A/N: Angst? Angst. Bit of a warning; mentions of blood and injuries (I think I'm quite descriptive, so if these make you uncomfortable, be careful. Think it's somewhere around the last third of the chapter).. Enjoy!

 c h a p t e r  s i x ; 

“I don’t really feel like eating, to be honest. Think I’ll just get a drink for now,” Hyukjae said softly, flipping through the menu. Everything was so expensive; a mere casserole dish of lasagna cost above fifty-dollars, which was way above what Hyukjae would be able to afford on the daily. Sure, he worked a job with a decent wage, but this? This was a little too extravagant for him, although it was probably normal for Siwon. He was rich and an heir to his father’s company afterall.

“Sure, Hyukjae. Whatever’s best for you,” Siwon smiled, rearranging the little napkin on the table. “Oh —do you mind waiting here? I need to get something from the car. I’ll be back in a jiff.”

“Okay,” Hyukjae mumbled, barely looking up from the menu. He watched the man leave the restaurant from his peripheral vision, heaving a sigh as soon as he was out of sight. It had been an extremely long day. He wasn’t sure why he’d agreed to going for the match, let alone meeting Siwon for dinner. He was upset with himself first and foremost, for not having the willpower to reject Siwon. He knew deep, deep down he felt something for the man. He was sure of it.

He couldn’t deny, however, that if he had just decided to ditch Siwon and stay home with Donghae, he would’ve felt so much better. He wouldn’t have had that panic attack at the stadium, and he wouldn’t have ran into that person; he wouldn’t have needed Donghae to defend him, and he wouldn’t have lost his inhibition. He wouldn’t have kissed Donghae, and things wouldn’t have become awkward between them. That’s what happened, right? The atmosphere between him and his best friend was awkward now, something he’d always wanted to avoid. It was his fault.

Yet when he recalled how the morning had passed, he found himself smiling, reminiscing about his best friend’s childishness and how they were fooling around in the house, safe within the walls of their home. If he had just decided to say no to Siwon, he would’ve spent the whole day with Donghae, being up to their usual shenanigans. They’d probably have gone to the shops to get ice-cream, talking about their childhood and goofing around like they always would. Something like that. He loved how he never had to put his guard up around Donghae. He made him feel safe. He always did.

Unfortunately, Donghae wasn’t there with him, and it kept Hyukjae on his tiptoes, walls up. He’d had a full-blown panic attack earlier that day, followed by a mild one upon meeting that man, and if by some horrible luck, he were to have a third one, Donghae wouldn’t be there to save him. Siwon had never seen him at his weakest, and Hyukjae was determined not to let him see that side of him. He sighed. He wished with all his heart that Donghae would be there, but alas, reality was a . Donghae was somewhere out there having dinner with her, and Hyukjae had no right to feel upset about it. The tables were turning against his will, revealing just how much he clung onto Donghae as he did him. He understood how Donghae felt now; why he felt the way he did towards Siwon.

Siwon returned with that -eating grin on his face, dimples and all with his arms hidden behind his back. Hyukjae frowned curiously, resting his chin against intertwined fingers, watching silently. Siwon sat down, revealing a bouquet of baby’s breath that he’d prepared, along with a box of chocolates. He knew how much Hyukjae loved cheesy gestures, and yes, he really did love it, but for some reason this didn’t feel right.

“I’m sorry about Thursday,” Siwon said sadly, “but I wanna make it up to you. I know how much you love surprises, so I got you flowers, and chocolate—strawberry cream truffles, your favourite. I hope you like them.”

Hyukjae swallowed, reaching out for the items Siwon had gotten him. “These.. are really expensive, Siwon. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’d spend any amount on you. It doesn’t matter to me at all, as long as you’re happy.”

