This was originally supposed to finish off the previous chapter but I removed it so I could get an update out there sooner but I regret that decision. So now I'm posting it as a stand alone. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint <<33 Happy New Year! 

Changkyun shakily hung up the phone, setting it on the bed beside him and following that by scrubbing his face with his hands a little too harshly. He chewed on his bottom lip, working it close to raw as he glanced from his phone screen to his bedroom door. He had somewhere to be thanks to his obstetrician's valiant efforts, and whether or not he appreciated those efforts was a little cloudy. 

Checkups were important when you were pregnant, Changkyun understood that entirely, but having one scheduled during his stay home had him a little on edge. He had just finished his lunch and had taken a trip to the bathroom when he received that fated call from his OB, reminding him that he had a transfer appointment today in the clinic closest to him. It was something they had organized before winter break had begun and it had slipped Changkyun’s mind entirely. He blamed it on the anxiety and the desperation to act as though nothing was different about him in front of his parents. 

He needed an appointment to check on Baby Boy's development so they could make sure everything was running smoothly and they needed every milestone documented on file for his sake. Changkyun had reluctantly agreed at first, understanding his doctor’s concern. That had been a hard phone call to make when Changkyun was constantly worrying about his parents walking in on him and discovering his secret. Luckily, he finished his conversation with both his OB/GYN and the clinic he was transferring to without his parents interrupting and had everything settled. But now he found himself in another predicament. 

He was supposed to make a twenty-minute trip out to the clinic, but he had no car, and taking a bus in his city system would be miserable and he wouldn't arrive on time. Not only that, but he needed an excuse to travel away from the house and he had none. He had no friends to visit besides Hyungwon and visiting him seemed silly since they were roommates and were going to see each other once they returned to campus. His parents were going to question it and Changkyun didn't think he could come up with a good enough lie to cover his trace. He had no clue how he was going to do this, but he had to find a way to go to the clinic, and within the next ten minutes or he could possibly miss it and all that effort would go to waste. He should have planned better and scheduled something after he knew he would be home for Christmas. His OB was on top of things though; she needed a routine checkup on the record and Changkyun had failed to stop her. 

His last-ditch resort, although his only option, was to ask his brother for help. He had his own car and he was a good excuse to get out of the house without being suspicious. If he could get his brother to keep his secret and get him to drive him, it was the perfect plan and he would be safe enough to go back to campus with a mother and father still interested in his well-being. He needed that for now, he could deal with the repercussions later. For now, he had to conquer one issue at a time. 

He needed to start by telling his brother but that had his heart sinking into his stomach. He had no qualms when it came to his older brother but this was something huge and he wasn't sure how he would handle the news. It wasn't ideal; he was young and not in a relationship. Changwoo would surely have some things to say and that was something Changkyun truly did not want to hear. If his brother turned against him, that would be the end of it and Changkyun really wouldn't know what to do with himself. Changwoo was the only person he could count on, and if he lost that then what would be left of him? 

He didn't know the answer to that question, but he did know that he needed to leave soon if he wanted to make it to his appointment. He got to his feet, feeling his weight settle on his heels as he encouraged himself to step further and leave his bedroom. He felt a flutter from inside his belly, his son no doubt shifting after the sudden movement of Changkyun standing. A hand cupped the bump under his oversized sweater and stayed there, gaining calm and comfort from it. He needed to leave for him, no matter how much he didn't want to. He needed to leave to make sure he was okay, something that took a while for Changkyun to genuinely care about. It was shameful, but at least he was doing better now. 

Changkyun left his bedroom with quiet and swift feet, not wanting to gain any attention from anyone he didn't want it from. He didn't need his mother nor his father finding out his plans for the day. Again, he couldn't think up a lie good enough to cover his tracks; a lie believable enough that made sense. 

Changkyun swiftly made it to his brother's bedroom where the door was open, inviting anyone who wanted to talk in. He could see his hyung laying down, completely relaxed into his pillows and that made it a little easier to approach him with his issues. It was more motivation for Changkyun to enter the room, but his stomach was turning more as the nerves got to him and were making him anxious. He slid past the open door and closed it behind him; he didn't want his mother joining this conversation if she walked by. 

