The next few days after Sungmin gets back from the hunting grounds remain uneventful, until today.

Today, after the daily morning greeting with the Queen, Ryeowook tells Sungmin something that immediately piqued his interest.

- Hyung, have you heard about what happened at Park Gwiin mama’s residence yesterday?

- No – Sungmin replies – Unlike you, I don’t run around everywhere looking for hot gossips, Ryeowook ah.

- Hyung! – Ryeowook protests weakly to Sungmin’s teases – I didn’t run around looking for hot gossips! This I heard from the servants.

Sungmin could only shake his head in response to his playful dongsaeng.

- Hyung – Ryeowook suddenly lowers his voice, as if afraid that someone can overhear him sharing the piece of hot gossip – I heard that yesterday, Park Gwiin flipped out when her servants mentioned the Jun family’s massacre all those years ago. She punished the servants with 30 strikes each, and then she even sent them away to the wash house.

This piece of information immediately got Sungmin’s attention.

- Do you know what the servants said, Ryeowook? What could make Park Gwiin that angry? Even though she is quite a fearful person, it is impossible that a mention of the Jun family’s massacre could bother her, let alone to punish the servants by herself. Besides, the Jun family and the Park family had never been in association with each other, so what could aggravate her that much?

- From what I heard, one of the servants forgot to bring something back to the Office of Internal Affairs, but she lied to the other servant, saying that she done it. The other servant knew that she had not done the job, and was joking that if she had done it, then the Jun family is innocent. Park Gwiin was passing by and heard them, so she punished both of them and cast them out to the wash house, never to show their faces around her anymore.

Sungmin lets the information sit with him for a while. This is incredibly strange. Why would Park Gwiin be bothered by a mention of the Jun family’s massacre, especially at the mention of their innocence? Could it be that her family had something to do with the Jun family’s conviction and massacre more than 18 years ago? Given that Park Gwiin is only a few years older than Sungmin, she could not have directly had any connection with the Jun family's massacre, but her family could have, since they probably worked as ministers together.

Sungmin’s father always thought that Minister Jun’s conviction was too suspicious. It had been too rush, especially with only a few pieces of evidence that the previous King had collected from other ministers. But even if he always thought that the conviction was too rush, he had never ever thought that Minister Jun was wrongly convicted or even framed.

This new information was too important for Sungmin to wait until his next scheduled letter to his father. He feels like there are sudden knots inside his stomach which are making him overly anxious and impatient. Beside him, Ryeowook continues to blabber on about another hot gossip inside the Palace, but Sungmin’s mind has already shifted to another place and another person. A person that he had found out to belong to the Jun family. A person who witnessed the Jun family’s massacre and survived all those years ago. And also the person that Sungmin would always talk to first when he came across such important information.

Little does Sungmin know that his wish to meet that person would come true sooner than he expected.

That afternoon, Sungmin is sitting on the steps of the bridge near his residence. The bridge is quite isolated from the main road, so it has been his favourite place in the Palace to just sit and think. 

A million questions keep wandering in his head, refusing to give him one moment of peace ever since he gathered that piece of information from Ryeowook. He keeps thinking about the different possibilities of what happened to the Jun family, but eventually, his mind would all come back to one person.

Sungmin is still immersed in his own thoughts when he hears a voice calls out his name.

- Sungmin.

Out of all the people that Sungmin knows, there is only one person that calls him by his real name instead of his title or nickname. In this Palace, people would only call him 'Lee Sugui' or mama. Outside the Palace, his father would always call him 'Sungminnie', and his friends have a habit of calling him 'Minimini'.

But even if Sungmin cannot hear clearly what the other is saying, he can always tell this voice apart. The voice that has called out his name hundreds of times. The voice that has sung him lullabies on the nights that he could not sleep. A voice as deep as the Han river, and as warm as a sunny day in spring. And even though he has not been able to hear this voice for weeks, the feeling that he gets each time he hears the voice has come back to him like waves crashing at sea.

