LIM  JAEBEOM

 

He was looking at the plane window next to him. He still can't believe his fiancee finally persuade him to come back to Korea so they can do their small engangement party. The said fiancee who already went to Korea one month earlier (so he can mingle with your family). He also cant belive he is engange after 4 years.

He meet his fiancee at one of his friends party (yeah cliché). The grumpy Jaebeom who is not only a writer but also a lecturer teaching Korean languange at a local college  just finished marking his student paper and really feel gloomy until one of his friend Bambam (don’t ask me why his name Bambam) come knocking at his apartment and dragging him out to the party.

Jaebeom never hate party but he is also not fond of it. He is just standing still at one corner when someone say hello.

“Hello!”

Jaebeom who not only cant hear because of the loud music but also he might be a little intoxicated to exactly listen or read the strangers lips.

“What?” Jaebeom yell

“I SAID HELLO!”

“Ahhhh, hello!” Jaebeom

“Are you alone?”

“I cant hear you!” Jaebeom

Suddenly the said stranger pull his wrist and bring him outside.

“Why are you bring me out?” Jaebeom

“I wanted to talk to you. My name Jackson. Wang Jackson.” Jackson

“Jaebeom. Lim Jaebeom.” Jaebeom

“Yeah I know.” Jackson said while shyly rub his neck

“Excuse me?” Jaebeom

“Actually, I know Bambam. He is one of my friend friends.” Jackson

“So?” Jaebeom

“Ahh sorry if  I am not clear enough. I ask my friend to finds someone to teach me Korean languange.” Jackson

“I see. You wanted my help?” Jaebeom

“Yeah I am trying to get Korean citizenship. So I hope you can help me.” Jackson

“You are not Korean?” Jaebeom

“No. I half Korean half Chinese but born at New York and my family decided to moved to Korea so yeah I also think to stay there. I love it there.” Jackson

“You have been to Korea?” Jaebeom

“Of course. We always go there every holiday.” Jackson

“I see, no wonder you don’t have slang when you talk in Korean.” Jaebeom

“Yeah my speech is fine but my writing is blerghhh. You need to tutor me.”  Jackson

“Okay. I can do that.” Jaebeom

“Thank you!.” Jackson said than hug Jaebeom

Jaebeom was surprise by the hug but he do not hate it. Its been a year since he left Korea to moved to New York so he can move from his sad past. Yes he feel betrayed and the first month is the worse. He need to prepare all the document while hiding from his ex fiancee (its not that hard when the said person did not come and reach to him). He also need to prepare the examination when he was offered a job to teach at some local college and also his favorite publisher actually find him a really great projet that is to collaborate a new books with his favorite writers and this is also the reason why he need to move to New York.

Jaebeom and Jackson become close in such a short time. Jackson is really an easygoing guy who always hug someone as a sign of saying hello. Jaebeom never complain about Jackson hugging and that make Bambam whine because the other day Bambam put his hand on Jaebeom shoulder for a balance and the said man pushed him away that make Bambam fall.

Jaebeom like the warm feeling Jackson always give whenever he with Jackson. Yes he also can see a few little flirting Jackson throw at him but Jaebeom just ignore him. Jaebeom already comfortable with his friendship with Jackson.

Jaebeom like being Jackson friends but one day after they having a congratulatory party as Jackson strive with flying colours for his writing examination. Jaebeom was surprise by the sudden kissing on his lips. The kissing not only surprise Jaebeom but also the kisser, Jackson.

Jackson did not talk with him for 2 days. Until the third day he call Jaebeom asking to meet each other. Jackson apologize because of his behaviour. He was drunk and also he found Jaebeom lips so kissable that night.

 Jaebeom just chuckle and accept Jackson apology (he baked Jaebeom a chocolate cake with strawberry on top).

 

“Please wear your safety belts. We are gonna land in a few minutes.” the voice of the stewardess awake Jaebeom from his memory of how he meet Jackson.

Jaebeom is actually afraid to comeback to Korea after 4 years leaving without comeing back at all. He paid his parent flight tickets whenever he missess his parents. He don’t know why but he actually scared if he comeback alone he will definitely go back to his fiancee, ex fiancee.