Hyukjae stared at the lilac box, tempted to untie the gold ribbon wrapped around it. He could never have afforded the chocolate; they were way too expensive, and the only time he’d had them was when Siwon got them for him years ago. He blinked his eyes, shifting his attention to an intrusive voice in his head: Siwon’s always showering you with gifts and taking you to expensive places to win you over, but c’mon. I’m sure we mean something more to you, no? Donghae’s expression was fresh in his mind—his bright eyes, crinkled nose and sad smile. The sadness Hyukjae felt upon that recollection was palpable. He could almost catch it in the palm of his hand as it thickened around him, but if he were to do that, everyone, Siwon included, would think he’d gone berserk. His sorrow was visible only to himself.

“Have you decided on what you want to eat?” Siwon asked, ripping him out of his solemn thoughts.

Hyukjae picked the menu up again, browsing the list of beverages with a blank, emotionless face. “I did say that I don’t feel like eating, didn’t I?”

Siwon widened his eyes, taken aback by the blond’s hostility, but he brushed it off upon recalling Donghae’s words from earlier that evening; that Hyukjae had had several panic attacks, and that Donghae was counting on him to take care of the blond. He had to be patient. “Sure. Sorry, Hyukjae, I forgot. Order whatever you want, alright?”

“I will.” Hyukjae said crassly, tracing his finger along the names of beverages in the list. He was spoiled for choice—he didn’t know what to pick. Everything was so expensive; too expensive for his taste. Fifteen dollars for a glass of orange juice? What the hell do they put in it, gold? He stifled a laugh that wanted to tear its way past his lips, shaking his head. Thinking of gold made him think of the little golden retriever that he lived with.

“I’m gonna have the grilled lobster tails with stelline and lemon with a kiwi sparkling mocktail,” Siwon announced to no one in particular. He snuck a glance at the blond, who was glowering at his menu. “Have you decided on your drink?”

“Mm, yeah. Orange juice.” It’s the cheapest ing thing on the list, oh my god, and I’m not a gold digger, so it’ll do. “I’ll probably get dessert later.”

“That’s good,” Siwon beamed. He waved a waiter over and placed their orders. As soon as the lanky man left their table, he looked at Hyukjae earnestly, waiting for the blond to look up. Hyukjae kept his eyes on the menu, staring blankly, completely against the idea of meeting the man eye-to-eye. “Hyukjae, can we talk about Thursday? Please?”

Hyukjae nodded briefly. “What about it?”

Siwon reached out, wrapping his hands around Hyukjae’s, barely noticing the way the latter had flinched.

“I apologise in advance regarding what happened, but… I need you to fill me in. I don’t know what I did wrong, and I need to know so I can properly ask you for forgiveness. Give me a chance, won’t you?”

Hyukjae finally looked up, boring holes through his soul. “I’m more than glad to talk about it, so sure, I’ll give you a chance. I need to know before we begin though; do you really not remember what you said that night?”

Siwon shook his head nervously. “No, I don’t. Not at all. All I remember is us going to a bar to drink… everything else is hazy to me. What did I say, Hyukjae?”

“Well, for starters, you told me you’ve always wanted to me.”

“What.” Siwon coughed out. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Hyukjae croaked. He didn’t want to cry, but why were his eyes watering? Stop. “I’m very serious. You kept on saying how much you’ve wanted me, no, my body for the longest time. You kept saying it over, and over, and over… you wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Siwon cussed under his breath. “That’s so embarrassing, god, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what got into me. That’s so… rude. I’m so, so sorry.”

“That’s not the worst thing you said.”

“,” Siwon uttered. “What else did I say?”

Hyukjae closed his eyes, massaging his temples as he recalled the unwanted memories he’d gained that night—it made him feel so distraught. Given a choice, he’d never want to bring them up again and he wouldn’t have had to if he was with Donghae right now. Despite Hyukjae’s sudden appearance at home that fateful morning, Donghae never pressured him for an answer, for him to explain what had happened. Sure, he did ask about it, but upon sensing Hyukjae’s discomfort, he dropped the subject like he always would. Donghae knew him best.

