Now the line was really getting blurred between you and Doyoung. You wouldn’t deny that. You were aware of the support you effortlessly gained from Sooyoung, Dahee, and pretty much from Jungwoo and Donghyuk as well. But still, that was not the support you needed.

You had been waiting for Taeil’s message he said he was going to text you. Apparently he needed a quite long time to do so. This made you contemplating yourself whether you should make the first move. Again.

Doyoung’s words were replayed in your mind. He was right. You had done this. It resulted in nothing. Taeil still didn’t want to talk about it. About whatever it was that made him slowly go away from you.

Your phone rang when you just arrived home from grocery shopping. You found it weird to see Jaehyun’s name on the caller ID.

“Yes, what’s up, Jaehyun?” you greeted him on the phone.

“Noona, are you busy?”

“I don’t think I am. Why?”

“Would you like to come to Taeyong’s house? We made a mistake ordering food, so we have a lot and we’re calling basically everybody to come.”

You squinted in confusion. What was this kid talking about again?

You hadn’t answered yet but Jaehyun already spoke again. “Okay, I assume it is a yes from you. Mark and Yuta will get you, okay?”

“What?”

“I’ll see you soon. Bye!”

“Wait, Jae—” You glared at your phone in disbelief.

It had been a while since the last time you hang out with the boys—again, since the day Taeil asked for a space. Frankly you missed them too. Unexpected, funny things always happened when these guys were put together in one room. The funniest would still be the endless battle of Doyoung vs Haechan, Johnny clowning Doyoung, and Haechan covering Taeil’s first song ever in any kind of condition. Of course, things were not the same anymore since you and Taeil separated, and Doyoung chose to be on your side.

— 🐇

You were welcomed warmly by Taeyong, Jaehyun and Johnny the moment you arrived at Taeyong’s house. The house owner gave you a long hug as he whispered, “There’s someone we would like you to meet.”

“What?”

“We missed you a lot, by the way,” added Taeyong.

Jaehyun then escorted you to Taeyong’s mini studio without saying any words.

“What is this, Jaehyun?”

He only smiled to you as he knocked the studio door before opening it. He gave you a slight push to enter the room. You were flustered to find Taeil there, seemingly waiting for you.

“Trust us, Noona. You need this,” Jaehyun quickly whispered to you before leaving for real.

“Thanks, Jaehyun.” You heard Taeil speaking. “It’s been a while, Jena.”

Yes, it was hard to believe that Taeil was now before you, smiling with somewhat a modest amount of confidence. Not that usual shy, flustered smile and laugh he gave whenever he got teased or simply when he didn’t know what to do and what to say. Although your feelings were mixed, you were pretty certain that most of that feelings was positive. And you delightfully embraced that feeling.

You tried to stay calm. You just can’t stop your lips from smiling wide. “It’s been a while, yeah.”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m good, just ordinary as usual. How about you? I heard your dearie Sicheng is leaving to China for a while.”

“Yeah, he left me and Yuta, making our room even quieter than ever.”

The first 10 minutes was spent with catching up some news on Yuta buying new books every week and his books started piling up on the desk, Taeyong being a babysitter for his nieces and sometimes he brought the babies along with him to work, Johnny working hard on his new coffee shop with Jaehyun, Jungwoo getting offers for musicals, Donghyuk and Mark collaborating as a duo of singer-songwriter-composer — yes, basically a whole package. Not even once it came to your senses that Doyoung’s name wasn’t mentioned at all. You were too immersed giggling to Taeil’s story and his younger boys being crackheads.

Tired of laughing, you took a deep breath. “I miss this. I miss you. I miss …us. Just, what went wrong between us?”

Taeil avoided your gaze although you gave him a soft look. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

“How can you conclude it that way when we did not even have a proper discussion?”

“Anyway, Jena, what’s important is now.” Taeil now looked at you. The smile on his face was gone. “Do you think we still have a chance?”

“Yes,” you firmly answered. There was no hesitation in your voice.

“What about Doyoung?”

You squinted your eyes. “What about him?”

“Jena, Doyoung is…”

You just had enough people keep bringing up about Doyoung. And you didn’t need one from Taeil too, so you just had to cut him off. “Taeil, I really wish that we have a proper conversation about us. About you and I only, without thinking about the others. I don’t want to hear about Doyoung this and Doyoung that. I thought it should be the two of us that matters right now.”

“I know, but..”

“No, you know what, why don’t we give it some time—again, to think and let’s come back to talk when the topic of ‘us’ is engraved in your head.” You abruptly stood up from your place. “Or else, I might really.. go to Doyoung and…” Your voice cracked, and ended up can’t continue your words. You just regretted raising your voice at him. You can’t even believe yourself blurting out about going to Doyoung.

Taeil got up from his seat and slowly brought himself closer to you. His hands reached your wrists, then moved to your hands and slightly squeezed them. “I’m sorry, Jena. Let’s cool down a bit and talk again later. Is that okay with you?”

You nodded. “I’m sorry too.” You lifted your head and faced him. “How about tomorrow, grab a coffee and donut?”

“Sure,” he agreed as he finally smiled again. “Let’s come out for now. The boys miss you too.”

You nodded again and followed him to leave Taeyong’s mini studio. Taeil paused in front of the open door, making you wonder why. What you saw the moment you came out behind him answered your why. Doyoung was there. You can see the shock in his eyes. He probaby felt outrageous. Meanwhile the others went silent in a heavy awkwardness.

“Jena, what are you doing?” Doyoung tried hard not to be shaky while talking. He gritted his teeth after finishing his words.

You took a glimpse at Taeil who remained silence with his poker face. You scanned how the other boys looked; confused, panicked, speechless. Your brain worked hard to find good words to answer Doyoung. Yet other parts of your brain didn’t get why you had to be nervous to answer him when he was not more than a friend to you. Taeil was the one who was in a relationship sith you.

“I took her here.” Mark tried to be a bell to save you. “Taeyong hyung and I would like to hear her opinion for a new song.”

Doyoung eyed Mark, pretty much showing that he didn’t believe the younger boy.

“Anyways, guys, the foods in the pantry won’t finish themselves. Let’s eat first,” shouted Taeyong, trying to melt down the tension in the air.

“I’m not hungry,” Doyoung said coldly. “I need to go somewhere..”

“Can’t you stay longer?” Yuta asked.

“No. I…” Doyoung made a suddden turn to see you. “Jena, would you come with me now, please?”

You folded your arms. You didn’t know what to say. You looked again carefully at Taeil and the others. If you leave Taeyong’s house, would you lose your gold opportunity to catch up more with Taeil? If you don’t, what would happen to Doyoung?

“I’ll give her a ride home. Basically we only live 5 floors away. Right, Noona?” Mark cut in again.

Doyoung clenched his fist in his pocket. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later, then, Jena.”