Seulgi, then five years old, waited on the concrete steps that led to her 'house', too small to be called a house but warm enough to be called a home. It was a cold contrast with the other houses in the neighborhood, made of bricks eaten away by moisture and the remains of white paint falling apart, the two plants that her mother placed to try and give a little color were withering. Her hands were full of dirt resting on her knees with fresh scratches and bruises, battered denim shorts, a red shirt with the drawing of a yellow chicken also full of dirt, her hair tied in two pigtails and a yellow party hat on top of her head (a gift she got last week inside her favorite cereal box). She held her round face between her hands and looked bored towards the street in front of her house that lost its form after the flower shop at the corner of the block

The engine of a car echoed in the distance and she winced, like a dog listening to its owner opening the front door. With hope and perhaps a little innocence, she focused her eyes to the corner covered in jars of flowers and crossed her fingers, jumping up on the stairs

An old orange Volkswagen turned around the corner and traveled down the street without stopping. Seulgi pouted and sighed, it wasn't the first time crossing her fingers didn't help. The car she expected was much more luxurious and modern, with a completely new engine and comfortable interiors, huge for a girl her age. From the inside of her house, through the kitchen window facing the street, her mother looked at her with a sad smile

"Seulgi!" The woman screamed and Seulgi turned her whole body around to look at her "Come in now, baby! It's dinner time!"

Puffing her cheeks, Seulgi crossed her arms and shook her head several times as she sat on the steps one more and came back to look in front, towards the street. She was hungry and the cookies mom was baking smelled delicious and looked much more yummy than the ones sold at the supermarket and that she could only buy on the days mom told her she received her paycheck, but she didn't want to go home. What if the car she was waiting for was just around the corner and she lost sight of it? She had to greet it so it would know it was her

Seulgi heard the front door of her house and felt soft hands on her shoulders, the smell of baked cookies and dishwasher soap made her sigh and return to the ‘I'm bored’ position. The dusk began to color the sky with orange tones and the headlights little up little by little, children stopped playing and cars moved less down that street

"Seulgi, love" her mother spoke gently as she sat next to her on the steps "What are you doing out here? Don't you want cookies?"

Seulgi shook her head again although this time she wasn't pouting

"I'm waiting for dad. Do you know if he'll come today?"

The sad look on her mother face was something Seulgi didn't understand at that moment and, in her tender childhood innocence, thought it was because she didn't want to eat the delicious cookies. In that moment of life, your naivety makes you live in happiness and that's exactly why Seulgi didn't care about seeing her mother like that. She knew if she went home and ate the cookies everything would be all right

"Dad isn't coming, darling"

Seulgi continued looking at the street, the determination painted on her childlike features

"I'll wait a little longer, I'm sure he's coming soon"

Her mother sighed and apparently wanted to say something else. Seulgi closed her eyes when she felt lips full of lipstick rub against her forehead and then her mother went inside her home. Returning to her former position: knees pressed to her chest, arms resting on her knees and hands cradling her face, she looked again at the curve of the street.

The night fell on Seulgi, the cars were no longer traveling but she still remained there. Turning her entire body around to take a look inside her home, she realized her mother was still in the kitchen with the cookies waiting patiently. Tired and mentally exhausted, she got up from the steps and dusted off her dirty clothes to enter her house when suddenly she heard the door of the neighbors open, the house that was just to the left of hers

The yellow light inside shone on the steps of that building. An adult man, perhaps older than her father but much younger than her grandfather, had two girls taken by the hand: one of them was much older than Seulgi and looked angry at someone, the other sobbed and stammered some words that Seulgi couldn't understand. Her blue floral dress and her hair tied in two pigtails caught her attention. She clung to the man's hand more powerfully than the other girl (which Seulgi supposed, was her sister)

Seulgi tilted her head curiously. That girl was crying a lot. Seulgi no longer cried because she was a big girl, Mom had told her she shouldn't cry and dad even scolded her when he saw her crying for spilling juice on the table. That girl didn't look any older than her…