“You said a lot of about Hae, and I hated it.” He deadpanned, digging his fingers into his thighs to keep himself from cracking. “You insulted the absolute out of him.”

Siwon sighed, hanging his head as he shook it. “I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t mean to.”

“Well, there has to be some truth to what you said, so let me tell you exactly what you spat in my face that night.”

“Go on. I’m listening.”

Hyukjae took a deep breath, keeping his eyes closed. “You called him useless. A useless . You warned me that he has some sort of ulterior motive; that he’s messing with me and that he’ll hurt me. I don’t know where you got that from, but it pissed me right off.”

“Hyukjae, I—”

“You called him spineless, implying he lives off me. You called him childish. You told me to cut him off. You said he doesn’t deserve me.” I’m the one who doesn’t deserve him. “You told me you’d take care of me the way Donghae would never be able to. You said all of this about Donghae. My Donghae.”

Siwon his lips. “Hyukjae, please believe me. I didn’t mean any of it. I was drunk.”

“Hae has never done anything to you, Siwon.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know why I said any of that. I really don’t.”

Hyukjae’s voice began to crack. . “You wouldn’t have said any of that if it wasn’t already in your subconscious. People don’t pull out of their asses just because they’re drunk. So tell me, Siwon. What do you really think of me? What do you think of Donghae? What do you think of us?”

“I don’t have any excuses for what I said because it happened. The damage is done, and there’s no taking anything back. I can’t undo the distress it caused you, and I understand if you don’t want to forgive me, but I’m gonna be honest. I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I can’t hide it anymore. I have feelings for you, Hyukjae. I’ve had them for a while now, and Donghae knows this.”

Hyukjae froze. “Why does he know about this?”

“I told him,” Siwon admitted, blinking his eyes profusely as he stared at the ceiling above them. “I told him because I wanted him to feel threatened.”

“...but why?”

“I wanted him to let go of you, Hyukjae. I wanted you to come to me.”

“You hate him.”

“I do. I really, really do. I hate his guts.”

Hyukjae swiped a finger across his lower lid, quickly getting rid of a tear that threatened to spill. His free hand moved to something under his T-shirt instinctively—something cold and metal. “Why? Why do you hate him so bad? What did he do wrong? You know he’s my best friend; that I’ve had him by my side for more than half my life. You know how much he means to me.”

“That’s exactly why I hate him,” Siwon conceded. “He means so much to you. He has everything I want. He has you. He has all of you, and he doesn’t even know it. He doesn’t even appreciate you.”

Hyukjae sighed with his eyes shut. His fingers were scratching the fabric on his lap now, tracing letters into it to calm himself down. R-E-L-A-X H-Y-U-K-J-A-E. His mind was all over the place. There were too many thoughts, too many visuals, too many sounds… but one sound, one sentence in particular stood out to him, a sentence that knocked Siwon’s claim down not by a long shot. He could hear him. So you do want to know what I love about you. He could see him. What I love about you, is everything. He could feel him. I love everything about you.

“You don’t know that, Siwon.” Hyukjae uttered throatily, clenching his jaw. “So don’t assume.”

Just then, a waiter dropped by, serving them their food and beverages. Hyukjae quickly reached for his orange juice, sipping it to hydrate his dry throat. His fingers were wrapped around the glass tightly, desperately holding it in place so he could hide his face behind it. He didn’t know what else to say or do, and he sure as hell didn’t know what to expect from the man in front of him and what he would say next, or how he’d react to it. Fear began to crawl all over him, coiling around his body and limbs like a vine of ivy leaves. He didn’t even want to think of how the rest of the night would go.

“I’m sorry, Hyukjae. I’m just really jealous of him. With him around, you barely pay me any attention. You’re always fussing over him, looking after him, making sure he’s okay… I’m jealous. I really am jealous. Yes, I know you’ve been friends with him for far longer than we have, but I can’t help it.”

