A/N: Little break from the angst,, I don't know why but I find my writing here very bland :-(( you decide

 c h a p t e r  t w e l v e ; 

“I couldn’t tell him.”

“What? Why not?”

“I didn’t have the heart to. He doesn’t remember anything, Siwon.”

“Yeah, but you can’t hide this from him forever. If she actually gets—you know—it’ll be even worse. Do you want me to talk to him instead?”

“No. Don’t. Don’t tell him. I just—don’t you think he’s been really strange?”

“How so?”

“He’s very edgy. He gets panic attacks so easily and he’s always acting without thinking… a lot more than usual. He hasn’t been like this in a long time, but ever since…”

“Ever since…? Ever since what, Donghae?”

“Ever since… I think I may have ed up big time. I did something and it led to a whole chain of that happened, and now that Junho is back…”

“Donghae, I’m gonna need you to explain. I don’t understand what’s going on. What did you do?”

“Yubin. You know Yubin, right? She wasn’t initially my friend. She... ”

… ..

..

… ..

“God, Lee Donghae. Why would you do that? Look, I know I was a complete for teasing you about it but you didn’t have to go so far.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Although I kind of think I’m at fault too. I may have said some things about you that really, really upset him. I’m sorry.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Who’s Junho, by the way?”

“Mm.. Okay y’know what? it. This is really personal , but I’m gonna tell you, and you need to listen, alright Siwon? I need you to understand the situation. Junho is...”

… ..

..

… ..

“... and my condition isn’t helping. He’s blaming himself a lot. It’s not healthy, and with Junho around it’s getting worse. And the … what now, Siwon?”

“Ah . This is so… so complicated. Hyukjae needs help, Donghae. We can’t do this alone.”

“I’ve been trying to get him to go for therapy for years. He’s scared. Stubborn, maybe.”

“Then I’ll try.”

“He won’t go without me, Siwon, but how am I supposed to go? I’m paralysed for ’s sake. Plus what makes you think he’ll suddenly change his mind and want to go?”

“Hm. This might sound like a move, but make a compromise with him.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, maybe make some sort of pact. Something along the lines of if you want me to recover, if you want me to go for my rehabilitation program, then you have to go for therapy. If you don’t go for therapy, then I’m not going for the program. If it comes from you, I’m sure he’ll listen.”

“So you want me to guilt him.”

“It’s for his own good. You’re not guilting him over nothing.”

“I’ll… I’ll try.”

“About Junho… I don’t know what this guy looks like, but if you say he’s that Jungsoo guy’s cousin then… I’ll find out. I’ll do my best to make sure Hyukjae is safe. He has to face this at some point.”

“Yeah… thanks Siwon. I just… I’m worried.”

“About what?”

“What if I never walk again? I mean, there’s a high chance I’m paralysed for good, no? . I want to take care of Hyukjae, not have him take care of me. Plus it’ll be so ing distressing on him to have to take care of me.”

“Donghae. I’m not gonna sugarcoat anything. Yes, you might never walk again. Might. You never know. And yes, Hyukjae might have to be the one who takes care of you. So what? I know you’re worried… oddly more worried about Hyukjae than yourself, but hey… just… focus on recovering. Hyukjae will be here. If he gets stressed out, I’ll try my best to help, okay? Don’t worry about it, bud. You take care of yourself, body and mind. You two are strong. Keep going.”

“ing embarrassing.”

Hyukjae looked up, chuckling as he adjusted Donghae’s sweatpants. “What, the fact that you had a while I was trying to clean your catheter? It’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened.”

“I—argh, it’s so… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to my best friend washing my and clearing my pee for me on the daily. It’s just—it’s weird, okay?” Donghae whined, rubbing his face. “It’s been two whole years and I’m still not used to it.”

They were in their apartment at Trimage, getting ready to go to Mokpo because, in Donghae’s words, it’s been a while and I need to see my friends aka my dog before I turn twenty-seven. Hyukjae shook his head in amusement, helping his best friend onto the sofa.

