Now that the alcohol was out of her system, Hyejin could finally look back on last night with a sober mind.

She quickly realized how foolish she had been; she had gotten herself half-drunk and had willingly follow a stranger home. Byulyi might as well be a serial killer and she wouldn’t have known better.

Sitting across from her now, with a plate of pancakes in between them, Hyejin took the time to study the older woman.

She took in Byulyi’s silky dark hair (she remembered how smooth and soft they were when she ran her fingers through them), her pale complexion (a stark contrast to her own tanned skin), her straight nose that would scrunch up when she laughs, and her pale pink lips (they were soft and delicious and she missed having them on hers).

Hyejin’s line of thought quickly derailed. She unconsciously her lips, her whole body pulsating with want; if they weren’t sitting inside a restaurant filled with people, she would have jumped Byulyi then and there.

Someone cleared their throat, snapping Hyejin out of her trance.

“I did say you can stare,” Byulyi drawled. She propped her elbow on the table and leaned her chin on her fist, staring amusedly at Hyejin. “But I also said you have to kiss me in return.”

Hyejin felt the blood rushing to her face and she quickly averted her gaze. “O-Oh, these pancakes look delicious,” she said, a little too excitedly.

She picked up a fork and cut through the stack; she trembled with genuine excitement when her fork went through smoothly. She took a bite of the fluffy pancakes and hummed in approval.

“Delicious?” Byulyi asked, her gaze never strayed from Hyejin’s face.

Hyejin nodded as she cut through the stack again, smiling appreciatively. She was about to take another bite when she realized something.

“Byulyi-ssi, why aren’t you eating?” she asked, frowning.

“I’m not hungry.” Byulyi’s mouth curved into a playful smile. “I like watching you eat, though, Hyejin-ssi.”

Hyejin quickly covered with one hand. “Is it because I look messy?”

Byulyi’s smile and gaze softened as she said, “No, you look beautiful.”

Hyejin felt something warm and fuzzy forming in her chest; she had been on the receiving end of similar compliments before, but it felt different coming from Byulyi.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, smiling shyly. She hesitated for a moment before holding out her fork towards Byulyi. “I feel bad eating alone,” she reasoned, feeling her cheeks warming up at her own actions. “So please eat some.”

Something flashed across Byulyi’s eyes, but it quickly disappeared. “Thank you,” she murmured.

As Byulyi leaned over to take a bite, Hyejin's head started to throb; it’s not painful enough that she wants to bang her head on the table, but it was enough to make her be on alert.

Byulyi sat back in her chair, slowly chewing the pancake and savouring its taste. Hyejin couldn’t take her eyes off of her as a scene from her past started to play in her mind – like a movie in sepia colours.

 

I was in a restaurant, sitting at a table for two with a plate of pancakes in front of me.

“I hope you like pancakes,” said the girl sitting across from me with a friendly smile on her face.

I narrowed my eyes, not attempting to be friendly at all. “I don’t take bribes, unnie.”

“It’s not a bribe.”

My eyes flickered towards the pancakes. They looked mouth-wateringly delicious; enough to make my stomach growl. But all bribes looked tasty.

“I don’t believe you. Why are you being nice to me?”

The older girl actually looked surprised; worried even. “When have I not been nice to you, Hyejin-ssi?”

I didn’t want to admit it, but this girl had been nothing but nice.

“Yes, yes. You’re always nice, unnie, but we’re supposed to be rivals.”

“How about a truce? Since Wheein has a boyfriend now.”

I honestly didn’t need the reminder. Then again, I had been friends with Wheein for a lot longer and I knew how things are with my best friend.

“It won’t last,” I said confidently as I picked up a fork and sliced the stack of pancakes. A smile tugged at my lips as I easily cut through them. “Wheein will break up with him in a week or so. You can’t give up yet, unnie.”

I heard the amusement in her voice when she said, “I thought we’re supposed to be rivals?”

I quickly realized my mistake and blushed. “I-I just hate to see you give up so quickly,” I mumbled before shoving a forkful of fluffy pancakes into my mouth.

After two more bites, my curiosity got the better of me.

“Unnie, what do you mean when you said you want a truce?” I asked, staring straight into the older girl’s eyes.

The unnie shrugged. “I thought that since Wheein’s not going to be available for a while, maybe we could, you know, be friends.”

I couldn’t hold back the surprise gasp that escaped my lips. “You… want to be friends with me?”

“I think it’ll make Wheein happy if we are.”

I let out a bitter laugh.

Of course it was about Wheein. Why else would this unnie bother about me?

“Yes, I think so too,” I said quietly. I cut through the stack of pancakes again and hold out a forkful of fluffiness towards the unnie. “Open up.”

