Unfortunately so, the weather seemed to match the atmosphere perfectly between you two. Suddenly, from a perfectly clear sky, it began to rain. That little scene you pulled a while ago really exhausted you but at least you’re finally inside your apartment now so you could rest. You’re curled up into a ball with a mug of hot chocolate in your hands, a fuzzy blanket wrapped around you.

You’re peering out the window, watching the raindrops pelting at your window pane. You loved the rain. The sound soothes you, even the smell. You find comfort in it and honestly, you couldn’t ask for a better weather for today. You inhaled deeply and squeezed the mug in your hands before taking a small sip. As much as you want to be left alone after what just happened, Wonwoo really thought otherwise.

He didn’t want to leave you. He’s right there with you, sitting beside you and looking at you worriedly. Admittedly, you thought it was really sweet that he still wanted to make sure you’re okay but you really wished he just left when you said you’d be fine. You wished he didn’t have to push it and just gave you some space for a while.

There’s a silence between you two, safe for the faint sound of the rain outside. It didn’t exactly feel awkward but it wasn’t what you’d call a comfortable one either. There was a certain type of tension in the air around you. It was thick, palpable almost.

You let out a small sigh. “Stop looking at me like that…” you murmured, still looking out the window. Wonwoo, who’s just been staring at you all this time, blinked. “Huh?” is all he managed to say. You turned slightly so that you’re facing the front and took another sip of your hot chocolate. “You’re looking at me as if I have only a few minutes left to live…”

“Yah…” Wonwoo weakly scolded, frowning. You chuckled to yourself. You put down the mug on your lap and finally turned to face him. “You know you don’t have to really stay, right? I can handle myself…” That was probably the nicest way you could put it. You didn’t want him here and you hoped he got the message but then he says, “But I want to stay here… And it’s pouring outside. I can’t go home yet.”

He said it with such finality in his tone that you could only purse your lips, unable to argue. You sighed and replied with a soft, “Okay then…”  You’re both into silence again. You stared at each other, neither one of you not knowing what to say at the moment.

You felt the tension thicken and as a form of escape, you tried to turn away and look out the window but then Wonwoo cleared his throat. “Are you…” he so tentatively started. He his bottom lip in a nervous gesture before he continued saying, “…okay?” You couldn’t help but flinch a tiny bit. Of all the things he could’ve asked…

“Do I really have to answer that?” you said instead, making a face at him. A small frown tugged on his lips and he lowered his head. “I’m sorry… I just don’t know what to do…” He sounded really disappointed with himself, feeling as though he’s failed at being your best friend and seeing him like that really tugged at your heart strings.

As hurt as you still are, you just couldn’t help but melt at the fact that he’s cares so much for you, that he indeed has a weak spot for you. A soft, thankful smile graced your lips as you rested a reassuring hand on his knee. “You don’t have to do anything,” you told him with all the sincerity you could muster but he still wouldn’t take it.

“Of course I should. I’m your best friend. I should comfort you,” he replied a little stubbornly, pouting. You inwardly sighed in defeat and chuckled at him for being so endearing.  “That’s kind of a hard thing to do if you’re the reason I’m hurting, don’t you think?”

He opened his mouth, ready to counter back but then he realized that you were right and ended up closing his mouth shut. He couldn’t think of a good reply to that so instead, he frowned yet again. His shoulders deflated and his eyes dropped to the floor, looking guilty and most likely feeling that way too. You shook your head at him fondly.

“I’m only joking. Take it easy,” you assured in a calming tone. You stretched your lips into a small smile and put your mug down on the coffee table with a deep sigh. You really didn’t think this would happen if you confessed. You thought that right then and there, he would’ve rejected you and stopped being your best friend but you’re apparently wrong.

It just that… You know Wonwoo very well.  He’s blunt and kind of harsh sometimes. To him, a no is a no. He’s always firm with his decisions. He doesn’t second guess or doubt. He always knew what he was doing but right now… You’re not sure if he does. He seemed lost. For probably the first time in his life, he was unsure.

You looked at him, examining his face and searching his eyes. He looked very troubled, very uneasy and somewhat sad too. All thanks to your dumb self for accidently confessing to him. Well, it’s not like you knew he was going to go back… He already left. You saw him leave with your own eyes. You didn’t mean for him to overhear you pour heart out like that. You didn’t mean to make him feel this way.

For some weird and twisted reason, you now have that urge to comfort him and make him feel better. You flashed the most genuine smile you could muster and reached out to hold his face. “Your eyes says it all, Jeon Wonwoo. Don’t stress over this. Everything will be alright.” You your eyes strayed away for a moment.

