It was the most awkward dinner in the world for Momo—fourth wheeling three friends who non-stop talking about their childhood antics, with two Japanese beauties pointedly ignoring her while talking to their respective dates for the night and one maknae trying hard to pretend to be a model and succeeding: to the perspective of those four who doesn’t have a clue who she is but cringey to the other four who knows she was lying between her teeth.  

The three friends, who called themselves 3mix back in the day, talked and laughed about embarrassing things that they have done in high school and Momo laughed and nod on their stories but couldn’t help but feel envious on their bond and to feel so out of place. She moved to Japan as a teen and didn’t establish close friendships because of her fear of close attachments and yet, now that she was slowly establishing a friendship with all these people, she now finds herself on this predicament that can make or break all ties she tried to form. She was happy, she is happy. But now, looking at the people around the table, she felt that everything will crumble after this farce of dinner is done.

Placing the napkin on the table, she excused herself to go to the washroom. None of the people gave her notice, they are all busy chatting with each other, and Momo felt like how she felt how she always felt: that she doesn’t exist. But today, she welcomed that feeling. She had been waiting to the ground to swallow her from the time Jeongyeon told her friends they are dating.

She washed her face on the sink and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Does she like who she sees? Or does she even know who she really is?

She sighed and went to a cubicle to relieve herself when she heard some voices outside the bathroom window and she cannot help but gasp upon hearing their conversation.

“So.. You didn’t mention a girlfriend Jeong..” Momo recognized Ji Hyo’s voice.

“Oh, we just recently got together…”

“How recent is recent? We just chatted last week and you never mentioned a girlfriend. Nayeonie didn’t too.”

“Well, Momo just wanted to stay lowkey.”

“I bet she does.”

“No really! This is the first time I told everybody about us... Momo wanted to wait at least three months.”

“Hmmm. She’s nice I guess..albeit a little different from the usuals.” Momo heard that little emphasis on the words “different” and “usuals”.

“Hmmm, how so?”

“She’s not as pretty! You got tired of pretty girls?”

Jeongyeon laughed. “Of course not! But Momo is kind, and hardworking, Hyo.”

“So does any other student out there. Honestly, you could have someone better.”

She could hear the smirk on Jeong’s face. “Yeah? Who?”

“Well, me, for instance.”

A pause, then Jeong laughed. “ Of course, you are Hyo. You are not god Ji Hyo for nothing! Top of her class, Student Council President, best in singing, what else you cannot do?”

A pause. “I’m serious. Nayeonie told me… how you felt for me.”

Silence.

Momo doesn’t know how long she held her breath. Jeongyeon had feelings for ji Hyo? Her chest tightened. When? What happened? Why are not they together? Did Jeongyeon lie to her and she’s not single? She strained to hear what her girlfriend has to say but she was not prepared when she heard it.

“And yet you chose to leave.”

“You know it’s my dream to be a journalist…”

“So how does this…this confession change everything? You will still leave tomorrow, you will still choose your career?”

“What if I move back here, Wannie? I will apply in the local TV station… we could pick up where we left off. “ Ji Hyo’s tone is pleading.

Silence. A long silence.

Momo couldn’t take it anymore, she went out of the cubicle and went to the sink. Her heartfelt heavy and she found herself having trouble breathing. It’s true that eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves and now, Momo felt her heart-shattering. The fact that Jeongyeon was not able to answer for a very long time meant she was seriously contemplating it. So where does that leave her?

Just then, Tzuyu entered the washroom seeing her wet face and the story state of her appearance.

“Momo-unnie! Are you alright? No scratch that, you don’t look okay. Why don’t I take you home?”

“But Jeong..."

“She’s busy with her friends.”

“Tzu..I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know the whole story but you got to fix yourself. Don’t let those people outside treat you like sh*t.”

Those words made Momo tear up. Tzuyu does not mince her words, but the tall maknae looks after her in her own way. Momo dried her face and fix her hair. She straightened up her back and told herself a line from a Disney film she watched: conceal it, don’t feel it.

