I still remember perfectly the day when everything began.

I was wandering without looking in front of me, too busy admiring the buildings around, all those lights flashing constantly and everywhere, and this yellow-pinkish shade covering the sky. It was almost 6pm and I had just taken my courage to leave the house, now that the sun wasn't able to beat myself. I found home in a sharehouse in Tokyo, near the big district of Ikebukuro. We were six roommates, six young ladies, from all over the world, who came to live a brand new experience, thousands of kilometers away from our motherlands.

« Oops, I'm sorry » I said instinctively when I bumped into someone.

The old man just ignored me and turned away his gaze, before he rushed quickly into the underground abysses of the subway station.
I sighed. This time, it was my fault : I wasn't looking in front of me.

I had decided on leaving my native France to come and settle in Tokyo, for a year. It was the only solution I had found to end my suffering. I needed a break. I needed to go, far away. To go where nobody would come and look for me, where nobody would come and annoy me, just to go the farthest place possible away from this daily routine that was opressing me. I was tired of college. I was tired of my teachers. I was tired to be some kind of goose that was stuffed day after day with knowledge both interesting and unnecessary. I was tired of this permanent stress, this competition between students, this academical show I was both imposed and imposing to myself. I was starting to have enough of my friends who all seem to move forward with their lives when I, I was stucked so far behind. In the past. I was fed up with this ty job in this ty supermarket, repeting the same sentences like a robot, again and again, to be abase and humiliate when a customer hadn't read correctly the price of his damn article and came yelling at me. I couldn't stand the almost daily arguments with my mom, the remarks of my dad and the jokes of my little brother, I just couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't stand anymore to have come back home, to have become like a child again to their eyes, to be dependant on them again.

« Ako ! I waved, trying not to bring attention on myself.

- Maya ! It's been a long time ! »

I hugged my japanese friend, forgetting the crowd around us and the embarassment I was feeling.

« Let's go ? » Ako asked me smiling.

We went in direction of a coffee place recommanded by my friend, in the narrow streets of Harajuku. On the way, we exchanged a quite common yet joyful conversation, happy to meet each other.

I met Ako on a website when I was searching for a japanese penpal to improve my poor skills in Japanese. After many unsuccessful encounters, aborted discussions and rejected jerks, I had finally found the rare pearl. Ako posted a pretty simple announcement, all in Japanese, and I remember that at this time, I was barely able to read some hiragana letters I was struggling to learn for weeks.

“Hello everyone !

I am searching for a GIRL friend to speak French and Japanese !

A woman between 20 to 30 years old ONLY !

Thank you, see you soon !”

It seemed so true and correct that I decided to go for it. At the time, I was only 19 years old and I think it was one of my five most beautiful initiatives. During our discussions, topics became deeper and deeper. With me, Ako was putting her cultural modesty aside : she was talking about things she never talked with anyone and telling me everything that was happening in her life as if we had always known each other. I liked it. Little by little, we became true friends, despite the distance and our differences. I had become really good at Japanese, I could speak, read and write easily ; Ako still struggled with French. After months then years conversing together on social medias, I finally came on a trip to Japan in August 2016. And the year after, in May, right after my finals. Two years after our first real-life meeting, I was settling myself in Tokyo.

« I saw your pictures ! They are incredible Ako, I am SO happy for you !

- Maya, you're being to nice.

- No, really !

- Thank you, Ako smiled, slightly bowing her head. What do you want ? » she asked putting the menu aside so that we could both read it.

I chose to have an iced matcha latte with a slice of chocolate cake that we shared, Ako and I. While she was talking to me, I noticed her smile seemed more radiant than the past year, although her arms appeared finer to me. Nothing impressive for a japanese model, still. Ako hadn't always been a model, it was actually pretty new. Up till then, she used to struggle with depression