“Once upon a time, in a far faraway land, there was a very beautiful and strong-willed princess. One day, the princess went with her father to their neighbouring country on a diplomatic mission. There, the princess met the royal prince of the country. He was funny, adventurous, and, especially, he had a big and warm heart unlike any boy the princess had met. He treated the princess with so much respect, and not just like someone with status and riches that the prince could exploit. The prince taught the princess how to ride a horse, how to fly a kite, even how to fight a boy if she was teased.

The prince also felt so happy whenever he was with the princess. She made him feel confident and comfortable with himself, unlike anyone in the noble families who were so boring and only obsessed with money and power. So, the prince and princess fell in love with each other. When the princess left to go back to her country, the prince made her a promise, that he would go to her country to marry her as soon as he was done with his work in his country.

But the princess waited for years and years. Princes and young masters from noble families who came to proposed marriage to the princess were all turned down. She was only waiting for her prince to come.

But his work was never done. The prince was given tasks after tasks by his father, and he never had the chance to go to the princess.

One day, conflicts broke out on the borders of the princess’s country and another’s. The only way to resolve the conflicts was for the princess to marry the other country’s prince. Born a royalty, the princess understood it was her responsibility to keep peace for her people.

So the princess buried her own feelings, and stepped into the wedding palanquin heading for the other country, as her prince was still waiting for the day that they could be together.”

- Wait, eomeonim? That’s the story? – Sungmin, then only five years old, interrogated his mother. – I don’t like it!

- Why don’t you like it, Sungmin? – his mother slightly smiled at him.

- Because the princess broke her promise. She made a promise to the prince!

- Yes. But in life, things aren’t always as simple as a promise. And sometimes, you have to do what’s best for everyone else even if it means it will hurt you.

- I still don’t like. – Little Sungmin said as he yawned slowly.

- Yeah. – his mother started to tuck the thick blanket around his body, as he felt his eyes slowly closing. And before he knew it, he was already deep into one of his dreams, not aware of his mother still sitting beside him. She lowered her head to put a kiss onto his forehead. And, as she was leaving his room, she turned around to whisper something to him, but as if to herself.

- I just hope you will never have to make such a decision, my dear.

***********

Joseon,

Summer of 1618,

The state examinations had finally come. After four years of studying, Sungmin felt like a lifetime had passed, and he was never going to live to attend the state examinations. But, finally, the day had come, and Sungmin was well-prepared physically and mentally to show the world what he had to offer.

Of course, for some other than Sungmin, the state examinations came as more of a burden and an injustice, rather than a bliss. For example, Sungmin imagined the groups of jerks with nice clothes who had the first day of school when he snuck into Kim teacher's wrestling class would not be too thrilled about the exams. They, to be fair, were not that bright to begin with. Imagine the amount of bribes his parents would have to spend just to 'buy' him a position in the local government.

But Sungmin also could not help thinking about his dear friend, Hyukjae, and how unfair the law was that students not from noble families could not enter into the civil service examinations. By that law, Hyukjae would only be eligible to apply for a position in the military. The injustice of such a law was incomprehensible to Sungmin, and he was determined to enter the government to help change it.

Immersed in his own thoughts, Sungmin did not see the big crowd gathering on the side of the street he was walking on. Only until he was one step in distance to the crowd, did he hear whispering and yelling. What was strange to him was how familiar one of the voices sounded. Curious, he came closer to ask one of the street vendors standing on the outside.

- What's going on?

- Oh, just the usual, - one of the vendors replied - the rich boys were gambling with Kim Dongchun over there, but today, Dongchun won too much, so the rich boys got angry.

- Who's Dongchun?

- He sets up a table to take bets here every day. Those rich boys are frequent customers.

The yelling and cursing were getting louder now. Sungmin tried to pass through the vendors that were forming circles and circles around what was going on in the middle. When he got to the center of the crowd, Sungmin could see a group of boys kicking a smaller boy who was now lying on the ground covering his head. One boy in the group was particularly angry, yelling and ordering the rest to give more kicks and punches. Now that he was standing only a few steps from the boys, Sungmin could recognize where he had heard that voice from. It was Kim Hongdae, the brat who had told on him on his first day. He had not changed at all in the last four years, if he had not somehow become even more pretentious and irritating.

Some of the vendors standing around them were starting to voice their discontent towards the group of rich boys. Sungmin could only hear indistinctly words and phrases:

- Just pay him already!

- He won fair and square! Come on!

