"I don't think this will work anymore Seulgi"

Irene spoke with confidence in every single word and in hersef, her heavy gaze never matching the softness of her voice or the gentle tone with which she spoke. Seulgi knew that tone was especially reserved for her and for no one else. Years of knowing her leader expressed the truth behind her words and knew her beyond the façade that she always carried in order to protect them.

Years of being her lover made her discover the truth. For Irene, Seulgi was her 'baby', the person she protected a little more than the others. But still, even with how much she knew her heart and how much she knew about her personality, Seulgi realized that she didn't​ know her enough and that she hadn't​ seen her from the inside.

Seulgi wasn't​ enough for Irene

"Why, unnie?" Seulgi tried to calm her voice, making the biggest attempt not to show her broken heart "What happened?"

"It's not the right life for a relationship, Seul..." Irene let out a sigh and ran a hand through her long hair, ruffling it and leaving it in complete disarray "For months we can't​ go on a date or sit down to watch a movie. We haven't even had ... it's a busy life "

Irene was right. Since 'Red Flavor' came to light; they barely had time to sleep more than five hours a day. The schedule was saturated only a few weeks after the mini-album was revealed thanks to the incredible popularity it had. Little by little they stopped talking, then sharing a bed and caresses, finally they got to behave like two total strangers and couldn't even be close to each other in interviews or photo sessions. It was impossible to continue with such kind of relationship

They had started well and things worked even in the midst of fame and eventual fortune. But they couldn't​ pretend that everything was fine any longer

Even when Seulgi struggled to patch the relationship and pretend that everything was fine, that everything would be solved with a simple conversation. Irene was the one who had taken the first step, perhaps too stifled with the truth to endure it a little more. The leader had always had much better control of her emotions than Seulgi had even after all the time she spent training and perfecting her technique of dance and singing.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Seulgi still had hopes although they were very small

"I'm sorry." Irene looked down and took a few steps toward her now group mate. It was so strange to think of those words when for years they had been replaced by 'lover'. Seulgi looked too broken right now and Irene had a big burden on her heart after the poor girl looked like that.

"If..." Seulgi blinked quickly, trying to scare away the tears and have a little more strength... damn, why did she have to be a baby? Irene was behaving really mature and Seulgi just like a teenager. She is supposed to have left that stage of her development far behind "If... if I make love to you right now, would it... fix something?"

Irene's gaze softened almost immediately. Seulgi really believed that their problems started and ended with the lack of but it went a little bit further. And, as if talking to a small child, she approached Seulgi to her cheek. The younger girl could no longer contain her tears or her sobs and let them shake her like the breeze shakes a tree

"It wouldn't​ be making love to me, Seul... it would only be "

Seulgi let out a particularly strong sob at that response. So it was true, Irene didn't​ love her anymore

"I still love you, unnie." Seulgi muttered between sobs and took Irene's hands in despair before meeting her eyes. All those times when she looked​ at her after a kiss, all the times when she murmured a simple 'I love you' were disappearing in the wind

"We don't​ have time to love each other, Seul. Understand me" Irene's voice had a touch of desperation and urgency, Seulgi took it as a sign that she didn't​ want to end things this way either "I love you too and you are very special to me but... it's not something we can solve. It's not your fault, nor mine, it's just that there's not enough time... I don't​ want to love you half-heartedly"

Seulgi couldn't​ answer but she definitely believed that it was better to love in half than to love nothing at all

"Can I at least kiss you one last time? Please…"

Irene only nodded slowly before standing on her toes and giving Seulgi a gentle kiss that she answered with want, wrapping her hands around Irene for the last time. The kiss tasted like tears and lipstick but above all it tasted like bitterness, a lot of bitterness.

Seulgi knew what a true broken heart was that day

***

"Do you plan to stay there all day? She is already out there, being... herself"

Joy's voice made Seulgi hug her pillow a little more tight and close her eyes. Exactly two weeks had passed since Irene ended the relationship, the promotions for Red Flavor ended too but the real work was just starting. They had a couple of days off to clear their mind of everything and Seulgi, instead of spending it with her friends, decided to lie on her bed and watch the time go by. Sleep enough to forget what had happened

She kept repeating 'stop being a baby' inside her brain and tried to forget Irene that much that by this point she couldn't​ cry anymore. There were pangs of pain in her chest every time she remembered her leader and she felt a lump in when she woke up and Irene was no longer by her​ side. Seulgi got used to the pain and the feeling of emptiness. She got used to suffer

She got used to not living after Irene

Joy had tried to cheer her up by inviting her to watch movies with Wendy, Yeri was out there eating with Key and Taeyeon while Irene had vanished from the dorm as soon as the day turned around. Seulgi knew that she couldn't​ stay forever crying in her room, it wasn't​ healthy... however, her mind and body were so powerful and she simply couldn't force herself to move even if she wished for it.

