Hey, Shinwoo, it’s me, Lenena. It was really nice to meet you. Maybe we can get together again soon 😊

            You bit your lip and stared at your phone as you rolled back over on the bed. Your thumbs fidgeted as you wondered what you would say if he were to reply to you that instant. What if he was gone out of your life as quickly and mysteriously as he had come? You pondered the possibility, but you convinced yourself it couldn’t be true. What you two had shared too night just felt too familiar, too needed, too real, but as the seconds ticked by you began to question your senses. You knew what you had felt, but you were never sure of anything when it came to relationships. It was always so difficult reading people, which is why you preferred to stay to yourself, bouncing between hookups, or finding simple pleasures in the little things in life. Five minutes had gone by and you had since adjusted to the sunshine and being awake. You checked your phone once more before dragging yourself out of bed to go find Cookie, who was probably passed out on the couch. Though this was a friend’s house, you still felt uncomfortable overstaying your welcome and you knew Cookie would be hungry like you. You trudged to the living room to find her fast asleep.

            “Cookie~” you whispered, shaking her gently. She rolled over, mumbling something to herself about Xiumin, a boy she probably met last night, but still did not wake. “Cookie~” you repeated, shaking her rougher before tapping her face. She gurgled something again before her eyes flittered open. “I don’t know who this Xiumin fellow is, but he must have gotten you sprung,” you chuckled as she sat up reluctantly.

            “He was so~ hot~ and I let him get away,” she whined, dragging her hands down her face. “And what about you, missy? Who was that prince charming you walked away with last night? You know I was ready to fight him,” she interrogated as you took a seat next to her.

            “His name is Shinwoo and I don’t know how to describe it without it sounding cliché but it just felt like we clicked—or even more than clicked. It’s so weird. Now that I think about it, it feels like I’ve seen him somewhere before. I just figured I had seen him around school, but this boy definitely knows something. Is that weird?” you rambled. She puckered her lips and tapped her fingers on her chin.

            “Hmmm, I don’t know how deep this conversation or he went,” she started, smirking. You jabbed her in her side playfully. “But, the question is where does it go from here?”

            “That’s the thing! I texted him just now and he hasn’t replied. Do you think I’m being desperate?”

            “Ah, yes, the age-old question of is he into me? Am I scaring him away? Don’t worry about that nonsense. You know what you need?”

            “Hmm?”

            “Some Starbucks to get your mind off  things, or at least to sort them all out. On me,” she offered, knowing exactly what you needed at times like this. You shook your head playfully, smiling a small, knowing smile, but she was right. Too much had gone on too fast and some coffee would help you come to your senses.

            “Rise and shine, mister. I was being generous by letting you sleep in so consider that your one gift of the new year, but we still have work to do and we still have to get you into shape!” a familiar voice barked playfully at Shinwoo as he battled with the iron grasp of his bed. “Looks like you had a good time last night. You didn’t get back here until like six in the morning! You didn’t wanna spend New Year’s with your fellow mates here? Wanna talk about it?” Shinwoo’s best friend, Jinyoung, chuckled.

            “It was a wild night. I met this girl and—” he started, only to be interrupted by the blaring of an alarm.

            “Alright, everyone! Roll call! Line up, line up! Start this new year off right!” the drill sergeant’s voice boomed over the intercom. “We’ve all be generous thus far in pushing drills an hour back but get out of bed! The new year starts now!”

            “Looks like we gotta save story time for later,” Jinyoung groaned, dragging the still exhausted Shinwoo out of bed and to the yard.

            “But seriously, bro. I met this girl and it feels like we know each other? Well I think I know her,” he rushed to explain despite still sounding vague.

            “Ah, well if it isn’t our latest arrival. So nice of you to show up. You get one taste of freedom and you go nuts with it, don’t you Shinwoo?” the drill sergeant sneered when he saw the half-awake, half- dazed, and half-in love newcomer standing before him. “You haven’t been here too long, but I’ll have you know we don’t take too kindly to slackers. This camp is like the real world and the world waits for no one no matter how much fun they think they’re having. You understand that?” he hissed, spitting in Shinwoo’s face and startling him fully awake.

