The road home was damp and muddy but Kibum couldn't take his eyes off the sky. The rains had made the skies so clear--as if every star in the entire galaxy wanted to come out to greet him. There was a bounce in his step like never before. The conversation with Jinki was painful but necessary. And for the first time in a long time, he was convinced that nothing was going to weigh down his heart anymore. 

Until he turned the corner to his childhood home, that is.

After thunderstorms, he would usually find his grandmother already traipsing around the garden, surveying for any damage to her prized flora. The light of the front porch would be no match for her bright flashlight and everyone could hear her muttering from three houses down. But tonight, it was just silence and darkness that greeted him. Reality hits him hard for why he was really back home.

Kibum opened the small gate and made his way into the house as quietly as he could. He was too tired to handle the questions from his Eomma about where he had been or what he had done. There was really only one person he wanted to talk to, and he carefully approaches her room and opens the door. His Halmeoni looked like she was sleeping, and he didn't want to disturb her, so he stayed at the doorway and stared at her. How he wished she was up. He needed to talk to her so badly.

"Kibum-ah, stop lurking and come in," a frail voice croaks. The young man smiles widely and moves closer to her, elated at the thought of being able to finally spend time with her while she's awake. He carefully takes a seat next to her on her bed. "You saw Jinki today didn't you?" 

Kibum is surprised, to say the least. There really is no one who knows him better than she does. "How did you know, Halemeoni?"

"The last time I saw your eyes that puffy was when you said goodbye to him. He's the only one who can get you to cry so easily."

Kibum reaches for her hand and clasps it in his. "That's not true..." He sweeps the strands of hair off her forehead as he lovingly looked upon her. Under the bright fluorescent lights, the young man could see everything that the disease took from his treasured Halmeoni. Her once pinkish and taut skin had become ashy and sagging. Her full and plump body had diminished into a tiny frame. The bones had protruded from its joints, revealing why it was hard for her to get out of bed. But the disease could not take the wisdom from her eyes. Kibum tried to focus on those beautiful brown eyes that had been his home for all his life. In them, he found solace and comfort more than anywhere else in the world. "Halmeoni, you know that my tears are for you, too."

"Nonsense," she scoffs. "You know how much I hate seeing your tears, Kibum. Don't you dare cry for me. So, did you see how handsome and successful Jinki had become? Did he show you their barn?"

"He did. It was great... I'm happy for them," Kibum says, gently. "Halmeoni... Did you know how sick his Appa became before I left?"

 "Yes..." she replies tenderly. "I knew that Jinki would suddenly have a lot on his plate... Too much for a young boy. How I pitied him. I used to bring him sweets and talk to his mother sometimes. He was a shell of the Jinki you once knew, Kibum... He lived that way for a long time."

"Why didn't you say anything, Halmeoni?" 

"I didn't mean to keep anything from you. We all just wanted the best for you, Kibum. Jinki did. And so did I," she says, reaching out to touch his face. "Did you know that from the moment you were born, I knew that you were meant for greater things--far greater than I could dream of. And I was right, my darling. My heart swells with joy each time I think of you. You've made me so proud... So proud, Kibum. Not just because of what you have achieved, but because you've never changed from being my kind, gentle, sweet boy... Understanding and forgiving... Sometimes giving second chances to people who are worthy of them is a fine way to show your generous spirit."

"Halmeoni..." he says, crouching down to wrap his arms around her. She always knew the right things to say to calm and guide him. "I'm scared."

"You don't have to be... Trust yourself, Kibum. Give it time. He might surprise you."

*****

Minho chuckles to himself as he and Kibum waited for their turn to bat. Physical Education had always been pretty boring to Minho, who excelled at it with his eyes closed. He didn't even have to try to be heaps better at it than anyone else in his class. The natural-born athlete much preferred to be in a high-stakes game with players at his level, instead of having to hold back his talents to give his classmates a chance. Baseball was the most boring sport of all. He hated having to wait so long just for three turns to bat. His eyes usually wandered around the campus, looking for anything interesting. But there was one thing that had been consistent all semester long.

"He's looking at you again," he says to Kibum, who was busy reading another book for one of his advanced classes.

"Who?" He asks, not even looking up from the page. 

"You really have no clue who I'm talking about?" 

"A lot of them look at me so you're going to have to be more specific than that."

"Okay. The only one that matters."

It was enough to grab the teenager's attention away from the brooding work of Tolstoy. His head whips fast towards the direction of Jinki's classroom and he catches the older man looking at him from a distance. He lifts his glasses higher up on his face just to be sure but by this time Jinki had looked down at his desk, scribbling away at his notes. 

"He does that every Thursday," Minho says, looking towards another classmate who was precariously close to a strikeout. "Every time we're out here, he looks for you and just... Stares. It's creepy. You should talk to him about that--DON'T SWING IF THE PITCH IS TOO HIGH!!! What is with everyone, it's not even that difficult! I swear..."

"If you're so bothered about it, then why don't you talk to him?"

"Come on, Kibum," the younger man replies. "It's so awkward being around you two. It's not a secret that he likes you, not that he makes an effort to hide it, but we all know that he's never going to say anything. It's like he's scared of you or something. Can't you be the one to break the ice?"

"I'm not in the habit of hurting my friends," Kibum says, turning back to his book.

"Oh, wow. Okay. I know he's a big brother to us but can't you learn to see him as something more than that? Give him a chance, Kib. He might surprise you."