Changwoo perked up at his entrance, setting his phone on his chest so he could give his little brother his full attention, "Hey Changkyun," Changwoo greeted with a wide smile. That smile was incredibly comforting to Changkyun, but this time it was overly nerve-wracking. It could disappear within seconds with what Changkyun had to say, "What can I do ya for?” 

Changkyun felt himself lunge in anxiety, unaware of his body’s physical reaction to his anxiety, ”I need you to keep your mouth shut or I'll kill you," he hissed, getting closer to his older brother so he didn't have to speak, but whisper instead. Changwoo's features startled at the intensity of his words and he nodded immediately, reading the room and clearing his head for full attention. Both knew that his threat was empty, but it was still an alarming thing to say, "Okay? I need to tell you something.” 

"Okay," Changwoo nodded, sitting up so he could face Changkyun better. His hands were in his lap, clasped together tightly. Judging by Changkyun's tone, this was serious and not meant to be taken as a joke, "I'm listening.” 

Changkyun inhaled deeply enough to make his chest hurt and exhaled heavily, wanting nothing more than to disappear. He swallowed thickly, "Look, I'm pregnant and I have to go to the doctor soon, and you better not tell Mom or Dad or they'll never see you again," he threatened even though his brother was older than him. Again, an empty threat, but Changkyun needed him to follow directions and keep quiet, "They cannot know, you cannot tell them," he emphasized, "If you do I won't live to see my 19th birthday," his birthday was in a month and he was confident he would be dead before then if they found out. 

There had been a few seconds of processing on Changwoo's part, his little brother's words shocking him into silence, "I won't tell," he assured confidently, still taking some time to process what he had just been told. Just for some extra clarification, he asked, "Are you really pregnant?" his eyes did a quick scan down to Changkyun's covered middle, not expecting to see a bump but still curious. Changkyun was well covered; there was nothing to see. 

"Sadly," Changkyun huffed, slumping from his previously stick-straight posture. His hands were still clenched at his sides, nails digging into his palms. He could feel the skin tearing, "This wasn't supposed to happen," his voice cracked and shook, feeling his mouth dry up in a second. He felt he needed to state the obvious, not wanting details to get mixed up or things to be assumed. Changwoo could think what he wanted but that was something Changkyun wanted to avoid. He couldn't help but think the worst with his brother, despite the impossibility of his hatred towards him, "Honestly, this hadn't been in my plans. I... I...," he couldn't continue speaking, words escaping him and head emptying into nothing. He wanted to apologize but what good would that do? This was a hard conversation to have. 

Changwoo stared in utter silence for another few seconds, eyes unsure and confused and Changkyun felt momentarily bad for forcing all of this onto his brother in such a short amount of time. He didn't have a part in this but Changkyun needed him as a part of it, involving him in every detail. Now he was part of his tangle of issues and it made his gut twist in guilt. 

The silence was deafening, and Changkyun watched as Changwoo finally nodded with pursed lips. His next words were unknown and they had Changkyun's heart racing in panic, "You'll have to tell Mom and Dad eventually," he stated, that elder brother type cast taking over his posture, "And you have a lot of growing up to do before you have that baby," he locked eyes with Changkyun and while he had been expecting disappointment or possible anger, he saw compassion and affirmation. 

"I do," Changkyun agreed. He had already done a lot of that on his own, but he guessed there was plenty to still learn, "And I'm doing what I can.”

"I know you are," Changwoo smiled comfortingly. He knew Changkyun very well and if he knew his brother, he knew he was working hard and working his best, "But there's always plenty to learn," he watched as Changkyun's eyes lowered and shook, locking onto the carpet underneath Changwoo's socked feet, "And I'll be there for you every step of the way. I promise you that.” 

Changkyun's gaze flicked back to Changwoo's eyes, hope filling them to the brim, "You will?”

"Of course I will," Changwoo laughed as though Changkyun had told him a joke. He might as well have, asking such a silly question of his brother. The one person who has been there for him every step of his life. He would be there in this instance as well; no question, "Who do you think I am?”

"My hyung," Changkyun spoke shyly, his foolishness flooding back to his head, "Only my best friend.” 