Sungmin turns around to face the person that he has been waiting for for weeks. But now that Kyuhyun is here, he does not know how to start a normal conversation anymore. So both of them keep standing there looking at the floor of the bridge as if counting each speck of dust lying on the floor.

Until, almost at the same time, both of them decide that the silence is enough and blurt out what they want to say.

- I need to talk to you, Kyuhyun.

- I have something to tell you, Sungmin.

- Oh, you go first, Kyuhyun.

Little does Sungmin know, letting Kyuhyun speak first this time would be the biggest mistake that he has ever made.

- I...have to go back to Hamheung for a while. To visit the Jos.

The smile on Sungmin's face suddenly feels more crooked than ever. Kyuhyun has always spent his summer in Hamheung, sometimes for more than three months, but this time, for some reason, Sungmin only has bad feelings when Kyuhyun mentions his trip.

- But... - Sungmin starts to stumble on his words - Why? It is only spring, Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun looks at Sungmin more closely, and Sungmin swears all he can see in Kyuhyun's eyes is an indescribable sadness.

- Yes, but I didn't go back last summer when we took the state examination, and Mrs Jo has not been feeling well lately.

- Oh...

Time seems to have stopped at this very moment for Sungmin. The million questions and the million thoughts that had previously filled his head have suddenly disappeared without a trace. He suddenly does not know what to think or to say to Kyuhyun anymore. Then, just when he feels like his whole body has been paralysed, he feels something pulling him forward. His hand feels a familiar warmth. But quickly enough, he does not focus on his hand anymore, because his lips now feel that familiar warmth even more clearly and passionately.

Kyuhyun is pulling him in for a kiss. His hand gently touches Sungmin's face. His lips are rough, but warm and sweet. Sungmin can vaguely sense a taste of the chestnut wine that Kyuhyun so often drinks.

Sungmin is so dazzled by the kiss that he does not even think about the possibility of getting caught by the guards, eunuchs, or even the King. Just in that moment, his mind does not control his body anymore, and he lets himself get immersed in the warm and sweet feeling that he has been waiting for since he was sixteen years old. But now that he is here kissing Kyuhyun, why does it bring nothing but a sense of longing and sadness?

As quickly as the kiss came, it is gone. Kyuhyun pulls away from the kiss, even though his hands seem to never want to leave Sungmin's face. 

It takes a long while for both of them to gather their breath. Then, when Sungmin is about to ask Kyuhyun about the meaning of the kiss, Kyuhyun quickly changes the subject.

- Sungmin, tell me something.

- Yes, Kyuhyun?

- Tell me that you are happy here.

Stunned by the question, Sungmin searches his mind for an easy answer. But there is no easy answer to this question. Is he happy here? Is this what he thought he would be doing when he imagined his life ten years ago? The answer is clear, but it would do nothing other than hurt him even more than the reality of how his life has turned out. So he does what he always does best. He keeps shut the feelings that he has deep inside him and keeps a straight face, pretending like everything is alright.

- Of course I am happy, Kyuhyun. I am on a mission. I am helping my father's operation. Here, I have Kim Sowon to accompany me, and the King has also treated me very well.

Sungmin does not look at Kyuhyun while giving him the answer. If he looks into those deep dark brown eyes, he does not know if he can keep the truth from Kyuhyun anymore.

- Then, take care of yourself, Sungmin.

Sungmin wants to say something else to Kyuhyun. He wants to reach out his hand to touch Kyuhyun's hand again, but his hand only gets halfway into the air, then is immediately taken back.

So many words unspoken.

So many feelings unexpressed.

- Kyuhyun...

Hidden. Buried deep inside their hearts.

- It will only be a short journey, right?

- ...

- And I will see you soon?

-...

Kyuhyun only smiles at him. A bittersweet smile. A smile that gives off more sadness than joy.

