Interlude I: Sola Fide

Giant Country, World #2891

Over the river and through the wood a few million light years, Kyungsoo of World #2891 is also having a rough day, and it’s all because of a certain stripey, wart-covered vegetable. He didn’t like the taste of snozzcumbers yesterday; he didn’t like the smell of snozzcumbers stewing over the fire this morning; and now, he is certainly not enjoying the sensation of snozzcumber juice dripping from his hair and clothes.

“Snozzcumbers is disgusting,” says the giant looming over him, making a horrid wrinkly face at the warty vegetable. “They is the worst kinds of foodstuffs. But sitting in a snozzcumber is better than sitting in a giant’s stomach with other poor dead human beans.”

Kyungsoo winces as he digs another lump of snozzcumber mucus out of his ear. It oozes out in sticky, greenish strings that reek of rot. “But Big Friendly Chanyeol -”

“No.” The BFC wags an enormous finger. “You is not wanting to be chewed up by Taeyeon all snappy like a crockadowndillie, is you?”

“N-no.”

“And Taeyeon is searching for little human beans everywhere in my house but in nasty, rotsome snozzcumbers, is I right or is I left?”

“But -”

“No buts, little Kyungsoo. Is I right or is I left?”

Kyungsoo hangs his head dejectedly. “Right.”

The BFC smiles gently down at him, offering a flat, wrinkly hand for Kyungsoo to hop on. “Come on. We is having too much excitements today and not enough naps.” Kyungsoo’s heart soars, because naps - Kyungsoo’s adoration of naptime seems to be the only constant across all iterations of him in all universes - but then -

“Runt!” Taeyeon’s voice booms from outside the BFC’s cave, sending shivers up Kyungsoo’s spine. “I hears you talking again! Is you having a pet I doesn’t know about?”

“No, no, Taeyeon!” Panic streaks across the Big Friendly Chanyeol’s face, and he stuffs Kyungsoo into a musty pocket, ignoring his squeak of surprise. “No pets! I is talking to myself again! You know, just being Runt! Silly Runt who eats snozzcumbers and no human beans!”

Taeyeon grumbles and moves around outside but doesn’t leave. The sound of her sniffing the air is audible even inside the cave, but Kyungsoo can’t take another second inside the dusty pocket. Heart pounding, he sticks his head out of the pocket and gasps for breath. “BFC, I can’t breathe in here!”

“Oh!” The BFC scoops him out hurriedly. “Sorry, but you must be very quiet like a little mousie! If Taeyeon be catching you -”

“Runt, why is you talking to yourself again?”

“No, I is not saying anything!” Wringing his hands, the BFC flaps his ears in distress. “I is… I is only saying what a nice skirt you has on today, Taeyeon!”

There is a pause. Kyungsoo grips the side of the pocket for dear life as the BFC sways with nerves. When Taeyeon finally speaks, he almost falls back into the pocket. “You is talking to yourself about my skirt, Runt?”

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