After several unsuccessful attempts to get her out of the room, Joy had finally exploded in anger at her beloved 'unnie'. Seulgi pretended not to hear a word

"She doesn't​ care if you're okay... you know that, unnie"

"Shut up Sooyoung..."

Seulgi didn't want to listen anymore

"No, unnie! YOU are the one who should stop! Do you wanna know the truth? Joohyun-unnie is already dating someone!"

The dancer immediately sat on the bed before that statement. Joy took a step back in surprise: Seulgi looked completely different, she was another person she'd never met before... she looked empty, broken and sad. She usually saw the optimistic side of things but now it seems that she couldn't​ find that side.

Joy almost wanted to turn off the lights in the room just to not see the broken expression of her unnie

"What are you saying Sooyoung? With who?"

The redheaded girl regretted having opened . She just wanted to make a change in Seulgi but apparently she just hit on the softest string of her unnie and was provoking a chain reaction. How the hell was she going to get out of this without pushing Seulgi deeper into that darkness?

"I didn't​ say anything, unnie"

"Speak now, there's​ no going back. Who is she dating?"

Deep silence

"Answer me Sooyoung! Who is Joohyun-unnie dating?! "

"I don't​ know her name! It's... it's the purple girl that unnie talked about some day"

The purple girl…

Seulgi immediately began to connect the wires in her brain from one side to the other, her memory working quickly in order to find the name or face of that girl... Irene had told her that she was her best friend, that she was someone very close to her and that she loved her so much because it had been her first love

Irene had never forgotten about the so-called 'purple girl'. She only tried to hide that love with a relationship with Seulgi

The dancer immediately got up from the bed and ran to the door without caring how she was dressed. She needed to breathe, she needed to escape this cruel reality, she needed to feel that she wasn't been used by Irene. She passed right by Joy who tried to stop her with words, opened the door and when she was about to leave she found Wendy

"Seulgi... where are you going?" Wendy had a clear expression of anguish, too worried about her best friend "What's happening? Why are you screaming?"

Seulgi said nothing, the tears shone in her innocent eyes and Wendy took both hands to cradle her face and caress her cheeks.

"What's wrong, Seulgi?"

The warmth in Wendy's hands was great, healing the wounds of her soul but ... she wasn't​ the person Seulgi wanted. The dancer removed Wendy's hands from her face gently without being able to control her crying anymore, letting the tears paint her cheeks. She said no more, just stepped past Wendy and left the dorm while listening to the screams of Joy and Wendy asking her to stop.

***

Seulgi was breathing hard after her fifth dance routine.

Her muscles ached and burned, sweat dripped ceaselessly from every pore of her body and her lungs were exhausted from lack of air but she couldn't​ be stopped. Every time she looked in the mirror, every time she saw her exhausted reflection, she remembered Irene and her beautiful voice saying 'Seulgi-ya~' with a tone so much her own. Every kiss, every night that she between her arms whispering that she loved her and that there was no one like her

Just thinking that perhaps Irene had had another woman in her mind while telling her all that broke her heart into a thousand pieces

Irene had been everything to her from the person she trusted​ the most to her first love and the perfect unnie that taught her all kinds of things. It wasn't​ possible, it couldn't be possible that Irene had only used it for her own pleasures

Suddenly her legs didn't​ respond anymore, the air became dense and suffocating and Seulgi collapsed in the middle of the training room.

***

"Maybe she just went to the park or something, unnie​. I'm sure it won't​ take her long to come back"

Yeri tried to comfort an anguished Wendy who kept checking her conversations with Seulgi in search of a new message to tell her where she was. It was midnight and they hadn't​ heard from her yet, nor had she communicated with anyone. The manager had already started the search in the places she used to frequent and promised to send them a message as soon as he had news.

That didn't​ mean they had calmed down. They were all sitting in the living room of the dorm, including Irene who stopped recording a commercial to be at her group's side. She had to behave like a leader and guide them towards calmness.

"You shouldn't​ have said anything to her, Sooyoung" Yeri complained to an impatient Joy who tapped her foot in the floor again and again "What the hell did you want to accomplish?"

"Do you think I felt really good looking at Seulgi-unnie crying there while we all enjoyed our free time? What would you do?!"

"Enough is enough" Irene's calm voice broke the tension and both girls were immediately silent "What matters now is that Seulgi returns home safely, then you can blame everyone for what happened. Even me"

Wendy saw the screen of her phone again and felt another pang in her chest when she realized there was nothing new. The silence in the room was unbearable but no one could break it in any way.

Nobody except their manager with Seulgi in his arms.

The man entered the bedroom with Seulgi carrying her bridal style, still dressed in the clothes she normally wore in the company's dance room. Wendy immediately got up from the chair where she was and ran to the manager and her best friend. The rest of the girls remained watching without any word

"Seulgi...?" Wendy hated that her voice sounded so insecure and fragile. Her feelings were ruining all the logical thinking she should have now. "Oppa... Is she okay?"

