The day of the funeral was awaking nightmare for Jinhee. She hadn't slept the night before because every time she closed her eyes she could only envision all the moments her father was going to miss out on. He wasn't going to be there to walk her down the isle, hold her future children, be there for all of the progress she makes at work. She was going to miss him in every moment for the rest of her life. When the sun started to rise she rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom where she saw her reflection and wish that she could manage to get a few hours. There were heavy bags under her eyes which matched the greasy, limp hair hanging around her face like a strange shadow which enveloped her whole being.

 

She fought with her own mind as she struggled to get into the shower and clean herself. Everything felt like a struggle as she washed her hair and cleaned herself to the best of her abilities. When she got out she saw the black dress that was hanging on the back of the door, waiting for her. Her mother had it sent over the day before and Jinhee felt a great weight growing in her chest as she slipped it onto her tiny frame. The closer they got to the day of the funeral the less she wanted any type of food. When Jongin was around she would force herself to eat but found it difficult to keep a whole meal down. He didn't mention anything but he could see her getting smaller and the light slowly fading from her eyes. Jinhee didn't care about her weight so much but she hated the way her ribs were starting to stick out so she promised herself to try and eat more so she didn't worry anyone. There was a knock on the door and Jinhee jumped from shock.

 

"The car is downstairs." Jongin called out and Jinhee said that she was just finishing up. She grabbed a large clip from a drawer and put her hair up in a bun. When she stepped out she saw Jongin in a tailored suit but it was less fancy than his other ones that he normally wore for work. He held out his arm and Jinhee took it so he could lead her which was a secret blessing because Jinhee was in an odd fog. The car ride was over in the blink of an eye and they were at the funeral home. The door opened and Jinhee was startled to see Jongin standing there, extending his hand for her. She felt terrible because she wasn't even sure if he tried to talk to her during the whole trip.

 

"Thank you." She finally muttered as she took Jongin's hand and he pressed a thin smile across his face but it was clearly forced. People were already gathered outside and when they saw the two of them approaching they deeply bowed and offered their condolences. Jinhee wanted the ground to swallow her whole as she walked into the room and saw the shrine set up to her father with her mother kneeling beside it. Her mothers makeup was already smudged under her eyes from the endless crying she had been doing over the past few days. Jinhee let go of Jongin and floated over to her mother who stood up and the two women clung to each other while everyone tried not to watch their intimate moment. Jinhee took her spot beside her mother, kneeling beside the shrine and thanking people for coming by and praying for the man that was their husband/father.

 

Jongin hung around close to them but once in a while he would see people he knew from work or overlapping social circles, so he would go and talk to them but he always made sure to stay close to Jinhee in case she needed anything. After a few hours they were told that they were going to move the shrine to its final resting place in the family burial grounds so Jinhee figured she should go to the bathroom before the almost hour long trip they were going to have to make. On her way there she felt a large hand grab her elbow and pull her into a side hallway where there was no one walking around. She almost let out a yelp until she saw Chanyeol.

 

"Don't scare me like that." Jinhee lightly hit his chest.

 

"Sorry." Chanyeol said weakly and Jinhee knew that he meant for scaring her and for her father so she just nodded her head. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay before you headed out." Chanyeol brushed a lose strand of hair behind her ear and Jinhee grew rigid under his touch. It was weird having anyone other than Jongin touch her but she figured he was just being friendly.

 

"I'm....fine...I guess....considering."

 

"Okay, good. Make sure to call me when you want to move your stuff back into your apartment. I'll get some wine, order some food. We can make a whole night of it." Chanyeol was trying to bring up her spirits but it ended up just making her more sad.

 

"What? Move back into my place?" Jinhee took a step back and Chanyeol gave her a weird look.

 

"Well yeah, since your dad died the contract between him and Jongin's dad wouldn't matter right? So now you don't have to get married to that jerk. It can be just you and me, just like the good old days." He smiled brightly and placed both of his hands on her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze before he wandered back off. Jinhee stood there, frozen in that moment in time. Now that the contract was over, would that mean Jongin didn't want to marry her anymore? She looked over and saw him talking to an older gentleman and when he noticed she was staring, he gave a little nod and went back to his conversation. Whatever was left of her heart shattered thinking that he was only there to comfort her and tomorrow they would be strangers. After she went to the bathroom, the family and very close friends started loading into a large SUV. Jongin was standing off to the side, looking around for Jinhee and when he caught a glimpse of her his heart brightened and he quickly walked over to her.

 

"Hey, have you eaten today?" He asked and Jinhee couldn't bring herself to talk to him so instead she just shook her head. Jongin reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a protein bar that was dark chocolate and strawberry. "Try to eat this in the car, you need your strength." He looked back and saw Jinhee's mother searching for her daughter. "Listen, I have to go into work for a few hours. I should be back home before you so I will meet you back there, okay?" Jinhee nodded in response and took the protein bar. Jongin kissed the top of her head and headed towards a car that was waiting for him on the other side of the SUV.