“Well get used to it. I’m doing this for the rest of your life. It’s not my fault you insisted on me doing it because you didn’t want to do it yourself. Besides, what’s it matter, Hae? What matters to me is that you’re starting to walk again, even if it’s taking ages and you might never pee properly ever again,” Hyukjae laughed, patting Donghae’s cheeks. He pulled the wheelchair over before sitting down next to Donghae on the sofa, chuckling. “You look really cute and stupid when you whine over something so trivial.”

“It’s not trivial! Not to me!”

“Alright, calm down, golden retriever! I’m kidding.” Hyukjae laughed, leaning against his best friend’s shoulder.

“Not funny,” Donghae sulked. “And why’s Siwon taking so long?”

Hyukjae checked his watch. 1:57 PM. Siwon was supposed to be here about half an hour ago.

“Hm, dunno. Maybe he got caught in traffic. In the meantime—”

“In the meantime, come here,” Donghae said, sulk fading into a smirk.

Hyukjae stared. “I’m… already here?”

Donghae clicked his tongue, patting his thigh for emphasis. “On my lap.”

“Why—”

“On my lap. Straddle me.”

Hyukjae grumbled, muttering under his breath as he shifted on the couch, swinging one leg over Donghae’s thighs. He lowered himself carefully, making sure not to put too much pressure on the other’s legs. He wrapped his arms around Donghae’s neck and frowned. “Now what?”

Donghae slid his arms up the blond’s sides, encircling his waist.

“Now,” he said softly, “we kiss.”

“But Hae, Siwon’s on his way and he might walk—”

Donghae didn’t listen. Of course not. He pulled the blond’s body towards him and on the seam of his lip, smiling kittenishly as Hyukjae stared at him, wide-eyed and embarrassed. Donghae closed his eyes, moving his fingers up and down his best friend’s back as he parted his lips, breathing against the latter.

“Go on,” he whispered. “You know you want to.”

For some god forsaken reason those words always had power over Hyukjae, and in this moment right now, the power of those words was nowhere close to wearing off. Hyukjae combed his fingers through the hair on Donghae’s nape and tangled it as he tilted his head, giving Donghae a small smile in return.

“I always want to,” he whispered back, eyes fluttering shut as he delved deep into Donghae’s mouth, inhaling sharply as the latter’s hands slid under his shirt.  He kissed his best friend long and deep, whining into him as Donghae grazed his nails against his flesh, up and down and around his waist, clawing them up his chest. Donghae laughed softly, voice low and husky as he angled his head to fit more of himself past the blond’s lips.

“You smell good,” he murmured, rubbing Hyukjae’s back in circles.

“I smell like bleach,” Hyukjae groused. “And it’s your fault.”

Donghae grinned, opening his eyes to trail them over his best friend’s features lustfully. “Not my fault you look good in blond.”

The dance of their mouths and hands obliterated all thoughts that were swimming around in their minds, and in its place swirled a deep, passionate red that warmed them up and from the inside out, bandaging them in some sort of amorous veil. Hyukjae arched up into his best friend’s broad chest, leaning his head left as Donghae pulled away from his lips to kiss, and his neck. Salacious noises escaped their souls as their hands roamed all over each other, mapping every inch of their skin. Donghae gave a spot next to Hyukjae’s Adam’s apple several strong , leaving a splotchy, purple love bite behind—just so everyone would know the blond was his.

“Donghae,” Hyukjae sighed, breath hitching as his best friend slid his arm around him to slip past the waistband of his jeans and squeeze his . They relinked their lips, pressing their bodies snug against one another as they brushed their tongues across teeth and inner cheeks and palates. Hyukjae frowned as Donghae pulled away again, gently holding him by the jaw as he kissed his way up the blond’s jawline, on his lobe.

“I love you so ing much,” Donghae breathed into the blond’s ear. “Only you.”