"Tomorrow you both can see mom" said the man who was holding the girl hand, his voice was strong and deep. As if he wanted to be tender but sounded much more like a monster trying to lure children to darkness "Is just one day, no need to cry"

Ahhh~ so that's why the girls were leaving

The man and the girls climbed into a car and drove off down the street that Seulgi looked at so much. She entered her house and let out a long yawn, her mother was asleep on the sofa in the living room and Seulgi knew she should be exhausted from all the work she did at her job and at home. Making a much larger effort than usual for a child her age, Seulgi took more cookies from the table by climbing on a chair and poured a glass of milk to dine without any help from her mother

She thought that maybe the next day, if the girl cried again, she could invite her a glass of milk and cookies

It's been exactly one week since then

Seulgi sat down again on the stairs in front of her house. This time she played with some Lego blocks that her mother got her at a garage sale, she tried to shape it into something she would like, like a gun, a tree or a rocket, but they were too few to even form a line. Her mother told her that soon she would buy her a full box but Seulgi refused, her father could get her a new one as soon as she saw him

Once again, Seulgi looked down the street that emerged from behind the flower shop on the corner. There weren't any news, there was no car that told Seulgi her father was coming home. Her mother had gone shopping and she let her stay outside as long as she promised not to fight with the cat of the kind old woman who lived two houses away from them (Seulgi couldn't promise anything... the damn cat wanted to bite her hand off every time she tried to pet him!). Seulgi took her usual spot and waited

Suddenly, the door of the house on the left opened

The girl in the blue dress and pigtails was now dressed in baggy jeans and a shirt full of orange drawings while her hair was loose. Seulgi looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she walked towards her, her hands behind her back and a wide smile on her features. It was so strange seeing her this happy after how sad she seemed a week ago

"Hi!" She was really loud "What are you doing?"

Seulgi didn't know whether to answer so she only tilted her head and raised a hand in the air, her eyes lost in small crescents and a giggle. The girl was funny when she was noisy

"Hello. I'm waiting for my dad"

"Seriously? You're always sitting there, right? I can see you from the window of my house when I sit down to watch television"

"That's called... uhm... spying! Yeah, that"

"Of course not! I'm not a secret agent!"

Seulgi placed a hand on her chin and looked at the girl from head to toe. If she was a secret agent and was spying on her then she would bring a secret agent suit, with a tie and jacket and dark shoes and sunglasses. But the girl didn't have any of that

"That's true" Seulgi nodded "Do you want to sit with me and wait for him?"

"Yes!" The girl jumped excited and climbed the steps at full speed to sit right next to Seulgi. The lego blocks she was playing with already forgotten and now Seulgi was watching only the girl next to her, it didn't matter how much she lost sight of the street or her father's fancy car.

"What is your name? I'm Seulgi, it's a pleasure" Seulgi reached her hand towards the girl and she took it with a giggle

"I'm Seungwan!" "Seungwan" shook her hand again, up and down hard as if trying to pull it out of her collarbone. Seulgi also laughed at the action of her partner. "I finally know your name! I call you bear all the time"

"Bear?!" Seulgi shouted and made a pout "I'm not a bear!"

"Of course!" Seungwan covered to giggle and leaned towards Seulgi, taking the round face between her small hands and pulling the ears of a confused Seulgi who started to change her pout into a frown. "You have cute ears!"

"If I'm a bear then you're a hamster!" Seulgi stuck out her tongue at Seungwan even though she was just laughing out loud, probably having fun with Seulgi's appearance

"Well, hamsters are cute"

"Bears are huggable"

"You know a bear can eat you right?"

"I'm a bear that doesn't eat people!"

