In the Beast's Belly

A walk along the beach is just what Hyun needs. She just needs herself and the sky. There’s a long deck that connects glass doors, leading from a tiled space with nothing in it but two elevators, and a fire escape, to the sand. The sun is going down at a rapid pace. Only twenty minutes after Hyun steps out of the doors, the horizon is an electric plum shade, melting quickly into navy blue, and finally, indigo, dotted with twinkling stars. The lights on the side of the building come on, splashing pale, orange light about three-quarters of the way out on the sand from the deck, leaving the sea a picture of dark, moving shadows. 

Hyun finally gets up from a chair on the deck and waddles out to the short stairs that eventually disappear into sand. It looks soft. It's kinda chilly out here so close to the water, though, so Hyun keeps her socks and shoes on. She ventures farther out to where the light vanishes, using the swoosh of the waves as a way to map out where the water begins.

The breeze nips at her face but Hyun doesn’t turn away. She stops to take a deep breath of the air that burns her nostrils and stings before moving on. It’s large and empty, exactly what Hyun needs to think. 

She doesn’t panic when a shadow drifts off to sea. She’s no longer afraid of it.

Hyun is afraid of the body that lowers itself next to hers. Although, she relaxes when Hani’s face is just barely recognizable underneath the sheet of darkness. Her voice is clear and calming.

“You seem like the type to be out here,” she says.

Hyun burrows deeper into herself, and says, “So do you.”

“Thinking?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Hyun answers. 

“Can I think, too?” Hani asks again. Hyun finds the dark sparkle of her eyes in a quick once-over of her huddled body, knees cushioned against her chest. Hani grins easily, dimples invisible under the shade of night. Hyun grins back.

And that’s how they end up sitting by the shore for over an hour, in silence. 

Hyun doesn’t say anything and Hani doesn’t say anything and they both just sit there. She has to admit that sharing her thinking time with someone else feels nice. She has the reassurance that if she wants to talk she can, but she doesn’t want to and that’s just fine by Hani. The sea gurgles and churns waves. They froth sometimes lap over the tip of Hyun’s shoes. She doesn’t mind, is too distracted to mind. Her thoughts are wrapped around a shape in the water that seems eerily familiar. It makes the most sense that it would be a buoy of some sort. Hyun knows this, but she can’t help but wonder if it’s not, and what that makes it if it’s not. Why does she even care? She shouldn’t.

When Hani finally speaks, after another twenty minutes of sitting and thinking and waiting for something, it’s to ask Hyun a question she wasn’t expecting. Maybe she should have been, because she's glaring at the lump like it personally offended her, challenged her family's honor or something; but she doesn't have the energy to do anything else but stare, let alone expect things. 

“What are you looking at?” She’s whispering for some reason.

“Nothing.” Hyun shakes her head. “Should we go back inside? It’s late.”

“You really don’t want to talk?” Hani asks.

Hyun shakes her head, squints hard at the shape that once was there but isn’t anymore, shakes her head again. “No. We should go inside.”

“Okay.” Hani stands and stretches her legs, brushing off sand. “Let’s go.”

“Let’s go.”

The elevator ride up to their room is quiet. Hani stands a little closer than she needs to, and Hyun doesn’t step away. When they step off the elevator her eyes burn from the excessively bright, artificial light. They adjust quickly enough. They walk down the hallway, steps thudding hollowly on the carpet. When they come up to their door Hyun turns around.

“Thanks, Hani.” Hyun pauses.

“No problem. All I did was sit and think next to you. No grand thanks needed.” Hani smiles.

They go inside. 

Mina is lying on their bed scrolling through her phone with a bored finger. Her eyes brighten when she sees them. 

“Why’d you guys disappear? I was going to start a one-man search team to look for you.”

“We were at the beach,” Hyun says and walks over to the bed. Hani closes the door. 

“That’s an odd thing to do in the pitch blackness,” Mina says, watching Hani briefly as she goes into the bathroom and the door closes, before staring directly at Hyun and nodding. “Which makes sense because it’s you.”

“Which makes sense because it’s you,” Hyun mocks her with an ugly face. “Shut up. What do you know?”

“Nothing, apparently. Because my best friend was getting freaky with her tutor right under my bed and I was none the wiser.”

“Shut up.” Hyun pushes her leg when Mina snorts in amusement. “We weren’t getting freaky. I kissed him. That’s it.”