You wanted to look convincing but even you knew that the sadness in your eyes is too evident. “Just… don’t worry about me too much.” He just stared at you, searching your eyes. He knew you were trying and he tried too. He tried hard to smile back as genuinely as well but only the faintest of smiles appeared on his face.

He rubbed his cheek against your palm and closed his eyes, breathing in slowly. Your pained heart fluttered almost instantly. God, you hated it. He literally just broke your heart in a million pieces yet each piece seemed to still beat like crazy for him. 

Slowly, you dropped your hand and lie down on the couch in a fetal position. You pulled your fuzzy blanket up to your chin and buried half your face into a soft couch cushion. You took a deep breath to calm your heart down.

Unknown to you, Wonwoo blinked in surprise and felt something weird stir inside of him. You would always, always lie down on his lap whenever you get the chance… It was odd. This was so trivial. This shouldn’t be a big deal at all but he can’t help it. He felt like he was the one being rejected here…

It was starting to get unbearably quiet again so you decided to throw another playful joke. “You should play some of your ballads now. It’s perfect for the weather and my mood.” Wonwoo called your name in warning and you giggled. “Fine, I’ll stop joking around. Can we at least watch a movie or something?” you suggested just so you don’t have to fall into a pit of silence again.

Wonwoo stared at you for a moment, expecting you to notice and look at him as well but your eyes were closed as you waited for him to reply. With an inward sigh, he said, “Okay… what do you want to watch?” He got up to reach for the remote just as you responded with, “The notebook? I don’t know… Anything sad, I guess? So I can continue crying.”

Wonwoo paused from picking it up just to give you a look. And again, you giggled. “I’m kidding! Let’s watch Mulan.” Wonwoo nodded, sitting back down on the couch and turning on the TV. He went to Netflix and quickly typed in the title.

Once the movie started playing, Wonwoo put the remote on the coffee table and lied down behind you, squeezing himself in the little space there. He wrapped his arms around your waist on instinct and rested his head on top of yours. You nervously nibble on your bottom lip all of a sudden. He was cuddling you and that’s completely normal, or at least it used to be…

Now… it was honestly making you feel uncomfortable. You didn’t know how to tell him... It’s just way too normal for it to suddenly be a problem but considering what just happened... You don’t know. You shifted a little, trying to just ignore it but then he suddenly tightened his hold around you. He turned his head slightly so that his nose was in your hair, his lips on your temple.

You stayed completely still then. You tried. You tried so hard not to let something this small affect you but your eyes just won’t stop stinging. You just couldn’t handle it anymore. You clenched your jaw and shut your eyes tightly to collect yourself for a moment. Then you sat up. Wonwoo, who was actually starting to fall asleep, quickly sat up as well. “Is there something wrong? Are you okay?”

The alarm in his voice was evident. You can’t believe he thought something bad happened when really, you were just overreacting suddenly being awkward with him. You turned to him, willing yourself to just tell him what was wrong but the moment you met his eyes, the words seemed to get stuck in your throat. “I—” you bit down hard on your lip and looked down.

“What’s wrong?” he asked one more time, his brows furrowing in worry. You swallowed hard, lowering your head a little as you forced the words, “I’m not comfortable with this,” out of your mouth. Slowly, hesitantly, you lifted your head and looked into his eyes. You weren’t sure how he was going to take it. You saw him blink at you. You saw the surprise in his eyes and just like that, you felt guilty for what you just said.

Wonwoo replied with a measly, “Oh.” He apologized straight away for making you feel uncomfortable and moved so that he was sitting on the far end of the couch. There was a pinch in his chest. You admitting that you’re not comfortable with him like this… kind of hurts.

He looked rather upset now but there wasn’t much you can do. You can’t just take back your words and put yourself in a difficult position like that. So you lied back down and continued to watch your favorite Disney film. Wonwoo tried to do the same but not being able to touch you made him really fidgety. Tentatively, he let you rest your feet on his lap.

You didn’t protest to that so he felt a sense of relief wash over him and he began to relax. He was unconsciously massaging your calves while watching, wanting to just feel you in some type of way. You didn’t mind. You very much liked the soothing feeling too, so much so that your eyelids gradually became heavy and not long after, you fell asleep.

When the rain seemed to have stopped and the movie was about to end, Wonwoo decided that he should probably go home.  When he looked at you, about to tell you that he was leaving, he noticed that the blanket was covering your face. He pulled the blanket down gently to check if you were asleep and true enough, you really were.