“Only me,” Hyukjae hummed, rubbing his palms all over Donghae’s abs. “I love you too.”

Out of nowhere, Donghae yanked his head back by the hair, and leaving another love bite on his alabaster skin, this time just above his collar bone.

“Hae,” Hyukjae said softly. “Everyone at work will see.”

“Then let them see. Let them know you’re off limits.”

Just then, Hyukjae heard the sound of metal buttons unfastening. He opened his eyes and looked down, frowning as he watched Donghae’s fingers working expertly on the fly of his jeans. He grabbed Donghae’s hands, shaking his head.

“No,” Hyukjae refused. “Not now. Siwon is coming over and we’re going out soon.”

Donghae matched the blond’s irises, raising his brows. His eyes were glistening and his unmistakable pout were apparent on his lips. He blinked slowly. That ing look, Hyukjae cussed under his breath. He hated it. It made him weak.

“I’m not gonna do anything,” Donghae said quietly. “I just wanna touch you. Just a little bit. Can I?”

Hyukjae gazed into his eyes silently, watching as his best friend’s eyes gazed back, intense and unwavering.

“Can I?” he repeated, rubbing a thumb in circles under his navel. Hyukjae couldn’t help it. He knew it wasn’t the right time for this, but Donghae got him so heated up with his kisses and caresses that he found himself nodding slowly, biting his lip as Donghae his lips, smiling contentedly. The latter tugged at his jeans, unfastening his fly slowly, buttons popping one at a time.

Hyukjae thought Donghae would just, y’know, maybe reach past his jeans to fondle him a little. How wrong.

Donghae ripped his jeans open and pulled down his briefs, freeing his as he kissed him feverishly. He wrapped his hand around Hyukjae’s flesh, rubbing pre- all over the tip of his shaft.

“F-, Donghae! I told you, not now! You said you only w-wanted to touch me a little b-bit!”

“I lied,” Donghae laughed. “Enjoy.”

Donghae began to pump him slowly, one hand on his while the other reached out for a box of tissues on the small table next to the sofa. He placed the box next to him and smiled.

“Lie down,” he said in a hushed tone, nuzzling the blond’s cheek.

“But—”

“Shhh. I want to make you feel good.”

Hyukjae’s breathing was deep. He shifted in his place, slowly lying down. He didn’t take his eyes off Donghae, not even for a second as he watched the latter move, positioning himself in between his thighs. Donghae peeled his jeans and briefs off half of the way down, eyes dilating at he trailed his gaze over the blond’s lower region. Hyukjae could’ve sworn he saw devil horns sprouting out of his head.

“Open wider,” Donghae uttered hoarsely, trailing a finger up the blond’s thigh to guide his legs open. Hyukjae had no choice but to oblige—okay, no, he had a choice but it’s not like he didn’t like where this was going. Far from it. He dug his elbows into the leather as he watched Donghae lower his head, engulfing him completely.

“For ’s sake, Hae!” Hyukjae screamed, rolling his eyes back as the other took him in deeper, so deep the head of his shaft hit the back of his throat. He couldn’t see it, but Donghae was smirking as he moved slowly, the underside of Hyukjae’s as he hollowed his cheeks out.

Donghae him hard, pushing Hyukjae’s so far into the back of his throat that his nose brushed against the dark hair at his base. He reveled in the sounds of Hyukjae’s desperate and mewling as the blond entangled his fingers in his hair, curling his toes. Donghae jounced his head, resting his weight on one elbow while his free hand reached up to caress Hyukjae’s inner thighs, slowly making its way towards his scrotum. He massaged them, slowly, sensually until the blond’s legs were jerking erratically, fingers tugging at his hair harshly.

“, Donghae, oh my god, ... oh , oh god, oh my ing god…”

Donghae continued to him off, digging the base of his palm up Hyukjae’s abdomen before raking his fingers back down repeatedly. Hyukjae’s moans got louder and louder the longer he drank him in, transitioning between ahs and oh god, Donghaes as his head lulled back..

