Jongin hasn't seen Minseok in years, not since middle school.  But the face of the older man seems ever the same -- pale porcelain skin and those cat-like eyes, ever vigilant.  Jongin blinks slowly as he watches Minseok's face light up and meld with the face from Jongin's memories.

"It's been so long!  Look how big you are!" Minseok exclaims, holding Jongin's hands and spreading his arms out wide as if to look at him.  Jongin can feel himself blushing.

Jongin bends his head down, looking at his feet and curling into himself.  Suddenly, he seems like a super conspicuous giant --  a blundering and gawkish pole next to his tiny perfect hyung.  But soon, Minseok's fingers are interlacing with his and Minseok's hands are jiggling his arms up and down like an excited little kid.

"I'm so happy you go to this school!  I was so shocked when you told me!" Minseok gushes.

Jongin doesn't tell Minseok that one of the main reasons he's applied to this university is because of Minseok.  Instead, he racks his brain to say something intelligent, something other than stupidly remarking about the nice weather or saying that it's really really good to see Minseok for the umpteenth time.  Someone next to Jongin clears their throat and belatedly, Jongin realizes that Kyungsoo is still standing next to him.

"Ah, sorry!  Hyung, this is Do Kyungsoo.  My best friend.  He'll be attending this school too."  Jongin turns to Kyungsoo, who eyes Minseok curiously.  "And this is Kim Minseok hyung.  We were neighbors as children, but I moved away before I graduated middle school.  We've been keeping in touch through emails and texts, but this is the first time we've seen each other in person since then."

Minseok nods.  "We were never able to meet up" Minseok explains to Kyungsoo, who's listening intently with wide curious eyes.  "It was either I was in Seoul or Jongin was in Busan.  Or I was in Guri and Jongin was in Daegu.  You know how he travels for his ballet."

Kyungsoo nods and eyes Jongin knowingly.  Jongin looks away, shifting from one foot to the other but his eyes come back to Minseok before he knows it.  Minseok's eyes are shining like two well oiled morsels of rice cake as he glances down at the books in Kyungsoo's arms.  It almost seems like Minseok is more interested in Kyungsoo than in Jongin.

"Oh, are you taking 'A History of Modern Rock' with Dr. Hwang?" Minseok asks excitedly, pointing to one of Kyungsoo's books.  "That's one of the required textbooks."

Kyungsoo looks surprised and caught off guard, but soon he breaks out into a smile.  "Yes!  Tuesdays at 9am?"

Minseok nods vigorously and the two start an animated conversation about the course.  They speak about how Minseok's taking the same class and oh! we should sit together and work on assignments together and did you know-.  In the midst of all this, Jongin feels himself tossed aside, wondering how this heartfelt reunion between Minseok and Jongin has turned into bonding time between Minseok and Kyungsoo.  Jongin pouts a little, unable to mask the way his lower lip juts out ever so slightly.

"Ah, I'm sorry Jongin-ah" Minseok finally says.  "You must  be hungry, right?  Kyungsoo too?  Let's go over to the cafeteria" Minseok says, gesturing with his hand and walking ahead with his chest puffed up.  "This sunbae will buy you a delicious meal."

 

It's definitely not bad being enrolled in the same school as Minseok is.  But it's definitely not as wonderful as Jongin had expected it to be.  With Minseok being a year ahead of him, Jongin isn't able to see Minseok as much as he'd initially hoped.  Not only do their schedules conflict, but a lot of the time spent hanging out with Minseok is shared time with Kyungsoo because the two are taking a major core class together.

When Jongin had introduced Minseok to Kyungsoo, he definitely hadn't expected this.  Trying not to let an ugly jealous monster to rear it's head at how quickly Kyungsoo and Minseok become friends, Jongin finds himself taking the backseat instead of doing what he really wants to do - catch up with Minseok and reminisce about old times.  

'Ah, if only I took a class with Minseok hyung too' Jongin thinks.

But, for now, he figures a happy Minseok means he is happy too.  So he smiles once more with feeling and does his best to hold on for a bit longer.

 

 

+

 

Minseok has heard a lot about Kyungsoo from Jongin himself.  In the emails they'd exchanged, Jongin often mentions a shorter and shy best friend who clicks with Jongin right away.  Minseok can read between the lines and he sees that Jongin is fond of Kyungsoo.  Now, having met Kyungsoo in the flesh, Minseok can see that Kyungsoo too is fond of the younger boy and though he doesn't say it outright, Minseok is starting to suspect that Kyungsoo likes Jongin as more than just a friend. 

Having this knowledge doesn't make Minseok pursue the full truth.  Instead, Minseok shies away from the subject; he doesn't pry.  Kyungsoo's still too much of a stranger for Minseok to ask outright, even if he wanted to. 

 

Minseok had been shocked to say the least, when they had met again on campus.  Jongin has turned into a tall, fine man with stunning proportions.  He's much different from the shorter, painfully shy boy who'd followed him around the neighborhood as a child.  At first, Minseok's alarmed by the emotions ignited by the older and more mature Jongin, but soon Minseok learns to repress them, placing them on the backburner for a better future for Jongin.  If things are going so well with Kyungsoo, Minseok figures it's only right for him to be the one who bows out.

'Not that I had a chance in the first place', Minseok thinks a little bitterly.

Kyungsoo is not only adorable, but well read and an interesting conversationalist.  Minseok finds himself talking with Kyungsoo about things ranging from problematic statistics in journal articles to proper care of household succulents.  He's delighted to learn that Kyungsoo likes the same kind of music that Minseok likes.  And when Kyungsoo quietly sings a verse of Park Hyo Shin's "Snow Flower" for Minseok, Minseok becomes a fan of his voice as well.  Handsome, smart, with a perfect voice - Kyungsoo seems like the perfect match for Jongin.

