JISOO

“Some people come into your life for a specific reason. Some are meant to leave and some are meant to stay. All of them serve a purpose in your life.”

What is the reason why fate suddenly brought you back? I kept on thinking that night after my dinner with Lisa. The night was long, I stayed up staring at my ceiling into nothingness and was not able to sleep. I tossed and turn until I give up and just decided to get up. Besides we have to meet early for the shooting of Seulgi’s music video today. Lisa is going to direct it. My thoughts filled with our meeting last night again. She has change a lot. I can see her confidence and love for her work. It relieved me to see she’s doing fine. Those bright brown eyes of hers are gleaming as she talks about her team and their success. It seems like her life has become better since she left, a life without me.

I stared to the mirror in front until it blurs. Sudden images from that night years ago sent shivers with the familiar nauseating feeling.

Everything went downhill 2 years ago. I have no one beside me, I lost my passion of becoming a singer and was kicked out, no agency wanted me because of the bad rumors. It was also a year ago when I started having anxiety attacks and my only relief is to be constantly cleaned. I was hopeless and a complete mess. Things are getting out of hand until Jennie found me. The one person that fate brought me to teach me how to be strong again. But even though she helped me a lot to get through everyday, still nothing worked. My condition only got worse. So she pushed me to consult a doctor. I was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder. That’s when I met my doctor, Taehyung who taught me about having hopes again. He helped me with my treatment and therapies. They’ve become my purpose to be better. I don’t want their efforts for me to go to waste so I tried to be the best that I can. Then just five months ago I was cleared and released from therapies. After that I got a job, it may not be my dream job but it pays well, that’s what matters to me right now. It’s always busy everyday for months which helped me set my mind and energy on other things . Everything is going well until all of a sudden my world turned upside down again yesterday.

Will I be able to handle this? I’m not how I used to be. I’m not the same anymore. I shook the thoughts in my head. Before I knew it, I’m already washing my hands. I stopped before I’ll lose control. I took a deep breath three times just like how Taehyung taught it. Happy thoughts. Find happy thoughts. Chicken, trees, bunny and winter. I repeated my four list as I take deep breaths. When I have cleared my thoughts, I dressed myself and started my day. Just like how my usual day.

The site of the music video is in the basement of Building 3. The concept is Vampire and Seulgi has to change her outfit for three times which means the managers will have time to rest while she changes. For the couple of days our team are very busy preparing for the comeback and I'm getting lesser sleeps, which is not healthy for my state. The coffee is not helping with my sleepiness at all. I need at least a nap. The van is quiet and empty while shooting so I took that opportunity. My eyes were drifting to sleep when Manager Yoon knocked.

“Jisoo-yah, what are you doing here? We need a hand there.”

I have no choice but to get up and help fix some of the props before Seulgi starts filming. On the corner, blonde Lisa is wearing her smile while explaining to Seulgi the story of the music video. Such a sunshine as always. I still can’t believe the Lisa I knew was such a baby then and now she has grown up to be a woman. I thought I would despise her for leaving but I find myself happy seeing her this way.

“Hey Jisoo.” I turned to a pink hair lady.

“Hi Chaeyoung” Seeing her being friendly still makes me feel sorry on how I acted towards her yesterday. To at least return her good gesture, I offered her my snacks. Which she gladly accepted and eat right away.

“Lisa talked a lot of good things about you.” I was confused why she’s suddenly talking about Lisa, she probably saw me staring at Lisa moments ago.

“I think she’s where she is right now because of you. I remember she told me that you wouldn’t like to see her sulking.” Her intention is pure yet it made me wonder to myself if its supposed to cheer me up or not. Instead, I just gave her a smile. Chaeyoung finished her snacks and opened another one. The cookie crumbs are still on . I took my handkerchief and wiped it. She reminds me of Lisa when we were on training days when I had to look after her.

“Chaeyoung-ah!” Lisa appeared beside me, arms crossed while pouting towards Chaeyoung. The latter quickly pinched Lisa’s cheeks a