Daewon was very upset with Changkyun at the moment. He was extremely uncomfortable so he was making it his dad’s problem, and now both of them were just as uncomfortable as each other if not more. Changkyun had been sitting on this train for the past few hours and it was really starting to take its toll on his lower back and hips, and Daewon was protesting the lack of motion and upright position by kicking and stretching out. It felt like he was curled up in the center of his pelvis and Changkyun wanted very desperately to walk around to ease that tension and stretch, but again, he was on a train carriage and his space to move was very limited with the rush of people that had moved in and with his change in center of gravity it wasn't the smartest choice for him to stand up on an unstable ride. It was much easier to wait out the ride than to try and move around the other people on the same route, even if he was so terribly uncomfortable. 

Changkyun was on his way home and he was dreadfully, painfully nervous. It was spring break and after accepting the invitation to go on vacation with his family, he was on his way there and preparing for the worst. He knew what his parents were like, and he knew this day was not going to end well in the slightest. He wished this was something he could call off and avoid entirely but  these were his parents, therefore that was impossible and this was inevitable. Being alone and facing his parents made it worse and he had found himself wishing several times that he had a hand to hold going into this endeavor. He knew his friends would gladly take on that task for him, but this was not something he would dare drag them into. It would be overwhelming and scary for outsiders not familiar with the Im family.

Changkyun knew for a fact that Jooheon wanted to go the most out of everyone. The two of them had grown so close so quickly and after that first initial phone call and after Changkyun’s panic attack had ceased to wrack his body, Jooheon had told him many times that he was there for him and that he didn’t have to suffer so much alone. He had suggested tagging along on the trip several times to support Changkyun so he wasn't alone but each time was shot down. Jooheon had grown protective over Changkyun as of late and if he were present for the incoming -show he would attempt to rectify the situation and that would make things worse. It would never be his intention, but Changkyun knew better. It was nice knowing he wanted to be there as a pillar of safety in a moment of terror, but this was something he had to do on his own. Secretly, Changkyun did want Jooheon there with him, and if he had to pick anyone to be with him it would be him, but he had committed to protecting the older from the wrath of his parents. 

More than he wanted Jooheon there, Changkyun so desperately wanted his brother with him but again, this fight was not his. As he sat there, Changkyun mulled over the conversation he’d had over the phone with his hyung about what his plan was with telling his parents: just being honest and expecting the worst. Telling their parents anything was often followed by their opinion and this always left their youngest son confused and discouraged by what they had to say, and this time would be no different. There was no way he could change their outlook on things and get them to have a constructive conversation about any part of Changkyun's situation. This was frightening and after hearing Changkyun’s short and blunt plan, Changwoo offered to stand with him and act as a mediator in case things got ugly (which they were going to). It was a tempting offer and one Changkyun deeply considered, but he declined on the basis that he had to fight his own battles and he had to stop hiding behind Changwoo. It was something he had done his whole life, and it wasn’t fair to him when it involved something this deep and earth-shattering. Changkyun would manage on his own and he wouldn't need Changwoo to settle his problems for him this time. That was for certain. And even though he absolutely despised the idea, Changwoo accepted his brother's plan and wished him the best of luck for when the day came. Changkyun felt the sincerity in his brother's voice and it was comforting to have someone on his side no matter what.

Despite his words and supportive nature, Changkyun knew Changwoo's antics better than anyone. Even if he claimed he was going to stay out of it, he wasn't going to stay out of it because it was different when it came to his brother. Changkyun had needed to meticulously plan when he was going to arrive at his parents' and it had to be a time when Changwoo wasn't there. On the same phone call, Changkyun asked his brother when he had planned to arrive at their parents’ house before they had to travel by plane to Jeju Island. Changwoo was still busy with his job and wasn’t the kind of person to relax and take time off until the very last day. Their flight was that Wednesday and given the two days before, Changwoo was going to continue working until the last minute to use his vacation days wisely. And just as Changkyun expected, Changwoo was going to drive to the house the night before their flight. This was perfect. Changkyun claimed he was going to arrive that morning, joking that Changwoo would be there in time to calm their parents after his announcement, but really he was going to arrive on that unassuming Monday morning to break the news to his parents and give them a few days before their vacation if they still chose to go. This would guarantee Changwoo wouldn't be present for the drama, and Changkyun could suffer on his own with no consequence on his brother's part. Just the way he wanted. 

