"I need to make sure she's alive at least." -Jung Hoseok

Chapter 8: The Beast Announces A Royal Ball

There are first times for everything.

The first time Hamin became a woman Taehyung found himself attracted to was when she was a sophomore in high school. Taehyung had always seen Hamin as his own little sister, being just as protective over her as Jimin and wanting the best for her. When she had a trashy date to a school dance, he was the first to beat him up (although Jimin came later that night and did most of the punching). When she failed a test, he was always there to tutor her and comfort her saying, “Good grades aren’t everything in life.” When she laughed, he laughed with her. When she cried, he wiped her tears. He was indeed the best oppa anyone could ask for.

Until he started wanting to become something more. 

Hamin had stopped growing her sophomore year of high school and so whatever she ate made her grow sideways instead of upwards. Knowing that, she tried to control her big appetite and exercise more regularly. She soon grew into a fit, young lady and Taehyung hadn’t thought much of it until one day, she smiled at him. And despite that being a common sight, his heart said otherwise. 

It was a typical Saturday afternoon and college student Taehyung was spending it in the library. Jimin had refused to spend his “golden free time” in such a place and went out with some friends, leaving Taehyung all alone. But he wasn’t alone for long, as Hamin agreed to keep him company when he texted her to ask if she wanted to come to the library.

“Oppa!” Hamin waved to Taehyung when she got to his campus library, joining his table and sitting across from him. There weren’t many people around them, allowing Hamin and Taehyung to be able to whisper to each other without feeling bad about bothering anyone. Hamin pulled out her high school workbooks for class and soon, the two began to work quietly as the sunshine lit up their books. 

“Oppa, can you help me with this problem?” Hamin reached across and tapped on Taehyung’s arm, whispering. He looked up from where he was reading and nodded, making Hamin smile as she got up to sit next to him, pushing her workbook towards him.

Taehyung eyed the problem and soon opened his mouth, “So if you take this equation and insert the given numbers…”

Taehyung solved the problem in less than a minute, explaining step by step with his mechanical pencil. Hamin beamed. Who needed an expensive tutor when Taehyung was right there?

“Oh I get it now!” she grinned at him and gave him a thumbs up, “Thank you oppa.”

Taehyung smiled back as he returned her gaze but soon stopped. 

The way her hair fell back as the sun shined on her smiling face, and the way a gentle breeze carried her light, peachy scent as her eyes bent like crescent moons were enough to make Taehyung hold his breath. He had seen her smile hundreds of times, but that day she looked different.

She looked like a dream.

And like a cliche, romantic movie scene, everything in the world stopped for Taehyung. His eyes were glued on the girl in front of him and all he could do was stare at her awestruck, his heart racing and his face blushing.

She wasn’t the same Park Hamin to him anymore ever since. 

From there everything Hamin did looked even more lovable in Taehyung’s eyes and soon the girl he grew up with became a girl he wanted to grow old with. But despite his growing feelings as time passed, he couldn’t really do anything about it. All he could do was stay by her side, waiting for her to look at him even after he and Jimin graduated from college.

Now he didn’t want to wait anymore.

Not especially after knowing there was a beastly Jung Hoseok on the run.

So he did what he had always dreamed of doing for the past four years.

He kissed her.

Dreams come true sometimes in this world.

Hamin blinked as her mind registered what was happening: Taehyung’s firm grip held her in place with one arm around her waist and the other supporting her nape as his soft lips locked with her own. She felt the air grow hot.

It was her first kiss.

There really are first times for everything.

She froze, not knowing what to do. She didn’t push him away, but she didn’t kiss him back either. She just stood there, her hands placed on his chest, curled into little fists as her head was raised upwards due to their height difference. So many thoughts ran through her head, questioning why and how this was happening. She had never imagined Taehyung to have feelings for her but the way his lips moved gently yet passionately around hers proved to her that he did.

It wasn’t until she began to tremble when Taehyung slowly pulled away, feeling her subtle shaking. 

“Min-ah,” he whispered, his hot breath on her lips and his eyes lowered. She paused for a second, until she couldn’t handle it anymore. She stepped back, using her fists to break free from his grasp, trying to catch her own breath. 

“...”

“...”

An awkward silence filled the air as the two stood there, not able to look at each other.

“I um…” Taehyung began but was soon cut off with Hamin’s voice.

“Do you,” she gulped as she raised her gaze to look at the man she had shared her first kiss with, “like me?”

“You know I do,” Taehyung smiled weakly, his own eyes on the ground.

“No but...do you like me as a little sister or as…” Hamin couldn’t seem to finish her sentence. She felt stupid for asking a rather dumb and obvious question; why would he have kissed her in the first place if he liked her only as his bestie’s sister? But she couldn’t believe everything that had happened just now. She needed a confirmation—she couldn’t believe the fact that Taehyung saw her as more than just a little sister.

“I like you for who you are,” Taehyung said, answering her question somewhat. He finally looked at her and nodded.

“I like you Park Hamin. And it’s been a while since I have.”

“...what?” Hamin shook her head, trying to register reality. Her already beating heart began to beat faster.

Kim Taehyung. My very own oppa...likes me? she took a moment to process everything then stopped.

