to live is to fight

She's back in Korea.

He read the text on his phone over and over as if he was waiting for the letters to change or disappear so he'll wake up from his dream. But the words stayed the same.

As if the screws in his brain somehow finally found themselves back to where they’re supposed to be, he stood up to take a bath before calling his manager hyung who immediately and excitedly went to his apartment. He couldn't even remember the last time that he was the first to call him.

"I need to see her," he told him the moment he entered the apartment.

“Huh? See who?” his manager asked while taking off his shoes.

“Naeun-ah,” he replied softly. It’s been so long since he said her name. Even the way it rolled off his tongue made his heart hammer in his chest.

His manager looked at him. "Did she contact you?"

He didn’t reply and by the way he refused eye contact with him, his hyung already knew the answer. “Taemin-ah,” he started, scratching the back of his head.

“I need to see her, hyung. Take me to see her."

“Taemin, you know I tried. Her manager won’tー”

“Please, hyung,” he pleaded softly, “I just need to see her. She doesn’t… she doesn’t have to speak to me or even see me. I just… I need to see her. Even just for a second. Please."

The way he spoke sent chills down his manager’s spine. He has known Taemin for almost 10 years but he’s never heard him so desperate and... broken. He had no other choice but to come to his aid. "I'll see what I can do, okay?"

Having been waiting for two hours for her, he almost felt like a creep. He didn’t know how his manager got the information on her whereabouts considering the fact that not one people from her camp will speak to any of his people but he was beyond thankful.

He just needed to see her. He needed to catch even a glimpse of her for him to be able to function.

Finally seeing the familiar van park in front of her company, his heart thudded in his chest. Sitting at the back, he straightened up and waited. And waited. Until he saw her.

Taemin felt his heart jump out of his chest when he caught a glimpse of her. For the first time in how many months, he was able to breathe.

The first thing he noticed were her cheeks. Those cheeks he loved kissing so much. She was laughing at something her manager had said and he could see her side features, her cheekbones rising up and her eyes crinkled. She still managed to take his breath away.

Then he noticed her hair. The long silky hair she loved and was proud of was now cut up to her shoulders. It was a new look because she always sported long hair. But she still looked lovely. Of course his Naeun always looked beautiful.

He had missed everything about her—the sound of that laughter and that smile that could light up a whole room.

He felt the knife in his chest twist a little more. It was as if the world was in slow motion, and he prayed and prayed she’d turn her head just a little in the hopes that she’d see him.

She stopped to sign something for a few fans who approached her.

I’