- You had the guts to play but not pay?

Irritated with the bystanders, Kim Hongdae suddenly drew out his sword and hovered it before the vendors. Sungmin decided enough was enough, and yelled out to Kim Hongdae:

- Enough! Stop it.

This was when Kim Hongdae turned around, and was instantly amused with who he found standing before him.

- Oh, pretty boy!

Sungmin only threw him a disgusted look.

- What's the matter? What did you say? Stop it? Why?

- Why? Because you're hurting him and scaring everybody, and for no good reason. He won your money and he deserves to have it.

Kim Hongdae scoffed at what was just said.

- Deserve? He doesn't deserve anything. He's just a lowlife street vendor, and their job is to serve people like us. Am I right, boys?

- Of course! - The four boys behind him shouted out in unison.

But Sungmin was not gonna lose to Kim Hongdae like this. He responded to the boys immediately.

- Pay him. And leave him alone.

- Why would we do that? And why should we listen to you?

Not waiting till he finished, Sungmin threw him a quick punch straight to his face. It was so quick and unexpected that no one could have predicted or stopped Sungmin. Sungmin then immediately took the sharp and shiny sword from Kim Hongdae. Now he was the one threatening him with the sword.

- Pay him or this sword will find its home in your lovely neck!

Kim Hongdae was stunned for a moment. But it was only for a moment, as the four boys behind him had rushed forward to shield him. One of
them was able to kick the sword away from Sungmin. Now he only had himself as a weapon.

Sungmin threw around his kicks that sent two of them to the ground. Another one was
standing as if taking a defense position. The fourth one, Sungmin thought, was a hard one. He was the one who managed to kick the sword away from Sungmin, so at least he had learned something from the four years of attending martial arts lessons. Sungmin's eyes were now glued to him, not noticing the other one had slowly retrieved to behind his back.

And, in a short second, Sungmin felt something solid hit the back of his neck. And then, he felt another hit to his shoulder. He fell to the ground, as the pain overwhelmed him. He felt another hit was coming, but just when it was close, he heard Kim Hongdae's voice, loud and commanding as always:

- That's enough. Let's go. The police are coming.

Again, the four boys followed Kim Hongdae out of the crowd. And in a moment, they were gone, as if they had never been there before.

Sungmin tried to lift himself up, but he felt tremendous pain in his left arm, where he had been hit by the hard object, so he stumbled on the ground again. The small boy, Kim Dongchun, immediately came beside him and helped him up.

- Are you ok? Thank you for doing that.

- That's OK. I'm ok. - Sungmin tried to say this despite feeling overwhelming pain in his shoulder. And, as if just remembering something, Sungmin turned to the boy. - And I'm sorry. You never got your money.

The boy shook his head and was now smiling. Sungmin found that this boy had quite a cunning smile.

- Who said I didn't get my money? - He said while pulling out a small silk bag with golden fiber embroidered on it. Inside was full of silver. The bag was obviously not his, but Kim Hongdae's. When and how this boy managed to pick it from Kim Hongdae was a puzzle to Sungmin, but he was happy for him, nevertheless.

- I took it when you were fighting. Living here, with those kinds of people, we have to get a bit sly. - He smiled again and thanked Sungmin.

The boy took Sungmin to his home. Sungmin did not know if what he was staying in could be called home. It was no more than a few dried branches stuck together, and a big roof on top. Almost everything was outside the house: the table on the ground near the front door for guests, an old and chipped teapot on top, and a line where the clothes could be hung. Looking around the place Sungmin could see hundreds of other houses just like this one. Judging by their situations, Sungmin guessed the inside of their houses could only be used for sleeping. He felt bad for all of them. But pity would not get him anywhere, and he remembered the only thing he could do was to pass the examinations tomorrow.

Seeing that it was getting dark, Sungmin said goodbye to the boy. He had the big exams tomorrow. If he missed this one, he would have to wait until next year to enter the examinations again, and he was not going to wait around for one year while others were suffering and he could do something about it. Turning one last time to look at the little houses, he swore one day he would come back again.

****************

The pain in his shoulders did not go away like he had thought it would. In contrast, it seemed to get even more painful now. He knew that he would need to go to a doctor, but his exams were tomorrow morning. There was no way he could both get his wound treated and make the exams. So he decided to choose his exams, over his wound. It was no big deal, he thought, he could put some ointment on it, and it probably would go away tomorrow morning. Besides, if his father got word that he was injured in a street fight, he would keep him at home forever, let alone allow him practise martial arts ever again. He had been training for the past six years, and studying his whole life, just waiting for the exams. This was his chance to do everything that he had been waiting for, and he would not let Kim Hongdae ruin it for him.