Flashback 4 years ago,

Jaebeom trying to write one paragraph to describe about his main character feelings after the hearbroken situation with the lover but Jaebeom don’t know how to make it sad or angsty. He already read a lot of heartbroken novel and he actually crying when he finishes one of the book. So he wanted his future reader to cry when he read his work but urghhh he don’t know how to do this.

He stand up and streches a little. He can hear Nora meowing and he also can look at the cat who is in the kitchen counter. Jaebeom went to the kitchen and fetch Nora.

“You hungry baby?” Jaebom

Nora purr.

“Sorry, I am so focused writing and forgot to give you food.” Jaebeom

Jaebeom look at the watch and gasp.

“Its already 1 am? And your appa still not here yet? Nora do you think he cheating on me? He rarely comeback home early and went to the work early in the morning. Without complaining!” Jaebeom

Nora meowing

“Yeah I am silly right? Your appa never do that. He love me that much.” Jaebeom

There is a ping sound from Jaebeom phone. A message from Jinyoung saying he will stay at the office to finished his job.

“Aigooo, look at this. Your appa is so busy. Let us surprise him no?” Jaebeom

Jaebeom pack a few sandwiches with a few bottle of energy drinks and also coffee and went to the law agency that Jinyoung works at. He try to open the door of the company but it was locked.

Weird.

Jaebeom ask one of the guard there if there is someone upstairs but the guards says no one is at the agency at the moment. He was just come back from his nightly check up.

Weird.

Jaebeom bow thank you at the guard and went back home.

Maybe Jinyoung stay at one of his colleague to finishing up their work. Usually he always told Jaebeom if he stay at one of his colleague house. Maybe Jinyoung just forget to mention about it.

Jaebeom try to calm his gut feelings right now. He don’t know why but he don’t really feel good.

Its happen again.

Jinyoung now always stay back at the company. Jaebeom knows he always do that especially when he got new cases. But the weird things is everytime Jaebeom went to visit Jinyoung at his late work. Jinyoung were never there. Sometimes the office is open but there is no Jinyoung while the other time it was close.

Jaebeom suspected something but he still think positively. They were happy right? They rarely fought only a little argument but nothing worse. Jinyoung still give him kissess when he went to work or kiss Jaebeom temple when he is back late at night. So what exactly happen?

Jaebeom hate when someone deceive him especially if Jinyoung the one who deceive him. Jaebeom love Jinyoung and vice versa or maybe Jinyoung was bored with Jaebeom? There have been together when they were 16 and now there are 26 years old. Almost 10 years together and Jaebeom love everything about it.

He ask one of his friend about it.

“Yah,Yoo Youngjae do you listen to what I am saying?” Jaebeom

“Yes Jaebeom I heard and I was baffled by it. You suspect Jinyoug. Park Jinyoung cheating on you? Yah where did you get the idea from? Do you watch some soap opera drama or what? That guy love you and remember he glaring at me when you introduce us together? I am still shaking from the memory.” Youngjae

“Yeah I know, but its weird why he never mention where he sleep or stay at? And he always said he is at the office. Why he lie to me. You know how I feel if someone lie to me?” Jaebeom

“Yes Jaebeom, but be rasional that guy love you so much. He never do that to you.” Youngjae

“I am afraid. You don’t know what I ve feel.” Jaebeom

“Okay how about this. You follow you fiancee one day and see where is he going?” Youngjae

“Maybe.” Jaebeom said while sip his chocolate shake but he only taste something bitter on his mouth.

Jaebeom followed Jinyoung one day. He stay at the coffe shop in front of the agency and waited. He waited until 6pm when he saw his fiancee car went out from the agency parking lot. He ride his bike and follow him.

They arrive at some neighbourhood. Jaebeom never been here. The rich place. He saw Jinyoung went into the parking lot of the apartment. Jaebeom waited there. He wanted to know what exactly happen.

Nothing happen at 3 am Jaebeom saw Jinyoung figures at he was glad. Jaebeom knows he is just thinking too much about this. He wanted to go back so that Jinyoung will never found he leave the studio then suddenly he hear Jinyoung little shout. He wanted to see and help his fiancee but what he see make him ride his bike away from there.

Jaebeom don’t know how he come back home that night with his eyes full of cries. He locked the door and slided down and cry. He never thought that he caught his lover kissing other guy. Not slightly but deeply. He wanted to throws up so he run to the sink in the kitchen and vomits.