What am I supposed to say? she thought. She couldn’t seem to find a response to his confession. How was she supposed to respond to all this?

“I’m sorry I acted rashly and selfishly, just now” Taehyung responded instead, seeing Hamin not knowing what to do. His voice became deeper, “But I don’t want to hide my feelings for you anymore. I won’t rush you or force you to return my feelings or anything but…”

“But..?” Hamin waited.

“But…” Taehyung briefly bit his lip as he stared into her eyes, “Could you at least give oppa a chance?”

Hamin stopped. Her brain was already about to explode yet the pleading look in Taehyung’s eyes made her unable to say no.

So she nodded slowly instead. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Taehyung, but mostly because she had never thought of him as more than an older brother figure. Could she give him a chance though? That meant risking all they had in the past; they would no longer be the same.

Well, it was too late to turn back now.

“Thank you,” Taehyung finally smiled, relieved and jittery from the enormous leap of courage he took. His face was heated and he felt like he could melt any moment now.

“I’ll um leave you now so you can get some rest for tomorrow,” Hamin blurted rapidly when she felt the awkwardness hit again. And before Taehyung could stop her, she ran out of his home.

He stared at her now-empty spot and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“God, Kim Taehyung; did you really just do that?” Taehyung muttered to himself, shaking his head as he realized he had just jeopardized his whole relationship with Hamin.

“You’re an idiot.”

He wasn’t sure what was going to happen now, but whatever the case...he didn’t fully regret anything, his long fingers on his lips still hot from moments before.

***

“Hoseok-ah,” Namjoon knocked on Hoseok’s door. Hoseok shifted in his bed, confused as to why he heard Namjoon’s voice and not Hamin’s at this time.

“You awake?” Namjoon quietly came in and walked over to his bedside. Hoseok ignored his question with an answer too obvious; of course he was awake without his sedative Park Hamin.

“Where’s Park Hamin?” he asked, eyebrows raised. He had expected her to at least be standing behind Namjoon or something, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“Yeah...about that,” Namjoon scratched the side of his face as he tried to figure out how to break the news to his sleepless friend.

“She’s...not feeling well tonight so I told her to rest,” he said, glancing at Hoseok rather nervously. Hoseok’s raised eyebrows knitted together. 

“But tomorrow’s not even that busy for us so it won’t hurt if you don’t get enough sleep for just one night—” Namjoon said, using both his hands in an attempt to make things better.

“She’s sick?” Hoseok’s expression grew cold as he cut Namjoon off.

“Yeah. She called earlier to tell me,” Namjoon nodded.

But she was just fine yesterday...did something happen? Hoseok couldn’t help but worry a little more than he should. He paused for a moment, realizing how he wasn’t too worried about himself not getting enough sleep; he was more concerned with Hamin’s well-being.

And that made him uncomfortable yet...it didn’t change the fact that he was already getting up to grab his phone.

“What are you doing?” Namjoon asked, surprised at Hoseok’s sudden movement.

“I need to make sure she’s alive at least,” Hoseok said as he scrolled through his contacts. 

“Don’t bother someone who’s trying to rest,” Namjoon stopped Hoseok, placing his hand on his shoulder. Hoseok’s thumb stopped moving as he glanced at Namjoon.

“Is it serious? What does she have—a cold? A stomachache? A fever? Does she live with family members that can take care of—” Hoseok threw the dozens of questions he had onto Namjoon, who held up his hands.

“Whoa slow down. One at a time man,” Namjoon said, shaking his head before tilting it in confusion. 

Was Hoseok always this worried when someone got sick? he thought to himself. Namjoon couldn’t even remember the last time Hoseok asked about him when he was ill in the past, and the two had been friends for years. Hamin, on the other hand, was just an employee, was she not?

Or...did she mean something more to Jung Hoseok?

 It was weird, but Namjoon just concluded that perhaps the reason Hoseok was so worked up was because his sleep remedy was unavailable and he wouldn’t get the sleep he needed. Otherwise why would Hoseok be so...worried?  

“Well she didn’t sound sick. She said she wasn’t feeling very well, but I doubt it’s anything serious since she could still give me a call. And I think she said she lives with her older brother. We met his friend too last time remember? Mr. Kim Taehyung?” Namjoon began to tell his interrogator the information he knew. Hoseok grimaced at Taehyung’s name, as he thought it was rather unnecessary for Namjoon to even bring up that guy’s name.

Well it’s good she has someone to look after her, Hoseok said internally as he stared at his phone, ignoring the unpleasantness he got from hearing an unwanted name seconds ago. 

“I hope she feels better soon though,” Namjoon continued, “Maybe give her a call tomorrow morning or something.”

“Me?” Hoseok whipped his head around to look at Namjoon with large eyes.

“Yeah you,” Namjoon nodded.

“Why don’t you do it?” Hoseok shot back. 

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who’s been wanting to call her to “make sure she’s alive” no?” Namjoon pointed at the phone in Hoseok’s hands.

Hoseok opened his mouth to retort back but found himself unable to do so. It was true that he had wanted to call her to make sure she was okay, but at the same time Namjoon’s sudden suggestion startled him. It was as if he’d been caught worrying a little too much about someone...which really was the case.