Wendy has been holding a torch for too long.

She vividly remembers that day when Seulgi opened the door to their room with a happy little smile on her face: her round ears looking cute, her cheeks red and her eyes sparkling with happiness. Wendy immediately smiled back at her, Seulgi had that small piece of power, she could make her smile without saying a word

“Seungwanie! Guess what?!”

She was so excited, Wendy patted an empty spot in the bed they had pushed together and kept smiling, eager to hear whatever her best friend had in mind

“What is it, Seul? You're so happy!”

“I am!” said Seulgi who bounced on the bed and then wrapped her arms around her best friend, nuzzling her face in the crook of her neck and laughing

“Joohyun-unnie is my girlfriend now! Can you believe it?! The most sought-after girl in the country is MY girlfriend!”

Wendy felt her soul crashing into the ground, all her dreams of one day being Seulgi girlfriend plummeted to the ground like a falling plane. Maybe she lived too slow, maybe she was a coward and Irene was not and now Wendy is left behind

Seulgi immediately sees the change in her best friend face and she giggles before frowning, poking one of Wendy's cheek with her index finger and a cute pout in her (Wendy has to say it) beautiful, godly face

“Wan? What's wrong?”

The main vocalist feels like breaking down, letting out all of her tears and tackle Seulgi into the bed. Scream that life was so unfair because she was waiting for the perfect moment and now Irene has everything she ever wished for. Seulgi was her best friend but she also was her first love…

And now, her first heartbreak

“Nothing, Seul” Wendy replies and playfully slaps Seulgi shoulder with an open hand “Lucky you~ you get to kiss god itself”

Seulgi lets out a loud laugh and she falls back on the bed, kicking her feet in the air. Wendy wipes her tears away when her best friend isn't watching and she smiles when she keeps looking at her perfect face being all bubbly about the (she has to say it, again) wrong girl

Time went by and Wendy learned to look at everything from the sidewalk Seulgi and Irene going out on dates, singing together, laughing, kissing when they weren't too careful around the others, smiling at each other, sharing small pieces of food.

Such a sight to remember

Wendy feels jealous even when she knows she shouldn't. Seulgi isn't an object, she isn't a possession, she's her best friend but that's that. And so, Wendy wonders if she should just take away all of those feelings with someone else. Maybe if she tries with other girl or even a boy

But everytime she tries to walk away from Seulgi, she pulls her in again. Wendy thinks maybe she's just cursed. Followed by bad luck with a dark cloud just like in cartoons

Life goes around and around. It's pretty much like a swing. You're up and they you're down. Bad times are relative and Wendy is an adult so she knows she shouldn't throw a tantrum because things didn't go her way

Until fate gives her a second chance

Seulgi walks into their shared bedroom one day, her face gloomy and her body shaking trying to hold back tears. Wendy is shocked at the sight. Seulgi is emotional but she rarely shows it, it must be something really strong for her to be like this.

The door closes with a bang and the main vocalist has her eyes fixed on her best friend. Seulgi just lays herself against her own side of the bed, she says nothing and throws the covers over her body while she is still shaking, awfully sobbing in silence.

Wendy cannot take it anymore. Seulgi is one of the most special persons in her life, she cannot just look at her suffering without doing anything to help

The vocalist scoots over towards Seulgi and places a hand on her back, running it up and down. Her voice goes low, trying to be soothing so she won’t fall into a nervous breakdown. Seulgi sobs are louder this time and Wendy is sure that the rest of the girls will be knocking on their door in no time

“Seul?” Wendy says, keeping her voice in a whisper “Is everything okay? What happened?”

Seulgi stays quiet and this silence is making Wendy go crazy because, for anything she knows, something serious could’ve happened and Seulgi is just keeping everything to herself. This isn’t healthy for her, much less when she’s crying as hard as she is now

“Seulgi, please…tell me what’s wrong?”

More silence. But this time, among the ugly sobbing and sniffing, Seulgi takes some strength and finally finds her words. She avoids Wendy’s stare though like she is too uncomfortable to do such a thing when she’s at the lowest

“Joohyun-unnie…” Wendy freezes at the name of their leader. She thinks of the worst and her blood runs cold inside her body…something happened to her? Is she in danger? Her hands start trembling at the thousand thoughts in her mind. She’s completely frozen and words won’t come out “Joohyun-unnie broke up with me”

Wendy is relieved just by knowing that their dear leader is okay and healthy but those news come at a great price.

