*Title of a song sung by Kim JaeJoong in the drama Sungkyungwan Scandal.
 

*****

"So, hyung," Dongchun finally gathers all the courage to speak up again, "you stole Kim Heechul's identity twenty years ago and have been living with his name all this time?" Dongchun's voice is inquiring, yet not accusing. 

Heechul slowly nods at his brother's question.

"How did you get out of the village, Dongchun ah?" It is Heechul's turn to raise his questions, "I saw four dead bodies in the fire in our yard. I assumed our whole family was all dead because of the plague."

Dongchun only shakes his head in response. 

"They must have been the neighbors' bodies. The government officials were throwing dead bodies into whatever fire they could find."

"Then, you... and Yeri..." 

Yeri was their baby sister. His mother gave birth to her just before he started working at the Kim residence. He cannot even remember what she looked like even if he tries to rack his brain.

"She died one month after we left the village, hyung," Dongchun's eyes are filled with grief and regret, "We were living on the streets, begging passersby for money and food, and that is no way to raise a baby. I tried my best to feed her and keep her warm, but, one day, when we were on the streets, her body just went cold on me. She was not sick or injured. It was like she just gave up on life. She just stopped breathing. She is with our parents now."

Heechul lets out a grieving sigh. It was too much tragedy, and too much sadness to process in the span of just a few hours. "I'm sorry" is all he could mutter at the moment, which seems like just a sand in the sea of pain that his brother had to endure.

But Dongchun only takes one step closer to his side and puts his hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Hyung," he calls out to his brother softly, "you were only a child yourself."

As Heechul is about to open his mouth to say something else, they hear a series of footsteps, followed by a calm and gentle voice that Heechul has feared the most ever since he started reliving his painful and tragic past.

"Heechul ah?"

Hankyung stands solemnly at the entrance of the room, his face as confused and concerned as Heechul has always expected him to be. For a long moment, he struggles to find the words that could possibly describe his feelings and explain himself to the man, but to avail. "I'm so, so sorry," is the only thing that he could utter. 

Sensing the tension and confusion that could not just be dissolved within minutes, Sungmin turns to his teachers. "Han seonsaengnim, Kim seonsaengnim, let's get back to Seowangmyeong first. We have a lot to talk about. The sun is almost up."

All of them nod at this suggestion. Then, one by one, they all follow Hankyung back to Seowangmyeong, where they can discuss the matters in a more private manner. As they as the last ones to leave, Kyuhyun slightly pulls Sungmin's hand, signaling a wish to talk in private.

"Sungmin," he says calmly, "just stay behind me, okay?"

As he only receives a confused look from Sungmin, he tries to elaborate: "I know you can take care of yourself. But... just be careful, okay? Just, stay behind me."

Suddenly, Sungmin feels like there are a thousand butterflies in his stomach. He gives Kyuhyun his brightest smile and replies gently: "Okay, Kyuhyun ah".

Back at Seowangmyeong, the seniors including Lee Youngwoon, Leeteuk, Hankyung, and Kim Heechul are having a private meeting in a study room, together with Kim Dongchun. Out in the front yard, Kyuhyun and Sungmin are sitting together with Donghae and Eunhyuk, recapping everything that they had heard from their teacher just an hour ago. Sungmin almost cannot hold his laughter at the faces that they make as he takes them through the twists and turns of their teacher's life.

"Wow," Donghae exclaims, " Kim seonsaengnim's past was so tragic. But he is so awesome now, he truly is a superstar of the whole kingdom."

To this, all three of them agree. 

"But," Eunhyuk suddenly seems concerned, "what do you think Han seonsaengnim will think?"

"What do you mean?" Donghae asks.

"I mean, the first thing that he ever told Han seonsaengnim, his name, was already a lie. Everything that Han seonsaengnim has ever known about him was a lie."

"It does not change the person he is underneath, Eunhyuk ah." Sungmin chimes in.

But Eunhyuk only shakes his head, "Han seonsaengnim is not like us. He does not like grey zones. He only sees black and white, Sungmin ah."

"But there was nothing he could have done. He did everything he could to survive." Sungmin reaffirms.

"He could have told him his real name." Eunhyuk asserts.

To this, Kyuhyun suddenly speaks up: "Then you obviously have never lived with a name for so long, you begin to forget what your real name is."

Eunhyuk stops to look into Kyuhyun's solemn eyes. "Maybe you're right," he finally looks down in defeat. 

"So," just as the atmosphere is about to get more serious, Donghae raises his voice again, "What do you think Lee seonsaengnim is gonna do with Kim Dongchun?"

"Of course my father will let him stay here at Seowangmyeong." Sungmin affirms.

"I don't think I can trust him."

"Why not?" Sungmin questions.

"First of all, he was the one that led the attacks on Kim seonsaengnim for several months on end. Second of all, he also attacked and kidnapped you!"

"But that was when he thought Kim seonsaengnim and I were the people who killed his brother," Sungmin argues. "I know he can seem cunning and untrustworthy, but he grew up on the streets. He had to be cunning to survive. Plus, I think his group could really be of help to us. They are organised, and they are well-trained. They could become part of Seowangmyeong when we need them."