Hyukjae shook his head, smiling weakly. He placed the glass on the table, looking Siwon in the eye, slightly intimidated by the intensity of the other’s glare. “There’s nothing to be jealous about, Siwon. He’s just a friend. My best friend. Nothing more.”

“You say that,” Siwon said softly, “but when you go home tonight, it’s him you look for. It’s him who cuddles you to sleep at night. It’s him you wake up to in the morning. Is that what friends do?”

“We’re different, Siwon. We’ve known each other for so long and we’re very, very comfortable with each other. We always look out for each other. That’s all.”

Conflicted. Hyukjae was utterly conflicted. Wasn’t he angry at Siwon? Wasn’t he convinced Siwon had completely ed up their friendship? Why was his heart wavering right now? Was it simply because the man was remorseful, that he insisted that he didn’t mean anything he’d said that night? Why, oh, why was he trying to convince the man that Donghae and him were just friends? Did it matter? Why was he trying so hard to make sure Siwon didn’t get the wrong idea?

Who was he kidding? Hyukjae knew he’d liked Siwon for a while now. The man was perfect; tall and handsome, beautiful personality—well, when he wasn’t drunk, of course—and a stable career, a house, a car… basically everything one might need to live a life of comfort. Hyukjae knew they’d have a bright future ahead of them. He knew he’d be well taken care of. He was everything to Siwon, and maybe, just maybe, Siwon could be everything to him too.

But Donghae.

“I know. I know you probably wouldn’t want to give me a chance, especially after what happened. I’ll accept whatever decision you make… regarding our friendship, regarding me, regarding us,” Siwon told somberly. “All I ask is this. If you’re willing, and only if you’re really, really willing, I hope you give us a chance. I know you have feelings for me too, or at least I thought so, so all I ask of you is one date. Just one date, so that I can prove to you that I can take care of you.”

Hyukjae was speechless, but he found himself weighing the pros and cons nonetheless. Pros? It was Siwon. The man knew what he was doing, and he was finally, finally reciprocating his feelings. What could go wrong? Apart from that, maybe welcoming Siwon into his life in this way would fill up the little void he’d been suffering from all this time. Maybe he’d finally feel whole with Siwon by his side.

Doesn’t Donghae make you feel whole? He’s with you everyday. He knows you. He knows you so well.

Cons? He’d have to start all over again. His trust for the man was marred, not that it was impossible to rebuild it, of course. It’s just that it was a tedious process. On top of that, Siwon knew nothing of his past. How would he handle that? Would Hyukjae continue hiding it from him, or would he come clean? Hyukjae struggled with trust. He knew it all too well, and the only other person who was aware of this insecurity of his was his best friend; the little golden retriever he woke up to everyday.

But what if things didn’t work out? If things were to fall apart, who could he run to? Donghae? Donghae had somebody else now. Hyukjae had to accept that, and he had to learn to let go of him—at least a little, to give his best friend space. He needed to stop clinging to the man. Ironic, wasn’t it? He’d always complained about Donghae hugging him like a koala twenty-four seven, when in reality, it was him. It was him who never really gave Donghae room. It was him all along. Perhaps it was time to put that to an end.

“One date,” Hyukjae whispered. “Just one date, and we’ll see how it goes from there.”

Siwon perked up, sliding his hands across the table to hold Hyukjae’s in his.

“Thank you, Hyukjae. Thank you so much.” He beamed, grinning to himself, dimples as deep as the ocean. “I won’t disappoint you. I’ll make sure you never remember what life was like before me, I promise. I’ll make you happy.”

Hyukjae smiled weakly. Give this a chance, Hyukjae. You know you want to. He asked for the menu and began to browse through it again, this time with a different intention.

“Can I order dessert?” He asked Siwon, staring wide-eyed at him with tears glistening.