Donghae pulled back, laughing at the sound of his best friend’s popping out of his mouth.

“Like it?” he asked simply.

“Keep going, please, god.”

More than willing to comply, Donghae grinned before he wrapped his lips around Hyukjae’s shaft once more, swirling his tongue around the tip before swallowing the rest of him all the way down. One of his hands glided up Hyukjae’s body, nails scratching and flicking the latter’s nub gently. He made a guttural moan, rubbing his thumb against the blond’s . The sensation was too much, way too much for Hyukjae at this point, considering how he’d kept himself blue balled for so long. Not that he was complaining, of course. It’s just… … finally. Donghae bobbed his head, humming in satisfaction. Gratifying his best friend’s, um, needs was one of his favourite things to do.

It didn’t take long.

“I’m gonna,” Hyukjae began through gritted teeth, “I’m gonna c-.”

If anything, it only spurred Donghae to move faster. His head, mouth, tongue and fingers worked quickly, syncing in time as he closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his best friend’s shaft resting heavily against his tongue. Hyukjae’s screams were loud and rambunctious, escaping his lips in between harsh and heavy panting as he instinctively lifted his crotch off the sofa. He arched his back, digging his fingers into the leather.

“I… I…”

He bursted into Donghae’s mouth, groaning as he painted the latter’s mouth and throat with his . Donghae continued to , swallowing every last drop as Hyukjae’s throbbed, slowing to a halt. As soon as Hyukjae finished completely, Donghae pushed himself up, wiping his mouth.

“You taste good,” he remarked as if he’d just devoured some sort of heavenly meal. To be fair, Hyukjae kinda was his meal. He grabbed a tissue to dab Hyukjae’s crotch clean of his saliva, snorting as the latter panted with his eyes squeezed shut. Hyukjae wiped the beads of sweat threatening to trickle down his forehead away, sitting up and pulling his briefs and jeans back on.

“What the was that, Lee Donghae?” he mumbled, trying his best to regain control over his breathing.

“Sorry,” Donghae laughed cheekily. “Couldn’t help it. You bent over to pull out the footrest and I lost it.”

“You got and gave me a because I was adjusting your wheelchair?” Hyukjae said incredulously, panting and squinting his eyes in disbelief. “Un-ing-believable.”

Donghae rested his elbow on the armrest, covering his mouth with his fingers. “Just… your jeans are tight, okay? So bend over more often, unless of course you don’t want me to you off.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then shut up.”

Hyukjae frowned as he buttoned up his jeans. “Getting bold now, are we? You’d never have dared to say shut up to me in the past.”

“I got sick of you telling me to shut up, so here’s your karma.” Donghae said, grinning. “Wanna taste yourself?”

Hyukjae huffed, playing along anyway. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Donghae’s in a gentler, much sweeter (not exactly, saltier more like it) kiss, deepening it as he pushed the last button of his jeans through its matching hole.

“It’s not like either of us are gonna get some in Mokpo anyway, and we’ll be there for two weeks—actually no. You’ll be there for two weeks. I’ll be there for three months or however long winter lasts,” Donghae said sadly, avoiding his best friend’s gaze. “Can’t you stay longer?”

“Work, baby.” Hyukjae grinned, tapping Donghae’s nose lightly. “I wish I could but I need the moolah.”

Just nice.

The doorbell resounded, startling them. They tore apart quicker than Usain Bolt, blinking at each other bewilderedly as information began to register in their brains slowly, slowly, very slowly. Then it clicked.

“Siwon,” they chorused.

Hyukjae got up, holding his palms out towards his best friend as if to tell him wait here, which, Donghae obviously adhered to. Not like he had much of a choice, really. Hyukjae hurried towards the front door, peeping through the hole for good measure. He unlocked the door and yanked it open.