With a soft groan, Changkyun shifted in his seat, adjusting his posture in hopes that it would appease his son into a better position and much to his surprise it did. Daewon gave one final kick to Changkyun’s ribs before he was settling and finally letting Changkyun catch a break after an hour of nonstop shifting and pummeling his insides. Feeling relief and a sigh trapped in his chest, he rubbed his round belly as if thanking his son for understanding the memo. Changkyun easily ignored the stare he received from the person sitting across from him after muttering a few silent affirmations under his breath aimed towards Daewon. He was way too pregnant to care or be traveling like this, but he had no other choice if he wanted to do this on his own. He was just happy he hadn't taken a bus; that would be an even worse experience. 

The name of the stop Changkyun was getting off at was swiftly approaching and he felt his stomach flip, not due to Daewon’s wiggling but due to his own nerves. His parents were growing closer and the thought brought a cold sweat to the back of his neck, stiff goose bumps appearing on the skin along his arms. He had been creating a dialogue in his head to prepare himself for what was going to happen but he knew that was doing him no good anyway. No matter what he was going to say, no matter how much he rehearsed his responses, none of that was going to change how his parents were going to react. It was pretty useless, but it ultimately made him feel less anxious so where was the harm? Even if he was giving himself some false hope, he was feeling some semblance of peace in his heart. 

Changkyun's mind was blurry and distracted as he lifted himself from his seat with effort and walked off the train into the station. He was moving as fast as he could but his legs needed to stretch before walking at a decent speed with his size weighing him down. His wide waddle was a nuisance among the bustle of people around him, but he did his best to get out of the way so he didn't inconvenience anyone. He needed to pull off to the side anyway to phone a taxi so he could get home. It was ridiculous how many modes of transportation he would need to take to get home and back, but it was necessary if he wanted to do all of this on his own. He would need that taxi, and he was debating whether or not he should tell the driver to stay on the street in front of his house for another five minutes or so because he was going to need them shortly after dropping him off. Changkyun wished he had brought someone along so he didn't have to sit on the train at all or take a taxi ride twice and pay the expensive fee. Maybe he should have just taken Jooheon or Hyungwon with him. It was too late now to change that. 

By the time he arrived at his childhood home in the taxi that cost him a fortune, his back was in pain, his legs, feet, and ankles were sore, he was starving, and he was completely exhausted both mentally and physically. On a regular day, he would be giving into this discomfort and would be transparent with how he was feeling with everyone who would and wouldn't listen. Minhyuk would say he was in a 'bad mood' and would call him 'cranky', but his anxiety was fueling his will to push through and hide it this time. Acting out how unwell he was feeling wouldn't do him any good here, and he was still trying to calm his brain enough to allow himself to breathe deeply. His heart was racing and usually this would be paired with flutters from Daewon, but he was still, sensing his father's distress and giving him a moment to panic. He was so sweet already and Changkyun patted his bump lightly, deriving strength from his son. He had faith in himself that he could do this, it was the outcome he was worried about. 

Changkyun gained enough courage to walk to the front door in a timely manner, enjoying the early spring air for a few seconds before his day turned for the worse. It was still chilly but gradually warming up and today was one of those warmer days. Changkyun wished he could enjoy it more but he was at the front door now and he had to step inside. His parents had a habit of leaving the door unlocked since they lived in such a safe neighborhood, and expecting him to arrive, they were leaving it open for him so he wouldn't need to get out his key. It was kind and thoughtful, but his parents were not going to be as welcoming once they saw him. He was big enough that they would be able to tell right away, and his winter coat wasn't helping how round he looked. He was looking rather huge, and while it was something he was still self-conscious about, there was also pride at how big his son was getting. He would be arriving in nine weeks, and it was sad to think that Daewon's grandparents weren't going to be there to meet him. It had been a thought in the back of his head all this time, but the proximity was making it more prominent and the hurt in his heart was excruciating. 

Changkyun inhaled deeply, shakily, and finally walked through that door, steps careful as he entered his home. Changkyun took a deep sigh as he readied himself for what was to come, preparing himself for all the verbal abuse and strong feelings that were about to come his way. He kept his head down, not sure he would be able to lift his sight with how inferior he was feeling now that he was in the four walls. If his parents were to be in the front room, he would be met immediately with harsh words and yelling, and making eye contact would be extremely painful during that. But Changkyun had to stand up for himself at least a little; he would need to look them in the eyes and tell them they were having a grandchild. It was going to be difficult, but they needed to know. 