"Kyungsoo is such a good kid" he tells Jongin when they're alone together.  "He's a bright kid.  He's going places.  I'm glad he's by your side."

Jongin nods thoughtfully.  But before Jongin can open his mouth to verbalize his agreement, Minseok keeps on talking.  He keeps talking, not because he finds it easy to do so, but because he doesn't want to hear Jongin's voice.  For some reason, Minseok finds himself unable to hear Kyungsoo's praises coming from Jongin's lips.  For some reason, Minseok finds it hard to hear that Jongin too likes Kyungsoo, as Kyungsoo does him.  

'Not yet' Minseok tells himself.  'I can't handle it just yet but-'

He just wants to wait until he gets over his little crush.

'Soon' he finds himself thinking.  'Soon.'

 

 

+

 

Jongin has always thought of Minseok as the cool hyung - a hyung who was so disciplined and so steadfast in his beliefs that it was hard not to look up to him.  Jongin remembers how Minseok had stuck up to bullies, how Minseok had lost all that weight to play soccer, gritting his teeth from the exertion of it all.  It was remembering Minseok's resolve and determination that makes Jongin push himself to become a better dancer.  It's having Minseok as a role model that keeps Jongin from giving up his feelings - no matter how much it seems like the older man is falling for Do Kyungsoo.

 

It's to get closer to Minseok that Jongin starts to frequent the Cashew Cafe right across the street from campus.  He knows it's one of Minseok's favorite coffee haunts.  And today, before class, Jongin finds himself asking Minseok if he can tag along to the Cafe with him.

"Of course" Minseok tells him, smiling softly.

Jongin is happy that he's caught Minseok this early in the morning, before Kyungsoo has a chance to get to campus.  Sleepy, but smug, Jongin can't supress the grin that alights his face.  Once they enter the Cafe, Jongin orders two lattes - one takeout for Kyungsoo and one for himself.  He opens his mouth again to order for Minseok, but he realizes with a frown that he's not sure what Minseok's go-to drink is. 

"Hyung, order something?" Jongin asks, nodding over to the cashier.  "My tre-"

But Minseok's already holding out a bank card, saying, "And one small iced Americano please.  I'll pay for all three."

Jongin grimaces, feeling a little lost as he watches the employee hand Minseok a reciept with his card back.

"I was going to treat you this time" Jongin complains, burying his nose into the collar of the hoodie he has on.

Minseok smiles at him, ruffling his hair.  "Still sleepy?" Minseok asks.  "Of course, I'm going to treat.  I'm your sunbae, after all."

And Jongin wants to protest, wants to say something about how he's been getting up super early just to do this small thing for Minseok.  He wants to boast about how he's not a little kid anymore, but an adult that drinks coffee, albeit doused with milk.  But Minseok's looking up at the menu board with a musing expression on his face.

"So Kyungsoo likes lattes, does he?" Minseok mutters.  "That's cute."

Jongin's heart chills like the drink in Minseok's cup.  A lump forms in his throat and when the drinks are ready, all he can manage is a small, choked "Thank you hyung" as they walk out of the Cafe.

 

 

+

 

The days get chillier as the semester flies by.  Minseok's more than exhausted from studying for finals, but there's one thing he's looking forward to.

"You're going to Jongin's recital at the end of the term, right?" Minseok asks Kyungsoo after class.

Kyungsoo nods.  Kyungsoo too has darker circles than usual and his glasses seem to sag on the bridge of his nose.

"You're going too, right Hyung?" Kyungsoo asks, pushing his glasses up.  "We can go together.  I don't know anyone else that's going."

Minseok smiles, wrapping an arm ground Kyungsoo's shoulders. 

"Of course" Minseok remarks.  "Who else would I go with?"

 

When Jongin's recital day rolls around, Minseok's a little more than sleep deprived.  He feels delirious and perhaps it'd be wiser to take a day to catch up on sleep and relieve some stress.  But the thought of seeing Jongin in the flesh, dancing again, gives Minseok goosebumps.  He tries to dial down his giddiness, but ends up spending way too much brain power on picking out what he's going to wear.  And before Minseok goes to pick up Kyungsoo at his apartment, Minseok finds himself stopping at the florist to purchase a large bouquet of calla lillies.

"These are beautiful, hyung" Kyungsoo tells him, staring at the tall florals with awe.  "They must have been expensive."

Minseok shrugs with an awkward grin, taking out one flower to hand to Kyungsoo as an apology for being late.  Minseok's juggling a part-time job on top of maintaining his scholarship, so he really shouldn't be blowing money on things like this.  But.. the tall and elegant white blossoms remind Minseok of Jongin so much that he can't resist, smiling at the beautiful arrangement.

Because Kyungsoo's apartment is walking distance from campus, they travel on foot for the rest of the way.  Minseok's heart rate gets quicker with each expectant step.  But once they're at the bottom of the granite stairs that lead to the recital hall, Minseok stops short.  A melancholy thought precipitates in his head and he looks down at the bouquet with a forlorn expression.

"Hyung?" Kyungsoo asks worryingly.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" Minseok says automatically, plastering on a smile.  "It's just-"  Minseok shoves the bouquet into Kyungsoo's arms.  "You should give these to him afterwards."

He realizes that he's been too full of himself tonight, his excitement getting the better of him.

When Kyungsoo frowns in confusion, Minseok gives him a wry grin and adds, "He'll like it better coming from you."