"Even so, I don't think I can trust someone who has done no thorough investigation before acting on it, and who only sees violence as the only resort."

Sungmin thinks about this for a long moment. His friend had a point. Dongchun's group seems to go to extreme lengths to exact revenge on someone they were not even sure committed the crimes that they alleged. Despite how organised and powerful they have proved to be, they could create trouble in the long term.

The four of them continue to sit in silence, immersed in their own thoughts for another hour, when the door to the study slowly opens. Behind the door, Kim Dongchun and Kim Heechul walk out, equally absorbed in their thoughts. Behind them, Lee Youngwoon, Leeteuk, and Hankyung look even more concerned than before they stepped foot in the room. 

"They're done. Let's go." Eunhyuk and Donghae quickly stand up to join their seniors. 

But just as Kyuhyun is about to stand up, he realises that Sungmin is resting his head on his shoulder. His even breathing tells him that he is already in a deep sleep. It has been a long night for all of them. So Kyuhyun signals for Eunhyuk and Donghae to go without them, and uses his hand to keep Sungmin's head steady on his shoulder.

A smile suddenly appears on Kyuhyun's face. He looks up to the sky above Seowangmyeong. The sun has already begun to rise in the east. The first sunshine of the day gently caresses his cheeks, and the last wind of the night slightly blows in his hair.

Despite the drama and chaos of last night, today is shaping up to be a good day.

Kim Dongchun only stays at Seowangmyeong for one week after that. Sungmin understands the differences between Dongchun's and his father's operations will not make for a good partnership, so he only wishes Dongchun the best of luck before he goes. But on the second week after Dongchun's departure, on a cold and rainy winter night, Heechul decides to follow his brother and heads for Haeju. They will be basing their main operations there from now on.

So, to avoid a big and heart-wrenching goodbye that he does not think he can endure, Heechul decides to leave Seowangmyeong in the dead of the night. Amidst the heaviest rain of the cold winter night, his bright red umbrella that was a gift almost ten years ago seems like the only thing that could keep him safe. But he does not make ten steps away from the gate of Seowangmyeong before he hears the calmest and gentlest voice calling out for him.

"Heechul ah!"

From behind the gate, a tall figure calmly walks towards him. And for the longest moment, all he could do is take a good look at the other for the last time for who knows how long.

"You're leaving, aren't you? You're going with him?"

For the longest time, Heechul struggles to find a word to respond. In the end, he only nods to the other's question.

Hankyung lets out the deepest sigh that he has ever heard.

"You're making a mistake!" He says solemnly, "They don't know the first thing about politics. They have no ideology, no belief. They don't even have a basic knowledge of history and the administration they are fighting against. They'll be crushed in a month!"

Heechul quietly listens to the other let out all of his confusions and frustrations, before he takes a deep breath and slowly reaffirms: "I have to, Han ah."

"Why?" Hankyung's eyes are filled with confusion and sadness.

Heechul looks at him deep in the eyes: "Han ah, I hope you will never have to know how it feels like to lose all four members of your family in a night. So you will never have to know how it feels to have one of them come back from the dead. I abandoned my brother twenty years ago. I cannot abandon him now. Twenty years ago, I would have put myself through fire to protect them, and I still would now. He needs me, Han ah."

"How about Lee seonsaengnim? How about our mission?How about ... me?"

"Lee seonsaengnim and the mission will be fine without me, Han ah. You... you will be fine..."

"How about... you? Have you ever thought about yourself?" Hankyung suddenly looks straight and deep into his eyes.

Heechul is taken aback for a second, then lets out a smile that he has always shown hundreds of times.

"I will be fine," he says, somehow, in a bittersweet tone, "How can I, a superstar of this whole kingdom, be anything other than great?"

The sentence that he has said a thousand times, at this moment, suddenly feels as strange as another language.

The rain is getting heavier and heavier now. Heechul takes his bright red umbrella and holds it above Hankyung's head: "This was your umbrella in the first place."

But as Heechul extends his hand to give the umbrella to the other, Hankyung pulls him strongly into his embrace, as if afraid Heechul would slip away from him if he does not hold him tight.

"It has always suited you more than me."

Heechul has started to feel the warm and salty rain on his cheeks now. So he lets himself stay in the other's embrace for another moment before pulling out and giving him a weak smile: "Until the next time, Han ah."

Then, just as strong as the rain on the winter day, Heechul turns around and leaves behind the man that he thought would be by his side for the rest of his life.

Worried.

Distraught.

And heartbroken.

Goodbye, my Hankyung, Heechul thinks to himself as he does not dare look back at the calm figure watching him unendingly and desperately.

For you it might be goodbye, Chul ah, Hankyung watches him until there is nothing around him except for the darkness and the neverending rain, but for me, it is waiting.

Until the day he is again surrounded by the bright red robe and the mischievous smile that has captured his heart and soul since the very first time that they met.

He will never stop waiting.