The cars went by one after another down the street that Seulgi watched like a sentry and she didn't even pay attention to them. The afternoon was going down little by little while the lights in every house were on and Seulgi showed Seungwan the many things she managed to discover while her Lego blocks were forgotten. In the distance, Seulgi's mother approached the steps of her house with a surprised smile on her lips... she never saw her daughter making friends with other children, at least not when she was on her 'job' to watch the street in front of her house. She was laughing out loud with a girl who made funny faces and dances

"Hi, Seulgi," the woman greeted the little girl who was still laughing. "You didn't have any problems with Mrs. Hwang's cat, did you?"

"Nope, he isn't around today" Seulgi nodded, full of herself and then took the girl's hand "Mommy, can Seungwan stay for dinner? Please, please, please?"

"Of course, I'm going to make pasta and-"

A red car made a thunderous noise as it parked right in front of the house on the left. Seulgi stared at it, when did it drive down her street? She never missed a single car or a single color but those other times Seungwan wasn't with her so she couldn't complain. From the car emerged the older man from the other time and waved his hand in the air to greet Seungwan. The girl jumped a couple of times and greeted the man

"Is my dad! I have to go! Goodbye, Seulgi!"

"Goodbye, Seungwan!"

Seungwan ran and hugged the man who lifted her into his arms and kissed her on the cheek. They both walked to the interior of the house on the left and Seulgi watched them until they were lost in the yellow light inside. Seulgi's mother took her hand and led her into the house

"Let's go love, let's have some dinner"

Seulgi kept looking towards that house. Her mother seemed sad. The poor lady thought her daughter wished she had a father as much as that girl from the next house...

Seulgi actually wished she could see Seungwan a little more

A couple of weeks went by.

Seulgi found a pattern no one else had seen before. She was smart even though her classmates said otherwise, she could be slow but she wasn't stupid. Sitting on the stairs in front of her house was a privilege the other children never took advantage of, they rather waste their time running and stepping on flowers. Seulgi knew that sitting on the steps every afternoon gave her a huge advantage over all the other children in the neighborhood.

For example, she was the first to know when the ice cream truck was near and she never had to run free it to catch the truck (she always made sure to have some change in her pockets, the ice cream man hated when they paid with large bills). Seulgi could caress the beautiful Corgi dog of the girl who takes him out for a walk every afternoon, the fluffball was so soft and well behaved that Seulgi felt happy every time he her face. She also learned at what hours the flower shop closed or the types of cars that ran through the streets, she learned to admire the sky in each of its colors

So now, when she discovered that pattern, she felt proud

Seulgi discovered that Seungwan only spent a few weeks in the house next door. There were weeks where she stayed in the house next door with another girl (that Seulgi was still assuming would be her sister), the next week she got into her dad's car and went away on the street that turned around the corner. Seulgi memorized the pattern well: one week Seungwan stayed at home, the next she went away with her father... she repeated it like a mantra

Unfortunately, this was the week in which Seungwan was away from home

But it was the last day of the week so at any time she should arrive, right? Seulgi could play with Seungwan again and perhaps teach her everything she learned while sitting on the steps, maybe this time she could invite her to dinner

One car after another took a turn on the street that Seulgi guarded as a sentinel

What color was Seungwan's car? Blue? No... that was her dress. Green? Ugh, a car would never be green unless it was competing in a race. Red? Yes, it had to be red. She didn't remember the model after all, she never cared much about the other vehicles other than her father's. Seulgi assumed her guard and continued watching, feeling happy every time she saw a red car

The night fell, the headlights of the street automatically ignited with the darkness. Seulgi could no longer distinguish the colors of the cars and soon she heard the distinctive click of the front door of her house when it opens.

"It's late now, baby" her mother's soft voice formed a lump in and the need to cry "Tomorrow will be another day"

Seulgi nodded with a pout, dusting off her dust-covered clothes taking her mother's hand and walking home with a sad face and no desire to taste dinner even though it smelled delicious.

