There was something about lunch that Heejin hated. It could be all the people around making her nervous. Or it could be the lack luster food that she had to eat when she forgot her lunch the nth time. Or it could be…

“KIM JIWOO WILL YOU STOP MAKING A MESS.” Or it could be the constant bickering between her two friends.

“But Jungeun my burger won’t stay together, look.”

Heejin lazily munches on some fries, chewing them with little effort as the girl across her lifts up the sloppy sandwich, holding it up while mustard and ketchup drips all over the place. Jungeun’s face turns bright red as the table becomes a palette for warm colors. Reds, yellows, mixing into orange, oh there’s a bit of green too from the lettuce falling out.

Kim Jungeun and Kim Jiwoo, best friends, total opposites. Well except for the loud part. Heejin can’t even hear herself think from how loud the two are yelling at each other. Jungeun complaining about the mess, while the other defends herself. She can’t help but smile though, since the past few weeks lunch has been a combination of Jungeun sulking over a certain couple and Jiwoo being whiny because their friend was sad.

Things were normal now and her usual entertainment was back on air. Today’s episode was titled. Who will explode first, Jiwoo’s burger created in a monster lab or Jungeun Ramsey. But really the winner was...drum roll please...Heejin’s heart.

Because when Hyunjin walked into the cafeteria it was like everyone disappeared in thin air. It was a performance of Hyunjin in a slow-motion confident stride, while Heejin, the audience, was frozen to her seat with a fry dangling from her fingertips.

The girl smiles at her and then brings a hand up to wave. It takes four seconds for Heejin to react, dropping the fry and shooting her hand up to wave. She probably looked stupid with how wide she was smiling and how fast she was waving her hand.

Yeah she had to look stupid because Hyunjin was laughing at her and the two across from her had their eyebrows raised in skepticism. It’s simultaneous with how Heejin notices her friends and them turning to look for who’s making her cheese this hard. Dropping her hand she drops her head as well and starts munching of fries again.

This time at a faster pace since she was desperate to act normal.

Jungeun is the first to turn around having a stupidly knowing look on her face. The smirk and propped eyebrow. Heejin wanted to go away, so she did by throwing a fry at her friend’s nose. It made Jungeun’s expression angry but that was more comforting than the teasing one. Jiwoo however was still confused who she was waving at and was doing a whole 360 of the cafeteria.

The dark haired girl shakes the fry off and gives Heejin a serious look. “Did I just see you waving at Kim Hyunjin?” Jiwoo squeaks and throws herself back around, “KIM HYUNJIN THE BASKETBALL STORF!” Both Jungeun and Heejin lunge forward to cover the girls mouth and she keeps yelling into Jungeun’s that reached there first until she’s finally tired.

Her friend removes her hand and brings it up, “Jiwoo I have the remote, see?” The red hair girl pouts and gives a sad look towards Jungeun’s hand being held up. “This is the volume button.” A thumb accessorized with a ring pretends to press a button. Jiwoo shakes her head at the imaginary object.

“I am now turning down the volume…” The thumb shakes a bit and Heejin stifles a laugh. Jiwoo looks at her and gives her a normal voice level warning, but Jungeun flicks her head and points at the remote again. The volume is turned down more. She was definitely at whisper level now.

Jungeun sets the imaginary remote down on the table and throws an arm over Jiwoo. They all huddled to the middle, “so care to explain?” Heejin smiles a bit and remembers what Ms. Wong told her. You should live up to your love not hide it. But maybe her friends should be eased into it. This was a first for her after all. “We have chem together, I guess you could say we’re friends now?” 

 Her friends give her an odd look as she shrugs and then Jiwoo forgets that she’s on whisper mode, “Friends? She smiled at you Heejin she doesn’t even smile for her friends!” Jungeun rolls her eyes and picks up the remote again pointing at it again. “The mute button Jiwoo.” The girl whines when it’s pressed. Jungeun turns back to her and Heejin feels like she’s being interrogated, “why were you giving her the heart eyes?”

“I said we’re friends there's.”

“You’re blushing.”

“Yeah because you’re looking at me like that!”

“You never blush so what’s up? You like her or something?”

Heejin is blood red by now and she should have known she couldn’t get past Jungeun’s ability to sense everything out of place. Jiwoo is clueless though looking back and forth between them. Until the girl speaks up, ignoring the mute button, “Wait Jungeun what are you saying?” The girl goes to pick up the remote again but Jiwoo beats her to it and throws it across the room. They all pretend to watch it fly.

