It was still the same day, only a different hour.
I slept right after Taehyung escorted me back, forgetting to do my before-bed routine and stretches. 
But I didn’t find it to be significant, since it was my first and only day I neglected them on.
I didn’t meet Taehyung another time, since we did already stay for nearly a day together.
Yes, my wish got granted at the end; we did spend a day together, basically. The hours in which we kept each other company differed, their number didn’t.
But it was a special one. It most certainly was. 
Although that evening, Taehyung texted me, asking whether I slept or was yet to. Well I did fall into a deep slumber, but it didn’t last long; only for five hours.
He requested from me to meet on the following day as well, and I accepted as usual.

The next day came faster than expected, to my liking, and so did our meeting time.
We met in front of a café in the x area’s district.
“Good morning.”
“Hey.” Responded he, then went inside the place. “Is this your first time coming to a café?” I nodded as I sat on a chair opposite to his hastily. 
“Such places are made for time killing, as mother said. But however many minutes I spend with you, none of it could ever be reckoned a waste.” He side-smiled.
“Thanks.” 
“Welcome.” Said a waiter, a reasonless smile on his face “What may I get you?”
“An americano for me.” Taehyung looked towards me, to which I shook my head. “Is there French toast?”
“Of course!”
“Then add it to the order.”  The worker nodded before going away. “Anyways, did you sleep well yesterday?”
“Not really. I forced myself to bed, but I still couldn’t lose consciousness until late.” He shrugged.
“Your eye bags tell the story.” I touched the area at that.
“Really?” well I didn’t expect anything less; sleeping late is harmful to health, particularly to the skin.
“I sleep that late every single day. That’s probably why I didn’t get as tired as you.”
“Even on school days?” 
“Two or three hours earlier.”
“That is still quite tardy.” He shrugged. “Don’t you get unenergetic throughout the day?”
“I doze off in class, so it isn’t that significant of a matter.” 
“I see. So you still attend class daily?” he bitterly nodded.
“If I don’t attend a session, I would have to bring my caretaker along with me to get an entering ticket for the following classes.” He scoffed “Of course, I wouldn’t want such a scenario to happen.”
“Here you go.” As the waiter came back with the older’s order, he put the plate and the mug on the table, along with a paper. Taehyung gave him several coins after that, previous to the server leaving.
To my bemusement, Taehyung took the sachet of sugar placed near the coffee, opened it, and emptied the white substance in his mouth.
“Aren’t you supposed to mix that with the coffee?” I wasn’t sure anymore about it.
“Yes.” Said he, tongue still dissolving the fine grains “But I like my coffee bitter. That is the only way it could arouse my energy.”  That was true.
“Why did you have the sugar, then?” 
“It’s good on its own. Would you like to try?” I had a light breakfast for that day, so I didn’t mind eating a tad more.
“Actually, it would be harmful..” he only stared at me with dull eyes, which somehow prompted me to accept his offer “But if it’s for once, then it’s alright.” He handed me a second sachet.
I tore it open, gently, then placed it vertically against my mouth as I lifted my chin a bit.
Surprisingly, it tasted good on its own, such as Taehyung admitted.
“Quite good, right?” I nodded, trying to focus on melting the sugar in my mouth. “I told you so.”
After that, the latter took a fork and a knife, then started cutting the crispy piece of toast.
“Do you like French toast?” he nodded “Is it as good as the raspberry crumble?” he placed the silverware on the plate, then cleared his throat.
“Did you never have some before?” I nodded “At this point, I might ask whether you have tried eating rice before or not.”
“I did.”
“That’s not the point, but either way, try it now.”
“But I have already eaten some fruit, and the sachet of sugar.” 
“It’s okay, having some French toast wouldn’t get you fatter so easily.” I blinked twice.
“Wouldn’t you mind?” he shook his head.
“Not at all.”
“Alright then.” He gave me another fork.
“You won’t need the knife; I will cut it.” 
“Thank you.” I shoved the fork’s pointy ends in the piece of bread.
“Drench it in the syrup first.” I did as told, then put the food in my mouth.
The sound of crunches could be heard clearly, and as I chewed further, it became mushy. The sweetness of the maple syrup, the starch of the bread and the fat of the oil made an extremely great combination. I couldn’t hold a smile back.
“Delicious, right?” I nodded, then took yet another bite, along with a slice of mandarin that was placed on the side, its sourness giving more amusement to the flavor. “Which is better; French toast or raspberry crumble?” I pointed with my fork at the plate. “Really? Why?”
“I have never thought that bread could become so delectable and full of tastes.”
“You got a point.”