Assuming he was safe, Changkyun lifted his head and glanced around the front sitting room, eyes scanning every object present until he was met with nothing and he was thankful he wasn't immediately greeted with angry parents. He had a little more time to collect his thoughts before he had to break it to them, and he was going to spend that time breathing and rehearsing what he was going to say at least. He thought about where his ultrasound print was in his wallet, hoping it was enough to maybe give him some time with his parents and maybe dull the impact. He really hoped his son wouldn't feel all of his stress approaching and that he could remain happy and carefree, safely inside of him. That's all Changkyun wanted for Daewon.

Changkyun heard footsteps approaching and this was it, it was happening. He was about to be face to face with one or both parents and he was going to get an earful. His heart was bracing itself, a hand going to rest just below his bump where he was feeling a muscle twitch. That was happening a lot more recently and it mostly happened when he was either stressed or after he's moved too much, and both were very relevant for the time. He was trying to will it away as he waited for whoever was going to walk through the threshold, either his mother or his father. He was waiting for the shock, the denial, and then the anger, and then the yelling and him getting thrown out of the house. It was coming, and he was waiting with bated breath. 

Except he wasn't met with his mother or father, but instead Changwoo, and the two of them locked eyes wide in shock. His older brother was the last person he expected to be at the house and while he was confused he was there, he would be lying if he said there wasn't any relief in his heart seeing him. The comfort he felt was like a weight lifted off his shoulders and he felt his posture relax with his presence. He was so happy to see his hyung, but he wasn't supposed to be home; he told him he wasn't going to be home. Changkyun felt a tiny bit betrayed.

"You shouldn't be here," Changkyun spoke harshly under his breath and through his teeth, not exactly a whisper but not at full volume either, "You're supposed to be working right now, miles away from here." 

"I am, but I know you too well and I knew you were going to pull something like this," Changwoo reminded as he quickly closed the distance between them, hugging Changkyun tightly once he was close enough. Changkyun hugged him back just as tightly, feeling himself relax immensely in his hold, "And I think I should be here anyway. You're going to need me, little brother," and Changkyun had to agree with him. He was really going to need him if he had any hopes of escaping out of this house alive. Changwoo pulled away to look Changkyun in the eyes, firm and affirming, "I'm here for you and I always will be. We both know how this is going to end, but it will be okay, and you will be okay. I know that with my whole heart," he had so much faith in his younger brother and this moment was no different. Changkyun would handle his own, he would be there to keep the peace. He could do this. 

Changkyun felt Daewon move again and kick his feet where he had fancied kicking them for what felt like days now in the same exact spot. The novelty was quickly wearing off for Changkyun, but he remembered that Changwoo had never had the chance to feel his nephew move before and that was unacceptable in his eyes. Deciding to rectify that, he reached out and took his brother's hand without much explanation and placed it right where his son was moving the most, "Daewon has hiccups right now," he revealed as he realized his son yet again had those accursed and uncomfortable hiccups. He had them so often nowadays and that was something Changkyun didn't think he could ever get tired of.

Studying where his hand was resting, Changwoo felt a strong nudge on his palm and he felt himself melt at the sensation of his nephew kicking. It was magical getting to feel this little boy he had heard so much about over the phone move and say hello to him. Changwoo hadn't felt a baby kick in a very long time, and the last time he remembered feeling a baby kick, it was his own brother. He had been four at the time, most likely days before Changkyun was born, and he remembered how their mother had called him over to feel Changkyun moving with an excited smile on her face. Being so young he hadn't known what to expect, but it was such a core memory for him that it had stuck until now. He remembered that moment so vividly, and to be standing here now feeling his brother's baby kick was incredibly special to him. It made him immensely happy, and his smile showcased that perfectly, "Wow," he whispered under his breath, so awestruck by what he was feeling, "It's good to finally meet you," Changwoo hummed, so happy he could experience this moment before it was too late. Changkyun wouldn't be pregnant for much longer, and with their busy schedules, it would most likely be impossible to meet before he gave birth. It was a sad fact, but he was so happy he could have this moment to remember forever. 

Changkyun felt such joy in his heart watching his hyung coo at his unborn son. It was evident he loved him already and that was the best thing he could ever ask for. The two most important people in his life were getting along, and it was enough to make him tear up at the long awaited reunion. Changkyun could barely handle it but he had to keep himself together, "I have something for you," he remembered in an attempt at stopping tears from dropping and flowing from his eyes. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the scan prints he so carefully brought with him, delighted to see they weren't crushed from all the moving he had done to get here, "I've started seeing my doctor every two weeks now and this is the last scan I'll have before he's here," there were growth scans he could potentially need to do, but his doctor didn't think those would be all that necessary. Daewon was a good size and good weight, there weren't a lot of qualms about his growth. It was surreal knowing this was his last scan; it just made things seem that much closer, "My doctor says everything is looking amazing and he's healthy. He's absolutely perfect." 