Tzuyu went ahead and Momo heard her talked to Nayeon.

“Ms. Im, we will go first. I’ll take Momo-ssi home, she seems not to be feeling very well.”

Nayeon raised an eyebrow at Momo but worriedly at Tzuyu.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Please just tell Miss Yoo we went first and cannot wait for her.”

MiSana both gave her a stink eye and but Momo could not blame them. She will just talk to them tomorrow to explain.  She looked at the floor and bowed at the people at the table and they both went out without looking back.

Without anyone to talked to, Nayeon went to find her other two friends. She found them in the garden, discussing something serious based on both of their expressions. But none of them were talking so  Nayeon approached them.

“Jeong, Momo already went ahead, Tzuyu took her home. Said she’s not feeling well.”

“I can’t believe she left without telling me…”

Nayeon shrugged.

“And you want a girlfriend like that? If I were in your shoes, I’ll tell her place.”

“Hyo…”

“I tell you, there’s something weird about that girl.”

“She’s normal, Ji, except for her love for jokbal.”

“I can’t put my finger on it, but it seems like I have seen her somewhere before…before today I mean.”

“You do police beats Hyo? Momo is harmless, the girl is literally a baby—watches Disney, loves Barbie and stuff.”

“Hmmm…”

“I hope you both would like her…For me. Please?”

Ji Hyo sighed. “I’ll try. No promises.”

“Not good enough.”

Nayeon and Ji Hyo looked at each other. “Well, I can tolerate Hirai…”

Ji hyo hung her head. “Okay. I’ll try too.”

Jeongyeon hugged both of them. “Thank you, thank you!!”

To Jeong’s happiness, she didn’t see Hyo’s crossed fingers on her back.

--

Momo caught Mina in her locker after two days of looking for the girl who was obviously avoiding her.

“Mina, can you spare me a minute? Please… just let me explain.”

Mina shut her locker and looked angrily at her. “For what? For ditching my recital? or for keeping that you and Jeongyeon are dating?”

“Because we are supposed to, you get to know each other first, and will tell everybody after three months but she told you guys so I couldn’t do anything about it!”

Mina was silent for a while. “I cannot believe it…you and Jeongyeon..when she’s the one who bullied you the most.”

“She apologized for it, Minari…”

“And you just forgave her like that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? She apologized sincerely.”

“That’s the problem with you, you are too softhearted! How would you know she’s not going to hurt you?”

Momo remembered how Jeongyeon grabbed her arm and raised her voice on the court when she arrived late for her game. No, Jeong was just upset that time, that’s all. She wouldn’t hurt her intentionally, would she?

Momo sighed. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner Minari and I’m sorry for not staying for your recital...I know I promised and yet… I didn’t expect that the schedule would overlap like that…”

“What could I still do? You obviously made a choice and that choice was not me.”

“Minari, it’s not like that…”

“It was easy for you to choose Jeongyeonnie who hurt you countless times, but not me, who had always neem there from you from the start!”

Momo was taken aback by Mina’s outburst.

“Mina…”

“I like you okay? And I was taking it slow, you know? We being friends, getting to know each other! I thought I had time on my side, but I guess I am wrong. I didn’t see it coming, since you never mentioned Jeongyeonnie!”

Momo stepped towards Mina and wanted to comfort the girl but Mina shied away.

“I—I’m sorry Minari…I...I didn’t know.”

“That’s okay Momo, it was my fault anyway. Expecting you could like me more than as a friend…” Mina smiled sarcastically and walked away.

“I wish you the best Momo…and I hope Jeong would always choose you…because I would if I could.”

  ---

Ji Hyo was walking around the campus looking for Jeongyeon when she saw Sana on the parking lot sitting on her motorcycle, texting.

“Sana-yah! Have you seen Jeong?”

“I haven’t. But maybe she has a class? So she’s probably on their building?”

“Oh, I see. By the way Sana, what can you say about Jeong’s girlfriend?”