We stayed for some more time at the café, then headed towards the park, where we decided to have a walk.
We sat on one of the benches. 
“Where would you want us to go next?” I thought for a tad.
“You told me that you would show me around the centers in the D area district since they were closed last time we were there.” He lifted his head.
“Sure.”
“But please, prevent me from eating any further, I should look after my health.” For a reason, he chuckled. Only then did I remember something “By the by, Taehyung, can we take a photo together? We have never taken a picture of us two before.” he nodded before getting his phone out.
“Alright.” He positioned the phone in front of us for a self taken picture. “Could you smile?”
“Oh, yes.” I did as told, although slightly. He beamed too.
He chuckled. The faint laughter became louder. Then, out of the blue, he cupped my head gently.
I didn’t know why I get more heated whenever he would touch me.
Probably because he is too warm.
“You’re adorable, and sometimes you become even more lovable, I can’t bear this.”
I?
Lovable?
“Wh-why are you saying such things?” the grin never quit his mouth.
“I merely felt the urge to.” There was a tint of childishness that earned a laugh out of my mouth. “Even your laugh is delightful.” Only one of his hands was left on my cheek at that point in time, his eyes looked droopy and sleepy as always “If I would attempt to cite what makes you such a quality woman, my words would never cease.” A surge of curiosity struck me.
“Could you at least mention the major ones?” he breathed in.  
“Your faint smile, your relaxing husky voice, your petite hands,” his free hand tenderly held mine.” the shimmer in your eyes, the curls on your hair,” he played with some of its locks “your bashfulness, your obliviousness, your aid, your purity…I feel blessed.” He paused, then backed away, “Good for you. Really.” 
“O-oh, thank you.” I sighed, feeling more easiness at the separation of our bodies, yet a bit of displeasure, for an unknown reason. Although, one more question lingered around my mind “Taehyung,” he nodded “is this called a date?” his eyes grew wider.
“U-uh, we are alone, and we, um, have quite unique feelings that aren’t equivalent to those between friends. It isn’t a normal hangout, so yes, you can call it” he moved his hand up, then back down “a d-date.”
“I see.”
“Isn’t it about time that we g-“ an abrupt call on his phone cut his sentence off. He looked in befuddlement at the anonymous number, then answered. “Hello?”
“Where are you?” although very faintly, his uncle’s voice was audible to me. Taehyung rolled his eyes.
“How did you get my number even?”
“Doesn’t matter. Come home. Now.” Demanded he in his stern voice, previous to ending the call. 
A sigh quit Taehyung’s nostrils.
“Excuse me, but we will have to go to the district another time.” Even though I was greatly discontented with the amount of time we spent together, I smiled.
“It is alright. We can always meet, right?” he nodded.
“Right. Okay then.” His arms hugged me firmly, protectively, and the next thing I felt was a tender kiss on my neck. “Bye.” Said he before waving at me, which I mimicked, then went on his way home. And so did I.

For the rest of the day, Taehyung didn’t message me.
So the following day, I texted him first.
Sivilla:’Good morning.’ He didn’t answer for half an hour, then finally responded.
Taehyung:’Hey’
Sivilla:’How are you?’
Taehyung:’fine, wau’
Sivilla:’I am too.’ He didn’t talk further, so I started a chat instead.
Sivilla:’Are you and your uncle alright?’ he didn’t reply for some minutes.
Taehyung:’ he just wanted me to give me the monthly allowance’
Sivilla:’ I thought it would be a more solemn matter, thank god.’
Taehyung:’Yes’ he still didn’t seem to talk more.
Sivilla:’Are you sick? You aren’t talking as usual.’
Taehyung:’I do have a headache, it’s promising of a flu’
Sivilla:’Try not to go out and have medicine please, you might flee it.’
Taehyung:’ I will thanks.’ I didn’t want to derange him any further.
Sivilla:’Bye then.’
Taehyung:’Bye.’

The holidays ended.
Taehyung and I didn’t meet through the rest of the week, as his illness grew graver.
Of course, I put his wellbeing as the priority, and didn’t ask for any further ‘dates’ between us.
Although, even when I would text him, he would reply briefly, and he wouldn’t start the talking either. I blamed it on the sickness and disregarded the issue.

