Kibum woke up with terrible feeling in his chest the next morning. He couldn’t bear the thought of his best friend and his wolf leaving him so he took a sleeping pill at night. He was sleeping when they were leaving and when the boy opened his eyes, he didn’t want to get up. Because he knew there would be no beautiful lynx he could talk to and there would be no wolf diving him crazy.

And suddenly, the ZOO lost the appeal it had before. Suddenly, the veterinarian didn’t feel like he was at home. But the boy was trying to convince himself that it was just a momentary feeling. That’s why he got up, washed his face and then went out for his usual routine. The ZOO was closed today and he couldn’t have been happier for that because he didn’t feel like facing people and his colleagues when they would find out about missing animals.

The boy went on and checked up on the other animals, feeding them and doing everything he was supposed to but the feeling in his chest was not getting better. The emptiness and loneliness were eating his soul. The place he loved so much felt dead without the bright lynx who always made him laugh and smile.

“No, Kibum. Don’t think about it.” He scolded himself and got back to work, trying to distract himself.

The male felt like he lost his family but at least he had Jinki who would be there for him. Maybe he could get closer to him now that he could spend more time with him.

But Jinki didn’t appear that day. Nor the day after. And Kibum was slowly drowning in his sadness. His decision felt so right back then when he made it. He couldn’t imagine leaving the ZOO and people in it behind, but now that he was the one left behind, he realized that maybe he was wrong all along. Maybe this place was bearable because there was Taemin, making his days brighter. Was he too blind to see it? Did he take the boy for granted?

The answer was obvious. Key never thought that he would loose the carnivore since he was an animal belonging to ZOO. He never thought about how it would feel. And now that he was experiencing it, he didn’t like it at all.

He tried to calm himself down with the thought that he would dream about his.. friends. However, he was proven wrong. No matter how long he slept the first week, there were no dreams about the golden eyed lynx, nor the beautiful wolf. There were no dreams at all. He had no idea how it was possible since he was someone to always dream about something. But the past week, his sleep was too calm and felt too lonely. That’s why he woke up even more tired than he would be with no sleep.

Even his colleagues noticed the change in his behavior and appearance but no one dared to confront him. Jay has asked him if he was sick the first day they met but Key only shook his head and told him not to worry. It was an answer Kibum would never give to anyone. He would always be sassy and playful, so naturally, everyone knew that something was wrong.

And Jinki was still nowhere in sight. The man hasn’t been there ever since the shapeshifters left the ZOO, and the feline-like boy was worried that he disappeared with them. But no one has announced the new boss so it wasn’t possible.

“Get to your senses, you idiot!” he growled at himself while putting away his tools.

Almost two weeks have passed and the male was feeling as bad as never. He had more sleep than he should have but it felt like he wasn’t sleeping at all. He felt like he was always searching for the lynx and wolf in his dreams. All in vain, though. He never found them.

He started being late to work and he was often daydreaming. His work was not as good as it has been before and his colleagues started whispering behind his back. When they tried to help him, he lashed out at them and ever since them, no one really talked to him. He felt like living in a house full of strangers. Or better yet – like a man lost in a strange world. A world where he didn’t belong.

“So you’re still talking to yourself, huh?” familiar voice sounded from behind him and he turned around so quickly that he almost got dizzy.

“Hyung! You’re here!” he said in relief and almost tackled the man in hug.

This didn’t happen often. Almost never, actually. And it surprised the older boy. Jinki laughed lowly but hugged him back before pulling away and looking at him.

“You look terrible, Key.” He said with concern written all over his features.

Kibum snorted and shrugged. “I got used to it. Didn’t you hear the others? I became a freak who talks to animals and looses sleep for god knows what.” He said bitterly and it made the older man worry.

“Okay, let’s go to my office. I need to tell you something anyway.”

“What? They are gonna fire me? Hyung, I swear, I do my job. I’m just distracted.” Key groaned but followed the man.

He could see the looks he got from his colleagues when they saw them walking together. They probably knew that he was going to be fired and they were happy for it. I’m very curious who will take care of all the wild animals. Those cowards definitely won’t be the ones, he thought bitterly and once they were in Jinki’s office, he sat down, sighing.