He cant believe it and as usual Jinyoung did not comeback home that night.

He was actually thankful for that. He look at the mirror and he look awful. He washes his face and then he saw the ring. His engangement ring that Jinyoung bought (at the secondhand shop because they both is poor student at the time but Jinyoung wanted to do it because he was jealous at all the guys who were keep flirting with Jaebeom).

Jinyoung always wanted to change the ring with a new one but Jaebeom just like this ring. It was so simple but it’s the meaning of Jinyoung love towards Jaebeom. Jaebeom can see how he work hard to save up and buy the rings. Jaebeom try to take off the rings but then he stop.

Jaebeom maybe just misunderstood the situation, he actually cant see the figure clearly so maybe its not Jinyoung?

Yeah, his fiancee never do that. Jaebeom hope everything will be fine.

Its not happening.

Jinyoung still have a few time when he stayback (not as usual as before) but now it was worse. Before he will just stay back but now sometimes when he is already back home he will go back to the agency. Jaebeom know where is he going. He followed Jinyoung one day and found out that Jinyoung went to the same apartment at the rich area.

Jaebeom is not an idiot. He knows what Jinyoung done behind his back. He actually can feel how guilty Jinyoung is. Sometimes he can hear Jinyoung sobbing in the toilet but he just ignore it. He wanted Jinyoung to tell him when he is ready.

But the time never come.

Now, Jinyoung always shower him with a lots of gifts. Jaebeom don’t know why Jinyoung suddenly buy everything he mildly interested in with. One day he just saying he like to moved out from the studio then Jinyoung agree and asking where he wanted to live at. Jaebeom just decline and saying he was joking.

One day Jaebeom try to make Jinyoung confessed or something

“Why are you doing this?” Jaebeom ask him one day.

“Because I love you.” Jinyoung

Yeah right Jaebeom mind snickers. Jinyoung sure love him but he also love being in an embrace of some other guy.

“I know you love me, you don’t need to show it by buying a lot of things. You just need to be truthful to me and everything will be fine.” Jaebeom said while smiling.

Jaebeom said without any expression. He suddenly feel Jinyoung hand on his wrist.

Jinyoung take Jaebeom hand and take it to his heart.

“You always have my heart.” Jinyoung then slowly he take Jaebeom hand and kiss him.

Jaebeom wanted to cry at Jinyoung words and wanted to ask so why you lie to me? He wanted to scream why is Jinyoung lying over and over again. Saying his heart belong to Jaebeom but still doing the late night activity and make Jaebeom feels worthless everytime Jinyoung sent the message to him.

But then he can feel Jinyoung lips on him.

Jinyoung move his lips closer to Jaebeom and kissed him and from a normal sweet kisses its turns into a deep kiss and Jinyoung let out a moan.

“Oh gosh, I just realize that its been a long time we do this.” Jinyoung

Jaebeom realize from his adrenaline and his mind suddenly think about the handsome guy that he saw at the apartment.

Jinyoung try to push Jaebeom down but Jaebeom stop him.

“Not today please.” Jaebeom

“Why?” Jinyoung

Because yesterday you just with the other guy. Jaebeom suddenly remember what happen earlier in the day.

“I just received a call from my publisher thet decline my new drafts for my books and im not in the mood.” Jaebeom

“Ouh babe, sorry about that. I don’t know you already sent your draft to them?” Jinyoung

“I ve told you before.” Jaebeom.

Jaebeom try not to be snarky. He  knows that Jinyoung did not give him any attention when he told him the story.

“Really?” Jinyoung

“Yup.” Jaebeom

“But I can make you in the mood?” Jinyoung smirk.

“Sorry. Just not today okay?” Jaebeom

Jinyoung sigh.

“Fine “ Jinyoung

Jinyoung then heard his phone chirming.

Oh no!  Jaebeom mind try to calm down.

There is a new message. Jinyoung open the message. Jaebeom suddenly spring up and went to the kitchen. He don’t want to see what Jinyoung reaction is. Jaebeom realize he is being watched. Jaebeom just act natural.

 “Sorry babe! I need to go back to the office. My stupid assistant forgot that I need to finished some legal document for the new case.” Jinyoung

Please don’t go!

