Waking up feeling groggy and still completely exhausted wasn't any fun, although he had allowed it to happen too many times. He just rather work till he was exhausted then give himself time to think. If he thought to much, then maybe he would allow himself to change his mind. Maybe he would allow himself to go crawling back to the people who had forgotten about him.

"YoungKi?"

His vision wasn't too good and everything spun, or was it him that was spinning? He wasn't quite sure, but he could barely tell that it was his leader that was now staring down at him. He reached up unconsciously as he closed his eyes. He just wanted the spinning to stop.

"YoungKi?!?"

The voice was loud, hurting his head and causing him to flinch. He was surprised to feel a rough hand on his head, but it gently tugged at his hair over and over. It allowed him the chance to open his hair. Everything was still spinning, but he felt a little relief and he was able to focus a little bit more.

"YoungKi, are you ok?"

The first time he heard his soft voice, the tiny hint of worry from his leader. Maybe it would be his last time to? Maybe he just felt bad? Maybe he didn't really care. He dropped his hand realizing it was now raised. He dropped it and curled himself away from his leader. He didn't want his pity. He didn't want his worry. He didn't deserve it when there were so many things he had done to cause so many complications, so many problems.

Rather, he preferred to be with ShinJung. ShinJung now understood him, or at least understood him a little bit more. He just wondered if ShinJung was able to keep his secret. It was ok if he couldn't. He wouldn't blame, scream or be angry at his hyung for spilling his secret, but he preffered the others not to know. He didn't want their attitudes toward him to change just because of his misfortunes. He wanted his misfortunes to be only his.

"Leave."

Youngki managed to spit the word out of his mouth. He didn't want to be rude or sound mean, he just felt as though this was better. It was better for his leader not to worry about him. It was better for him to practice with the others.

"YoungKi, stop! I'm not leaving. You have a high fever."

The words didn't register into his mind though. He just felt sick, causing him to stumble out of bed...nearly into Jason's lap. He was surprised when he felt Jason's warm hands around his waist, but he didn't have time to bother about it. Instead he went straight to the bathroom where he was sick once and then twice...and eventually a third time.

After the third time, he dizzily fell backwards where Jason had been waiting. He was helped back to bed where he mumbled things that he was unaware of.

"Don't worry about me." He sobbed repeatedly, feeling horrible.

Jason listened as he sobbed these words about worrying, leaving, until all of a sudden his sobs turned into flat out crying. He was crying...and the only thing his leader could do was rub his back gently.

"Hyung? What happened? Why is he crying?"

ShinJung dropped down beside his hyung while staring at the maknae. He was too worried.

"He is just really sick, ShinJung. He is a bit delirious now."

Jason stared at ShinJung who pouted. It was obvious that he was worried, and he wondered how worry could come so easily to him. How could he worry over someone he had fought with, argued with and cried over all in the past month?

"He'll be ok, ShinJung. A little rest and he'll be back. Let's eat."

Finding that YoungKi had fallen back asleep, he moved away from the smaller boy. He was starving, as it was now well past noon and he hadn't eaten since the night before. He was happy to taste the yummy noodles, but he was distracted when he noticed that ShinJung wasn't eating. Rather he had taken his leader's spot in comforting YoungKi even as he slept.

Something hit Jason at that moment. He was beginning to realize that he was now part of something that was bigger than himself. He respected ShinJung for realizing that, for taking advantage of it and being kind not only to YoungKi but to all of them.

That's why, after midnight, when they were all leaving to go home separately, he excused himself. He felt something different, something he had never felt before. He walked to the closest convenient store to by medicine, snacks and health drinks before walking back to the company.

He was surprised to find YoungKi shivering and crying on the bed that he had been laying on since morning. He placed the bag onto the floor so that he could take his jacket off and place it over his youngest member. He then opened one of the health drinks and poured some medicine before giving it to his delirious maknae.

"Hyung? Didn' you leave? Why are you here?"

His teeth will chattering as he shivered, but his voice seemed to be a little stronger. He seemed more focused too.

"I'm here to take care of you. Don't worry and just go back to sleep."

It was the first time that he didn't argue with him, but obeyed. He listened to him and actually went to sleep even though he was still shivering. Jason tried everything possible to get him to stop. He placed blanket upon blanket over him, but he was still shivering. He had the chills. He didn't know what else to do but to give up his own body heat. He was reluctant. He had never had to share a bed with another person before, but he decided this was a good way to start.

From today forward, he was trying to be a better hyung and leader. He wanted to understand everything and everyone. He wanted their opinions. He wanted their friendship.

He lifted the blankets a bit hesitantly but layed down next to YoungKi and wrapped an arm around his maknae without a second thought.