Sana’s eyebrow shot up. “Momo? Well, she’s quiet, I guess. She always falls asleep in our Socio class because of her part-time. She’s always tired but she studies hard despite that.”

“What is her part-time?”

Sana shrugged. “I don’t know. She mostly keeps to herself.”

“I see. But you two are close? Did she go to your play right? I bumped unto her…”

“Well, we had dinner before…”

Ji Hyo’s eyes widened. “Just the two of you?”

“Uhm, yeah. We kinda bumped to each other so we ate dinner together…”

“But you didn't know she’s dating Jeong?”

“I didn’t see them together at the campus, no.”

“So you were surprised too?”

Sana raised her eyebrows again. Where are these questions leading to? “Why do I feel you are interrogating me Ji Hyo-chan?”

“Of course not, my dear Sana-yah. You know me, I am always curious, that’s all. I’ll see you later, will find Jeong first. Thanks for everything, Sanake. I know I could always count on you.” Ji Hyo winked at her and Sana was left wondering what Ji Hyo had meant.

---

When Jeongyeon had arrived at school the next day, she noticed a lot of students were staring at her. Feeling conscious, she smoothened her hair. Okay, so she was not able to take a bath that morning because she was late and maybe her hair is sticking in different directions. She checked her outfit, no holes or stains so she gave people a confused stare. Some girls whispered and giggled to each other and it irked her. She walked faster to her class and sat on her chair at the back of the room. Some of her classmates looked at her and whispered to one another, even the boys who are snickering in some kind of an inside joke. She just ignored everybody but after the class and the [professor left, she stood up and looked at her classmates.

“Okay, could you just tell me what’s the tea for today and everybody is talking about me?”

“Oh, you haven’t seen it yet? It’s been the talk of the town since morning.”

“See what?”

“Well Yoo…it’s been spread out that you and Hirai are dating…”

Jeongyeon’s heart lurched. How did they know?

She smiled weakly. “Oh, yeah? So how did you guys know about that?”

“I can’t believe it at first because well, you are Yoo Jeongyeon, one of the most famous girl crush on campus. But when I saw it in the chatroom this morning, I understood why you fell for Hirai. Witweew.”

Jeongyeon frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Check the bulletin board, senpai. Or even on the walls of the CRs. Hirai’s secret is there. You really are so lucky!”

“Secret?”

Jeongyeon ran to the hallway and there on the bulletin board is a print-out of an online article. She pulled it off the wall ad she cannot believe what she read.

Yumi Kisaki: Hiding in Plain sight in IPU.
and under the headline is the picture of Kisaki Yumi on the catwalk side by side by side with the picture of Momo wearing her wide-rimmed glasses and university uniform.

Momo…is Yumi??

The write-up under the picture is about how Hirai Momo who started modeling in Japan for numerous men’s magazines had landed a job for Victoria’s Secret in Korea and disguising as a nerdy student in their university. Along with the article is that semi- photo of Momo from one of her early days as a model (the same picture that Sana found from a magazine) which was taken when she was sixteen.

Jeongyeon didn’t know she was trembling after she read the poster. She read it once, twice, thrice. Just to make sure there’s no mistake somewhere. How didn’t Jeongyeon make the connection when she met Yumi? How can her girlfriend hid this from her?”

“Captain!” Yeji broke her incoherent string of thoughts. She stared blankly at Yeji. Yeji had to shake her lightly. “Are you alright? I took down the posters that I saw but the link for the online tabloid is already spread out on lots of chat groups!”

Jeongyeon snapped back to reality. Momo. Where is she? Has she already seen this?

“Yeji, please tell the team to remove all the posters that you can see, I’ll go and find Momo!”

As Jeongyeon ran towards Momo’s building, anger and fear gnawed at her chest. Momo, her sweet Momo is a model, a y model at that. How in the world did that happen? Jeong clenched her jaw. Why does she always fall for girls like her? First was Ji Eun, then there’s Ji Hyo, and now, Momo.

No, Momo is different!

Or is she?