            “Sir, yes sir!” Shinwoo answered back, standing tall to salute him.

            “I’m glad we’ve found some common ground, then,” the sergeant smiled a twisted smile. “So now that the formalities are out of the way, we will do our normal drills. We’ll start off light with a two-mile run around the perimeter of the camp then our circuits topped off with fifty pushups. Ladies, keep up and go dammit! Go, go, go!” he roared, sending the trainees into a frenzy.

            “Ok, so as you were saying?” Jinyoung whispered as he jogged next to Shinwoo, the two of them cruising in the front of the pack so as not to be heard.

            “Well, I just feel like I know him is all,” you sighed as you twirled your stirrer in your green tea latte.

            “You’re kidding. What makes you so sure?” Jinyoung asked, baffled.

            “I feel like she’s from my childhood. How else would I explain us having this deep of a connection?” Shinwoo sighed, knowing fully well that he sounded crazy trying to convince himself that he knew you. He only had bits and pieces of memories of you, but now, talking it out, he wasn’t sure that could have possibly been you.

            “You sound so dramatic? What? You guys are some star-crossed lovers or what?” Cookie droned, taking a sip of her coffee, staring at you.

            “I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t explain it any other way. He did look familiar,” you justified.

            “She hasn’t aged a bit. I feel the same way about her as I did so many years ago,” Shinwoo admitted, fragmented memories of catching you in the yard flooding his brain.

            “But how do you know that was really her?” Jinyoung challenged.

            “Well I don’t know that I know him, but I know that he knows me. He acted like he had known me all his life and he wasn’t a or anything like that. He felt like a good, old-time friend that maybe I’ve just forgotten over the years,” you pointed out.

            “But how could you just forget about her, then? What happened?” Jinyoung probed.

            “Well, you know that I’ve been everywhere and back so it’s not hard for me to lose track of people. It be like that sometimes, you know,” you sighed, staring into your half empty cup.

            “I never wanted to lose her, but after she stopped visiting, I never really got to see her again. She kept moving around with her family or whatever,” he rebutted.

            “So, assuming this guy is the same guy you think you know, what are you going to do about it?” Cookie inquired, raising an eyebrow.

            “Seems here that you don’t have many options, my guy,” Jinyoung replied reluctantly.

            “Well, I have to keep in touch. That’s the first thing, I suppose,” you concluded.

            “And how do you expect to do that with you all the way here and her all the way there?” Jinyoung queried.

            “I’ll just have to figure it out. I met her yesterday, didn’t I?” Shinwoo muttered as he came around the last bend of the run.

            “This is true, but can you make it last? I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but you don’t even know where this guy is? Is it really worth all that effort?” Cookie proposed.

            “I can’t just give up, though,” Shinwoo declared, determined as he came up on the last bit of race.

            “So what do you think I should do, then?” you questioned.

            “Easy, you gotta go with the flow. Let things work themselves out,” Jinyoung advised.

            “And if they don’t?” Shinwoo panted as the two of them waited for the rest of the company to join them.

            “They will. If you’re really this determined, I’m sure you guys can figure it out. However, you do have to play by his rules. You said you texted him right?” Cookie summarized. You nodded.

            “Well, that whole communication thing will be a problem, but it’s not the end of the world. We have breaks here and there,” Jinyoung reminded him.

            “So I should write him a letter?” you scoffed.

            “It’s worth a shot, but don’t do anything crazy,” Jinyoung warned.

            “It may not seem like there is a lot at stake since you don’t know him that well, but it is worth trying it out at least. You seem really into this guy. Just remember to stay level headed about the whole thing and remain patient. You know how annoying snail mail is,” Cookie recommended.

            “I’ve been waiting for this girl for ten years, now. I think I know a thing or two about patience,” he sighed, patting Jinyoung on the shoulder and he bent over, still struggling to catch his breath.

            “Well good thing you know a thing or two about patience because it looks like the rest of the company are finally done with this little warm-up,” the drill sergeant interjected. “Now onto the next set of tricks you monkeys will learn to perform. Circuits, starting with 50 squats, 100 jabs, 50 high kicks and 50 pull ups. Best of luck~” he chimed sarcastically, much to Jinyoung and Shinwoo’s dismay.