“What did you want to say then, hyung?” Key asked and looked at Jinki who shook his head.

“Let’s talk about different things first. How are you.. coping up? Now that Tae and Jonghyun are not here?” Jinki asked and it felt like the weight was lifted from Kibum’s shoulders.

For the past days, he felt like nothing really happened. Like everything that happened was just one time dream. But hearing those words from Jinki showed him that he wasn’t dreaming. That it was real.

“You see it yourself, don’t you? I feel like a crap.” He sighed and rubbed his face.

“Why though? You decided to stay, so why are you feeling like this?” Jinki asked gently and Kibum groaned lowly.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t just leave my life behind. It felt so wrong because I have been so happy here, hyung. But now that Taemin is gone, I realized that maybe it was really him, who made me happy here. And here I was, thinking that I will see them every night in my dreams but you know what? They freaking disappeared from my dreams, too! How is that even possible!”

Jinki stayed quiet, letting the boy rant but then hummed lowly. “It’s only normal, Key.”

Kibum’s head snapped up as he looked at him with wide eyes. “What?”

Jinki rubbed his nape before his lips and speaking. “Well, you picked the life without them. So they are trying to stay out of it. Jonghyun told you that when you dreamt of him, he was visiting your dreams, right? Well.. since you rejected him, he has no reason to show up anymore. You didn’t want him in your life like that.” The man said and it was like a punch straight to Kibum’s gut.

It was hurtful but it was true. He was the one who picked this life and he remembered Jonghyun telling him that it will be hard for him, too. And he was right. Key felt like he was slowly withering away. Like he wasn’t really alive.

“Wait-“ he gulped and straightened in his seat. “So it means I will never see them again?” the question came out as a whisper.

“I’m sorry.” Jinki said lowly and Key felt like his world was crumbling down.

He has been making himself feel better with the thought of dreams where he would meet those two but now he found out he would never meet them in his dreams again?

“B-but.. I didn’t know..” he whispered painfully.

“That’s why I told you that you didn’t have to make a decision right a way. You could have talked about it, think about it.. But you rejected the idea straight a way. I’m not trying to hurt you, Key, I really like you. However, I need you to know that Jonghyun really loved you. As his mate and as his lover. They were ready to welcome you among them.” Jinki said lowly and Key winced slightly.

These words were painful. He did feel Jonghyun’s love because he felt the same. He understood that now. But it was too late and he could only listen to things he rejected. He was still curious, though.

“Why.. did he tell me that I would have to go through a change. Is it given that if one’s mate is a human.. they have to change?” he asked softly, looking up at Jinki.

“He didn’t tell you?” he tilted his head to the side and when he saw Kibum’s ashamed expression he sighed in understanding. “You didn’t really give him a chance, right?” When the boy nodded, Jinki sat down and started explaining. “It’s not always given. But.. Jonghyun is an alpha. He’s a leader of their pack and he needs a mate. He needs a mate to stand by his side, to help him lead the pack and.. to give him kids.”

Key’s eyes widened comically, and he gasped. “Wait, kids??? But- I’m a male!”

“It’s.. a bit different when it comes to shapeshifters. And to fated mates. If a male’s mate is a man, his.. reproduction system changes with the change.” He said and when he saw Kibum paling he laughed softly. “Oh, no. Your parts stay where they are. In the same shape. It’s just that.. you will be able to get pregnant.”

Key scrunched his face because this image wasn’t one he wanted to have in his head. “How would it be possible though? Like- how would I go through change? How would the change know that I’m a male and my mate is man. It’s just-“

“Things don’t always have to have a logical explanation, Key. But I can’t.. tell you more. The change is done within privacy. It’s not my tale to tell, I’m sorry.” He said with apologetic smile and Kibum just felt even worse.

He was a hypocrite. He should have been this curious when Jonghyun wanted to explain. But back then, he was too blind and shocked. So now he shouldn’t be so curious when he let go of the chance to be a part of that.

“Let me ask just one more question, hyung. Can just anyone go through the change?”

Jinki’s face fell slightly and he shook his head. “No. Only mates can.”

Key remembered how Taemin told him about Jinki loving Jonghyun’s mother. “Hyung.. is that why you..” he started but bit his lip, not wanting to finish the question.