He chuckled silently, finally breaking into a smile that wasn’t forced. Not wanting to disturb you, he very carefully put your feet down and got up. He fixed the blanket, making sure you’re warm and tucked in nicely. He then squatted down in front of you and stared at you for a moment.

As he was brushing some stray strands of hair out of your face, he began to realize just how precious you really are to him.  When he saw you cry, his chest clenched so much he thought he wouldn’t be able to breathe. He wanted to cry too. It was painful to watch and he didn’t know at all what to do. It’s even worse that it was because of him. He’ll probably be guilty about this for a very long time.

Sighing, Wonwoo caressed your cheek with his thumb and looked at you a while longer. You looked so peaceful, so beautiful but your eyes were puffy, reminding him just how much you were crying a while ago, how hurt you were because of him. He heaved a deep sigh and leaned in to drop a kiss on your head. He closed his eyes briefly and breathed in your scent. Then he stood up, shoved his hands into his pockets and finally left.

He was pretty much out of it since. It was as if he was on auto-pilot. He was just stuck in his thoughts, his mind whirling. When he got out of your apartment complex, to his luck, it started to rain again. If he wasn’t so preoccupied right now, he would’ve already cursed and started to run for shelter but all he did was look up at the gray skies and let the droplets fall on his face.

When the rain poured harder, he simply closed his eyes and dropped his head but he still didn’t move from his spot. His own apartment wasn’t that far from yours which is why he didn’t bring his car. He also didn’t think of bringing an umbrella down with him because he thought the rain wouldn’t come back.

Without much of a choice, Wonwoo just walked back to his apartment in the pouring rain. He was drenched and freezing but despite his unfortunate condition, he kind of liked it. Because then, he had some time to really think of things. He realized he had a lot to think about.

In his head, he had a lot of questions for himself. Did he like you? Ever? Or was he really just lusting over you since you have good ? He was attracted to you physically, that’s something he would admit but what about emotionally? Wonwoo heaved a frustrated sigh. It was getting too confusing.

It was Monday the next day, unfortunately so. When you realized that Wonwoo had already left yesterday, you didn’t really move from the couch and ended up just sleeping there for the night too. You had quite a turbulent sleep last night. You were just suddenly attacked by all your memories with him. You ended up crying yourself to sleep thinking that your friendship will now change for the worst.

In the morning, you woke up with your head slightly pounding from lack of sleep and from crying too much. You could barely open your eyes too. They were too swollen. There was a dull ache in your chest. You felt hollow. You felt unmotivated.

You obviously weren’t in the best mood so you thought of ditching school and moping around all day long but then you remembered you had two quizzes today. They would take up a huge percentage of your grade so you have no choice but to go. After dragging yourself around trying your best to get ready, you eventually made it to your university.

You heaved a deep sigh as you lazily walked to your second class of the day, your third cup of coffee in your hand. You thought the caffeine would help you feel better or at least boost up your energy but you’re still feeling down and you had no idea how you were going to make it through today really.

Everything just feels so heavy at the moment. Still, you’re trying your very best. You were peacefully walking with your eyes glued to the ground, seriously just minding your own damn business when some idiot ran into you and almost made you drop your coffee.

You looked up and immediately showed your displeasure with a scowl, only to blink in surprise because the said idiot that bumped into you was actually your friend from high school, Mingyu. He was laughing at his childish little prank alongside Hansol, another dear friend of yours.

“Really? You couldn’t just come up to me and properly say hi?” you told them, only slightly annoyed by their childishness. “Where’s the fun in that?” Hansol laughed more teasingly. You narrowed your eyes at him, making a motion of spilling your coffee on him. He so swiftly dodged and of course, stuck his tongue out at you.

“Anyways,” Mingyu interrupted with a roll of his eyes. “You up for a late lunch later? We’re free by 1:30 pm. What about you?” You pursed your lips in thought. Mingyu and Hansol have the same major as Wonwoo. It’s only the four of you in the entire gang that decided to go to the same university so you guys usually try to hang out as often as you can.

They pretty much had the same classes too so even if Wonwoo isn’t here with them right now, you’re sure he’d be there for the lunch later and you don’t know what to feel about that. After yesterday, you honestly don’t think you could be around him for a long while. The wound was just too fresh at the moment. You needed time.

With a puff of your cheeks, you told them you weren’t too sure if you could tag along. They frowned almost immediately after you hearing you say that. “For real? Are you that busy?” You didn’t really tell them the reason why you didn’t want to go but since they suggested it, you kind of just went with it and nodded your head

“Aw, c’mon! Just this once? You know we barely hang out anymore because of school. Please?” Hansol begged, his hands clasped together and lip jutted out in a pout. The boy was only a few months younger than you but you really have a soft spot for the younger members of your clique and couldn’t help but rethink your decision.