Classes were resumed on Monday, as told beforehand.
I didn’t see Taehyung for the whole morning session, neither the evening, so I hoped to cross roads with him on the way to the station.
I waited for a few minutes, the train came by then yet Taehyung didn’t.
So I went back to the college’s library to check. He wasn’t there ,neither was he in the abandoned classroom. 
So I went to Hester’s restaurant, as my final hope.
I entered the shop, eyes wandering around in search of Hester.
“Oh, hey, Sivilla!” I turned to my left as I saw the chef.
“Good evening. Um, did Taehyung come here, by any chance?” for the first time, I saw a new expression on his face. 
“Oh, um" he paused “he was here ,like, three minutes ago.” Why didn’t he invite me, I thought “Why, is it a lovers’ quarrel?” my face got warmer.
“N-no, I merely couldn’t find him, that’s all.” He lifted his head. Yet even his usual cheerful face seemed a tad blander “Alright then, I should go after him.” The male nodded.
“Bye then!” I waved back hastily before exiting the place, then running my way to the station.
Thankfully, there weren’t much cars around, permitting me to jog at ease.
I descended the stairs, and to my fortune, saw the sought brunet.
“T-Taehyung!” I shouted, before nearing him. I felt ever so ecstatic to see him yet again after such a long period of not meeting him, neither talking to him directly.
“Hey.” Hearing his voice was of great solace.
“Why didn’t you tell me where you were? I messaged you.” Said I between pants. 
“My phone run out of battery, and I was too hungry, so I went to the restaurant. Sorry.” His dull look was directed away from me.
“I see. I apologize for misunderstanding.” He nodded “Taehyung” he shook his head again “Why aren’t you happy to see me?” I didn’t know where the audacity came from.
His eyes grew wider at my question, then finally looked at mine.
“I-I am. Why are you saying such a thing?” 
“You don’t seem like y-“ the force of him pulling me to him stopped me from talking further. That hug, it felt different than the previous ones we shared before. It was way tighter, way more meaningful, and way more reassuring. 
Although, it didn’t last for long.
“Alright, why were you searching for me?” I looked at him intently before answering.
“I want to go out with you.” He scratched the back of his head.
“Sure. Where to?” 
“Um, mayhap, would you want us to go to Emma?” he nodded. Then silence followed. I broke it “Did you fully heal?”
“I don’t know.” declared he while entering the train “That’s why I didn’t want to stay with you.” 
“Thank you, but I will be fine, don’t worry.” Although, he seemed perfectly healthy.

The train trip was spent in silence. And while visiting the flower shop, the older didn’t seem as energetic as he usually becomes in Emma’s company. Only slight laughs and forced smiles. What merited bemusement was him not escorting me home; he did offer it, but when declined, he bid me farewell and went away. Still, I, yet again, blamed it on the flu.

The following day, I couldn’t find him, neither did I on Wednesday, so I called him and requested ever so shamefully to meet on Thursday.
And even though he approved, he didn’t seem to enjoy our hangout with Emma.
Of course, we went to visit her. That was my only excuse; the kid telling me that she missed Taehyung, which helped me be blunt enough to invite him.
Still, not many interactions were between us. That evening, he didn’t even propose to walk me home.
I could not disregard his change in behavior at that point; he clearly wanted to evade me, and did not even want to lay eyes on me.
But why?
…I couldn’t provide an answer. Nor an assumed one. I had no leads, no proof, and no basis to answer accordingly to.
And thus, I decided to usurp a response of his own.
I texted him again on Thursday night.
Sivilla:’Hello. I am sorry to disturb you but could we meet tomorrow?’ an answer was delivered after numerous minutes.
Taehyung:’I can’t.’
Sivilla:’On Saturday then?’
Taehyung:’I still can’t.’
Sivilla:’Just for some minutes.’
He didn’t answer. Neither on that night, nor on the following day.
So, on Saturday, I excused myself to the restroom few minutes before the bell, and went to stay in front of Taehyung’s classroom. 
Taehyung mentioned that his class was on the 4th floor, so I headed there and awaited the bell peal next to the staircase.
Time passed, the bell rang, and Taehyung came out eventually.
He didn’t seem to notice me at first, but as he neared my spot, he glanced at me, then looked away again.
I didn’t care whether other students would have noticed us or not when I pulled his forearm gently.
“What are you doing?” whispered he calmly.
“It will be quick, let us go away from here first.” I let his arm go, previous to him heading towards the back exit, which I did along with him.