“You say it like that’s not a big deal.” Mina rolls her eyes. 

“It isn’t,” Hyun says defensively. 

“For you it is.”

“What? Am I an alien or something? I’m not allowed to kiss a cute boy?”

“Oh!” Mina pulls a face and pinches a hunk of Hyun’s cheek, cooing. “My son has grown up. Already talking about kissing."

Hyun makes her own face and jerks her head away, standing. “Okay, one, I’m 17. Two, I’m not going to sit here and take this abuse.” She walks over to the door.

“Where are you going?” Mina asks from the bed. “To see your lover perhaps?”

“Get your genders straight,” Hyun says in mock annoyance before closing the door behind her and walking a few doors down to Chanyeol and Mark’s room. She hesitates and considers going back. He might be doing something else. Mark ends up making the decision for her. He decides to open the door at that exact moment and smiles at her.

“Hey, Yeol,” he says back into the room. “You have a visitor.”

“Who?” a voice calls. 

“Hyun,” Mark says.

There is a thump and a grunt. “I’m !”

Hyun and Mark both laugh. 

“I’m sorry for leaving you with that. But, I have a hot date with this idiot at the arcade.” Mark pats her head before he's on his way down the hall.

“Okay. I’m decent.”

Hyun walks in to see Chanyeol sitting on the single bed, smiling in this boyishly excited way that makes Hyun want to die.

“Hey.” Chanyeol sets his phone down next to him and opens his arms. Hyun kicks her shoes off and leaves them by the door, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge, awkwardly.

“This kid…”

Hyun squeaks when Chanyeol wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her further onto the bed. They collapse in the sheets. Chanyeol swings his good leg over Hyun’s hip and anchors himself in that position. Hyun feels swaddled. She can’t say that she hates it. Her neck warms and her stomach flutters.

“What did you do all this time?” Chanyeol asks.

“Nothing much.” Hyun shrugs. “I hung around with Hani. She’s cool.”

“Yeah, she is. I’ve known Hani for...three years now? She’s chill and a great listener.” 

“Mhm.” Hyun hums in agreement. A thought occurs to her as they’re lying there. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” There he goes again. Reading her mind.

“Save your penny.” Hyun shake her head. She resists the urge to whine when Chanyeol dislodges his leg and lets Hyun roll on her back. What is she, a doll? Chanyeol rests one hand on her stomach, provoking all types of squishy emotion to erupt within Hyun’s body, and props his cheek on the knuckles of the other. He blinks at her in curiosity, not prying but not allowing for Hyun to escape either. 

“What are you thinking?” Chanyeol pats her stomach, unrelenting. He doesn’t look like he’ll give up. 

“Does it hurt?” Hyun asks finally. 

“What?” Chanyeol looks more intently at her, confusion now written across his expression. “Does what hurt?”

Hyun hesitates. She doesn't know if she’s going too far. What if it’s too personal? Does she even have the right to ask something like…?

“Does what hurt?” He repeats gently. 

“Your...?” Hyun motions downward, towards his foot, or prosthetic. Chanyeol’s eyes follow. It’s the first time Hyun has seen him look so burdened, conflicted. 

“I’m sorry if that wasn’t okay or-”

“No, no, it’s just that, no one has ever asked me about it besides my family.”

“Was that rude?” Hyun gasps quietly. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Lahyun.” Chanyeol chuckles. “I’ve never really told anyone so there was no one to ask. You’re fine.”

“You really don’t have to answer.”

“Stop that.” Chanyeol breathes out a tight, only slightly amused laugh. Hyun nods. “Don’t worry like that. You can ask me anything you want. If it really is over the line then I’ll let you know, promise. But don’t feel so scared to ask me something you’re curious about. Just ask, and I’ll take care of the rest, okay?”

Hyun nods again, sighing a little. 

“My dad was a huge hunting nut. He took me out a lot, too. I told you, remember?”

Hyun nods for the third time. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Right.” Chanyeol chuckles, humorless, eyes no longer staring into Hyun’s but roaming, neither here nor there. “I was supposed to carry on the Park legacy. I wasn’t anyone special, not like my dad was when he was my age or my grandfather before him. But I could hold and use the equipment without blowing out an eye. I’d be a spitting image of my dad if he had half of his skill tied behind his back. That was me.”

