Jungkook was currently busy going through his old toys. He was busy scanning through every single toy for a specific one that he really loved ; actually loves.  His bed was a mess because of colourful toys scattered around. When the big toy box was almost empty, he finally saw the small body of his doll. She had golden hair, beautiful blue eyes and of course.. a fabulous outfit. After all the doll was a fashionista.

It was a Barbie doll.

Jungkook was happy. His frustrated facial expressions melted into a sweet and happy-little-kid one. Its not like he is mentally a child. No. Its nothing like that. He just likes Barbies. He likes to wear pink. He likes many things that so-called 'manly guys' don't. He isn't any average guy. But it also doesn't mean that he is girly or he crossdresses. Or he has a high-pitched voice. Well.. unless he is highly embarrassed. "Found you!" he exclaimed with pure bliss. He grabbed it and kissed the doll many times. "Now where is Ken?" As soon as he found Ken doll, he placed the two dolls on his table and for a couple of moments he just stared at them.

"My first dolls. My memories of being a kid"  was the thing he thought.

It had been many years since he last saw his toys. His Barbie. Its not like he always likes playing with toys but he just missed them. He moved his fingers around Barbie's hair slowly. He touched Ken. "You two look so cute together" He was fanboying at that moment. "I missed you two so much; especially you Barbie! You are so pretty!" he said in his child-like voice. He is like this. He loves it when he looks at kids; he plays with them. Loves stealing cookies secretly and also loves to watch animation and any Barbie movie. Most guys would choose  action movies, superhero stuffs but if he finds a soothing and funny movie like Home Alone if he could watch Tom and Jerry, he wouldn't mind. He doesn't mind cooking, doesn't care if sometimes he wears bright colours or if he has a bad habit of going out with his pink cycle that has a basket at the front like girls usually have. But he hates being like this too. His moment of enjoyment got interrupted when he heard a loud knock on the door of his bedroom. "Y-yes?" he stuttered out. "Kook? Open the door brother. I wanna see you.. its been a long time" a high-pitched voice called.

Jungkook was frozen on spot. He literally forgot about his older sister who was supposed to visit them today. He hurriedly got up from the table and put his dolls and toys in a rush back into the box before hiding the  box under his bed. Before he could get up after putting his belongings in their place his head bumped onto the edge of the bed. He cursed out and felt like crying out loud but no it was not that bad so he bit his lip and kept quite. He then opened the door with a  shocked and half confused and half happy look on his face. His sister who waited patiently for 2 minutes in front of his door hugged him and squeled.

"Hi! Jungkook, nice to see you again brother" Jungkook smiled and hugged her back. "Its nice to see you too". She walked in the room and sat on the messy bed. She chuckled seeing the bed. "Is this why you took long? Still didn't properly fix your bed? I tell you you're still a kid " she says while smiling. Jungkook grins. "Yeah. Younger than you anyway" his sister smacks his arm lightly. "Anyway Kook, I am actually thirsty. Can you get me some water please?" Jungkook nodded and left, not seeing the doll fallen on the floor near his bed.

---

Taehyung was sitting with Jihan and Lin. Both the guys being Taehyung's friends for about two years. They both were chilling at a cafe. He saw a guy with a dog. The owner was not too well built but he was smiling a lot. His bangs were flying with the wind as he was jumping and trying to catch his dog's attention. Acting like a kid. It looked beautiful to Taehyung. He smiled. "Isn't he cute?" Taehyung blurted out..completely forgetting he is surrounded by two other people.

"He? A guy? Where?" Jihan asked looking at the other. Taehyung pointed outside through the glass window thing. Jihan saw the guy. The guy was pretty much good looking. But he was thinking something else when his face got serious all on a sudden. Lin then saw the guy and he also thought the same.

"Oh my god Taehyung. Are you gay?" Taehyung blinked at Lin and then his face became red. "No!" "Then why did you call him cute? You like him or something? Aren't you straight?" Jihan asked him furrowing his eyebrows. Taehyung's mind was conflicted again.