“Hi,” Hyukjae greeted, standing by the doorframe awkwardly.

“Hey,” Siwon said back, side-eyeing the blond. “Just had ?”

“Huh?”

“Messy hair, drool on your chin, reddish scratches on your neck, love bites… I don’t know, just a hunch. You smell like .”

“I—j-just—I don’t know what you’re t-talking about.”

Siwon rolled his eyes. “Sure, Hyukjae. Where’s Donghae?”

Siwon kicked his loafers off and strolled into the living room, raising his brows comically as he caught Donghae smoothing his hair frantically, flustered. Donghae smiled at him sheepishly.

“I’m gonna pretend I have no idea what the two of you were up to,” Siwon uttered bemusedly. “Are you ready to go?”

Donghae looked from the tall, muscular man to his blond lover, grinning diffidently.

“Sure,” he said awkwardly, watching as Hyukjae wiped his chin and stepped forward to roll the wheelchair in front of him. “Hyukkie, can’t I just use my crutches and braces for today? Please?”

“No chance. We’ll be walking a lot, Hae. You’ll get tired on crutches all day,” Hyukjae said firmly.

“Are you saying I’m weak?” Donghae argued.

“I’m saying you’re human, Hae. Get on the wheelchair. Or do you want me to carry you?”

Donghae sulked, muttering under his breath as he grabbed the wheelchair’s armrests, hoisting himself up. He made himself comfortable on the seat, beaming with his eyes closed as Hyukjae combed his hair back like he was petting a cat. The blond bent down, stealing a kiss… a little too long for Siwon’s liking.

“I’m just—I’m literally right here, lovebirds.”

“Sorry.”

Siwon exhaled, shaking his head exaggeratedly. “Why the sudden desire to go to Mokpo by the way?”

Hyukjae shrugged. “Ask the golden retriever.”

“Okay, first off, I’ll never get used to that weird nickname of yours, and secondly, you’re lucky I don’t have work today and I’m ever so kind to offer driving you to the station.” Siwon scoffed, walking towards the front door while adjusting his satchel. “Plus Changmin’s busy.”

Hyukjae frowned, checking the contents of his bag carefully to make sure he had everything they needed.

“Wait for me here,” Hyukjae said lowly, walking towards Donghae’s bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Donghae called after him.

“Gotta get you pants!”

“What for?!”

“In case you yourself, you absolute idiot!”

Siwon choked, covering his mouth to suppress a full-on chortle from erupting. He cleared his throat, turning around to grab the wheelchair by its push handles. “Let’s just wait outside while Hyukjae gets your stuff.” They exited the apartment, waiting by the corridor as Hyukjae rushed around the house picking items off shelves and tabletops, stuffing them into his bag, dragging their luggage along. They made their way down, stopping by Siwon’s black Mazda in the carpark.

Hyukjae pulled the backdoor open, holding his arms out for Donghae to hold onto.
“I can do it myself, Hyukkie. I’m not… okay yeah, fine, I’m paralysed but still, I can do this myself.”

“Tsk, I didn’t say you couldn’t, Hae. I know you can. I was just, y’know… just in case.”

Hyukjae waited for Donghae to push himself off the wheelchair, grabbing onto the car door as he maneuvered himself into the backseat. Hyukjae gave his best friend a kiss on the cheek as the latter buckled his seatbelt.

“You’re such a dad,” Donghae griped.

Hyukjae rubbed his thumb across Donghae’s cheek. “Like, daddy type dad?”

“Go away.”

“Fine. I’ll go keep the wheelchair and luggage,” Hyukjae sighed, rolling his eyes so far back he could’ve sworn the back of his skull flashed by him. He pulled away, folding the wheelchair as he walked to the boot, pulling it wide open to keep it. Siwon dragged the luggage over, stuffing it next to the wheelchair.

Hyukjae got into the backseat and slammed the door shut, smiling at Donghae.

“What do you want.”

