they still are, and that’s all that mattered, really. After each one of their dates went away running with their tails between their legs as quickly as they were able, th