The unnie looked a little taken aback, her cheeks turning slightly pink. “Wh-what are you doing, Hyejin-ssi?”

“It’s my way of greeting my new friend. And call me Hyejin, unnie.”

“Hyejin-ssi, uh, I mean, Hyejin-ah, isn’t this a little too intimate for friends?”

“This is what I usually do with Wheein.”

“But that’s because you’re in love with her!”

I grunted. “Unnie, eat it or I won’t be friends with you.”

“Okay, okay. Just a bite.”

I watched with a smirk as the older girl slowly chew on the pancakes.

“Unnie…”

“Mmm?”

“You look like a hamster when you eat.”

The unnie let out a choked sound. “Wh-what?”

“I’m saying that you’re cute…like a hamster.”

The older girl blushed, looking everywhere but at me. “A-Are you always this greasy?”

I giggled. “Only with my friends.” I paused and studied her. “We’re friends now, right?” I asked softly.

The unnie finally looked at me and smiled. “Yes, Hyejin-ah. We’re friends now.”

 

The flashback ended as abruptly as it started.

Hyejin blinked, letting her vision come back into focus. Then, her eyes fell on Byulyi.

The woman was looking at her with worried eyes. “Are you okay?” she asked. She reached out and took Hyejin’s hand in hers. “Is your head hurting again?”

Hyejin shook her head and smiled to assure her. “Not anymore.”

“You were spaced out for a while there, Hyejin-ssi. Is something wrong?”

Hyejin hesitated. She had never shared about her flashbacks with anyone outside her family and Wheein; she was a little nervous sharing it with someone she barely knows, but she felt that she could trust Byulyi.

“I’ve…been here before,” she said, casting her eyes around the restaurant. “I’ve eaten the same pancakes, sat at this table, but…”

“But you were with someone else?”

Hyejin stared at Byulyi. The older woman was smiling, but her dark eyes told another story.

“Are you jealous?” Hyejin asked tentatively.

“A little, I guess.” Byulyi gave her a half-smile. “Knowing that you shared this space with someone else, I just…”

Hyejin felt her heart flutter a little. “Don’t worry, Byulyi-ssi. She’s just a friend.”

“A special friend?”

Hyejin fell silent; she honestly didn’t know.

That unnie and her…they were rivals and then they were friends; could something else have happened between then and now?

“I don’t know,” Hyejin confessed. “I…don’t remember much about my past.”

She held her breath, expecting the older woman to gasp in surprise or utter sympathetic words at her revelation; those were the common reactions, but she was disappointed when Byulyi said nothing.

Hyejin suddenly felt scared. She couldn’t even glance at Byulyi’s face, in case she didn’t like what she sees. Byulyi was the first person outside her circle of trust to know; not even her colleagues were aware of her…condition.

“I’m sorry.”

Hyejin’s head snapped up at those words. Byulyi looked like she was in so much pain and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Byulyi brought Hyejin’s hand to and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered against Hyejin’s knuckles.

“Byulyi-ssi, why are you crying?” Hyejin was alarmed to see the older woman’s tears. “And what’s with the apology? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Byulyi slowly opened her eyes and smiled; it was such a sad smile, Hyejin felt like crying too. “I’m sorry that I can’t help you,” she said. “I want to, but I don’t know how...”

Hyejin tilted her head, confused by Byulyi’s words. “You don’t have to, Byulyi-ssi. We just met after all.” She paused. “I’m the one who should apologize. I just dropped this on you out of the blue...”

Byulyi shook her head. “No, I’m glad you told me,” she said, giving Hyejin’s hand a little squeeze. “I really am…”

Hyejin felt at ease after hearing Byulyi’s words,  a smile tugging at her lips.

Her smile faltered when she realized that their relationship was too vague for Byulyi to be this kind and considerate towards her; she decided to change that.

“Byulyi-ssi, I know this is an odd request…”

“Yes?”

“Can we be friends?”

Byulyi blinked. “Friends?”

Her grip on Hyejin’s hand loosened a little; Hyejin could clearly see the hurt in her eyes and she immediately explained herself.

“I-It’s only because we just met. I want to get to know you better before we become more, um…”

“Intimate?”

Hyejin nodded, smiling shyly.

Byulyi chuckled and tightened her grip on Hyejin’s hand. “Okay, Hyejin-ssi. Let’s be friends.”

“Ah, you can just call me Hyejin.”

“Then, call me Byul.”

Hyejin was glad that Byulyi agreed, but she felt a little conflicted on the inside.

Hearing the word “friend” coming out of Byulyi’s mouth sounded so wrong and Hyejin didn’t know why; it was odd considering she was the one who asked for this.

She also didn’t know why her heart felt like it was being pierced by a thousand needles.