But Jinki understood and nodded with small smile. It was a sad one. “Yes. Jonghyun’s mother already had a mate. And although he died and she loves me now.. a shapeshifter can have only one mate during their life. I can’t go through the change because I’m not her mate. But it’s okay. We’re happy. We are together and that’s what matters the most.”

Key smiled for the first time because Jinki was glowing and it was beautiful sight. But something nudged his insides. “Wait- but if there can be only one mate.. what about Jonghyun? You said he needs a mate to be with him and give him kids.”

It was obvious that Jinki didn’t want to talk about it. “You said that you had only one question.” He reminded the boy but the latter wasn’t giving up.

“Please.”

“He.. will need to find a female wolf who will give him kids. He won’t get a mate but will have wife and kids.” He said lowly but Key heard him loud and clear.

And his heart broke at the thought of Jonghyun holding and kissing a woman. Or someone else than him in general. His chest felt tight and he had troubles with breathing steadily.

“I’m sorry, Key.” Jinki said, putting a hand on his shoulder but Kibum didn’t really react, still in shock from what he heard. “There’s the thing I wanted to tell you, too.” The man continued, squeezing his shoulder and finally getting Kibum’s attention. “I’m leaving in two days, too. It’s been two weeks and I don’t really have anything else here to do. I was here for Taemin.” He said, almost apologetically and it was just another punch to Key’s guts.

“What?” he whispered and slowly stood up.

“I’m really sorry, Key. I can’t stay here, away from my loved ones. They need me there and I miss my lover.” He said gently and although Kibum could understand he just felt so hurt.

His eyes welled up with tears and since he didn’t want the man to see him cry he just told him ‘take care’ and ‘goodbye’ before he left the office. He couldn’t believe it. Everyone was leaving him. What would happen now that everyone would leave? How was he even going to continue working there if the place lost everything and everyone who mattered? What even was he supposed to do now???

, this hurts, he winced as he headed straight to his apartment. He could see all his colleagues giving him weird glances and since he was crying now, they probably thought that he was really fired. But he didn’t give a damn. He just wanted to get home and cry because he screwed up and his life was falling apart.

He didn’t really remember what happened after he came to the apartment because his mind was too hazy but he knew that he cried a lot.

Kim Kibum cried. The boy who rarely got hurt and rarely cried.

The boy skipped the dinner and just went straight to sleep. He wanted to just sleep and have peaceful night. It was the only night where he will welcome dreamless night because he needed.

But sadly, the things never worked the way he wanted them to and his dreamless sleep turned into the worst nightmare.

He was dreaming about beautiful green eyes and strong arms but those eyes were not looking at him. And those arms were not holding him. They were holding unfamiliar female while those eyes were looking at her lovingly. It sickened Kibum because this was not how it was supposed to be. Jonghyun was his wolf! He couldn’t let him find someone else!

“NO!” he shot up in his bed, panting hard and looking around wildly as if to see if the wolves were somewhere in the room.

Fortunately, it was all just a nightmare but Kibum knew that this could really be the reality. And it would all be his own fault. He couldn’t let that happen.

The boy looked around and once he found his phone and unlocked it, he realized that it was just 3am. But he didn’t care. He dialed the number of his ‘boss’ and waited until he answered the phone, saying his name.

“Hyung, I need you to take me with you.” He said quickly, not even greeting the sleepy sounding male.

“What? What are you talking about?” Jinki groaned into the phone and it sounded like he was sitting up on his bed.

“To Jonghyun. You said you’re going there, right? I am coming with you.” He said firmly but also pleadingly.

“Key, you can’t just..” the man on the other side of the line spoke but Kibum didn’t let him finish.

His heart was beating like crazy because he couldn’t let Jinki go without him. “Hyung, I can’t let Jonghyun to find someone else. I’m his mate. I am. I should be the one he will hold in his arms.”

The silence that followed his statement was unnerving. He had no idea what Jinki thought about it. Maybe he was silently judging him for rejecting the wolf and now trying to go back to him just because there is a chance he could find someone else. But Kibum would have asked him to take him there even if there wasn’t a chance that the wolf would find someone else. He didn’t want to stay in a place where he didn’t have anything. When everyone who mattered would live somewhere else.