Siwon smiled widely, radiating some sort of newfound hope from his aura alone. He glanced from the bouquet and chocolates on the tabletop to Hyukjae’s soft, enthralling features. “Of course. Order whatever you want.”

Hyukjae scanned the page, pupils dilating as he gaped at the myriad of pictures of all kinds of desserts. Fancy cakes, panna cotta, pudding and the likes… but as he’d done earlier, he decided to settle on the least expensive dessert on the menu. He looked through the list and smiled.

A chocolate muffin.

I know it’s not much, but… I just wanted to celebrate your birthday with you, even if it’s like this.

“I still don’t understand.” Donghae muttered through gnashing teeth, chewing on a grilled pork skewer. He waved the smoke away, coughing slightly. “Why are you two so invested in this?”

“Because, Donghae, you’re too stupid to realise things on your own,” Kyuhyun said boorishly, taking a sip of sparkling water. “I’ve known you for what, four years? I always knew you were stupid, but I never thought you were this stupid.”

Donghae sighed, putting his skewer against a plate. “You’re no different from Hyukjae; always calling me all sorts of derogatory names. Someday it’ll be me calling the both of you names. Let’s see if you’ll like it then.”

“Firstly, Donghae, Kyuhyun has skin thicker than the core of the earth, so no amount of insults will get to him,” Yubin reminded, rolling her eyes as she picked up a tong to flip the barbequed meat. “Secondly, you’re too precious. You’ll never call them names.”

Donghae scoffed. “Maybe not Hyukjae, but I’ll definitely annihilate this er if he keeps this up.”

“Try me, Lee Donghae. You’ll regret it.”

“Sometimes I regret ever being your friend.”

“Ooh, ouch, Donghae. That really hurt me.”

Yubin reached out, smacking both of them on the head. “Can you two at least act like you’re in your mid-twenties? God.”

“But I—”

“Shut. Up. Kyu.” Yubin spat, glaring. Much to Donghae’s amusement, Kyuhyun clamped his mouth shut—a very rare occurrence indeed. He dared himself to wonder about the dynamics of the relationship between these two cousins, because it seemed to him that Yubin knew how to tame that loudmouthed friend of his. He chuckled, stuffing his mouth with meat wrapped in lettuce. The restaurant they’d shifted to that night was bustling. It was loud, very loud, and the entire place was clouded with smoke. The atmosphere was filled with a cacophony of cheerful banter and the sizzling of meat on grills. It was no surprise of course; it was a Saturday night afterall.

Donghae grease off his lips and chugged some of his juice. “Y’know, it’s kinda weird being here and eating all of this without being able to drink.”

“You better not,” Yubin warned. “You too, Kyu. You’re riding your motorbike—”

“Hyukjae’s motorbike,” Donghae corrected.

“Right. You’re riding Hyukjae’s motorbike home, and my idiot cousin over here is driving. I wouldn’t give a if I could drive alas, I..”

“Alas you’re a useless piece of ,” Kyuhyun taunted. “Get a damn license, Yu, I’m tired of driving you around.”

Yubin gritted her teeth, fighting the urge to slam her cousin’s head against the grill, because really, Kyuhyun could be a serious at times. This was one of those times. Instead, she blew loose strands of hair out of her face and reached into her bag for a hair tie, putting her hair up in a bun despite the urge to shoot that elastic hair tie at her cousin’s face. She took her denim jacket off and slung it over the backrest of her chair, turning around with a soft smile on her face. She was about to say something, but Donghae beat her to it.

“Your jacket reminds me of something Hyukjae has,” he said, grinning. “He wears it when he rides. I borrow it sometimes and he usually slaughters me for it, but at the end of the day he gives in to me. I kinda get away with everything when it comes to him. Funny. Actually, come to think of it, the way you’re dressed today completely reminds me of him. Interesting.”

“Thanks, I guess? I’m not sure how to react to that,” Yubin replied, smiling awkwardly. She stole a glance at her hopeless cousin, who was busy stuffing his mouth with kimchi. She had no idea if he’d heard what Donghae had said at all.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Donghae beamed. “It’s a compliment.”