Changkyun held out his scan and Changwoo took it so delicately as though he were afraid to ruin it. He used both hands to hold it in front of him, taking in every inch of every little detail on the scan with a bright and infatuated smile plastered to his face. He was seeing his nephew in front of him while he was still inside his brother. Technology was amazing. He could see everything that made up this baby and it was like he was seeing him in person. Changkyun noted that at least he looked happy about the baby, "Look at him. He's getting so big.”

“Very big," Changkyun agreed, focusing again on the pain in his lower back, the aching knees and feet, and the huge belly he was sporting. His son was indeed a very big baby, "He's measuring a few weeks ahead of where he actually is, and weighs a little over a pound over the average. And I still have nine weeks left of all of this," Changkyun had so much time left, but at the same time so little. And Changkyun didn't mind his size if it meant his son was healthy (something that had taken him a while to come to terms with).

"I'm happy to hear he's doing so well," Changwoo cooed happily, smile never wavering. There was a moment of silence before his smile finally fell and was replaced with a worried frown. He cleared his throat, mind back to reality as he remembered the situation his little brother was in. He had to remember why Changkyun was there to begin with, "Are you going to show Mom and Dad?" he asked cautiously, wondering if maybe this could deter or at least delay their certain livid reactions. He highly doubted it, but it could be worth a shot if it was going to make things better. 

"I'm going to try to," Changkyun assured, knowing it wasn't going to be easy to get them to look at the scans, but if he could manage a second maybe it could do something meaningful for his parents. He would have to try it first, because even though they might reject his existence, Changkyun still wanted them to have a moment where they could see their grandchild, "I want them to see him," before he was no longer allowed in the same room as them. 

The growing volume of footsteps closed in on them, coming from the hall leading from the kitchen where they both knew their parents were, and both men knew what was coming. Whichever parent it was heading this way, Changkyun braced himself for what was going to come his way. He folded his hands tightly in front of him, nails dragging at his skin in anxiety as the footsteps seemed to get louder. He stepped one step closer to Changwoo and pressed against his arm to keep him close, using his hand to cup his lower belly to derive comfort from his son. This was self soothing in the finest way he could in such a terrifying and gut wrenching moment. He in a deep and shaky breath as he watched his mother walk into the room followed by his father. He braced himself for the worst because it was on its way. 

They didn't notice at first, and Changkyun was confident about that. The smiles on their faces were bright and welcoming, excited to see their youngest son after months apart. Changkyun held his breath and watched the smiles melt off their faces as their eyes traveled from his face down to his very prominent, very obvious pregnancy bump. The shock in their eyes was unsettling and it had Changkyun wanting to disappear into the walls, never to appear again. Their previous greetings were left on the tips of their tongues and were now dead silent. He hadn't been expecting a warm welcome but his heart still dropped into his stomach with their reactions. 

The silence was suffocating and Changkyun could start sobbing with how uncomfortable he was feeling. He started to scratch hard at his pant leg, pinching what he could grab with his fingers. In such a moment, Daewon was ever so on brand and started squirming like crazy, kicking and flailing his limbs at such a bad time like this. Changkyun was really struggling to breathe and the baby pressing against his lungs was making it very hard to inhale when he needed it so badly, "Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad," Changkyun greeted, voice sounding so small and nervous. It wasn't helping his case but he was truly terrified of what was going to happen next. He was surprised he made it this far. He held the scan in his hands tightly, careful not to bend or crumple the paper. He wanted nothing more than to show off his son proudly and tell them all about him, but he just knew he wasn't going to get the chance. They wouldn't want to hear a word from him. 

"What did you do?" his mother asked quietly before anger spread across her face in a flash. Her stare was burning holes into Changkyun's soul, "What. Did. You. Do?" she asked again, angrier and harsher with each word spoken as if she was baring her teeth with a growl. Changkyun flinched at her tone, feeling his heart clench in fear as it braced itself for what was to come. How he would love to walk away and never turn back.  