            “Alright, then I guess it’s settled. This is going to be hard work,” you sighed, racking your brain, weighing the pros and cons of this kind of relationship. You still had no idea about what this man did, lived for, anything, but you were still inexplicably drawn to him, not out of mystery but rather out of a strange sense of familiarity.

            “I hope that helped a bit ‘cause ya girl has to get to work soon and I’d rather not do the walk of shame into work,” Cookie mumbled, ruffling her hair.

            “You’re crazy, woman!” you exclaimed, never not astonished by your friend’s exploits.

            “But you love me! I’ll see you later, unnie~ Go snag you a mystery man!” she cheered as she exited the store towards her car.

You stared at your now empty cup, still wondering what to do from here. You knew you wanted to seek out this mystery man, but the same familiarity that had drawn you to him was now gnawing away at something deep inside you, a something you didn’t know you were unsure you wanted to revisit again. Life had been tumultuous growing up as part of a military family, constantly being moved from city to city to keep up with your brother and father’s bases. You had been in California now for some time and had moved north to attend college, but the armed forces still haunted you regardless of how many miles you had traveled to keep it at bay. You respected your brother and father dearly for their service, but you could never forgive them for the missed birthdays, missed holidays, missed graduations that accumulated with their being gone. Eventually, you had learned to cut losses and accept when you lost track of people, always knowing that someone would miss something important to you. There was no need getting upset over missed anniversaries, missed performances, missed anything. You had just grown so numb to the way things worked and the way most people were, keeping you tied to the small group of loyal and interesting characters you called best friends. However, when Shinwoo had walked up to you last night, he brought forth a flood of memories, of pain, of relief and security that you hadn’t felt this strong in years. He made you think about things he couldn’t possibly been a part of there. If he had been there, surely, you would have remembered him, someone so caring, so polite, so understanding. You shook your head, thoroughly convinced you couldn’t possibly know him, but the feeling that you did was too much to bear. You wanted to know everything about this man and if that meant writing letters and waiting days for a response, so be it. This was your only option. Though you longed to see him, embrace him, fall in love for a night with him again, you wanted to know him first.

“Jesus of , I can’t feel my arms,” Jinyoung whined as he slumped onto the bench in the mess hall after the company had finished their morning drills.

“You and me both,” Shinwoo pointed out as his fork wavered in his jelly-like hands.

“So, how you feeling?”

“Hmm?” Shinwoo hummed nonchalantly, barely batting an eye.

“About her, .”

“What is there to feel? I already know I gotta do what I gotta do,” he shrugged, knowing full well that he was uncertain in how to approach the situation.

“You say that now, but I bet you don’t even have a plan,” Jinyoung inferred, nudging his friend for he knew him too well.

“I just gotta be patient, remember? There’s not much I can do from in here. It was fun while it lasted,” Shinwoo recalled.

“Oh, so you are giving up, just like that? Doesn’t sound like the Shinwoo I know~” Jinyoung teased.

“What can I say? Ball’s in her court,” he sighed dejectedly.  

Hi, Shinwoo, I don’t really know where to begin, but I guess I just wanted to find a way to talk to you. I tried texting you, to no avail, so I figured I would listen and follow your original instructions. This is a little weird because this just feels so formal, like I have to put down all my feelings for you. To be honest, I don’t even know what that means and I never was one that was in touch with her feelings. However, I just met you, but it’s really been getting to me to think that I didn’t just meet you. For some reason, I felt so comfortable with you, a complete stranger. You said some things last night that you probably won’t remember by the time you get this letter. It sounded like you knew me, too!

Do you?

Lenena

1-1-19

As the last light in the camp began to dim, he pulled something from under his mattress, holding it gingerly as if it would turn to ash. He peered at the picture, a single tear threatening to fall as he thought about everything he had missed and how he never wanted it to happen again. He wanted to be there for everything that he could. He prayed that you gave him the chance before tucking the decade old picture back under his bed.