I am so nervous that my hands are starting to feel clammy and my heart is beating so fast. It is because we will perform next or is it because Jae’s hands are intertwined in mine I don’t know.

“Stop fidgeting, relax!” Jae placed his other free hand on my shoulders.

“Don’t tell me that because I know you’re nervous too!” I tried prying off my hands but he won’t budge.

“I am not.” He answered back.

“Really, don’t you have any trace of humbleness in your body?” we are now on our usual routine of bickering.

“I am not just born to lie so I am telling you the truth.” he said while smirking.

“Okay superstar!”

Thankfully our conversation lessened my nervousness but my heart is still thumping hard.

“Let’s just do our best arasso?” he tilted up my chin before we went to our designated place backstage.

“Uhm n-nae…” I was stupefied because of our proximity that words failed me and my heart went in a roller coaster ride.

“Hwaiting!” he cheered while pinching my cheeks.

“Ack! Ya, how many times do I have to tell you not to do that?” I slapped his chest playfully while he just laughed.

“Jaejoong entrance B please, you performance will start soon.” A flushed student informed him while trying to hide her embarrassment.

“Arasso, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” He smiled towards the girl causing her to almost kiss the wall.

“Meanie! You shouldn’t do that to people.” I reprimanded him.

“Whatever!” he waved at me so I went towards entrance A.

“Dee…” he called me so I looked back.

“Ahm… nothing.” He walked fast towards the other entrance.

“Joongie ah…” I called him.

“Anio...” I smiled before turning my back on him and saw him smile too.

I giggled at our own foolishness and that etched a smile at my face even when our performance started.

When I started playing our song memories of how Jae and I did that song flooded my mind. However, when my eyes caught a glimpse of the video playing at the screen I remembered Tabi and how we used to do those things before.

Those lyrics written by Jae perfectly describe how I felt towards Tabi.

Unfortunately he’s just a friend

I can’t tell him because it may end

The friendship I treasured for so long

Forever by his side is where I want to belong

I wanted to tell him ‘I love you’

But I don’t have the courage to

So instead I’ll sing this song until the end

Until he realize that I am not just a friend

Memories of him taking care of Tiffany, him laughing with her, filled my head. I guess the song is right, unfortunately he’s just a friend in fact he is MY BEST FRIEND! Dang, that hurts!

I can’t control my tears as it flowed freely on my cheeks.

Then I heard Joongie sang, I closed my eyes as the song filled my heart. It is as if it is meant to heal my heart, I continued playing the piano accompanying him. We played the song over and over during rehearsal but this night is different then I suddenly remembered his face as he called me just a few minutes ago.

My fingers stopped playing, I looked up at him and our eyes met. As if like me he was awakened in a trance. My heart beat faster and my gaze never left his eyes, we stood up and walk towards the center still looking at each other.

His eyes are full of emotions I can’t understand that his eyes sparkled in a nice way that it made me smile. His face changed into Tabi’s and then back to Jae it made me confused but this part of the song reminds me of happy times so my smile remained on my lips.

Then a thought just came up…

“I wanted to tell you…”

I love you my friend

I want to be with you until the end

I touched Joongie’s cheeks and wiped the tears as he did the same to me, we were smiling like fools when a thunderous applause broke that moment. We bowed to the crowed before the curtain closed and then I saw all of my friends smiling like crazy and clapping as if their hands would fall anytime soon. My gaze lingered a bit on the empty seat beside omma and my heart fell.

For the nth time that night my heart got broken, I sobbed uncontrollably and in an instant I was engulfed into a tight embrace of Joongie’s strong arms.