“Really? At this time? You could just go tomorrow?” Jaebeom

Please don’t go!

“I can’t the dateline is tomorrow at 8 am. I thought that I already finished it but apparently not.” Jinyoung said with his sorry tone

“Okay.” Jaebeom said.

Please don’t go!

Jaebeom don’t know if Jinyoung realize how desperate Jaebeom’s voice sound. He don’t want his fiancee go to the apartment. Jaebeom can see Jinyoung walking toward him.Jaebeom can feel the peck on his mouth and suddenly Jaebeom pull Jinyoung and give him a deep kiss. A kiss that show his desperation. A kiss to make sure Jinyoung will not leave him. A kiss that Jaebeom hope will make Jinyoung stay. Maybe their last kiss.

And after a long time (it’s only a few minutes) Jaebeom leave Jinyoung lips. Jinyoung try to kiss Jaebeom back.

“You need to go right?” Jaebeom said with his choking voice

“Ah yes but we can just do IT now. I think you are in the mood.” Jinyoung trailing Jaebeom necks with kisses.

Jaebeom chuckle.

“No, still not in the mood.” Jaebeom

“Alright, I go now. Will try to comeback tonight or maybe tomorrow night because I maybe stay at the offices if its too late. As usual.” Jinyoung

“As usual.” Jaebeom

When Jinyoung close the door. Jaebeom slided down on the floor.

He wanted to cry but there is no tears at all.

Jaebeom decided, he will leave to make his heart (Jinyoung) happy.

He already contemplate if he should stay and confront Jinyoung or he should just go without the confrontation because he knows he will never strong enough to leave Jinyoung after listening to his reason. Jaebeom is always weaks for Jinyoung and he is sure if Jaebeom just persuade Jaebeom he will stay.

Jaebeom don’t want to stay.

His heart hurting whenever he hear the chirming from Jinyoung phone and eveytime he receive the message from Jinyoung saying he will not come back home he actually can feel his heart being slice.

He moved fast and quickly.

The first thing he do is block Jinyoung from his phone then he takes all his book and put it in a box (that he already prepare a long time ago). He gather all Nora’s toys and foods in one box and he puts all his clothes in his bag (that always be there in the corner of their bedroom).

He determine to leave Jinyoung, to break his engangement. He always think about it but everytime he look at the smile Jinyoung give him and also the kisses, words of love. He selfishly stayed and thinking that maybe Jinyoung will end his night activity and tell Jaebeom that he is sorry and regrets everything and maybe ask for Jaebeom forgiveness.

Jaebeom and Jinyoung always imagine (when they still a student on the rooftoop of  Literature major building) that their marriage ceremony should be a small one with family and a few friends only. Jinyoung with a beige colour suits while Jaebeom with an off white. Jinyoung argued that they should have one of them wear black suits. But both of them don’t want to wear blacks because its gonna be hot (they wanted a summer wedding).  They also imagine having a big buffet with all their favourites food.A lot of strawberry and Jinyoung’s favourites sandwiches. They decided to dance only with one song(the song are not decided yet)  because both of them at it.

Then Jaebeom realize he  hold his ring n his palms. Jaebeom never took off their engangement rings. He love the rings so much now his fingers feels empty and his heart hurt but Jaebeom feels light and he don’t know why but he feel so glad.

He put the ring beside Jinyoung favourite sandwiches and leave.

End of flashback.

 

“Honey!!!!” Jackson

Jaebeom flinched when he listen to Jackson shouting. Suddenly his face feel hot when he saw Jackson with a big “WELCOME BACK HOME HONEY” slogan greeting.

“Jackson! What are you doing?’’Jaebeom

Jackson did not reply and just hug Jaebeom.

“I missed you so much honey.” Jackson

Jaebeom just chuckle. He now knows how clingy Jackson is so he just let it be.

“Done?” Jaebeom ask Jackson when he let Jaebeom go.

“I wanted to do more than that but I know its not appropriate to so..” Jackson said innocently.

Jaebeom push Jaebeom away.

“Yah what are you even thinking huh?” Jaebeom

“Its been month since we last meet how dare you push your fiancee away?” Jackson pout

“Awww my fiancee. I like the sound of it.” Jaebeom

“Right? I love it to!” Jackson.

 

TO BE CONTINUE