“Okay, Donghae. Thank you, then. I… I’m glad I dress like Hyukjae.” Yubin muttered. She ran her eyes over Donghae, breathing in his body language with her sense of sight. Something about him felt… off. She couldn’t really tell what it was, deciding that it was best she kept mum and continued to observe him instead.

A waiter came by, serving them several more plates of raw meat. They bowed their heads, thanking the waiter with a smile as they arranged the plates on their table. Donghae stacked a few empty plates and set them aside, wiping his hands on a napkin before he picked up a tong.

“I should bring Hyukkie here,” he mumbled to himself, smiling. “He’d love it. He loves places like these. No wait, I’m not sure if he’s been here before. I’ll ask him. Probably not, though. He rarely meets other friends, and if he meets Siwon, he always takes him to expensive places. I should really take him here.”

“Hyukkie?” Yubin repeated.

“Yeah, Hyukkie. It’s Hyukjae’s childhood name. I love it. He told me to stop calling him that years ago, but for some reason he’s okay with me calling him that again.”

Yubin raised a brow, picking up a piece of lettuce to do as Donghae had earlier. Kyuhyun was finally shooting her a knowing look, showing as much interest and curiosity towards Donghae’s strange behaviour. Telepathically, they plotted to craft out perfect questions, questions that would elicit the answers they were searching for. To be honest, they weren’t exactly sure what they were looking for, but perhaps getting a hold of the gist of it was enough.

“What do you think he’s up to right now?” Kyuhyun asked emotionlessly, careful not to show how intrigued he was. They lowered their heads, darting their eyes at Donghae as the latter reached into his pocket to check his phone.

“It’s only half past nine. He’s probably still with—” his breathing hitched, but he quickly recovered, clearing his throat to continue. “He’s probably still with him.”

“Who?”

Donghae sighed. “You know who.”

“Siwon?” Kyuhyun said, stating the obvious just to push the man a little closer to his limit, if any. He wanted to know how Donghae would react to his questions. He needed to know exactly what it was that Donghae… thought of his best friend.

“I don’t think you’ve told me anything much about Siwon, Donghae. Who is he?” Yubin asked.

Donghae gazed at the grill blankly. Something about his eyes… they were hollow now. They’d lost focus completely.

“He’s—”

“He’s Hyukjae’s ideal man. Handsome bloke with tons of cash and a smile to die for. Heard from Donghae that he’s got a good personality too. Perfect. It’s no wonder Hyukjae loves him,” Kyuhyun interrupted deliberately, adding fuel to the fire. He exchanged glances with Yubin—and she knew exactly what he was doing.

Donghae shifted uncomfortably, Adam’s apple bobbing as he reached out for a piece of lettuce. “Likes, not loves. He likes him. But anyway, Yubin, he’s Hyukjae’s… other best friend. They met at his old job, and they’ve been close ever since. He’s not… he’s… I admit, he’s a good person.”

“Wow,” Yubin gaped. “What a catch. Bet you feel jealous every now and then, huh, considering how you’ve been friends with Hyukjae for so much longer.”

“I don’t.” Donghae deadpanned, wrapping his lettuce around a juicy cut of meat. “I have no reason to be jealous.”

Kyuhyun pursed his lips, slow clapping sardonically. “Amazing, Lee Donghae. For a dumb like you, you’re pretty grounded. I’d be so jealous if I were you. Imagine having your best friend stolen from right under your nose when you thought he’d be with you forever. It’d hurt like a … but hey, you’ve got it under control. I could never do the same.”

“Stop calling me names.”

Yubin intervened—instant damage control, she sensed they’d needed. “Yeah, Kyu, stop calling him names. Anyway, Donghae, you said Hyukjae likes Siwon, right? What about Siwon? Does he like Hyukjae?”