“Was your dad upset?” Hyun asks.

“Not really.” Chanyeol shakes his head. “He was just so happy that I didn't reject it like my older sister. He kinda hoped she would want to. He had nothing against girls hunting like some of the other dads. But, she always loved science and when she got into the marine biology program at UCLA it was pretty much done with. He was stuck with me.”

Hyun notices the strain in Chanyeol’s voice. She gathers whatever thin courage she has and takes the hand Chanyeol has on her stomach. She holds it, the knuckles with her thumb. Chanyeol pauses at this. His eyes find Hyun’s again and he smiles a little, gaze still cloudy and sad, for some reason.

“To spare you the gory details, it was a hunting trip gone wrong.” The brave face he usually puts on is phasing in and out.

“Chanyeol.”

“My foot hurt so bad, Lahyun” Chanyeol’s eyes water, lips tremble. Hyun is so confused and unsure of herself when she puts Chanyeol’s hand against her chest, right over her heart. It just feels really important, and with the way he stares at it for a few seconds, eyes dragging up to Hyun’s face afterward, she thinks it was a good idea. 

“I found out at the hospital that during that time my foot had caught an infection and we could either go through a long, expensive surgery with a low success rate or just get it amputated.” His breath hitches sadly. Hyun thinks a piece of him breaks. Chanyeol’s scratchy and thick voice pokes a hole in her soul and creates a vacuum where all of the oxygen in her body is being into. “My dad insisted that it was alright and me being okay was the most important thing. But you should’ve seen his eyes. He lost his dream that day. Our relationship isn’t the same now. He acts--acts like he lost his son when I’m right here. I’m always right here.”

“Chanyeol.”

“I'm right here, Lahyun. Why can’t he see that? I’m right-”

“Chanyeol,” Hyun says again, this time louder and more assertive as if she doesn’t feel just as weak as Chanyeol looks. He stops talking abruptly, looking into Hyun’s eyes more urgently than he ever has. He’s looking for something, searching desperately for it. She wishes she knew what he was looking for so she could give it to him and make everything better. Hyun doesn’t have a clue what to do with herself and she certainly is at a loss for words, actions, and thoughts right now. So she does the only thing she can think of.

She scoots closer, tipping his chin up all the while, and kisses him with every sliver of understanding she can muster. She pours all of the things she can and can’t grasp the meaning of into the of her head and the press of her lips. Their mouths happen to slot perfectly against each other. Whether that’s a coincidence or not Hyun doesn’t have the time or capability to fret about. The only thing that matters is that Chanyeol is hurting and Hyun is trying to comfort him the only way she knows how. She’s never been good with words anyway. 

“Baby,” Chanyeol whispers against and runs his hands blindly across Hyun’s shoulders, sliding one onto the back of her neck. The bottled energy in Chanyeol’s body leaks into Hyun ruthlessly. She experiences the sweet and savory shock of pleasure all the way down to her ankles. Her core is vibrating. Chanyeol is warm and smells like home. He always has. 

They part with a strange, soft squish. Hyun is too emotionally charged to breathe correctly. Her breaths come out in jagged puffs. She’s melted, utterly.

“I’m sorry for all of this,” Chanyeol groans, winded. “I should have...should have-”

“Whenever you want to talk,” Hyun leans up to kiss him, briefly, and settles back again, “ just talk.”

“I will,” Chanyeol promises.

The two of them stay like that. It’s warm. It’s nice. Hyun’s body responds appropriately. She falls asleep easily. 

ᴅ ᴇ ғ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ  ʀ ᴇ ᴊ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ s

Hyun wakes up on her side. Her eyes slide open, blinking curiously in the dark. Her bones are satiated with heat. She’s the most comfortable she has ever been. Nothing seems out of place. Even Mark’s snoring, quiet yet full of bass, has a place in the early morning. 

Chanyeol’s chest rises and falls underneath Hyun’s cheek. She couldn’t be more comforted.

“I never answered your question.”

Hyun melts when Chanyeol speaks. His voice is rich and cavernous. 

“What question?” 

“It doesn’t hurt, anymore. It used to throb. But since they sewed up the wound it grew some extra layers of skin. It’s really tough now. Doesn’t hurt.”

“Is it hard?” Hyun asks. “Do you need help?”