“It’s.. a quite a walk. Dangerous walk. Are you sure you wanna go?” Jinki asked and he sounded much more awake than he did a moment ago.

“Yes, of course.” Kibum’s heart skipped a beat, lips finally forming into genuine smile because he knew he would be with his friends soon.

“Okay, then. You have tomorrow to deal with everything here. We leave tomorrow about 8pm. We will take a train and then will walk. Don’t take too much with you.” Jinki explained things and then stayed silent for a moment. “Are you really sure?” he asked again and Key chuckled softly after two weeks of pain.

“I have never been more sure about anything, hyung.”

“Great. Let’s meet in a train station at 8pm then. Goodnight, Key.”

“Goodnight, hyung.” He said and once he put way his phone, he lied down with smile on his lips.

Wait for me, Jonghyun. I’m coming, he thought before he fell asleep. And this time, he got the peaceful sleep he needed.

When he woke up the next morning, he felt too energized and too excited. He went on with his morning routine, making sure to say goodbye to every animal he took care of and after he had lunch, he went to his apartment. He wrote a resignation letter and made sure to leave it on a new boss’ desk. He wouldn’t leave without a proper goodbye to company.

Once he was in front of his wardrobe, he bit his lip. He shouldn’t take too much but what exactly should he take? If he went there to stay, he needed clothes, right? And some cosmetics and things like that, right?

He groaned and took out his duffel bag. He could get enough things inside of that. But Jinki said we will walk. Am I ready for that? The boy groaned again and shook his head. He will think about that later. Now, he needed to pack.

Packing socks and underwear was the easiest. Along with his cosmetics, of course. But picking from his clothes was the worst. Although he didn’t go out often, he still owned many clothes. And what if he would go on a date with his wolf? He needed to look good! But what if staying in that forest meant that he won’t get to go on dates? What if things were different there? He said there are houses and all, though, he told himself, but it just brought out more questions.

Two hours passed, the clock was showing 6pm and Kibum was not done with packing. He kept packing and taking out clothes because he didn’t know what to take with him. But in the end, he just packed some nice jeans and nice shirts and the rest of his clothes were more comfortable ones. Jonghyun loved him even in his working clothes, after all.

The more time passed, the more question the boy had. Will there be normal showers? Should he bring some gifts? Food? Drinks?

The questions were driving him crazy and if he weren’t so stressed out, he would have laughed at himself. Just like Jinki did when he decided to call him.

“Hey. What, did you change your opinion?” Jinki picked up the call and Key groaned.

“No way! But hyung, I don’t know what to pack. I’ve been packing my things for over two or three hours and I feel like giving up! And what about gifts! Should I bring some gifts? Or food? Drinks? Hyung, do I need to bring something??” he whined into the speaker and there was no response for a moment.

But then, Jinki burst out laughing on the other side of the line, and it seemed like he didn’t know when to stop laughing which annoyed Key because; he was having a crisis here!

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Haha. But this is so funny and adorable. Who knew you could be this adorable?” Jinki laughed softly and when Key groaned again he continued. “You don’t have to bring anything, Key. They don’t expect gifts and we will eat something in train. It’s the best that you don’t take any food since we’ll be walking through the woods. And about clothes.. Don’t stress yourself too much. You can always buy new ones. You are not gonna live in a cave or a prison, Key. They go out shopping. Don’t think of them as of animals. They will be offended if they find out.” He chuckled in amusement but Kibum was relieved.

It was a relief to hear that they were still living like normal people, just with benefits of shapeshifting and all that jazz about it.

“Now, go finish packing and everything you need. It’s almost 8 and we can’t miss the train.” Jinki said and Kibum found himself nodding to himself.

“Yes, you’re right. Okay. Thank you, hyung. See you soon.” He said and hang up the phone.

After he finally finished packing he went to take a quick shower and then dressed up comfortably because he knew they will walk a lot. UGH.

He was standing in his apartment and looking around with nostalgic feeling. This has been his home before and he has been happy here. The rest of his clothes would be either thrown out or donated to poor people and he didn’t have a problem with that. They would need it more than he did, actually. Small smile appeared on his lips and he said silent goodbye to his life in the ZOO before he left.