Kyuhyun and Yubin noticed it; they noticed the way Donghae’s jaw clenched, and how his fingers tightened around the metal tong in his grasp. Donghae was blinking rapidly, probably subconsciously, and he’d begun to chew on his lip so hard his teeth left marks on his pink flesh.

“He likes him too,” he said. His voice was low, a little too soft to hear, but the others caught on. They could hear the quivering in his voice… not that Donghae had noticed. Donghae didn’t seem to notice anything at all. All he noticed were the dark thoughts plaguing his mind. He didn’t understand them though.

“Oh. Does that mean they’re on a date right now?” Yubin asked innocently, raising a pair of chopsticks to her lips. She tucked a sausage slice between her teeth, taking a small bite as her eyes wandered, studying Donghae’s kinesics. He was balling his left fist under the table while the knuckles of his right hand grew white.

“I don’t know,” Donghae mumbled. “Maybe.”

Kyuhyun quirked a brow, pretending to scan the room as he spilled words that he just knew would break Donghae, or at least evoke an emotion so dormant in him that it could risk ripping his heart in two. He felt bad, but he had to. He wanted to wake the man up. “God, I don’t even know either of them personally, but I feel so envious. It’s so… how do you deal with this , Donghae? I’d go crazy if I were you. Next thing you know, Hyukjae moves out and leaves you in the dust. I would too if I were him.”

Donghae smiled sadly. “That could happen very soon.”

“Oh?” Yubin said, tilting her head. “How come?”

“Siwon’s perfect, Yubin. He’s perfect for Hyukkie—Hyukjae. After all Hyukjae has been through, he deserves someone who can make him happy. I’m sure Siwon can give him that,” Donghae grinned. Was he really grinning, though? “It’d be crazy if Hyukjae passed him up.” I can’t give him happiness. Not like that.

“Mm? What has Hyukjae been through?” Yubin inquired, reaching out for a napkin to dab the corners of . Both her and Kyuhyun stared intently at Donghae, completely unsure of what to expect. Would he spill everything and present it to them on a silver platter? Would he keep mum?

Donghae shook his head, shutting his eyes. “I wish I could tell you but… it’s private. I did tell you about it briefly the other night, though.”

“Oh… I remember that. Mm, so.. Is Hyukjae really moving out?” Yubin asked.

“Maybe.”

Kyuhyun picked up his phone, pretending to scroll through his texts nonchalantly just to grind Donghae’s gears, hoping the latter would think that he thought of this as the most casual, unimportant conversation ever.

He scoffed. “Definitely beats living with you, that’s for sure.”

“You sure are asking about Hyukjae a lot,” Donghae snapped suddenly, dropping the tong. “Both of you.”

Yubin glared from Kyuhyun to Donghae and back, hoping she managed to put her message across to her cousin—you’re going overboard. Kyuhyun caught on, but he could only shake his head, snickering to himself. This was the perfect opportunity to rip this man’s heart open so he could finally see the sentiments brewing inside it; what he was too blind to see all along.

“What? Weren’t you the one who said I’ve never met the man upfront? Now that I’m asking questions about him to get to know him better, you’re being all pissy. Pick a struggle, Dumbhae.”

Donghae huffed, brows knitted. “Maybe if you were a little nicer about it, I wouldn’t be so pissy, Kyuhyun.” His face was calm but his words poisonous to touch if brushed against. Perhaps his words weren’t admonishing enough.

Yubin laughed sincerely, snaking her arm over Kyuhyun’s shoulders affectionately. “My cousin’s an absolute , but he has his moments, Donghae. Don’t take it to heart.”

“I’ve known him for years and not once have I seen one of those… moments.” Donghae growled, giving Kyuhyun the stink eye which Kyuhyun, of course, paid zero mind to.

Yubin pushed a strand of hair out of her face, beaming. “Anyway, Donghae, you keep talking about this best friend of yours, but you’ve never shown me any pictures of him. I’m so curious. I don’t even know what he looks like.”