Jungeun slaps her on the back of the head and angrily growls out, “listen if you’re not quiet I won’t tell you.”

Jiwoo rubs at the back of her head and sniffles a bit making Jungeun roll her eyes. Heejin thinks the heat is off of her when the redhead is pulled into Jungeun's embrace as an apology. Her friend is blushing as she pats on Jiwoo’s back and the latter is melting into her arms. Jungeun leans down a bit and whispers into Jiwoo ear causing the girl to gasp and pull away from the embrace turning to Heejin.

"Do you have a crush on her?!” Heejin who had her phone up to take a picture of the cute exchange between her friends drops it in a panic. It clatters on the table and her friends giggle at her.

“No, I don’t have a-.”

“What’s this about a crush?”

The three of them turn to the voice but only Heejin recognizes it. It scared her so much she flinches and it causes her to wobble off balance on her chair. But her knight in shiny Jordan’s comes to save her. The chair falls causing a bit of a commotion but Heejin is unharmed in Hyunjin’s embrace. “What did I tell you about rocking on your chair?”

The athlete pulls her back to her feet while still holding her by her lower back and picks the chair up with one hand, sticking it back up. Heejin mutters thanks and drops her head nervous from the close proximity of her face and Hyunjin’s neck. If they hugged she’d probably fit perfectly into the crook.

Blushing at the thought she quickly sits back down. Ignoring Hyunjin’s sigh from the loss of contact. Her heart is beating a double speed and her ears are ringing from all the voices around. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at Hyunjin or her friends since she was so embarrassed.

The embarrassment runs deeper when the girl sits beside her and awfully close. Too close to be just friends but close enough to be best friends. But she’s only talked to Hyunjin for a few months.

Heejin finally looks up at her friends and giggles. No matter how bad a situation was she always smiled and laughed. It was out of habit. People would tend to like a girl who seemed composed and okay then one that was freaking out. Like how she was right now internally.

She was dangerously close to the edge of who knows what cliff. Love? Fear? Maybe both who knows. But Hyunjin is close...really close. She had an arm draped across her back resting on the chair and the other one laid across the table. The girl’s scent invading her space. It was sweet, like freshly baked cinnamon rolls and Heejin could feel herself getting dizzy from the warmth. Heejin was already losing her grip on the edge she was desperately clinging onto.

There was this mushy sensation in her stomach. Like nerves and excitement at the same time. Excitement that her crush who made her feel like goo sitting so close to her and the nerves from her friends giving her those mischievous smiles.

Hyunjin scoots closer to her and their chairs knock together. The arm resting on the back of her chair wraps around her and fingertips glide across her skin. Heejin is shaking in her chair, Hyunjin has never been this, well touchy. The most she got was a high five or her hair being played with. But right now she was snuggled into Hyunjin side and loving every second of it.

“You have goosebumps are you cold?” No, your hand is soft and it tickles. Hyunjin’s face is so close to hers and if she were to turn their faces would only be an inch apart and Heejin doesn’t know if she could handle that. The girl dies a little inside at her friends cracking up across from them.

She smiles and shivers a bit. She’s not cold at all, she’s actually on fire but no one needs to know that right? So she goes along with it, “Ahah I guess um I don’t know maybe it’s the weather.”

An airy voice replies, “But we’re inside Heejin.” She curses at herself. Hyunjin always made her act a fool.

Jiwoo is patting on the table covering and Jungeun is straining so hard to keep her laugh in that tears fall out of her eyes. Heejin gives them the death glare as they mock her smile and flutter their eyelids, reenacting the scene of Hyunjin draping her arm across her.

Hyunjin snaps her view towards them and they repel like magnets of the same pole. They just smile and wave at her. Heejin makes sure she watches with a side eye and let’s her ego boost a little when the girl doesn’t even crack a smile. If she really was one to make Hyunjin smile then that must mean she’s special right?

“Here if you’re cold take this.” The arm that was giving her warmth is retracted and Heejin and her friends watch in awe as Hyunjin takes her letterman jacket off and offers it to Heejin. She stares at the jacket and then at her friends who are urging her to take it. Of course, she takes it and pushes her hands through the sleeves.

It’s entirely too big on her and she looks like a kid in it. Lifting up her arm the sleeve flops over a bit and she’s received a few awes. Even from Hyunjin, “see it fits perfectly.” Heejin blushes and goes back to fiddling with her pants. Hyunjin usually made her nervous but today was a whole new level. Probably because she was being so flirty and touchy.