The next time Seulgi saw Seungwan, she was crying

As always, she was at her usual guard post on the stairs with the pose of always looking at the street lost in the flower shop at the corner. It's been so long since she sat down waiting for her father but her mother didn't know it (Seulgi thought it was better to remain silent, maybe if she told her she was waiting for Seungwan then she wouldn't let her sit by the steps). Seulgi had more than two hours waiting and this time she brought cookies and a glass of milk that her mother always left her every afternoon.

Suddenly, from the street she watched, appeared the red car she was waiting for so long. Seulgi jumped and waved her hands in the air as she greeted the car that, as expected, gave her no response. The car parked in front of Seungwan's house and Seulgi looked at it expectantly almost as someone watches the most exciting part of a movie.

This time only the man and Seungwan got down from the car, they weren't holding hands and the other girl wasn't with them . Seungwan was crying, tears were streaming down her cheeks and her father wasn't trying to comfort her. Seulgi bit one of her cookies and chewed it slowly as she watched her friend cry, swallowing a bite and finding the strength to scream

"Seungwan!"

Both her father and the girl turned to look at the steps of the neighboring house. Seungwan sated from her father's hand and ran to Seulgi before hugging her tightly with both arms, almost making her go backwards on the stairs and throw away the cookies and milk.

"Hey, hey," Seulgi continued, "Don't cry, okay?"

With her few years, Seulgi didn't know how to listen or give advice, much less what should be done. She only knew what made her happy and what removed the tears from her face when she understood the difficulties of life. So she broke the last of her cookies in half and brought the glass of milk to Seungwan. The girl, wiping away the tears and the mucus with the back of her hand, took the cookie and dipped it in the milk before taking a bite. Seulgi did the same

"Do you feel better now?" Seulgi spoke in a kind of newly invented language. was full of cookies and some milk. "I knew mom's cookies would help you!"

Seungwan thought it was the funniest thing in the world at the way Seulgi talked with all that nasty mess inside . So while she chewed her cookie slowly, Seungwan started laughing at the curious antics of her now friend

Seulgi looked at the house she once lived in as a child

It was completely restored and totally different from what she remembered, from the damp bricks and decaying paint there was nothing left, everything had been replaced by new paint and resistant concrete. There was no need to worry about the days of heavy rain or uncontrolled storms during the summer months

What made Seulgi more nostalgic was how changed the steps were

In those days of purity and innocence, those steps looked huge, bigger than a mountain even. Now she could climb them with just two big steps if she wanted to. Seulgi sighed, nineteen years had passed and everything was so different. So this was nostalgia? Maybe it was more melancholy.

Seulgi took a few steps and sat on the stairs for the umpteenth time in her life. The whole neighborhood had changed completely: there was no longer an ice cream man, nor the corgi dog much less Mrs. Hwang's grumpy cat. She stopped sitting down to wait for her father, nor did she feel her mother's soap covered hands on her shoulders. Seulgi placed her hands on her knees and cradled her face on her hands while looking at the street that got lost behind a pizza business (no more flower shop)

Suddenly she felt a kiss on her cheek and immediately turned her head.

Seungwan, the person who had changed most in those nineteen years, was by her side with a gentle smile and a slight blush on her cheeks a sign that winter was near.

"Does the purchase of the house make you nervous?"

Seulgi smiled before resting her head on one of Seungwan's shoulders

"Not at all, it's what we planned since a year ago and it is wonderful it's just that... I'm a little melancholic"

Seungwan left a kiss on Seulgi's forehead and giggled.

"It's really been a long time since then, right? It feels it was just yesterday when you say at this exact same spot every day waiting for your dad while I watched you from the window"

Seulgi let out a slight chuckle

“When you came I barely cared about my dad, he just left and now I don't care”

Seulgi leaned forward to kiss her girlfriend in her forehead, Seungwan smiled widely

“Maybe we should talk about this with a glass of milk and some cookies”

“Do you mind if I speak with a full mouth?”