And there is nothing else Sungmin could say or do other than watching the other's back getting further and further away from him until he disappears around a corner. Until everything around him goes dark. Until his face is wet with what he guesses was rainwater. Sungmin keeps standing on the lonely bridge. In the dark. In the rain. Waiting for the dark, tall figure to come back and tell him that it was all a joke.

But Kyuhyun would never come back.

And this would be the last time Sungmin ever sees Kyuhyun in the Royal Palace.

******

That night, Kyuhyun stands on the hill at the edge of the woods near Seowangmyeong which overlooks all of Hanyang. He could not remember how long he has been standing here in the rain, memorising each corner, each dirty street, each vendor in the market, each shouting between housewives, and each fight between the gambling husbands. He has been on these streets thousands of times before, but today, something about them makes him not want to look away. Just for a while longer, he wants to breathe in Hanyang's air and listen to Hanyang's noises. Because tomorrow, he will be someplace far away from all that he has known. A place away from politics, from all his pain and sorrow.

Suddenly, a rustling sound pulls Kyuhyun out of his chain of thoughts. He quickly turns around with his sword ready to get out of its cover, but only to see Lee Hyukjae standing beside a tree, looking more concerned than Kyuhyun has ever seen him.

- Kyuhyun, where are you going?

Hyukjae asks him, his voice even more confused and worried than his face.

- I told you, Hyukjae, I'm going back to Hamheung for a while.

Hyukjae does not look convinced by Kyuhyun's explanation. He glances at the bag that Kyuhyun is carrying on his shoulder, then looks to the town below the hill.

- Then why is there no one in your residence, Kyuhyun? Why is there no stuff? Where are you going, Kyuhyun?

Kyuhyun lets out a deep sigh.

- It is better if you don't know the answer, Hyukjae. 

- You have been acting strange these past few weeks, especially today. So I went to check on you at your residence. But there was no servant there, as well as no stuff there. You're leaving us, aren't you?

Kyuhyun does not answer Hyukjae's question. He simply looks at the other, emotionless. But that seems to be enough answer for Hyukjae.

- I am not letting you go, Kyuhyun.

- Then how are you gonna stop me?

Kyuhyun's sword begins to get out of its sword.

- Are you gonna kill me, Kyuhyun?

- I am not gonna kill you, Hyukjae. But I won't let anyone get in my way, either.

- How can you be so selfish, Kyuhyun!?

- I am selfish? - Kyuhuyun asks, emphasising each word.

- How about Lee seonsaengnim? How about the Operation? How about us? How about... Sungmin?

Kyuhyun stays silent for a while, and for a moment, Hyukjae thought that he has slightly changed Kyuhyun's mind.

- There's nothing here for me anymore, Hyukjae.

- Kyuhyun ah, I know that you are impatient to avenge your family's death. And to see your best friend married off to your worst enemy, that did not help. But trust me, Kyuhyun, you have to be patient. Your time will come. Sungmin has the King on his side now, he might be able to change things from the inside. The King is innocent too. It is not his fault that he inherited this rotten system.

- The King is innocent? - Kyuhyun retorts - Then how about Jun Taekyung? Wasn't he innocent too? What did he do to deserve to see his whole family slaughtered before his eyes? To live knowing he is a traitor's son? To be hunted for the rest of his life?

- Kyuhyun ah...

Hyukjae does not know how to even begin to answer these questions, so he reaches out his hand to tap the other's shoulder, but Kyuhyun quickly grabs his hand and twists it. Next, Kyuhyun hits Hyukjae's three incapacitating points, leaving him lying on the ground, unable to move until the next morning.

- Kyuhyun!

But Hyukjae's shouts only went unanswered, and he could hear Kyuhyun's footsteps getting further and further away from him.

- Kyuhyun ah.. Sungmin...

But Hyukjae himself does not know how to finish the sentence that he had wanted to tell Kyuhyun so many times before.

Too many words unspoken.

Too many feelings unexpressed.  

That night, Hanyang's spring rain, along with Hyukjaes heart, feels colder than ever before.

END PART I - IN THE BEGINNING.