You bit down on your bottom lip, still not sure. Maybe if Wonwoo wasn’t going then you’d agree? It’s a long shot but you tried anyway. You quickly shifted the topic for a moment and asked where your best friend was. “Oh right! Wonwoo’s sick today. I think he’s in the infirmary,” Mingyu said, rubbing at his neck.

You don’t know what came over you but hearing that, you immediately replied with, “So he’s not joining us, right?” Hansol and Mingyu ended up looking at you weirdly. “What? Of course, he’d be there… Why would… Wait— Aren’t you worried? Shouldn’t you be running to the infirmary to check up on him by now?” Mingyu muttered, suddenly so confused.

It was true… if this were just an ordinary day and you were both still okay, you really would’ve bolted to the infirmary to make sure he was doing fine or ask if he needed anything so you could bring it to him but today isn’t exactly an ordinary day for you… and you two weren’t exactly okay either. “Did you two fight or something?”

You blinked, a little taken aback by Hansol’s question. You were about to open your mouth to say something but then he continued on and said, “Is that why you didn’t want to have lunch with us? Because he’d be there? Why?” Hansol really threw those questions at you in a single breath that you were too overwhelmed to come up with a reply.

You instead just kept quiet and avoided their eyes. Luckily, before the two could interrogate you, you saw your professor in the distance. You now had an excuse to escape the situation. “My professor’s coming,” you announced softly. “I have to go… I’m really sorry but I can’t have lunch with you guys later.” You gave them an apologetic look before walking away.

“Aren’t you going to go see Wonwoo at least?” Mingyu hollered at your retreating figure. You stopped in your tracks for a moment. Slowly, you turned around and bit your lower lip doubtfully. “Later…” is all you could say. You didn’t see it but the boys looked at you with confusion written on their faces. Almost immediately, they knew that something was most definitely wrong between you and Wonwoo.

After taking some medicine and resting for a while in the clinic, Wonwoo finally felt a little better. He already saw this coming since he did walk all the way home in the pouring rain yesterday but he didn’t think much of it until today. He was coughing a lot and his head was still aching.

Since he came out by the time that their class ended, Wonwoo just met up with the boys outside their room. He muffled a cough with his fist and said, “So where to? I kinda want something hot to eat. Like soup maybe?” He was too preoccupied thinking of a good place to eat and coughing that he didn’t notice the bothered look on his friends’ faces.

Instead of answering him, Mingyu asked if you possibly stopped by to check up on him in clinic. Wonwoo only shook his head. “Or I don’t know… I was asleep so…” The two completely ignored that. “Are you two fighting or something? What the hell did we miss?” Wonwoo furrowed his brows at Hansol, not sure why he was suddenly asking him this. “No? Why do you ask?”

Mingyu and Hansol just exchanged looks, making Wonwoo feel more anxious than he should. When the two didn’t say anything and instead just looked at each other as if they were having a conversation with their eyes, Wonwoo grew impatient and went, “What? What’s going on?”

“Well...” Hansol trailed and scratched his head. He didn’t really know how to put it. He didn’t know how he could say it without making Wonwoo feel bad. Disheartened, he looked at Mingyu for some help.  The taller male didn’t really think much and said, “We asked her if she wanted to join us for a late lunch and she said she couldn’t go.”

Wonwoo raised an eyebrow at that. “Okay… so?” Now it was Mingyu’s turn to look at Hansol for help. The younger male just sighed. Guess he still has to be the one to break it to Wonwoo. “First of all, don’t overreact, okay?” he started, not really helping since Wonwoo was already so impatient.

“She said she couldn’t go but it seemed as though she didn’t want to go because… of you. Like, she didn’t want to join us knowing you’d be there too…” Wonwoo fell silent. He didn’t know what to say or how to even react to that.

It was then that the two regretted even mentioning anything. Still, it’s not like they meant to make him upset. They just wanted to know what the hell was up with them. They were both their friends and they were concerned. Though, they did admit that maybe that wasn’t the best way to approach Wonwoo about it.

After several excruciating beats of silence, the three of them finally decided to get a move on and go for that late lunch. Hansol and Mingyu tried really hard to make the atmosphere lighter between them but Wonwoo really was upset. It didn’t help that he was already unwell to begin with. His sickness just made him even more sensitive.

Finished with their little lunch outside, they went their separate ways for free period. Mingyu was on his way to his apartment to nap while Hansol went to the library to finish an assignment. Wonwoo, on the other hand, was going round campus looking for you.

