Everyone agreed that they should spend the night at Byulyi’s apartment since Hyejin didn’t want to leave Byulyi’s side and Wheein had promised Eunbi that she would keep an eye on Hyejin; she also didn’t want to miss the chance to spend the night with her girlfriend.

As soon as they stepped inside the apartment, Yongsun quickly dragged Wheein to her room, all the while giggling and whispering to each other. Hyejin rolled her eyes seeing her friends’ antics; Byulyi merely chuckled with amusement.

“I guess you’re sleeping with me tonight,” Byulyi said softly as she took Hyejin’s hand in hers and guided her deeper into the apartment, towards her room.

Nothing had changed much since the last time Hyejin had been there – the mere thought of their “first” meeting made her blush. She quickly shook the memory away and went over to Byulyi and helped her dress for bed.

“I can do it myself, you know,” Byulyi commented with a smirk after she was fully-dressed in her pajamas.

“It’s not every day that I get to take care of you, Byul-ah,” Hyejin replied.

“Yes, but I don’t want you to strain yourself helping me…”

“I’m not straining myself,” Hyejin assured her with a smile, “I want to do this. Please let me.”

“Okay, okay,” Byulyi relented with a sigh, “but promise you’ll take a break if it’s too much.”

“Yes, baby,” Hyejin chuckled and pecked Byulyi’s lips, taking the older woman by surprise. “I promise.”

Then, she ushered a blushing Byulyi towards the bed, taking care to prop her right hand on a pillow. After ensuring Byulyi was comfortable in that position, she slipped under the covers on her left side and scooted closer until she could rest her head on Byulyi’s chest, one arm circling her torso. Byulyi reciprocated, circling her left arm around Hyejin’s shoulders, pulling her even closer.

Hyejin let out a contented sigh, enjoying the warmth radiating from her girlfriend and enveloping her whole being. Then, her gaze fell on Byulyi’s bandaged hand and formed a frown.

“Why did you do it?” she asked in a quiet voice.

“Do what?” Byulyi asked, puzzled by the sudden question.

Hyejin looked up at Byulyi with curious eyes. “Why did you hurt yourself, Byul-ah?”

Byulyi tore her gaze away to stare at the ceiling. “I was angry at myself,” she murmured. “I let myself be in the same situation as the past. I felt like a fool. I just…” she hesitated, swallowing a lump in , “…I suddenly realized that I had barely changed over the years and I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror, so...”

Byulyi’s words faltered and she gave an indifferent shrug before chuckling awkwardly.

But Hyejin wasn’t laughing. She rose slightly from her position, propping herself up on one elbow, and guided Byulyi by the chin until their eyes met. She could see the unshed tears in the older woman’s eyes and the quivering of her lips.

“What’s wrong with not changing?” she asked softly. “You, in my memory were warm, kind and sweet, Moon Byulyi. You were also patient with me even when you didn’t have to be. I like that past you a lot and I also like the current you. So why do you need to change?”

“Because that past me was cowardly, selfish and greedy,” Byulyi replied bitterly, a lone tear escaping her eye, but she never took her eyes off of Hyejin. “I did all I possibly could to keep you with me even though I knew it was futile. Not when you still had Wheein inside your heart,” she added under her breath.

But Hyejin heard her clearly and she frowned. “You knew I still had feelings for her back then?”

“Yes and I still chose to date you.” Byulyi smiled weakly. “Selfish, right?”

“No,” Hyejin shook her head, "I think you’re hopeful and persistent. You know what you want and you didn’t stop until you get it.” She paused, smiling bitterly. “Unlike me who ran away after the initial rejection…”

Byulyi frowned. “What rejection?”

“I didn’t tell you? Wheein rejected me before we even started dating.”

Byulyi’s frown deepened. “So I was just your rebound?” she asked in an incredulous tone.

“W-We don’t know that,” Hyejin hastily said. “I mean, I still haven’t remembered how I suddenly started dating you-”

“You asked me out.”

Hyejin stared at Byulyi with wide eyes. “I asked you out? Why would I-”

The words died in when she saw a dark look crossing Byulyi’s face and that sardonic smile from before found its way back onto her lips.

“Come to think of it, you sounded different when you called me that day,” she said slowly, as if piecing the puzzles together inside her head, “like you’ve been crying…but I was too excited to ask if you were okay.” She paused and laughed bitterly. “I should have known. There was no way you would have accepted me if something hadn’t happened between you and Wheein…”

Hyejin quickly laid back down on Byulyi’s chest and wrapped both arms tight around her slim body, afraid that the older woman would suddenly run away.