“Oh no…” Wendy whispers and her immediate action is to wrap her arms around the oldest girl who just curls up on her pillow and tries to muffle their sobs. They can hear a few footsteps on the outside that surely belong to one of the maknaes, always too curious to ignore their unnies or their problems “Oh Seul, I’m so sorry”

Seulgi goes back to staying silent but this time is briefer than before

“It feels like I’m being stabbed” The dancer whispers, one hand clutching her chest “It really hurts, Wen”

The vocalist feels like crying at how broken Seulgi sounds. Tears sting the corner of her eyes and she desperately tries to blink them away until they’re no longer annoying. Wendy tightens her hug because there’s no words that can heal Seulgi right now, they’re useless when she feels like this

Wendy can only imagine: Joohyun and Seulgi were together for many years. They met as teenagers and trained together, eventually dating for years and being best friends since forever. A breakup was prone to be messy, to hurt just like Seulgi said

“It’s gonna be okay, Seul” Those are the only words she can find

Inside, Wendy feels angry. She loves Joohyun, she really does. Her unnie is the main core in her life and if Seulgi is her best friend then Joohyun is the closest thing she has to a real sister, always taking care of her and protecting her a little more than the rest but now she feels angry at her…why would she do this to Seulgi? Of all the times she could do that it had to be just a few weeks before their promotions for Red Flavor

Seulgi keeps crying deep into the night, until sleep gets to her and she can’t shed any more tears. Wendy left her side only one time: to get her a tea and some painkillers for a throbbing headache.

During all those hours, Joohyun never came back home

---

In the present time, back to this suddenly dark world where Seulgi is borderline depressed and just now she exhausted herself to the point of passing out in their practice room so she could forget about Joohyun, Wendy feels totally useless and helpless

She just kissed her in her sleep

Because she is a coward and can't do anything else about it. Seulgi is out of reach for her. Even more now that her heart is broken

Sitting on the couch in their living, Wendy ruffles her own hair and groans. Everyone went to sleep already and she can't even close her eyes without looking at the sleeping, fragile form of Seulgi in the arms of their manager. She feels a pang on her chest at the memory and tears well up in her eyes...she wants to cry because this is so, so frustrating. The only thing she can give to Seulgi right now is love and that's not what she needs

"Don't think too hard" a voice comes from the hallway that leads to their shared rooms. Wendy quickly turns her head and finds Joohyun standing there, her arms around herself as she lets out a long yawn "Care to share your thoughts? I have a penny for you"

Wendy is stuck between a rock and a hard place. She's still angry at Joohyun but...these feelings are gnawing at her heart

"I kissed Seulgi"

Joohyun remains quiet, she shuffles her feet and sits besides Wendy at the other end of the couch. It's a foreing feeling since Joohyun is always cuddling with her but maybe she knows they need to respect their distance right now

"And I feel awful for that...she doesn't deserve that, not now"

The rising silence is the only sign that Wendy needs to continue talking

"I'm a horrible person, unnie"

Quickly, like things were just as normal as always, Joohyun replies

"Oh come on, Seungwan...you know you're not that"

Wendy looks at her. It's hard to see what kind of face she's doing when the only source of light is the open window on their living and the filtering rays of the moon coming through it

"Your feelings for Seulgi have always been there but just now you felt the need to voice them because you see Seulgi being fragile. Is your need to protect her and maybe even your need to kick my for the stuff I did"

Joohyun sighs, throwing her head back on the couch

"If I'm being honest, I'm not over Seulgi and I would do anything I could to bring her back to me but...she deserves better"

The vocalist is speechless. All this time she thought Joohyun was totally over Seulgi and that she finally let her go. So Joohyun is genuinely helping her right now...not as a friend but as the older sister she is. She's pushing aside her feelings just to help Wendy grow and that's the most wholesome thing that Wendy has ever heard in her life

"Seulgi obviously needs time but I'm sure you're a great start for that and besides...you can love her in many other ways for now. When the time comes you can tell her everything"

Wendy nods, understanding. She wonders what kind of power their unnie has when she knows exactly what kind of advice to give even when her own heart is breaking. The vocalist wants to get up and hug Joohyun, a tight embrace that tells her everything would be fine. Joohyun is someone who keeps her feelings for herself when she’s hurt (because she’s the leader and leaders are meant to set the example) and in the middle of Seulgi obvious pain, they forgot about their unnie

So Wendy takes a few steps towards her and, without saying anything, wraps her arms around Joohyun. As always, the older woman jumps back and then hugs Wendy back with frail, small, insecure hands

“Thank you so much, unnie” Wendy says. The little fight they had some hours before is totally gone by now “I appreciate this”

Joohyun lets out a soft laugh and pats Wendy’s back

“Don’t worry, Seungwan-ah. I’m fine…really. Don’t worry about me either just be there for Seulgi, please. She needs you more than anybody else”

The vocalist nods, no longer feeling insecure of her feelings and ready to take life by the horns

---

Schedules and promotions are tight, jam packed and everyone is frantically going up and down. Their little free time is used to sleep and call their families so they don’t really have a real talk with each other even when they’re together 24/7

Two weeks after her practice room fiasco, Seulgi stands in front of the room she shares with Wendy

She just got back from her individual schedule, Wendy must be having fun watching movies or any of those other things she loves to do. Seulgi knows she won’t be interrupting anything but still her mind is a complete mess.