He texted you several times but you didn’t reply to any of his messages when before, you replied to him as quickly as you could if not right away. He was getting pissed by now so he ended up calling you instead. Still, you didn’t answer. “You’re ing kidding me…” he cursed under his breath. He ran a frustrated hand over his hair and angrily stuffed his phone into his pocket.

He thought of places that he might find you and went to each one but so far, he hasn’t seen you yet. Wonwoo was fuming. He didn’t even know why. He was upset with you, that’s for sure but now he was just plain pissed. He didn’t understand what the was going on with him.

He didn’t even blatantly reject you. He stayed with you to make sure you were okay for ’s sake but why are you pushing him away like this? It’s not like he meant to not like you back. He himself was getting confused now too. Why are you doing this to him?

Finally, after almost an hour of walking around looking for you, he found you in an empty classroom with your ears plugged. You seemed to be studying while listening to music so you didn’t noticed him at all when he walked in. It was only when he harshly took one earphone out of your ear that you knew he was there.

Surprised, you turned to him and went, “Oh, Wonwoo. What are you doing here?”  You could see Wonwoo’s jaw clenching. He looked mad and it kind of scared you. “I’ve been texting and calling you for the past ing hour. Didn’t you notice?” he hissed. You dropped your gaze in an instant and nervously your lip.

Truth is… of course, you noticed. You just didn’t reply or answer the call on purpose because you knew he was looking for you. You didn’t want to lie but you didn’t want to tell the truth either. You decided just kept your mouth shut. You really didn’t expect for things to go this far… All you wanted was some space… You just wanted to breathe.

“Is it true? You passed on Sol and Gyu inviting you for lunch because I would be there?” You couldn’t help but flinch at the volume he was using. You felt as though you were being attacked all of a sudden and you didn’t know how to defend yourself. When you still couldn’t seem to say anything, Wonwoo scoffed at you.

“What the is your problem, huh? Say something! Stop being a coward.” At that, you felt a little offended and your blood started to boil. “What’s your problem? Why are you suddenly yelling at me like this?” Wonwoo slammed his hands on the desk you’re sitting on. “Answer the ing question. What are you trying to do here?”

You took a deep breath, your hands tightly balled into fists. Your nose was stinging and you could feel your tears burning in your eyes. You can’t believe Wonwoo is being like this right now. Why was he so ing mad? Couldn’t he just slow down and talk to you properly? You understood that he was upset but this… this is too much.

“So what if I didn’t go? Am I not allowed to?” you yelled right back at him though your voice cracked a tiny bit. You were at the verge of tears and Wonwoo was too enraged to notice.  “You are… But you didn’t have to ing rub it in my face that you’re just going to avoid me like that!”

You couldn’t take it anymore. Your tears finally fell. You shot up from your seat, about to retaliate but then he says something that felt as though he drove a stake right to your heart. “Last time I checked, you’re the one who likes me and to tell you the ing truth, I should be the one avoiding you!”

You took in a shaky breath, your vision blurring at the fresh tears sitting in your eyes. “Wow…” you murmured, scoffing a little. You immediately packed your things to get the hell out of there. You didn’t want to be in the same room as him right now. You didn’t want to see his ing face.

“You’re being such an right now, Jeon Wonwoo. I don’t even know what to say to you.” You pushed him out of your way and stomped out the room, harshly wiping at your wet cheeks.  It was only then that everything he did, the way he behaved and the words he said, started to sink in.

Wonwoo shut his eyes tight and pinched the bridge of his nose. He messed up. He messed up big time. He want to ing punch himself in the face. Why was he was acting up?  He was upset, yes but he didn’t have to explode like that and say such hurtful things.

He hasn’t even made it clear yet if that was even your real reason and even if it was… Shouldn’t he understand? He knows what’s going on between you two. He knows what you’re going through… but why is he like this? “!” he cursed in in frustration and angrily kicked a desk.

He finally ran after you. It was a good thing you haven’t gone too far yet. He was still able to catch up to you. Gently, he grabbed you by the arm and turned you around. “I didn’t mean what I said! I’m sorry!” he desperately said, holding your arms tightly.

He was pleading you with his eyes. The regret and guilt was evident in them but you were too angry and hurt right. You harshly shrugged his hands off of you and yelled, “ off, Wonwoo!” You didn’t care about all the eyes that stared at you. You just fixed your bag strap on your shoulder and briskly walked away.

| Author’s Note |

Oh, no :(

What’s happening to these best friends?

Things seem to be… falling apart D:

The comment section is free for you to give Wonwoo a piece of your mind!

Go rant and scold him grrr >:(