The sun has risen, my tears were long gone, stained on my cheeks, but the pain in my chest remained. It was as if my heart has been stabbed by a sharp blade, and the smooth, cold, sharp surface refused to be removed. I feel my heart bleed and cry out in pain as the blade slowly twists inside, leaving a permanent wound

I don't know how long I have been running, but I didn't care. I just ran, I ran and ran until I could no longer think, or breathe. And, finally, having no strength left inside me, I decided to stop. With trembling, weak knees and with shakey hands, I decided to walk back home, dreading to see the look of worry on my band members faces.

However, not wanting to wait too long, and to just get it over with, I quickly but quietly open the door. I internally groan in frustration , hearing the foot steps of my roommates rushing towards me. Before they can notice my weak face, I immediately lower my head, covering my sad features with my bangs and quickly rush past them to my bedroom.

All my energy has vanished, I felt as if the light that was once inside me was slowly disappearing into a dark void. The feeling made me feel empty, weak and cold. I felt as if it was too late grasp the light and protect it from the cold darkness. It completely captured anything pure and warm inside me.

My ears were deaf to the sound of their worried voices, calling for my name to return to them. I had no more will power to face them. They wanted an explanation, they needed to know the reason for my sad, heart wrenching state. They wanted to know if I was truly okay. Oh, how I wished I was, how I wished I had the strength to tell them that I was indeed okay, but, I was far from it.

I hastily shut my door and immediately lock the door. I lean my back against the door and clench my eyes tight and grit my teeth, hearing the sound of them banging on my door and calling out my name, desperate to see me.

"Lisa! Please open the door," I hear Jisoo beg. Chae then continues,

"We just need to know if you're okay!" My heart slightly breaks at the sadness in their voices. I quickly push myself off the door and immediately turn on my music, blasting it to mask the sounds of my pleading roomates. I jump on my bed and place my pillow on my face, whimpering from the pain in my chest that was slowly increasing.

Exhaustion suddenly shoots down my body and I feel myself slowly entering the darkness. The last thing that I hear before entering my dream state was the music ending and the sweet sound of Jennie calling out for me from behind the door,

"Lisa?"

.............

I feel my body jolt and my eyes widen at the sound of my text tone. I instantly sit up and quickly grab my phone, I roll my eyes and groan seeing the name on my phone, it was Bambam,

Bam: Hey Lice! I'm planning on going to a club tonight! Want to come? I need my old wing woman ;)

I roll my eyes and mutter,

"Idiot." I look up and turn my gaze outside my window and gasp at the sight. It was already dark outside and the house was surprisingly quiet. I look back down at my phone and repeatedly scan the message while biting my lip. I was debating if I should should go or not. But, suddenly, all the memories of these past few days quickly appeared in my mind, making me flinch at the sudden pain in my chest once again.

'I need to do this,' I thought to myself.

Determined to go out, I quickly shake off the fear of getting caught by Manager Oppa, and most importantly, YG and immediately reply,

Me: What the hell, sure, why not."

I needed this night of freedom. Running was no longer useful, it no longer helped clear my head. I desperately needed to find a way to soothe this awful pain in my heart. I look down at my phone after hearing the text tone,

Bam: Sick! Don't worry, I'll pick you up in 3 hours! Not planning on drinking too much!

Me: Okay! See you soon!

After throwing my phone to the side, I lifelessly get off my bed and begin to get ready for the night.

'This will be an interesting night,' I thought to myelf.

................

After 2 hours, I was finally dressed and ready for the night. I look at my reflection and scan my outfit. I was dressed in a tight rose gold dress that had a slit on side, showing off my thigh. As I lean forward to apply lipstick, I suddenly get a message from Bambam,

Bam: Hey! I'm outside in the car!

Me: Okay! On my way out!

I immediately grab my purse and walk out of the room.

...............

Hearing my door open, I instantly begin to hear rapid footsteps walking my way, causing me to groan in annoyance.

'Please, not now, I can't' I think to myself, still mentally drained to face them. As I was putting on my black heels, I hear Jisoo carefully ask,

"Where are you going?" I look up to see Jisoo and Chae already standing in front of me, observing my movements. I glance behind them to see Jennie following behind, slowly scanning my outfit