The next morning came even rougher for Sungmin. Somehow, his wound felt even more sore. His left shoulder and arm felt numb now, and he could not lift his arm. "Push through this. You can do this", he thought. If only the pain could just go away if you did not notice it.

- Are you okay, Sungmin? - His father was at his door.

- Yes, abeonim. - Sungmin faked a weak smile.

- It's the day.

- Yes, I will try my best

- Good luck, my son. You can do it.

He smiled at his father and tried to get out of the residence as fast as he could. One second more with his father, and he would not be able to hide his pain from him. Turning around to take one last look at his father, Sungmin found that his father was still looking at him, eyes filled with hope and confidence in him. His exams had not started yet, but somehow, he already felt like a failure.

The Palace was open to students who attended the state examinations today. At the gate, crowds of students, parents, bystanders, and guards were gathered like a festival. As he tried to get by, he recognised a joking high voice from a boy standing a few groups away from him. He would recognise that voice anywhere. He was teasing the other boy standing facing him, and the two of them were laughing together as if today was just another day at school. Standing next to him, Sungmin knew, would be a tall boy buried in his book preparing for his exams, as usual. He knew all of it, even though he could not really see where they were standing. And, he could not bring himself to come to them. He turned away and tried to get through the gate as quickly as he could, without getting attention from his friends. He knew Kyuhyun would be able to sense anything that was wrong with him, even in the slightest. He did not want to burden any of his friends with his troubles. More importantly, he did not want them to worry. After all, there was nothing they could do here at this moment.

Sungmin snuck past his friends and went through the gate. He got to his seat to prepare for his exam. The poetry exam was in the morning, then, in the afternoon, they would have their martial arts contest. Just a few more hours and his whole future would open up before him.

A bang against the bong signaled the beginning of the exam. "This is it", Sungmin thought, "I can do it", and opened the envelope to his exam. The exam had only just begun, but the pain in his arms and shoulders seemed like a sign that everything had come to an end for him.

************

Almost two months had passed since the examination day. Sungmin could still remember clearly the pain in his arm and shoulder just like it was happening right now. He could remember every word the examiner had said to him that day. He could even remember every paragraph in his poetry paper as well as every move he had made in his contest. But, somehow, everything just felt like an extremely vivid and horrifying dream to him. If he had not been hearing constant excitement about the results of the exams from his friends, he would not have known that it actually happened at all.

He was still sitting on the patio in his residence when he heard heavy and rushing footsteps towards his father’s chamber, followed by hushed whispers. He could recognise his father’s footsteps among these footsteps. After they had settled inside the chamber, Sungmin could hear them continuing whispering and arguing. “Something is wrong”, Sungmin guessed from the hurrying footsteps of his father. Why else would his father, an incredibly self-composed person, be in such a hurry?

Just as hurried as they came, their conversation quickly ended, as if the matter was so urgent that no time should be spent on arguing. The person accompanying his father to his chamber quickly left, his figure crooked like he was shaking. Waiting another moment, then, Sungmin decided to come into the room.

- Abeonim, what’s wrong?

The room was bright, and he saw his father sitting behind his table as usual. But, at this moment, he could see the tension on his own father’s face. And, beyond that, a worry.

- Nothing that concerns you, Sungmin.

- Everything that you do is my concern, abeonim. You’re my father.

His father looked up to see him, a tinge of surprise on his face. He thought of what to say to his son, but could only think of a simple statement.

- Sojung’s gone.

- Sojung? What happened?

Sojung was one of their allies. She had come from a family of traders in Hanyang. But, unlike most women who were satisfied with marrying the richest family and bearing children, she was always discontented with the way life was supposed to be and had allied with them a few years ago. His father’s plan was to plant Sojung in the Palace as one of the King’s concubines. With Sojung’s exceptional beauty and manipulation, she was supposed to be his father’s eyes and ears in the Palace.

- She eloped with a boy she met. They fell in love, as I was informed. No one has seen or heard from them for three days now. Not even her parents. She left this note.

His father pointed to the piece of paper on his table that he had been staring at. Sungmin picked up the note, and he could see that the paper was damp, as if whoever wrote it was crying as they were writing. In the note, Sojung said she was sorry for being weak, but that the Palace was a cruel place, and she could not think about spending her entire life there. She also wished his father luck in finding someone stronger than her to do this job.