“So we were just talking about Heejin’s crush and we just can’t figure out who it is.” Her knees bump the table as she lunges toward Jungeun but Jiwoo blocks her and pushes her back towards her seat. Hyunjin laughs and settles her down by wrapping her arm around her again.

Heejin thinks this must be all a dream and she’s gonna wake up any second now.

But no it’s real, too real especially when Hyunjin replies, “I think I may know who it is.” She turns to Hyunjin who is already looking at her with a familiar glint in her eyes. The girl is smiling and although it’s small Heejin can sense the deeper meaning to it. What did Hyunjin mean that she knew who it was? Was Heejin that obvious? That’s when she notices how close they are and her blood pressure skyrockets. Hyunjin is only inches away from her.

Her stare is so curious...it reminds her of-

“Seriously Sooyoung! You can’t keep your hands to yourself ever can you?!”

The tension is broken between them as Hyunjin turns around at the commotion. Heejin can’t help but be disappointed.

She sighs and slightly leans over, looking past broad shoulders to look at who interrupted their little moment. It’s Jo Haseul and she’s pointing a finger right in Ha Sooyoung’s face. The girl is yelling at her for some reason. Lisa, another basketball player is filming the entire thing laughing at the rather serious situation.

The lunch crowd is quiet as the girl cries out and Heejin can’t help but feel bad for her. She sounded really hurt and Sooyoung was just giving her a sly smirk like none of her words mattered. As if her blow up was amusing. Heejin feels sick to her stomach as she watches Sooyoung strain to keep a laugh in.

She really hopes Hyunjin isn’t like that. She knows that the girl could be pretty mean but this was just cruel.

On today’s episode of who while explode first: it wasn’t Jiwoo’s burger, it wasn’t Jungeun’s OCD and surprisingly wasn’t Heejin’s heart, but it was none other than the girl who had her heart broken.

The slap is heard across the whole cafeteria and Heejin feels the arm wrapped around her tighten. Haseul is shaking, she then turns to scurry out of the lunchroom. Sooyoung is rubbing at her jaw where the hand had made contact still grinning slightly but clearly in pain.

Everyone starts to clap then and Sooyoung flips the crowd off with both hands. It’s not like her reputation was ruined. It was never good, to begin with. The girl’s teammates start to laugh at her and Heejin watches as Sooyoung’s face falls, and with the kindness of her heart, she starts to feel bad for her. Embarrassment was painful.

Jungeun suddenly stands up and starts walking away, the same direction Haseul had went. Heejin shares a look with Jiwoo and they both shake their head. Their friend still probably cared about Haseul, she always has. Turning back to Hyunjin who was staring in the direction of the previous table she was sat at Heejin nudges the girl with her hand.

Hyunjin faces her again, still close as ever but this time Heejin’s not nervous, just concerned. “‘Maybe you should check on Sooyoung, you’re friends right?”

“Why? She deserved it.” Heejin tilts her head and gives Hyunjin a look that tells her to do it anyway because she said so. The girl rolls her eyes and stands up, “fine I will, you’re coming to the game tonight right?” Heejin forgot about the game actually. She had been too busy with school work and other things. Smiling she nods and Hyunjin gives her a wink, “good I wouldn’t want to miss my favorite fan.”

She blushes a bit at the remark and follows Hyunjin back to her table. None of them seem to notice she was gone until she was dragging Sooyoung out of the cafeteria. Favorite fan? She didn’t even think Hyunjin knew she came to the games. Heejin thought all the longing looks after Hyunjin scored was some kind of illusion.

“Wow, you two are like girlfriends already.” Thrown out of her daze she glares at Jiwoo.

The girl shrugs and starts eating Jungeun’s food, “one you guys were cuddled up the whole time.” Okay true, but that was the first time and Hyunjin rarely did things like that. “You’re wearing her jacket.” Oh no she forgot to give Hyunjin her jacket back. She guesses she can at the game tonight. “Three the way you two look at each other, I swear you were speaking without words. Only girlfriends do that.”

The way they look at each other. Yeah, they could speak without saying anything, they had these cues or whatever. She had learned the different expressions of Hyunjin, not like there were many to learn, and Hyunjin had done the same. Oh god, maybe there was something between them.

“Heejin you look like you’re about to combust calm down.”

Whatever this was, this weird spark between them, the comforting familiarity, Heejin was going to get to the bottom of it. She had to live up to her love.