“That’s in the past, Byul-ah,” she breathed against Byulyi’s neck, her voice sounded desperate even to her ears. “It doesn’t matter how we started. The important thing is that my present self sincerely likes you.”

A long silence followed and Hyejin feared that Byulyi was thinking about breaking up with her again. Her arms around Byulyi tightened unconsciously and she buried her face deeper into Byulyi’s neck. She visibly flinched when a sigh suddenly escaped Byulyi’s lips.

“You’re right,” Byulyi’s voice was gentle in her ears and Hyejin felt something soft pressed against her temple, “it’s all in the past now. The present is what matters.”

Hyejin could sense that Byulyi was holding back, but she was afraid to inquire further; afraid of hearing her answer. So she just shut her eyes tight and hoped that the older woman would not disappear on her in the morning.

We were on our way home after our fourth date, walking side by side, under her favourite yellow umbrella.

I made an exception to rule number one because it was raining – I had no umbrella and there were less people in the streets. Plus, it was nice to walk home with someone once in a while.

I was starting to like our dates and it made me feel guilty knowing that I only asked her out just so that I could break her heart later on. I should really end things quickly before I got too attached to her…

“Could you hold this for a second?” she suddenly asked as she handed the umbrella to me with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Then, she leapt out from under the umbrella and skipped her way to the middle of the deserted streets, twirling under the rain.

“Unnie,” I cried out over the sound of the rain, “you’re going to get sick!”

“I’ll be fine!” she shouted back, a stupid grin spreading across her face. “I like doing this once in a while!”

I shook my head in disbelief, but a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I watched her playing with the puddles like a five-year-old. My heart thumped hard when I heard her high-pitched squeals over the rain and the cute giggling that followed.

I placed a hand on my chest, wondering if something was wrong with me – it wasn’t the first time that, by just looking at Unnie, my heart started acting weird.

“Hyejin-ah, have you ever felt like kissing someone so bad, you just want to grab their face and crash your mouth against theirs?”

I nearly choked when that particular question invaded my mind – the very question that led me to impulsively kiss my best friend and then got rejected afterwards. That memory quickly dampened my mood; all I wanted to do now was curl up in my bed and cry.

Seeing that Unnie was still in her own world, soaked from head to toe, I let out a tired sigh and marched over to her, determined to drag her away and resume our journey home.

But as soon as I got her back under the umbrella and she looked at me with those bright eyes and that crooked smile, something weird happened inside me. My body suddenly felt warm, even though it was cold and raining, and my eyes seemed to be fixed on . Wheein’s question kept repeating inside my head, making my mouth dry, and the next thing I knew, I was grabbing the front of her jacket with my free hand and my mouth was pressing against hers.

Her lips were cold and wet, but I still felt all warm inside from the contact; I was sure my face had turned beet red, but I didn’t care. When she didn’t respond, I pulled back and looked at her in the eyes, frowning.

“Do you not want this, unnie?” I asked timidly, all the boldness from before melting into a puddle at my feet. My voice was low, but we were so close, I knew she could hear me. “T-Tell me if you don’t-”

“Of course I want this,” she said fiercely, cupping my face with both of her hands, the look in her eyes making my heart flutter. “I’ve always wanted this…”

She leaned in and my eyes automatically closed as our lips touched. I didn’t know how good it felt to kiss someone and to be kissed back – it was like fireworks had erupted inside my chest and my brain was melted at the same time.

I let the umbrella fall to the ground as my arms circled around her neck; I felt her hands on my face moving to hold my waist, pulling our bodies closer, as we continued to kiss, not caring where we were or who might be watching.

At the back of my mind, I knew it was already too late for me to separate from Moon Byulyi. I liked her too much to let her go now.

Hyejin woke up in the middle of the night, heart racing and body sticky with sweat. She quickly glanced up and let out a sigh of relief when she saw that Byulyi was still there, looking at peace in her sleep. She calmed herself down by listening to Byulyi’s steady heartbeat while pondering about her flashback/dream.

The headaches were almost gone now; the flashbacks were coming to her much easier and more frequent – she had not decided yet if it was a good thing or not. She smiled a little, thinking about her first kiss with Byulyi, but a frown quickly replaced it.

It left a bitter taste in knowing that her initial intention of dating Byulyi was to break her heart – she did attempt to redeem herself by wanting to end things, but it still felt wrong. This was probably a secret that she had kept to herself all this time and she wasn’t about to share it with anyone; least of all Byulyi – not if it meant putting that look on Byulyi’s face again.

She knew she had to confess this truth to Byulyi sooner or later, but she prayed that it would be much, much later – at least until she was able to remember everything. With that thought in the recesses of her mind, Hyejin closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.