"Mom..." Changkyun started with a wavering voice but had no idea what he was going to say next. His tongue froze and his throat closed up, head starting to hurt from holding his breath. Changkyun was starting to have those tell tale signs of a panic attack and no, he couldn't do this right now, not when he was in front of his parents and trying to tell them about his unborn son, their unborn grandchild.  Changwoo was all too familiar with the state of mind his little brother was in and it broke his heart to see it happening in front of him when trying to speak to his own parents. In an attempt at comforting him, he quickly grabbed his hand to hold tight but Changkyun didn't squeeze back, which was disconcerting. His body felt too numb to react appropriately, but how his heart wished his brother could just hold him in a safe and warm hug as he told their parents everything he could.

"I'm going to ask a third time. What did you do?" she spoke the harshest she had yet and the aggression was thick in tone; Changkyun could feel it on his neck like a knife against his throat. Apparently, Changkyun wasn't speaking fast enough to his mother's liking so she took a step forward toward her son with a stomp and heavy frown. Why? He wasn't sure why, but he was preparing for pain, or whatever else she had planned for him. She wasn't the physical type of person and never had been but fear was all evident in his mind and he acted upon the idea in case she went through with it. 

It was completely instinctual, but feeling the need to protect his baby from any possible harm, he reflexively placed a firm hand on his bump as if to guard Daewon from whatever was coming. He yanked his other hand out of Changwoo's grasp and stuck it out in front of him to hold her back if she got closer, ready to use all his strength to push back. He was protecting his baby the best he could in such an aggressive situation, afraid of the worst to come. Changwoo remained at his side with a strong stance, but also looked as if he was ready to react to his mother's advances. Both brothers were going to do whatever was necessary to keep his baby boy safe. 

Their mother eyed Changkyun's belly and the hand holding it protectively and scoffed, evil smile curling her lips as she looked back at their father, who had remained quiet the entire duration but still looked furious. Changkyun possibly feared his words more than his mother's, "I can't believe this," she scoffed as if a joke had been shared but nothing about this was amusing. She tossed her hands up before letting them fall to slap her thighs, turning to face her husband in disbelief. Both looked as though they had words on the tips of their tongues and Changkyun was not looking forward to what they had to say. 

"I'm eight months pregnant and due May 17th," Changkyun blurted out as he kept their attention, wanting them to hear as much information as possible to see if it made any difference before he was shut out. Hopefully it would strike a chord with them, "I'm super healthy and the baby is thriving. Your grandchild is doing super well," grandchild. He was hoping that word would stick out to them the most and maybe they would have some sympathy for the both of them. Changwoo wasn't saying anything yet, giving his little brother his time on his own to handle the situation. There wasn't much to go off of, but he thought it was smart for Changkyun to mention the baby to try and change their minds. Changwoo bit his tongue and waited for what happened next, "Everything should turn out perfectly, and I am due around finals week but that won't stop me from working hard if I go into labor during that time. I've already spoken to my professors and there are options for me in case I do go into labor before I take my finals. I'm still passing all my classes and doing well in school, and I won't drop out or fall behind. I'll graduate on time and follow my course schedule," schooling was also important to his parents. If he made it clear he was going to be in school and not give up maybe that would also help his case. He was hoping so at least, "And I'll keep working and keep up with bills and baby costs-," he had much more on his mind to say, but his mother was ripping him out of his thoughts by stepping closer to him and roughly grabbing his arm. 

It caught both Changkyun and Changwoo off guard completely. Neither of their parents had ever put their hands on either of them, and for their mother to be the first to do so in such a sensitive situation was shocking. Changkyun's body went numb as his mother's hand made contact, thumb digging into his bicep as she shook it, effectively knocking the ultrasound he had been holding out of his hand. Changkyun felt like he was having an out-of-body experience and like he was watching this disaster unfold. He could see the frozen shock on his face and could see how still he was, he could see Changwoo looking the exact same only his mouth hung open in surprise. He told himself he should be moving and retaliating to his mother's advances, doing something to protect himself and Daewon, but he felt he couldn't. This is what he feared the most. 

"Mom?" Changkyun asked, voice sounding so small and scared. His instinct was to pull away but he didn't think he could with how strong her grip was. He felt rooted in place.

"How could you!?" she asked violently, voice raising sharply and making Changkyun flinch out of his trance, "No son of mine was ever supposed to have a baby with another man," the disgust in her voice and the anger in her features was terrifying, and it was all slowly bringing Changkyun out of his fog along with each shake she did of her son's arm, "This is a sin! You know better than to have done something as stupid as this!" and Changkyun couldn't argue that what he had managed to do was careless and stupid, but this wasn't the worst thing that could ever happen, especially when he loved his son so much. Why couldn't his mother see that? 