Hyukjae’s smile faded as he leaned against his backrest, folding his arms. “Petty.”

“I—I’m kidding, Hyukkie, I’m not mad. I was just play—”

“Too late.”

“Awwww c’mooooooon, Hyukkie,” Donghae whined, pouting and tugging on the blond’s arm. “I was just joking, Hyukjae, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I’m sorry! C’mon, Hyukkieeeee, I’m sorry!”

“Leave me alone.”

“Hyukkie.”

“Stop.”

Siwon adjusted the rearview mirror, eyes doing a cartwheel. “I didn’t think driving you two would mean running a children’s daycare centre.”

The car moved out of the carpark, driving onto one of Seoul’s main roads, joining in the traffic. Donghae was still tugging on the blond’s arm as the latter pretended to be upset just to fluster him.

“Hyukjaeeeeee.”

“I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“Why not?”

“You’re petty and I’m tired of it.”

“Awwwww, Hyukjae—”

“Oh for ’s sake!” Siwon cried out, tightening his grip around the steering wheel. “Carry on and I’m kicking both of you and the wheelchair out.”

“Whoa, mean, King Choi.” Donghae gasped.

Siwon clicked his tongue, turning back to fire daggers at the man. “For the last time, I do not run a kingdom! It’s a mansion for goodness sake. A house! And it doesn’t even belong to me!”

“Potato potato, King Choi.” Donghae singsonged. “You’re threatening to banish a physically disabled prince and his blond knight from your royal carriage. Heartless.”

“I—I’m this close to kicking you out, Lee Donghae!”

“Why me?! What about Hyukjae?!” Donghae screamed.

Siwon growled through gritted teeth in exasperation. “God, Hyukjae, how do you put up with him?!”

Hyukjae side-eyed his best friend, clenching his jaw. “I don’t. That’s why I’m not talking to him.”

“Hyukjaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Donghae whined, bouncing in his seat. He sulked, staring out the window as tears began to well up in his eyes… yes, a twenty-seven year old man, tearing up because he pissed his best friend off and can’t accept the fact that the latter refused to talk to him. Donghae began to sniffle.

“Are you seriously crying, Donghae?” Siwon snorted bemusedly. “Amazing. Now I really don’t know how you put up with him, Hyukjae. I’m gonna turn on the radio to drown out his sobbing.”

“Go ahead,” Hyukjae ranted. “He’s always pulling off the sad, pitiful gimmick anyway. I don’t wanna hear his sobs either.”

“Hyukjae!” Donghae wailed, grimacing. He literally began to cry, tears streaming down his cheeks as his shoulders shook. “Why are the both of you so mean to me?!”

Hyukjae rolled his eyes, widening the gap between him and his best friend. “We wouldn’t be mean if you stopped being annoying but alas.”

Donghae cried into his palms, turning away from the blond. Hyukjae smirked, looking out the window as familiar shophouses and streets passed them by. Hyukjae and Donghae didn’t exactly visit their family very often, considering how challenging it was for Donghae to move about on a wheelchair. Sometimes his family would come to visit them at the apartment. Other times, they’d video call each other, updating their eomma and appa about how they’d been, waiting for their family to update them just the same. Donghae missed them terribly; not that he’d admit it of course, but Hyukjae knew him too well to miss the look of dysphoria that crossed his face every now and then whenever he looked at that framed photograph of their family on the television console.

Their family. Weird, wasn’t it? It’s like they’re married, but they’re not. It’s like , but not really. We’re so weird, Hyukjae chuckled internally. They had no idea these two were… more than friends though.

The radio blared through the car, playing hit after hit as the three sat in silence. Hyukjae sighed, stealing glances at his best friend. The latter was staring out the window, playing with his fingers. As fun as it was teasing the childish man, regret began washing over him like the tidal waves of an ocean under the evening sun, eating at his insides the longer he stared at the man’s fidgety fingers. He now realised how much he preferred annoying, childish, chatty Donghae over the listless m