Chaeyeon doesn't know anymore.

She takes it one moment at a time. The pain surges through her heart and she let it run its course. She doesn't know why but it hurts whenever it pops out in her mind.

"Come here."

Two words. Enough to kill her sanity. For the first time, she didn't try to deny it. It was a memory that lapsed too quickly. A horrible memory.

Her memories would forever remain in her. Forgotten or not but the feeling of that moment would always come back at her, unforgotten.

It is funny actually. She doesn't know the context behind the memory but it was enough to hurt her to this extent.

She was trying to analyze the memory of hers. It seemed like she was trying to kill herself. Albeit she doesn't know why and probably will never will.

Right now, all she wants is to forget that memory. It was taking a toll on her and perhaps Hyewon has already caught up but only respect her privacy. Unfortunately, there was no easy way out for her to shake this feeling.

She wouldn't let Hyewon nor Eunbi see this state of hers. Her mind wouldn't let her. It would only result in her crumbling down.

But eventually, it got to her. It was hard to not shudder every time seeing Hyewon. She won't pretend that the memory triggering exactly the time Hyewon told her those words. It was hard to keep up a facade.

Chaeyeon was terrified. Not of the memory but to herself.

A blank canvas, herself is a blank canvas. Ever since opening her eyes, she doesn't know anything about herself. Name. Hobby. Personality. None of those she knew.

One time she then thought when she was still in physical therapy. What was the point of living if she was empty?

She found the reason through Hyewon. It seems might cheesy. But all she could thought that Hyewon would be sad if she heard this thought of hers. And knowing someone cares for her was all it took to continue living in this nightmare of a life.

Recovering her memories. The answer to her to live heartily. The problem is, as she tries to wander more. All it returns is for her to be more lost.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

"Chaeyeon? What are you doing in my room?" Hyewon rasps still on her dreamy state.

Chaeyeon only knows, she couldn't take it anymore. Her dilemma answer had always been in front of her and that is confrontation.

"Have I ever tried to kill myself Hyewon?"

Brief and abrupt. Enough to wake up Hyewon entirely, eyes widen in panic. Obviously, she knows what she is talking about.

"Do you know?"

Reluctant. Those eyes that always made her heart race on how it incites specifically to her. Now all she could see a barren look.

Hyewon didn't want to show any emotions that could make her skepticism about the answers she would answer. It was a blank look for her to be fooled whether she spits out the truth or a lie.

It was too broad of a question. There she knows barely a small part of that memory but there could be a much more that she doesn't know that Hyewon knows.

"Yes."

Chaeyeon is a wary person. But now she is willing to take a risk. She might not remember much. All she could hope now with that answer Hyewon would divulge everything to her accidentally or premeditatively.

Hyewon is equally as cautious as Chaeyeon. Spending time with her for quite a long time made Chaeyeon realize that the answers Hyewon says are the words that are pleasant to hear. Even with her past, persona, it felt like Hyewon was describing a person similar to an angel. All she could do is believe Hyewon that she is all of those in the past.

For a moment Chaeyeon saw Hyewon scrunch her nose. A habit she tends to do when in deep thought. And now Chaeyeon was sure Hyewon is thinking of an answer that wouldn't upset her.

"We should talk about this inside my room."

--

"To me, you were someone who I could never attain," Hyewon shoots off with a gloomy smile plastered on her face, fiddling with her fingers as she recalls that Chaeyeon didn't expect to hear.

"In many ways, everyone loved you. Who wouldn't? Lee Chaeyeon was a name known to everyone who was kind and hardworking. No one could hate someone like that, right?"

Chaeyeon couldn't help a tad regretful whenever Hyewon describes her like that. That was the past Chaeyeon. Now she is a totally different person.

It doesn't mean she thinks of it badly. It's just the assumption of her identity feels imprinted, somehow it made her wanted to live up to that standard of the past "Lee Chaeyeon."

"I liked you ever since Eunbi introduced you to me. Our meeting never felt forced. I wanted to be friends with someone who will let me be. A person who could accept this messy and strange person I am. We might be wildly different in almost everything but you made it as if it wasn't a concern and honestly, I wouldn't lie if I said I loved every second of that meeting."

To Chaeyeon it was the first time hearing Hyewon's side of the story. It felt bizarre - in a good way for her to listen to someone on why she fell for a person like her. It felt weird because she knows how much Hyewon loves her, she showed it every chance she got. From the tiniest actions like remembering what she dislikes that she only told once. Chaeyeon was forever grateful for everything.

"We weren't close just because of one meeting. You were an occupied per