"We taught you better," their father finally chimed in, fuming mad and unable to say the words he was thinking, “We raised you right in the church, you were only ever supposed to be in a relationship with women of God and now look at you,” the disgust in his voice shattered Changkyun’s heart. He was feeling very apologetic as his parent pleasing tendencies started to come forward, but no. He was not going to apologize when he was doing what was right and doing this for the little boy he loved so much. Daewon was such a good reminder of his will to fight, especially when he kicked with every word Changkyun spoke. He was still flailing limbs and flipping in his belly, all the more reason for Changkyun to keep his mother away from his son. 

Changwoo tried to reason with both their parents and attempt damage control; tried to get their mother to calm down and at least release Changkyun’s arm before she really hurt him but it was almost useless with her. When she had her mind set to something she always made sure she went through with it. With Changkyun being in the room, he might as well have not been there trying his best to save his brother. The panic running through his veins was pumping his body full of adrenaline and he was trying his best to protect his little brother as much as he could. He didn't experience the same childhood Changkyun had with their parents, but even now he was afraid of his mother and what she was capable of. 

Changkyun could take the insults and the harsh words, he was a professional at doing that, but he could not let the next move his mother made slide without consequence. In his still blurry vision, shock blanketing his vision, he could see his mother wind up her arm as though she was going to hit him upside the head, or maybe to slap him, but he didn't wait around to find out what her intentions were because he was soon acting, shaking off the shock and finally retaliating. He was going to need to protect himself if he was going to protect his son at the same time, "Stop!" he shouted, sticking his free arm out to hold his mother's back, blocking any advance she could potentially make, "You can’t do that to me!” he didn’t think he would ever say something along those lines to his mother, never thought he would have the courage to stand up for himself with her, but it felt like a fire in his chest. He felt a passion for his son’s safety more than his own, “You can’t!” she looked shocked to hear Changkyun speak out against her, but that shock was sharpening into ever worse anger. She looked livid, beyond consoling at this point. 

“Let go, Mom!” Changwoo demanded forcefully, holding their mother’s wrist while the other hand tried to hold Changkyun back. His voice was booming and scary, and Changkyun would be letting go immediately upon his request, “You need to stop this!”

"You're a disgrace!" she shouted, rage from deep inside her gut belted out these three simple words and it made Changkyun feel sick to his stomach. That was something he had tried so hard to avoid hearing from both of his parents, and here he was living out several bad dreams he'd had for years. He didn't have to think about it critically or very hard at all: his parents truly hated him now, "You've disgraced the family name! You've embarrassed us as parents!"

"Mom, please!" Changwoo tried again, hand on his mother's wrist almost yanking as he tried to pry her off her youngest son, "You have to let him go! You're hurting him!" the panic flooding his system as he watched his mother hurt his little brother was overwhelming and despite the love and respect he had for her, there was no justifying her actions in the slightest. He was fully on Changkyun’s side and was trying his best to help him but he felt as though he were failing. He never wanted to fail his little brother, “Please!” 

Seeing no point in trying to correct this situation since it was too far gone and getting them nowhere, Changkyun gained enough courage to demand of his mother with his whole chest, “Get off me!” he yelled maybe a little too loudly as he wrenched his arm from his mother’s strong grasp. He could feel the bruises start to bloom on his bicep and he knew the muscles there were going to be sore for quite a bit of time. His mother made sure to leave her mark on him for days to come, which was so very like her. He held his arm in his hand, trying to keep the pain from stinging as he stepped away from his mother and brother as Changwoo held their mother back. 

“Mom, please look at this realistically! Please?” Changwoo attempted as he placed himself between Changkyun and their mother, shielding him from any more advances she might try to make. He wasn’t going to let her get that far again and was trying his best at damage control, if that was possible anymore, “You love Changkyun and he’s your son. Can you really not look past all of this and forgive him?" Changkyun didn't like the choice of words his brother was using but he knew what Changwoo was doing. He had to use specific words if he was going to convince their parents to calm and come to a conclusion, "We're all sinners and we all make mistakes. Please forgive him and show mercy, like how God would," Changwoo didn't go to church anymore and didn't practice, but after a lifetime of indoctrination, he knew exactly what to say to possibly turn their hearts, "He's your son."