As Minho dashes to the home plate for his turn at bat, Kibum looks back at the classroom window to find Jinki looking at him again. He smiles and waves at his childhood friend, catching his glasses with his fingers as it started to slide down his face. Even from far away, anyone could see the crimson spread through the older man's cheeks. Jinki waves back clumsily and it was somewhat endearing. For the first time, it was Kibum's turn to stare at the older man. It was almost shameful to admit that he had never given much thought to how handsome Jinki actually was. Maybe Minho was right. All he needed to do was to give him a chance.

*****

Kibum still had to get used to how early mornings started in the countryside. He tried to wake up with everyone else but his best efforts were still an hour or two off. Luckily, his Eomma didn't really expect him to do many chores around the house, but there was one particular project he had in mind: The garden.

As his family did their daily tasks, Kibum was elbow deep in weeds and dead leaves. The sun was out and the young man was working so hard that drops of his sweat could water the plants underneath him. He looked ridiculous in his grandmother's gardening outfit: A bright yellow sunhat with smiling sunflowers, red gardening boots, dirty and grey cloth gardening gloves and a blue apron from the farm which had a picture of a smiling chubby chicken. The fashion editor tried his best to make it look at least presentable with his designer sunglasses, but it only made things worse. Thank God his friends were busy in the mornings, so he was confident that no one would catch a glimpse of his primary colors ensemble.

"It's nice to see someone working on the garden again," a voice says from behind him. 

The young man freezes, knowing exactly who it was--and it just so happened to be the one person that he didn't want to see right now. He slowly looks over his shoulder and confirms his suspicions. It was Jinki. 

"From afar I thought it was your Halmeoni but the sunglasses were a dead giveaway," Jinki says, smirking. 

Kibum rises from the ground, wielding a spade in his hand, as he lowers his glasses and playfully rolls his eyes at Jinki. "Is there something I can help you with?"

The older man holds up a cloth bag. "For your Appa. It's the cheese from yesterday. I just wanted him to have a taste of what we could do with the goat's milk that he sold us to work with... We're really excited about it."

The younger man wipes his brow, annoyed at how sweet Jinki can be sometimes. "Thanks. You guys should be. It's really good cheese. Well, you're going to make me feel like uncivilized if you don't let me drag you in for coffee or tea or whatever. Besides, I can already hear my Halmeoni scolding me if I don't."

"How is she?"

"She's doing as well as can be expected, I guess. Come on in and see for yourself," Kibum says, dusting himself off to prepare to go into the house. He takes the quite bright gear off one by one as Jinki makes his way through the gate and up the path.

Jinki's heart was beating so fast. He was hoping for this outcome, but now that it was happening he was doing his best not to panic. The cheese was, of course, just a rouse to see Kibum again. After their talk, the older man couldn't get a wink of sleep thinking about him. Seeing him working in the garden in that unflattering ensemble was definitely a treat. It took the edge off this nerve-wracking situation. Jinki suddenly felt like a nervous schoolboy again and he couldn't be happier about it. 

"I can take that," the younger man says, taking the bag out of Jinki's hands. "Do you want anything? Coffee?"

"Water would be nice," the older man says with a smile. The pair walk into the Kim house as Kibum awkwardly. The older man instinctively takes a seat at the dinner table, reminiscing about all the times they had spent together at that exact spot.

"Halmeoni will be so glad to see you. She's been gabbing my ear off about you nonstop. 'Jinki did this, and Jinki did that...' You'd think you were her grandson and not me," Kibum says, readying a cool glass of water for his visitor. 

"That's nothing. You should hear the way she talks about you," Jinki replies, chuckling.  

"You've talked to Halmeoni recently?" Kibum asks, sitting beside him. He was surprised at the thought of Jinki paying his family any sort of attention even with him out of the picture.

"I thought you knew..." The older man says, his voice dropping a few notches. He wasn't really sure how Kibum was going to take what he was about to say, so he spoke quite carefully. "I visited her as often as I could after you left."

"Oh," the younger man says, gratefulness coming over him. He had a hard time forgiving himself for not being there for his grandmother for a few years, but at least someone was. "Thank you. I'm sure she appreciates that a lot."

"No, I should be the one thanking her," Jinki replies. "It was difficult back then... She always made sure that I was alright. I don't know if Eomma and I would have made it through without her. She's a really special lady."

"Yes, she is," Kibum replied.

A sad smile came across Jinki's face and it was hard for Kibum to see a glimpse of him that way. All this time he had imagined that Jinki was freely living his own life and having a happy time when they were apart. To see with his own eyes that the older man had suffered greatly was jarring. They shared a few moments in silence, as Jinki nervously drank from the glass in front of him. 

"Come on, let's say hi. This will be a nice surprise for her," Kibum says, getting up and walking towards his grandmother's bedroom. Jinki stands up and walks behind him, smoothing his hair out a little bit. It was the first time in a long time that he was nervous to see her. Maybe it was because this time, he was going to see her with Kibum by his side. 

The younger man creaks the door open slowly and peeks into her room, as he usually does. "Halmeoni? There's someone here to see you... Your favorite person, next to me, of course..." There was no response from her, even if she was usually wide awake at this time of day. Kibum steps into the room to move closer to her, as Jinki watches from the doorway.

"Halmeoni...?" Kibum says, gently her arm to rouse her but nothing was happening. It was like she couldn't hear him at all. The young man's heart falls to his stomach as he realizes that her breathing was incredibly short and shallow. He takes her hand in his and he almost jumps back at how cold she is to the touch. Panicking, he turns to Jinki for help, tears filling his eyes. "Something's wrong, Jinki." 

"Get your car ready and wait there, I'll carry her out. Hurry, Kibum," he replies, not missing a beat.

"Please hold on, Halmeoni," the young man whispers as he springs into action.