Another rough day at work and all she wanted to do is to be at home, cuddled up with the woman she had been falling in love for years and talk about everything on how their day went or if another employee spilt another batch of coffee or had been caught sleeping in their cubicles during working hours, just anything but she finds herself gripping the stirring wheel of her car, starring straight at the dimly lit house in front of her.

She had been parked in front of their house for roughly half an hour but she couldn't get out.. she refuses to get out because if she does, the reality that things have changed would hurt her to every bits and pieces of her being, again.

How long has it been since she had a decent, casual, fun and enjoyable talk with her girlfriend? Three months, and she keeps tab to everything that went on.

The first day of those three months went as per usual but one thing was missing, the spark in her girlfriend's eyes. She thought maybe it was due to exhaustion but a day went on days and days went on weeks and weeks went on months. It used to be just the missing spark in her eyes, but the affection had slowly disappeared. She goes home to a quiet, suffocating house every single day and none of them addressed the elephant in the room.

At least for her, she doesn't want to. 

She's afraid. 

Very scared.

She knows how this goes, she knows the end tale of it and she refuses to accept it.

They had been dating for 8 years, they were both freshmen in college but on top of that, they hated  each other. Jennie hated her guts and she hated Jennie for hating her, not until they went to one frat party of their mutual friends, Jisoo and Chaeyoung. It's not the kiss and make up cringe stuff people would think but she remembers being on the floor, Jennie on top of her and the latter was trying to pull all her hairs out of her scalp. Heck they made a scene. They totally hated each other but that frat party was the main reason why they became civil.

You ask why? Give the crowns to Jisoo and Chaeyoung for literally dragging both of them in a room and scolded the living hell out of their lives. They called them childish, irritating, stupid, and downright petty. They locked them there and refused to set them free until they reconcile.

Since then, Lisa had slowly fallen in love for Jennie and forgot why she hated her in the first place.

Jennie was the first one to confess though when Lisa went out  with one of Jennie's — in Jennie's vocabulary — douchebag blockmates. Jennie went on full rambling to a grinning Lisa that night and the rest is history.

Good times.

Lisa heaves a deep sigh before finally grabbing her bag from the shotgun seat and gets out of the car. Every step she makes feels like another boulder is being dropped on top of her, every step became so heavy and the moment she reached for the doorknob, she's already panting.

Her hand was shaking so bad that she had to use her other one to hold her wrist to keep it steady.

She takes a deep breath, chanting mantras of nothing in her head, forces a smile before finally opening the door.

"Love, I'm home!" she announces and received nothing but a hum from the latter who's in the kitchen, with her back facing Lisa.

Not even a glance, as usual, and Lisa had to heave a quiet and heart breaking sigh.

Lisa stares at Jennie's figure and felt her heart breaks even more because of how Jennie still captivates her in everything she does and yet it's no longer the same thing to the latter. Eight years and Lisa is still so madly in love with Jennie. Eight years and Jennie does not feel the same way anymore.

"I'll go get a shower and change." she finally says after several minutes.

"Hm. I'll get the dinner ready." Jennie replies.

Lisa stares at her own reflection inside the shower cubicle while letting the water flows above her with a slight hope and prayer that maybe the water could wash out all of her fear and her pain.

She fears their future. She fears that after she goes out of this shower, she'd be staring at an empty and lifeless eyes of Jennie. She fears the fact that inside her, she knows their relationship is already unsalvageable. They tried, she tried.. she really did.

And she knows that the pain of losing Jennie will totally destroy her and she will never be ready for that.

As she stares at her own pathetic reflection in the mirror, her breathing becomes une