But it wasn't enough and their mother was not done hurting Changkyun, "He's no son of ours anymore," it was like a stab to the heart, but honestly, what else was Changkyun expecting? He was expecting exactly this, but it was worse now that it was actually happening. She looked over Changwoo's shoulder right at Changkyun and her eyes were piercing, staring daggers into her youngest son's eyes and soul. He wanted to cower but he stood his ground, a hand still on his round bump as he felt Daewon surprisingly settle down again after moving and kicking. He always had such perfect timing. 

"Don't say that. You don't mean that," Changwoo tried, voice violently shaking. Changkyun felt the way his voice reverberated against his skull, "You can't mean that."

“Don’t come back,” she finalized, anger still fuming but somehow maintaining a sense of calm over her body. It was horribly unsettling and sent a shiver up Changkyun's spine and made his knees weak like he was going to pass out, “Don’t ever come back. You’re no longer a part of this family.” 

And that was it; everything was settled. It all happened within minutes but it had felt like an hour to Changkyun. He had expected his visit to last at least a little longer, but his parents were so set in their ways that he should have known there would be immediate anger and dissension. They already had their minds made up within seconds. His father had not protested against his mother's words and instead looked in agreement with them. That hurt as well, but again, it was something Changkyun had been expecting. He wasn't wanted, he wasn't welcomed, he was now a trespasser in what used to be his childhood home. The space was suffocating and it was getting harder and harder to breathe while in the presence of the two people who were supposed to love him unconditionally and support him through everything and all of his endeavors. He needed to get out of the house to find his peace, but leaving meant this would be the last time he would ever get the chance to stand in the living room, the last time he would ever be able to see the family pictures hanging on the walls, and the last time he would ever be able to call the house his home. He would never get another step through the front door and would never be able to return. 

"Leave this house," his father hissed, pointing at the door with no mercy in his voice, "Now."

There was no point in prolonging the inevitable. Changkyun quickly turned, careful not to trip or lose balance as the weight of his son threw him off so he didn't embarrass himself. Remaining collected, Changkyun headed towards the front door without making eye contact with either of his parents, afraid to see what their disappointed features looked like as he passed by. His feet felt heavy and like cinderblocks as they dragged across the carpet but he kept moving and moving faster as he headed out the front door, the sentiment of the feeling of home no longer a feeling he would experience in his heart. His chest ached, but he kept moving, heading wherever his feet were willing to take him. He was in a daze as he continued walking away from the front door and made it midway to the public sidewalk before he realized where he was. 

But Changwoo stopped him before he could go any further, grabbing his wrist so gently as he swiftly guided him towards his car. Changkyun stumbled after his brother, quickly changing directions and following where he knew he would be safe which would be anywhere with Changwoo. When he had watched his brother head out of the house with nowhere to go, Changwoo had grown worried and followed suit, unable to stick around his parents after what happened. He left quickly and had chased after Changkyun once he left the house, making it clear that if his brother was leaving, he was leaving too. Changkyun needed to get away from this horror show and so he took him to the car and helped him inside before backing up and speeding off onto the road. They were heading somewhere. Where? Neither of them knew; just away from the house. The ride was quiet at first, neither one knowing what to say after the life-changing ordeal they navigated. 

Now minutes away from the house and away from the hostility, Changkyun let himself truly process what had just happened to him. His mother and father didn't want him anymore and they weren't interested in his son at all, hadn't even given him the chance, and that was heartbreaking. And to think they didn't see their own son the way he saw Daewon was mindblowing because he would do absolutely anything for his baby boy. They had immediate hatred in their hearts without letting Changkyun explain or waiting to see his side and they were so willing to throw away nineteen years of love and childhood for their son. They tossed him out so easily, and Changkyun just didn’t understand. The thoughts he was having were plucking at his heartstrings and before he knew it, he was sobbing into his hands in the front seat. The intensity of the situation came crashing down on him and he could feel how his body was starting to shake with anxiety and frustration. This wasn't fair at all. 

He was hurting so terribly and he could feel how his heart was completely broken into pieces, and in the safety of Changwoo's car he finally couldn't contain it anymore without losing his mind. He hadn't wanted to show it in front of his parents, trying to stand his ground and stay strong for himself and Daewon while they bore down on him, but now he couldn't possibly contain the devastation now permanently embedded in his heart. He knew how safe he was with Changwoo and there was no judgment between the both of them. Thinking back on how terrible everything had gone, he still felt better knowing he wasn't alone even now. At least he had one person on his side, and it just so happened to be his favorite person in the world. It was comforting knowing he was there for him. 