Donghae tilted his head curiously. “What do you mean? You saw him at my house.”

“No, I saw the top of his head, blond hair and all. I didn’t get to see his face,” Yubin stated, case in point. Donghae pursed his lips, hesitating for several seconds before he reached into the pocket of his dress pants. He pulled out his wallet and flipped it open, handing it to Yubin.

“This is Hyukjae,” he said softly, smiling tenderly as he pointed to the polaroid picture in its pocket, his previous admonition slowly seeping out of his bones. It was a photo of Hyukjae, pre-blond, sitting on a bench in the park with an ice-cream cone in his hand. He was grinning, gums and all, and there was chocolate ice-cream dribbling down his chin. He looked so… happy.

Yubin couldn’t help but notice that Donghae was nowhere to be found in the picture. Odd, no? Do best friends keep pictures of their friends in their wallets like this? Just a shot of his best friend without him, nestled in a wallet that he kept close.

“He’s so handsome,” Yubin grinned. “When was this taken?”

Donghae played with his fingers, suppressing yet another smile. “When he was twenty-one, and I was nineteen. He really is handsome, isn’t he? He doesn’t think so, but I think he’s the most handsome, no, beautiful person in the world. I wish he’d believe me when I tell him that. But anyway—”

“I’m about to puke, but yikes, I can’t deny that he’s handsome as though. I kinda love his eyes. Windows to your soul, or some like that,” Kyuhyun remarked, reaching for his glass. “Ten out of ten, would bang. Wait, does that make me gay? Or bi?”

Yubin rolled her eyes, flicking her cousin’s forehead. “You’d never stand a chance with him. Maybe Donghae would, but definitely not you.”

“You’re funny,” Donghae tittered. “I wouldn’t stand a chance either, Yubin. We’re best friends, but anyway, that’s besides the point. I’m so glad I kept this picture safe and sound, that I didn’t put it in the wallet that got stolen from me. I’d have cried my off if I’d lost this. This picture means a lot to me.”

Kyuhyun yawned. “Ah, yeah, forgot your weak got mugged, wallet and all. What a complete fool.”

“Shut up.”

“Hold on—why is that picture so important to you?” Yubin asked, lifting a brow. “Why so specific? I mean, you probably have a whole bunch of other pictures with him, so why this one?” She paused to observe the man’s mannerisms. “Sorry, I’m just kinda curious.”

Donghae bit his bottom lip, reaching into his white dress shirt. He pulled out a silver necklace—a thin chain with a small pendant hanging at its end. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he waited for Yubin to speak up. She did.

“What is it?” She asked, squinting her eyes. “Did he give it to you?”

Donghae traced the patterns carved into the pendant with his thumb, grinning. “It’s a moon. Well, half a moon. He has the other half, and no, he didn’t give it to me. Not exactly. We found it in a novelty store and got it because… Hyukjae loves astronomy, and in particular, he loves the moon. We found it funny how it came as a pair, so we paid for it together, promising each other that the necklaces were some sort of pact between us, to always be there for each other. To light up each other’s path, always. We’re two halves of a moon, I guess, and this picture… was taken on that same day.”

“That’s really sweet, Donghae. I’m presuming you wear this everyday?” Yubin queried.

“Yeah, I do. He does too. We’ve worn it everyday since that day.” Donghae uttered, hiding the necklace in his shirt. “Sometimes I forget, but he always reminds me.”

Time to kick it up a notch.

“Do you think he’ll take it off once he starts dating Siwon for real?” Kyuhyun asked, flipping several pieces of meat. “I mean, once he starts to date someone seriously, I’m sure you won’t be as much of a priority anymore, no? There wouldn’t really be a need to wear the dumb necklace.”

Donghae seethed. “He’d never do that to me. Never. He knows how important the necklace is to both of us. And please—you’re an and all, but