Changwoo laughed, endeared by his brother while simultaneously worrying for him. Changkyun had to be that nervous to think Changwoo would think ill of him and it had his heart longing for his usually controlled brother, “You’re really sticking it to Mom and Dad aren’t you, little brother?” Changwoo chuckled to himself, finding humor in the situation. He loved his parents but he saw the way they treated Changkyun and it had never sat well with him. 

All Changkyun could do was nod in response. He was indeed going against their mother and father, but it was not something to celebrate or be proud of. He was doing a lot to hurt himself. Changwoo continued as there was a burning question on his mind, curious as all get out, "How did you get to be pregnant anyway?” 

Changkyun’s heart was racing again, not particularly wanting to answer that question. He took a glance at the watch on his wrist and his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull, "It's a long story," and an embarrassing one at that but he couldn't go in-depth with it, especially not now when they had somewhere to be, "But before I can spill gossip about my social life I need you to take me to the clinic before I miss that OB/GYN appointment and have to pay a fee," that was an annoying part about appointments. If he so desired to chicken out, there was a consequence to his actions. 

Luckily, he didn't need to say anything more before Changwoo was nodding his head with a determined smile, "Okay then, grab your coat. I'll drive us there and back," he was quick to hop up and out of his bed, grabbing his wallet and throwing on a pullover to brace the cold. He'd need it under his coat with this weather, "We don't want you to be late. You'll just have to pull up directions so we don't get lost," Changkyun already had it recorded on his phone. He was prepared. 

Changkyun was shocked in all honesty. That had been too easy and the anxiety was still at the same level as it was before, no more relaxed, "Then you know what you're getting yourself into by involving yourself right?” Changkyun asked, stepping in front of his brother before he could continue on his way past him and out of the room. Playing along meant Changwoo was entailing himself in a huge secret. He was involving himself in deceit, lying, and dishonesty towards their parents. If they found out, both of them would be in huge trouble, not just Changkyun. Although, he would be in worse trouble than his older brother. Changwoo would get a slap on the wrist compared to Changkyun. He needed to understand, "You know what doing something to help me will do to you?” 

Changwoo's smile dropped, but his face still held that warmness that made Changkyun feel loved and safe, "I do, but I don't care, Kyunnie," he assured, grabbing his shoulder with a tender hand. His thumb rubbed into his shirt, reaching to the muscle underneath, "I can deal with the wrath of Mom and Dad just fine.” 

I can't, Changkyun spoke in his head. He nodded in replacement, as though agreeing. Changwoo continued, repairing his previous statement with distraction, "What are we waiting for? I'm an uncle and I get to see my niece or nephew today," he took a moment to think, his smile faltering in thought, "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" there was that same excitement in his voice, and it made Changkyun's heart flutter in acceptance. 

"It's a boy," Changkyun proudly stated, feeling his chest swell. His little boy was really growing on him, and in him, that was for sure, "Luckily I'm having an anatomy scan today, so you really do get to see him." 

"A nephew," Changwoo exhaled, seemingly in a dream. It was surreal to think about, but they had no time to dwell on it, "Come on then, let's go. I don’t want you to be late. You should have said something earlier,” Changkyun should have, but his hesitancy was understandable. He didn’t expect such a positive reaction even if it was his brother. Now that it was out there in the open, Changkyun noted how nice it was to have someone on his side who wasn’t part of his friend group. His big brother was the only one within the family name who wasn’t terribly judgmental and mentally or verbally abusive towards him. It was a huge relief, something he was thankful for. 

Changkyun followed Changwoo out of the room and down the hall into the front room. Every step he took felt like just another knock to get his parents' attention and it had him quivering with fear, “Should we tell Mom and Dad that we’re leaving?" Changkyun whispered, watching out for their presence in the hallways. They managed to get to the door without intervention, but their auras lingered in every corner of the house and it made the hair on the back of Changkyun’s neck stand up. He never felt safe behind these walls; not now and not ever. 

“No,” came Changwoo’s simple answer with a confident shake of the head, “They’ll wonder where we are when they realize we’re gone but I’ll just tell them that we went to see some of our old high school friends,” he smiled, opening the door after