We were in a narrow alley by then. The male heaved a sigh before talking.
“Sorry I didn’t answer, the battery went out, and I lost the charger.”
“That is too much of a coincidence.” Declared I, to which he looked dimly stunned.
“Believe what you will.” He sighed again “So, did you want us to hang ou-“
“Taehyung please. I want us to converse about a matter that is much worrying.”
“Um, sure, go ahead.” Even though he seemed to be calm, his voice revealed faint distress.
“Why are you avoiding me?” his brows knit at my words. Only the reaction was clearly unnatural.
“I’m not. What are you talking about?” I knew that he would deny. For that was I prepared.
“You don’t text me, and whenever I would send a message to you, you don’t reply immediately as usual. Thursday you even neglected them. You don’t accept my requests until you are in a situation that forces you to. You don’t-“
“That is untr-“
“-seem to be having as much fun as you did before, you..” I my lips in “Need I to mention everything?” he opened his mouth to speak.
“I-“ only to shut it, then opened it again. “I am. I am avoiding you.” He shrugged “Satisfied?”
“I am yet to be.” He rolled his eyes “I want the reason, not the confirmation.”
Silence enveloped the atmosphere which was already anxiety triggering.
“I don’t want to stay with you.” I pushed through the impact of his dire words on my feelings, and continued questioning.
“Is it really as simple as that?” his jaws clenched.
“I am not obliged to justify everything to you.”
“I am part of this. You most definitely have to.” He bit the inside of his cheek, then carried on.
“I thought that if I would have someone as lonely as me to be my friend, they would be able to get me out of this wretchedness. But no, I couldn’t find consolation when staying with you.” How?
“That c-contradicts what you have said befor-“
“What happened in the past stays in the past. I just wanted to not be uncouth for once, ‘tis all.”
“..I have never loved someone in my life.” His eyes looked at me, lastly “I have never loved mother, neither my year companions, neither anyone, but you. I have put effort to make you gleeful, so why are you disregarding it?” short-lasting silence.
“You didn’t give me enough solace, I don’t want you to be my friend any longer.”
“N-no.” I protested “I will do it.” My voice was getting fainter by then. “ I would do anything for your satisfaction.” My limbs shivered as I slowly walked towards him “I will make your woes perish with the bitter sensation.” The lump at the back of my throat hurt more, the tension in my jaws worsened  “I will liberate you-“ 
“Stop acting like you know anything at all!” That was indeed, my first time hearing him shout. My body stopped moving, although my heart didn’t stop sinking down “This is my life, and I want you out of it.” His hands moved vigorously in his pockets  “Be a good girl, as your mother says, because you are annoying me right now!” For a reason, I saw a droplet of water falling down his cheek. It was thick, its movement hasty; a truthful tear. Yet I didn’t know the trigger behind it. “Just..leave. I don’t need you anymore.”

Those were the last words he said to me before walking away, not acknowledging to me as he walked past me, eyes as dull as ever, steps as leisure as ever, leaving me behind, alone, and lonesome.
My knees gave out, resulting in me falling to my side.
I didn’t blink for quite an unhealthy period.
“Don’t…Don’t leave me, please.”
**‘Without my guidance, failure is your fate.’**

The food I ate tasted bland, the words I read felt meaningless, the hours I slept through were restless. I couldn’t focus on my studies, neither on anything really.
He left me, even though I pleaded. I could have caught up to him, but it wouldn’t have had major effects on him. He had a strong sense of conviction, and each decision he makes has thorough and certain sincerity behind it, making its changing nearly unattainable.
But then, why did a tear come out of his eye? 
Why did he seem as vacillating as I was?
There were many inconsistencies, and Taehyung had never been good at hiding them.
Yet a cursed notion roamed my mind; preserving dignity.
He said that he didn’t want to be my friend any longer, so how could I stoop down and become disgraceful enough to force myself on him?

Mother told me that if I would talk to a person first, it would be stooping down to a lesser level than theirs.
Mother told me a lot of lies.
If not for me talking to him first on that day, I wouldn’t have become friends with him essentially.

I knew that Taehyung discarded me.
I knew very well. Yet I couldn’t submit to it.
I mustered the dregs of bravery I still had left, and decided not to let everything in betwixt end.
 Thus did my legs move on their own towards the door, the station, the area D, and the quarter their house was located in.
Yet again, I felt tingling in my tummy, yet I knew very well that no enjoyable experience was awaiting me.
The sky was still of a citrus color, reminding me of the New year’s Eve’s night, reminding me more of our memories and making me want to clutch them in my hands protectively even more.
I screamed his name; only the dogs answered.
I took out my phone and dialed his number, and screamed even more.
My voice got tired, the hand that held the phone as well, so I eased things on me by stopping the shouts and focusing on the phone.
…
His call tune could be heard from a bit afar.
I walked towards the peals, steadily, which lead me to the back facade of the mansion.

Only to find him.
Laying on the asphalt.
Blood gushing out his mouth and nose.
Limbs twisted and swollen.