- I can’t blame her completely. She’s a young woman who’s in the prime of her life. She should be chasing after her dreams and love, not rotting in a place where there are rules for even calling a person’s name or eating a meal, and where she would not be able to get out for the rest of her life.

Sungmin stood there thinking for a long while. Everything his father said was true. And so he understood that it was not that his father could not find Sojung. It was that he did not want to. Because, if he found them, then what? He could not force Sojung to do this. Not if this involved a person’s entire life and happiness.

His father was starting to get up now. He opened the door and began to walk out of the room. And, as he was about to leave, a thought struck Sungmin, as if he had solved a really long-standing puzzle. As if he had just thought of the answer to the most difficult question in the world.

- What if I do it, abeonim?

His father turned back to look at him with a clear confusion on his face. He never thought, in a million years, his own son could think of such an idea. But here he was, proposing it to him. He asked his son, wishing he was not thinking what he thought he was.

- Do what, Sungmin?

- Replacing Sojung, abeonim. Let me do it. I can do it.

He said, not full of confidence, but determination. He was not sure what the job constituted, and he was not sure what would happen, but he was determined to do something for the operation. If he could not enter the government like he always wished to, then he would go some other ways that were just as useful. He would not wait another year to re-enter the exam. Who knows where this operation would be in one year? And, he was determined not to be left out of the operation. Even if it meant that he would have to do the craziest thing possible, he would not miss it.

- No, never. Don’t even think about it, Sungmin. – his father was quick to refuse, as he had expected. – What about the exams?

- I didn’t pass, abeonim. – Sungmin lowered his voice – I knew it as soon as I finished it.

His father stopped a moment to look at his son. He did not know what happened during the exams, but he knew that passing it was his son’s dream for as long as he could remember. It was the thing that he was always proud of in his son.

- Then… - he stumbled - what if you meet someone and want to marry them in the future? That’s your whole life, Sungmin. Once you enter the Palace, it’s all gone. And you can never go back.

At this, a tall figure suddenly conjured in his mind. A friend who had been through so many ups and downs with him, he could not count. A boy that always knew when he was sad, angry, and just what he needed. A person that had never seen him as just a pretty and rich boy, but had seen and appreciated him for more than he let out. There was only one person who could possibly stop him from doing this, but he had found out long ago that he did not feel the same way, and that there was never a chance that they could end up together. So, what was the point of waiting around any more, when now there was a chance for him to do something important, something that could change the lives of thousands of people in Joseon? He stood and contemplated for a long, then said even more firmly.

- There’s no one, abeonim. There was never any chance that I would get married, anyway. There’s no one that I want to get married to. So why not let me do this? You know that there’s no one that you can trust more than me. I am your eyes and ears everywhere and always. I can do this. Let me do it, abeonim. You won’t regret it.

His father looked at him for the longest time that he could remember. The son that he had raised for more than twenty years, is now all grown up. The son whose wedding he dreamt about attending for every day in his life, now begging him to be sent to the Royal Palace. The son whose happiness was more important to him than anything in this world, will he get that happiness?

Slowly closing his eyes, Lee Youngwoon nodded his head. He knew that this was what his son wanted so badly, but he did not hear any cheer from him. Instead, both of them only sat there, in silence, sinking into their own thoughts. Then, as if worrying that his father would change his mind, Sungmin stood up and walked towards the door. He could not think of anything else to say to his father, so instead, he only reassured him.

- You won’t regret this, abeonim.

"So the princess buried her own feelings, and stepped into the wedding palanquin heading for the other country, as her prince was still waiting for the day that they could be together.”

An old bedtime story suddenly appeared in his mind. A tragic story about a prince and a princess that his mother used to tell him a long time ago, although he could not remember the ending now. His mother’s voice, however soft and loving, could not hide away the sadness of the story. But he promptly pushed the story to the back of his mind, as he still did not like it now, just as he did not like it when he was little. The story of a princess, who, despite falling in love with a prince, had to marry another to save her country. The story of love, but in the end, was filled with heartbreak and betrayal. The story that he thought was so far from reality, now felt closer than ever before.

He raised his head to look at the sky, suddenly wondering about the ending of the story. What did the prince think? What was he able to do? Sungmin thought. But there was no answer. Sungmin did not know the ending.

But there was one thing he was sure of. The ending, no doubt, would be just as bleak and dark as the sky he was now looking at.