The pair ended up somewhere quiet and where there weren't any people populating the area so they could have some privacy without strangers seeing Changkyun in such distress. Changwoo had chosen the first empty parking lot they passed by that was available, and he chose this specific parking lot because it was the closest one that would allow him to properly console Changkyun. He was a wreck in the passenger seat, agonizing and wallowing wails filling the car with pained and deafening noise. Changwoo had wanted nothing more than to stop and soothe his little brother, give him a hug, and tell him everything was going to be okay, anything to comfort him. Listening to Changkyun cry was absolutely killing him. 

Once parked in a parking spot, Changwoo turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt as fast as he could so he could lean over the center console to pull his little brother into an awkwardly angled but very much-needed hug. He pulled Changkyun into his chest, holding the back of his head so tightly as he continued to cry, using his other hand to rub at his back to hopefully urge out the sobs that were choking his lungs. He was crying even harder now, balling his eyes out as he released all his crushed emotions into his brother's willing chest. It was the kind of crying where you can't catch your breath and your head starts to hurt from lack of oxygen, and it was devastating Changwoo immensely. Seeing his brother like this brought up bad memories from when he was in high school and from when their parents were especially hard on him, but even then this was terribly worse. Everything about this was so sad and Changwoo was barely handling it for himself. He couldn't fathom how Changkyun was feeling right now. 

The two sat in silence apart from Changkyun's shaky wails as they filled the small space with echoes of despair. Changwoo would have tried to speak and share comforting words, but what could he say? What would Changkyun say in response? Before this event transpired, they both knew what was going to happen in the end and there was nothing either of them could say that could make him feel better about his outcome. Changkyun didn't have his parents anymore and that was an odd sensation he hadn't thought he would ever have to experience. Even being familiar with their conservative and traditional views and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that their reactions were going to be extreme and radical, it was still crushing, especially now that it was a reality. Viewing from a parental standpoint, Changkyun didn't think he could ever do something as horrendous as this to Daewon. No child should ever have to see this side of the first people they ever knew and loved. 

Changkyun had taken his time to cry his eyes out, and Changwoo had graciously let him have his time to do so. He had to admit that crying was making him feel infinitely better and he was releasing months of pent-up emotion and stoic facades he had tried to uphold confidently. He had tried so hard to stay so strong and collected, but it felt good to be vulnerable for a few minutes with his brother. Changwoo had always been his safe place, "Thank you for trying," he hiccuped, finally pulling away from Changwoo to look him in the eyes to deliver his sincerity. The older brother noticed how red and swollen his younger brother's eyes already were, cheeks shiny with tears. He looked so broken and so sad and it broke Changwoo's heart even more, "Thank you for doing what you did while in there. There wasn't much you could do, but you bought me some time with them. And you've still stuck beside me. That's the most I could ever ask of you," a broken frown returned and he hid his face again so Changwoo didn't have to see him look so hurt. He was feeling immensely emotional, "Thank you, hyung." 

Changwoo let that settle in his heart, but he couldn't help but think he still hadn't been enough, "I wish I could have done more," Changwoo swallowed as he patted Changkyun's back lovingly, wishing he had spoken up more, maybe stopped their mother from touching him altogether, maybe tried and spoke more so he could help Changkyun convince them this wasn't terrible, maybe tried to pick the ultrasound up off the floor so he could shove in their faces and show their parents. He wondered if it was still there now and if they were going to take the time to ever look, "I could always do more for you whenever you had issues. I just haven't done enough. I never have," he had lacked in so many ways as the older brother and he was deeply disappointed in himself. 

"You did all that you could, but it doesn't matter now," Changkyun shook his head, pulling away again so he could rub at his eyes and wipe away the tears that clung to his eyelashes. His eyes were feeling itchy and sore, "What's done is done and honestly... I feel so much relief," Changwoo cocked an eyebrow as curiosity and confusion registered in his brain. Changkyun delivered an explanation without being asked for one, "This is something I've worried about for so long and tried to hide for as long as possible, and from the beginning, I prepared for this day. To finally be done and to not have to worry about it any longer is relieving. It's done now, and all I can do is move on with my life and prepare for my son," his hand rested on his belly, something he was realizing he was doing a lot lately. He drew a circle with his finger, waiting patiently for Daewon to respond in some way. 

Changwoo smiled seeing his brother already looking at the positives. That was always good to do when something detrim