Back to that night where she fainted, she remembers Wendy taking care of her. Being as gentle as always, as she always is with everyone else that surrounds her, giving unconditional love even when sometimes she never gets it back. She remembers her words, how she blamed herself for everything that was happening and how she wanted to be Joohyun so she could ease Seulgi’s pain. And then she kissed her. Nothing lustful, nothing hard, just a short and chaste kiss

Seulgi is even more confused now

After all those days spent crying and isolating herself from the rest of the world, her heart is slowly healing. She keeps her distance with Joohyun, nothing obvious to the public eye but there’s a gap between them. Just so she can heal faster and return to the normal days. Joohyun is an important person in her life, someone who will be there for her always so she can just drive her away. She needs to overcome this so Joohyun can come back into her life, maybe not as her lover but as her best friend

Seulgi lifts her hand, ready to knock. She doesn’t know why she’s doing this when obviously she shouldn’t…this is her room after all

With a deep sigh, she takes courage to do it

“Seungwan-ah? Can I come in?”

There’s shuffling from the other side of the door, it immediately opens and the dancer is greeted by a loving smile on her best friend face

“Why are you asking that? You live here, dummy”

Seulgi giggles and nods before taking a step inside and flopping on the joined beds with a smile. This feels foreign, this feeling of not hurting every time she breathes, of being happy. Is wonderful and it makes her laugh. Wendy laughs along her and shakes her head, sitting cross-legged besides her

“Did you win the lottery or something? Why are you so happy?”

The dancer shakes her head

“I think it’s because I’m not hurting anymore”

Wendy gaze immediately softens and she smiles, her hand ruffles Seulgi’s hair lovingly

“And I’m glad about that, Seul. I thought I would have you sulking all the time and then my movies buddy would be gone forever”

Seulgi just shrugs, still with her bear smile on her face, and falls on the mattress

The room goes quiet for a bit and then, Seulgi gathers enough strength to talk about the real stuff she came in here for

“Seungwan-ah”

Wendy looks at her

Seulgi sits on the bed and looks for her friend hands to entwine with hers. Wendy immediately gives them to her, like everything else she does

“Wan…I wanted to talk to you about something that happened weeks ago”

Wendy remains quiet, looking straight into Seulgi’s soft brown orbs

“I know about your feelings for me”

The dramatic pause that follow is totally worth of a movie. Wendy breaks eye contact but never let go of Seulgi’s hands. She caresses the protruding knuckles and focuses on the carefully painted fingernails but never goes back to look at Seulgi’s eyes

“I’m sorry” Wendy finally says, understanding that Seulgi wants an answer “I really am…I never wanted to push you or anything but you looked so hurt and I just didn’t know what to do. It was a foolish move and I know it but I’m deeply sorry for lying to you”

Wendy is ranting by now. Seulgi wants to stop her just so she can get her own point of view across the table but she doesn’t, she lets Wendy talk

“I’ve been feeling like that for long. Too long. Even before you started dating our unnie but…I was a coward and I never said anything so I’m sorry for lying to you about that. I promise that my friendship is sincere…I never lied when I said you’re my soulmate”

Seulgi nods, her grip on Wendy’s hands is stronger

“I’m not mad at you, Wan”

Finally, Wendy looks at her

“Everything that you feel is totally valid, okay?” The dancer says, her smile is softer now “That’s why I wanted to talk to you about all of this”

Seulgi clears

“You see…you’re my friend, my best friend before anything else in this world and I love you so much for that. We’ve been together through thick and thin and you were there for me when I broke up with unnie so I really don’t have anything else to say”

Wendy feels her eyes slowly getting teary

“Right now, in this very moment, I need some time for myself so I’m not ready for any relationship outside of a friendship”

And the vocalist feels her heart breaking one more time. Maybe it was better to keep quiet all this time, just like she did for long. But she had to  everything up that night and now she’s here, stuck with yet another heartbreak to tend once Seulgi goes back to normal. Now she has more ugly feelings to deal with

However, Seulgi doesn’t stop there

“But when the time comes when I get everything sorted out. Maybe we can…try something?”

As Wendy opens her eyes wide, Seulgi pouts when she sees two small tears rolling down her best friend’s cheeks and landing on the mattress below them. The dancer wants to hug her but, instead of that, she lifts her hands and wipes away the tears with her thumbs

“Don’t cry, Seungwan-ah” Seulgi coos, her bear smile back on her face. She knows Wendy loves it “I don’t want you to be sad”

“I’m not sad, dummy” Wendy sniffles, more tears come out but she’s smiling “I’m really, really happy”

Seulgi giggles and hugs Wendy tight against her chest

“I waited for you all my life, Seul” Wendy says, voice muffled by the dancer’s gray hoodie. She closes her eyes and basks in the sweet feeling of relief. Seulgi doesn’t hate her and how could she? The teddy bear is the gentlest person in the world, genuinely kind and soft, always looking to help everyone else, maybe that’s why she’s so easily hurt because her heart is made of gold

“I can wait for you a little more”

---

A/N: Holy , guess who's back! I know I neglected this story for far too long but man...the inspiration was nowhere to be found

This is one chapter that everyone was requesting since I started posting this collection so I hope everyone likes it! I think I might write a third part...depending on how this goes. Anyways, thank you for reading! You guys are awesome :)