***********

On the edge of the woods near Seowangmyeong, there were fields of flowers with a bright pink color that always reminded Kyuhyun of Sungmin when he was smiling. It was midsummer, so the flowers were already starting to wither. It took Kyuhyun a while, but he could finally gather enough to make a bouquet of flowers to give to Sungmin. Today, he was finally doing what he had wanted to do since the first day he met Sungmin. Today, his life would finally be able to begin, and he would be able to have the courage and the time to do what he had always wanted to do.

Kyuhyun ran as fast as he could to the residence as if he were afraid that someone would come and take Sungmin away from him if he did not come on time. Between the woods and the Lee’s residence, there was a small hill. When Kyuhyun was passing the hill, he could see a small figure sitting in solitude on the top of the hill. As he got closer, he recognised it was Sungmin. He was sitting all by himself. His eyes were looking down to the green grass field at the foot of the hill, but Kyuhyun felt like his mind was far away in some imaginary land that he would never be able to reach.

Kyuhyun called out to Sungmin, but he did not turn back. He called again when he was closer to Sungmin. Sungmin turned around to look at him, and when he recognised it was Kyuhyun, he gave Kyuhyun a soft smile, although Kyuhyun could see that the smile was unlike when he was laughing at his jokes, or adoring the foods at the market, or happy that he had just passed a test. This smile was more like when they had to say goodbye when summer break came and he had to go back to Hamheung for three months. This smile was a sad one.

As Kyuhyun got closer, Sungmin stood up to face him. Kyuhyun gave him the brightest smile that he could. He was about to show Sungmin the bouquet of flowers when the other suddenly spoke up:

- I'm getting married!

Sungmin looked up at the taller man, his eyes slightly making a smile while the words slipped out of his cute lips.

- What?

Kyuhyun replied, with obvious confusion in his voice. His right hand was still holding a bouquet of flowers. The hand holding the flowers lowered to his hip, almost to his back. He was trying to process the sentence that the man before him had just uttered to him. He was half hoping he had mistaken what the other was saying, that he had gotten another ear infection, so his hearing was not as clear as it normally was. The other half, he was praying, that the other man was only playing with him, after all the pranks and teases he had done to him all those years.

But Sungmin only cleared his throat and looked at him seriously. Kyuhyun knew that this was his cue to pay attention. Sungmin took a moment to think of another expression, then said with clarity and seriousness that he did not know was piercing into the other man's heart and squeezing it into pieces:

- I'm going to the Palace! For the mission!

The bunch of flowers dropped deadly to the ground. Kyuhyun did not know how he replied or reacted to what the other had said. He only felt like the sky had just dropped all of its weight onto him. He felt like all the clouds and wind up there were trying to surround and suffocate him, for some reason, because he could not breathe normally anymore. And, he felt like that smile had shifted into a strong firm hand, and it was squeezing and crushing his heart into pieces, then it had shifted into a large and strong foot, which was now stepping and pounding onto the leftover pieces like they were poisonous ants. He could not breathe, see, or hear anything now, because his mind and all of his strength were focused on only one thing, or more precisely, one person. The person that was standing right in front of him right now. The person who was announcing the death and the torture of him just a moment ago, with a smile that put even thousands of those bouquets of flowers could not compete. The person who thought that this was the beginning of his mission and the Revolution.

But, for him, this would be the end of everything.

***********

Down near the centre of Hanyang, lists of accepted scholars and military officials were finally released. Hundreds of people gathered around to check their names, their scores, and the positions that they were allocated to. Cheers and laughs were heard as someone found out they were accepted into government positions. But, mostly, frustrated sighs and disappointed cries were more common.

At number 4 was Lee Hyukjae’s name. Donghae’s name was immediately below Hyukjae, at number 5. Both of them had been accepted into positions in the Ministry of Defence.

At the top of the list was Jo Kyuhyun's name. He would be heading teams of guards protecting the Royal Palace as well as the Royal Family.

Ranked second on the list was Lee Sungmin’s name. He would also be working in the Ministry of Defence, alongside Kyuhyun. But the position would never be filled, as the person allocated to it would never be aware of his achievement. He had decided on a different mission. A mission that would change the course of his whole life, as well as everyone around him.

The piece of paper on which their names and scores were written continued to wave in the wind as if laughing in the face of irony.

Far away on the green grass fields, on a small hill, a full bouquet of bright pink flowers dropped deadly to the ground.