The place was buzzing quietly as if it knew that the most important member of the ‘family’ was leaving the place. Animals were pacing in their cages and his heart squeezed slightly over the fact that he was leaving them but they would find another veterinarian who would take care of them.

With another silent goodbye, this time to all the animals, the boy left the ZOO and headed to the train station. The duffel bag on his should was just slightly heavier than he would want to but he didn’t have a problem carrying it.

Finding Jinki wasn’t hard and when walked up to him, he was slightly embarrassed for the call they had. And it seemed that the man was thinking about it, too, because he was grinning teasingly.

“I see that you packed a lot anyway.” Jinki laughed softly, looking at the boy’s duffel bag.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop laughing at me.” He huffed and noticed that the other male had only smaller backpack on his shoulder. “What the hell, hyung. Did you only pack your ID and phone?”

Jinki laughed once again and shook his head. “No. But like I said, you can always buy new clothes. And I still have some clothes there. It’s my home, you know?” he said with small smile playing on his lips but got surprised when Kibum punched his arm playfully.

“What a hypocrite! So you laugh at me when I go there for the first time while you already have clothes there? Pft.” He huffed but that only made Jinki laugh again.

“Touche. Okay, you’re right. Sorry.” Jinki chuckled and they made themselves comfortable on benches while waiting for the train.

It didn’t take long before the train came and they came inside, finding a booth they could sit in. And once they were settled, it was Kibum’s turn to get nervous. He was squirming in his and playing with his fingers. Jinki noticed it because he smiled in understanding.

“You don’t have to worry, Key. Everything will be fine. And they will be all happy to see you there.” He comforted the boy and although it was nice to hear, the boy just couldn’t relax properly.

“I’m.. fine, hyung. It’s just a huge step. I’m just realizing it now.” He chuckled but it was obvious he was still nervous. “Let’s talk. You said we will walk through the woods and you said that it will be dangerous. Why?”

Now, it was Jinki’s turn to become slightly nervous. “Well.. I’m sure Jonghyun already told you that it’s dangerous, that’s why he had to go with Taemin. No one dares to doubt Jonghyun’s strength. There are some.. shapeshifters that like showing their strength and they are something like.. guards of the forest. They don’t always know everyone but they do know the most important people. And they know me because I’ve been there for years. But.. they might be suspicious of you. I hope that being Jonghyun’s mate will be enough to get through them. I mean, it will be only your word because Jonghyun’s scent must have faded completely by now. But they would never try their luck in hurting their Alpha’s mate so.. I hope it will work. But it will be still dangerous. Apart from shapeshifters from out village.. there are other things out there as well. You will learn about everything while living there.” Jinki explained and Kibum became too absorbed in the new information to be nervous anymore.

Just like Jinki said, they bought some food and eat it while talking about their life in ZOO, giving the place the last thoughts before they decided to get some sleep. They knew that the journey that was awaiting them was going to be a long one and they will need energy.

The clock showed 6am when the train stopped on a train station Kibum has never heard of and they were the only ones who got off there. When the train left again, Kibum looked around and shivered slightly. The place looked so empty. It was no city, for sure. Trees were all around them and even the train station looked like no one has set a foot in there in ages.

“The city is further away. But we,” he started and pointed toward the forest in front of them, across the train station, “are going through that.” He said and then started walking.

Kibum had no other choice than to follow him. “It looks scary.” He admitted and bit his lip as they entered the woods.

The boy could feel the energy buzzing around. It was the same energy Jonghyun brought into the ZOO. As if the place and animals in there knew that there was something around. Something that couldn’t be overpowered. Key shivered and followed Jinki. The air was fresh and much better than in the ZOO and Kibum loved it but he kept looking around himself because he felt like he was being watched. But there was no one around. Or was there?

“Hyung..” he said lowly, catching Jinki’s sleeve and he realized for the first time that the man’s jaw was clenched.

So he noticed, too, he thought and bit his lip. Kibum was not easily scared. He was never scared of animals but this forest felt so weird.

“Keep walking, Key. We’re halfway there. They are just watching.” Jinki whispered although whomever was watching probably heard that.

Kibum nodded and walked next to his ex-boss. His heart was beating like crazy and his hands were clammy, but he was trying to be brave and not to look around.