"I'll talk to you later"

The manager walked to Seulgi and Wendy's room. The minutes that he took inside that place felt eternal and terrifying for each one of the members of the group. Wendy felt herself on the verge of a nervous crisis and decided to go to the room, when she was about to arrive she felt a hand around her wrist. Irene held her tightly

"I'll go. If oppa has something to tell us, I will explain them to you later"

Wendy didn't​ know what happened to her at that moment. She'd never questioned Irene's decisions; not because of fear as everyone believed, but because she always used to give the most logical answers. Maybe it was the accumulated anguish, maybe it was despair, maybe it was her heart that couldn't​ stand seeing Seulgi suffering from an unrequited love

Wendy pushed Irene against the wall and placed her finger against her chest 

"You have no right to ask anything, unnie! If Seulgi is doing this, it's because you did not know how to be honest with her!"

Irene was surprised at Wendy's reaction but her surprise lasted a few seconds before she frowned and put on her serious face again.

"I was honest with Seulgi. I told her we didn't​ have time for a relationship, isn't that true, Seungwan? We have our agenda full, there isn't enough time even to sleep "

Wendy only felt more angry when she heard those words

"And that's why you went to see the purple girl as soon as you had time?"

Irene frowned

"She has nothing to do with this"

"Now are you going to make excuses, unnie?"

"They aren't​ excuses!" Irene raised her voice but tried to maintain control as best she could, even when her cold facade fell slowly "Do you think I wanted to hurt Seulgi? I was never using her and the reason why I ended up breaking with her is true we do not have time. She... the 'purple girl' came back to me since a week ago and I can't​ give her a chance for the same reason, do you think I decided who I should love and who I don't​? Tell me Seungwan, did you choose to love Seulgi?"

There was the most accurate bullet in Bae Joohyun's repertoire. She knew the truth that Wendy had been hiding for years in order to protect her friendship with Seulgi. She didn't care to see Seulgi next to Irene if that meant she was happy. It was a stupid and very repeated idea but to live on the crumbs of her best friend's love was what relieved the pain.

For years she was in love with Seulgi and, also for years, she had decided that perhaps she would go to the grave with that secret because Seulgi had met someone else and Wendy couldn't​ ruin her happiness just because of the whim of having her by her side. She had never told Seulgi what she felt and tried not to show it

The youngest of the group watched the scene with surprise from the living room of the dorm, it was so strange to see their unnies fighting and especially Wendy who admired, appreciated and loved with all her being every fiber of the leader of the group and followed her with more fidelity than a guardian dog. Wendy couldn't​ say anything after those words. The manager left Seulgi room at that exact same moment

"How is Seulgi?" Irene was the first to speak

"She is fine although very tired. I found her fainted​ in the dance hall of the company, a doctor already checked her and everything is fine but she needs to rest... surely she won't wake up until tomorrow, she can barely stand on her feet"

Irene discussed something else with the manager but Wendy could no longer listen to him nor did she care. She entered the room she shared with Seulgi cautiously and closed the door once she was inside. The manager had lit a small lamp right next to her friend's bed and it was the only source of light in the place

Seulgi had open, covered with a blanket and asleep deeply. Wendy almost wanted to cry when she saw how fragile her expression was. It was very painful to see the person she loved the most, dying slowly without her being able to solve things. Seulgi needed time to heal and Wendy would help her through this process

Still with cautious steps, she walked to Seulgi's bed and sat on one end of it. Seulgi complained a little and Wendy lulled her by rubbing her back and her hair over and over again. Eventually Wendy's show of affection led Seulgi to calm down again and go back to sleep

"I'm sorry" Wendy whispered with a lump in "I'm sorry for not being able to help you... I'm sorry for not being the person you want to love"

Wendy looked at Seulgi with a slight smile on her face. She had always liked how innocent she looked, how pure she was, how kindly she was within every fiber of her heart and how she was able to protect everyone around her. Seulgi was everything Wendy needed but it was also everything she couldn't​ ever have

She looked so beautiful being illuminated only by the light of her lamp, Wendy could hardly resist the need to kiss her

She brought a hand to her cheek and caressed it slowly, Seulgi showed no signs of awakening. To hell with that stupid time, to hell with all that that had been hidden for years... If she had to say goodbye to Seulgi at least it would be with a last show of affection.

She leaned slightly toward her, barely inches away from her lips

"I love you Seulgi"

Without thinking, she joined their lips in a kiss and concentrated on the softness of them. She was lost in that slight moment in which Seulgi was hers

What Wendy didn't​ know was that Seulgi was awake

___________________________________________________

A/N: So I forgot to say, things are going really smoothly with this story and I have some free time. If you have any kinds of requests, write them down and I take care of them