Why were you so loud!

What will they think?

You don't have to say the things you always mean.

Taehyung did not like that guy in that way, nor did he find him cute in that way. But calling a guys doesn't mean that he is gay. A stranger can also look cute and innocent. Gender or doesn't include in this.

"Guys no! I just called him cute! Jeez! Guys can be cute too! Its not illegal" he tried defending himself. "But guys don't find guys cute unless they are attracted to them. Its a girl thing" Lin said.

"Oh. I was just kidding haha!" he let out a nervous laugh. "I am not gay you know"

Liar.

He lied again.

He didn't lie saying he wasn't into guys but he lied not saying normal people can be called cute even if its a guy calling another guy cute. He also hid his real thoughts by not saying that every gay guy won't find other guys 'cute' just because they are gay.

He wanted to scream saying, "Stop stereotyping gays"  but he couldn't and didn't.

"Oh right. But don't  you think gay guys are weird? They wear makeup and nailpolishes all the time" Jihan said as Lin nodded.

Stop ing stereotyping them! They are not like that. Everyone isn't the same.

"Yeah"

___

"Jungkook what is this?" his sister asks holding a toy car in her left hand. Jungkook was shocked and he got caught. He placed the glass of water on the table and looked down-embarrassed. "I told you not to act like a kid or a girl. I thought you changed. And box of dolls under the bed? Are you kidding me? Barbie? Are you a girl? Behave like a 21 year old guy Jungkook!" Jeongkook flinced at the harshness of her sister's voice. She looked disgusted at her own brother.

This is not the first time though. Everything was going on well when he was 8. He was never called girly, weird or childish. He played with his toys but things started to get different when he started to like playing with girl toys. Even having tea parties with his stuffed toys. When he was 13, his sister once told him that he should act like a guy. Her 19 year old sister called her boyfriend and her boyfriend saw him wearing a pink barbie t-shirt while playing with one. His boyfriend made fun of him saying, "he is accidentally born in a boy's body" Jungkook didn't realize the mock tone until his sister said she was embarrassed because of him. Since then he realized that even toys are supposed to be different for girls and boys. It broke his heart. Since then sometimes his sister would taunt him about these stuffs.

Parents didn't care much.They shrugged it off like it was nothing. Sure, they cared and loved Jungkook but they had no idea what the younger was going through his teen days. He was being bullied and his sister trying her best to change him. So since 17, he acts like an average guy. Even though he is not. Even slowly his siter started to see in in the normal light again. But it got ruined many times too, just like now. Tears escaped his eyes. "This is how I am. I'm sorry to be this way"

___

Taehyung closed his eyes and tried drifting off to sleep but the annoying voices in his head won't let him be at peace.

You lie a lot

You don't have the guts to say what is in your mind.

You are scared to be judged

You are weak and dumb.

You shouldn't talk what you think, you won't fit in.

Taehyung looked at the window. He got up from his bed and got closer to the open window. The sky was dark again like his mind. He motionlessly stared at the sky. Then he let out a scream of frustration. "Ahhh!" Tears started to blurry his vision.

Taehyung was in high school at that time. Probably around 17. He used to be a kid who spoke of who he was but slowly it all started to fade away when he saw himself being different that others. Most people of his age used to lie..hide..kep secrets which used to confuse him. He wasn't like them. He wasn't a hypocrite.

One time he said that he wouldn't mind if he was gay or a transgender. He won't mind if he had to die for his family and love. He accepted that he hated to sugar-coat talks. He even supported an orphan girl who was his closest friend at that time. But he got bullied for it. People took him for granted. He saw how fake everyone was. He thought how naive and stupid he was to be honest. Even his best friend; that girl commited suicide. Since then he became fake. Dishonest. He didn't say how he really felt usually and these caged thoughts started to eat him alive. He became something he hates the most.

"I know I am fake but if thats how less people will judge me then so be it" his eyes darkened. Only if he knew to be himself again, he would be happier.