Before time took it away from her.

…

Jungeun searches the halls frantically for a certain girl. It took everything within her not to go punch the other side of Sooyoung’s face just to equal it out. Her blood boiled as she watched the girl laugh at Haseul.

She had heard the rumors that Sooyoung had started messing around behind her back with some girl named Soobin. Clearly, those rumors had reached to Haseul. Even more clear was that Haseul was hurt, and Sooyoung didn’t care.

Because that’s who she was. Ha Sooyoung didn’t give a about anyone but herself.

Jungeun was the one that had seen it with her own two eyes. Sooyoung kissing that girl underneath the staircase one afternoon when she was done with piano lessons. She was kissing her the same way she kissed Haseul.

The rumors weren’t meant to be spread, but Jiwoo had to tell Chaewon, and Chaewon is a blabbermouth. She didn’t blame Jiwoo, but she almost strangled Chaewon since the girl had told three people every day about the siting of Sooyoung locking lips with another girl after school.

Jungeun didn’t want to see Haseul get hurt like this, she tried to warn her. It never worked because Jungeun was always a coward. When Haseul asked her why she shouldn’t go out Sooyoung she should have said.

Because you should go out with me.

What she said instead was.

Go out with her, but she might break your heart. She is Ha Sooyoung.

Here she was though. Haseul was heartbroken and she was searching for the broken pieces to mend it back together.

Jungeun and Haseul had a shaky history. They shared sneaky kisses in the library and Jungeun would get in trouble for running the phone bill up for all their late night conversations, but all of that had no label.

It was just something they did. They never discussed it, what it meant to them. Only did it because it felt right, the actions were enough for Haseul, while it was never enough for Jungeun. She was just too scared to admit it though. Afraid that Haseul would laugh in her face, the same way Sooyoung had just laughed.

Love was too much for her. The way Haseul would giggle after they kissed, the way the girl would sing her to sleep. The looks she received whenever she got too shy. It was all too much.

Now it was nothing but a distant memory.

It was Jungeun’s fault they drifted apart during the summer. She didn’t return the calls, didn’t walk to Haseul’s house to climb into her window, and didn’t write stupid poems to leave in Haseul Journal. Because she was afraid that all the memories they had together meant nothing to her.

She was proven right when Haseul had stormed into the gates of the local pool, the one she was a lifeguard at. Haseul had told her about Sooyoung then and Jungeun couldn’t help but feel her heart drop.

Haseul stood there in the hot sun with fist clenched like she was expecting something other than the response she got. Jungeun didn’t know what to tell her, why did she need her permission. Haseul scoffed at her and shook her head before walking away. That was the last time they spoke.

Of course, you would say that.

Jungeun didn’t know what she meant by that but it didn’t matter. What they had was now just a bittersweet memory. A memory that Jungeun clung onto because she never wanted to forget how Haseul’s lips felt against hers. How their hands fit perfectly together.

Now? Everything was coming back to face Jungeun. All the memories were surfacing, they felt so real, along with all the flashbacks of Haseul with Sooyoung. Her wearing that stupid varsity jacket, Haseul tucked underneath that stupid arm while they walked the hallway together. Haseul smiling whenever she was lifted up by Sooyoung whenever the team had won a game.

Haseul’s hands reaching out to cup a sweaty face pulling it close so she can connect her lips with tainted ones.

Jungeun’s frantic steps come to a halt in the middle of the hall. It hits her then, probably at the worst moment imaginable. She wanted all of that and more with Haseul. She wanted to be the one that Haseul was in love with.

“I’m so stupid.” She says to no one in particular. Turning around she looks around to see if anyone heard her. No one, just herself so she continues her search for the one who needs to hear it the most.

Hey, Haseul sorry for like ghosting you or whatever. I should have been there for you. I should have considered how you felt.

The worst mistake in her life. She decided what to do for both of them without even asking the other. No matter what Haseul wanted from her, she didn’t deserve to be ignored by Jungeun. What kind of friend was Jungeun to drop her if she didn’t feel the same way she did? And what kind of lover was she if Haseul did feel the same.

She should have told Haseul from the start. Then maybe she could have saved them both from a lot of pain.

Just maybe.

Taking two steps at a time she makes her way to the choir room. Where she knows Haseul likes to go when something is bothering her.

When she hears a voice, singing sadly. Her feet pick up the pace. Along with her heart.

Slamming the door open she’s breathing a bit hard. Probably from the nerves more than anything.

Haseul is sat at the piano stool, staring at her with teary eyes.

“Haseul.” Jungeun stands straight up and holds her breath. It’s awkward...painfully awkward. “Hi.”

Despite saying two things to the girl, she gets no response. Her ears turn red and goes dry. Okay, maybe her little stunt powered by love was stupid. Just like everything else she’s ever done with Haseul. Patting her leg with the hand that’s not holding the door open she bows for an apology, “sorry wrong room.”

She doesn’t get one foot out of the door when a desperate voice calls out for her. “Don’t please.”

Jungeun turns back around and lets the door close again. Slowly, she makes her way over to the piano stool where Haseul is seated. She still hasn’t let her eyes fall on her. She’s afraid of what she’ll see in Haseul’s bloodshot eyes.

They’re a foot apart on the stool, and Jungeun can feel the holes being stared through her right now. She messes with the keys, playing a soft melody. Jungeun doesn’t know what to say. All the words she’d mustered up searching the halls are now just…

Distant memories.

Because she was making a new one right now. That was far more important than anything in the past.

“Thanks for not running away this time.” Jungeun wishes she knew what Haseul meant, but she doesn’t have the guts to ask. So instead she says what’s easiest to her, “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Haseul’s response is so quick she slips on a key, making a horrible noise. The crying starts again and Jungeun wants to hold her. Wants to tell her everything will be okay. But how can she? “For Sooyoung.”

“It’s not even about her,” Haseul says to her.

“It was never about her,” Jungeun notices how the girl’s voice breaks with this one.

Jungeun freezes and closes her eyes. Maybe if she just listened for once. “Do you know how humiliating all of this is?

Jungeun starts to play again, but her fingers are too weak to push the keys down, so it’s just small clicking noises. Her nails tapping against the surface.

“This isn’t the first time she’s been with someone else while we were dating, I shouldn't have slapped her but you know my temper.”

“Everyone knows this time though, they probably think I’m stupid. You probably do too.”

Jungeun finally looks at her and is a little relieved that Haseul is focused on the piano instead of her. How could she ever think that about Haseul?

“Because how could I choose someone like her over you.” Jungeun eyes widen when Haseul turns her head, the air still leaves her lungs whenever Haseul looks at her like that.

“Wait what?”

Haseul rolls her eyes and pushes her, she has to grab onto the stool to keep still. “You’re such an idiot Kim Jungeun.” She stares into bloodshot eyes trying to find the reason for the insult. But despite the pain in them, there’s softness.

“I went to the pool that day hoping you would tell me to choose you over her and all you did was give me permission.”

Furrowing her brows she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “Then why did you date her?”

Haseul rolls her eyes and stands up making Jungeun stand up as well, “because I was pissed at you for disappearing, I thought you hated me and Sooyoung was giving me attention.”

“So that means you just forgot about us? Because Sooyoung was being her usual charming self?” Her arm is slapped and she cringes a bit going to rub off the pain. Haseul starts to poke at her chest harshly. Jungeun doesn’t think she’s ever seen Haseul this angry.

“You forgot about us Jungeun, pretty quickly and yes Sooyoung is very charming and very nice when she isn’t shoving her tongue down someone else’s throat,” Jungeun swears she hears and when she’s not laughing at you.

Haseul smiles a bit, it’s a smile that you know that’s from a broken heart though. “She was there when you weren’t. Dating her wasn’t a mistake.”

Jungeun doesn’t like the pain that comes with the confession, but she brought it upon herself. The tears in her eyes well, she couldn’t help it really.

“I liked her I really did, but I still missed you. If anything dating her made everything I felt for you stronger.” Jungeun freezes at the words she feels her heart that was beating slowly pick back up. “No one compares to you Jungeun.” Blinking she raises her head from where it was starting to drop. Haseul is smiling but not from heartbreak.

Jungeun smiles with her and can’t help but wrap her arms around the tiny frame.

The girl laughs against her cheek, starting to cry again and Jungeun can feel the wetness against her face, “don’t be scared of me this time, I want you to be with me.”

“Then don’t go dating other people.” Her shoulder is pushed making her cackle out. Jungeun wouldn’t mess it all up this time. She didn’t have to remember how warm Haseul was when she had her right here in her arms. “I wouldn’t have if you weren’t...” She cuts Haseul’s whining off with her lips. She wraps her arms around her tighter.

She’d never let go again.

Time wasn’t Jungeun’s enemy when it came to love. It was only herself.