“It’s mostly frustrating,” Chanyeol says. “I got used to it, though.”

“Oh.” That’s it. 

“Yeah.”

As the two are lying there, snuggled and content, the sun rises slowly outside of the balcony doors, blinds undrawn, and musky indigo explodes in bright peach and gold. Mark stops snoring. His hair is insufferably mussed when he turns over in his bed, before sitting up a little and looking around through heavily lidded eyes. 

“Is it morning already?”

“Sure is, buddy,” Chanyeol says.

“I was going to give you two some space and sleep with Kuhn. But Jackson snores like a bear. Couldn’t do it.” Mark sits up the rest of the way languidly, stretching. 

“You’re not too much better,” Chanyeol says.

“Nonsense. I sleep light as a prince.”

“Sure you do, man.”

Hyun pulls her phone from under the pillow she’s lying on and blinks at the brightness. 

7.38 am

“I’m gonna go back,” she mumbles, still mostly sedated with sleep.

“Alright. We’re having breakfast in a little bit. Can you bring the girls?” Chanyeol kisses her forehead sweetly. 

“Sure.” Hyun smiles. She gets up reluctantly. She waves at Mark who waves half-heartedly back, still looking lost and sleepy. Hyun grabs her shoes on the way out and walks barefoot down the hall to her room. She pats her jeans expectantly and isn’t surprised to find that she doesn’t have her room key. Mina distracted her last night so she didn't grab it.

She knocks on the door and waits. 

Something creaks faintly underneath the weight of someone and the sound of feet shuffling across the carpet alerts Hyun further. She tightens her grip on her shoes. Hani opens the door.

“Morning, Hani.” 

“Good morning.” She blinks sleepily and steps out of the way. Hyun walks in and heads for her suitcase. She pulls out another pair of shorts, a crop top, and some clean underwear. She heads into the bathroom while Hani goes back to bed. 

She turns on the light, wincing at the brightness. Complimentary stuff is already laid out. Hyun swipes a towel and a bar of soap that smells like roses on steroids. She hops into the steaming shower and scrubs. The sleep rolls off her in waves, dissipating the longer she scrubs. She wraps herself in a fluffy towel and gets out, messing with her hair as she waits for her body to dry. She blowdries it and french braids it.

There’s nothing to do and nobody to do it with since everyone seems to be asleep, but at least she brought her baby easel. Maybe painting will relieve some stress, or maybe it’ll add to it if it’s just going to be one of those days. Hyun goes back out into the room in some clean socks, tiptoeing over to her suitcase near the window. She pulls the blinds over just the tiniest bit to shed some light into the room so she can rummage through her things with some efficiency. She unearths her portable easel quickly, putting it into her backpack with some paints, a few brushes, and a water bottle.

Hyun goes over to where Mina is facedown and possibly drooling on the bed. Her hair is a mix between a halo and a bird’s nest around her deeply slumbering form. Hyun almost feels horrible waking her up. 

Almost.

She bends down and lifts a portion of hair from her face, blowing into her ear. Mina jerks. Hyun holds in her laugh as Mina slowly comes to.

“Get up, loser. We’re going to breakfast.” Hyun smacks her for good measure.

“I hate you.” Mina groans.

“Yeah, yeah.”

Breakfast is less painful. 

There is a definite comfort in surrounding herself with people who talk well because she doesn’t feel any pressure to keep the conversation going. Those around her are all too eager to do that for her. She can just listen in, occasionally comment, and relish in the sweet bliss that comes from it.

“They have a lounge here,” Kuhn pipes up brightly. “I can hook up my Xbox and slay everyone here in 2K.”

“Why does everything have to be a competition?” Jackson moans. “Can’t we just be friends and do friendly stuff?”

“Aw, Jax. Don’t be salty just because I laid your soul to rest in Street Fighter, and air hockey, and the ball toss, and-”

“Fine.” Jackson stands up. “Let’s go before I knock all of this bastard's teeth out.”

“Oh, yeah.” Kuhn jumps up and runs for the elevator, probably to get his Xbox, while Mark and Jackson head in the opposite direction towards a set of tinted doors where there is apparently a lounge. 

“What are you up for?” Chanyeol asks Hyun.

“I was going to paint,” she answers.

“You two?” Chanyeol asks Mina and Hani. They look at each other briefly before standing. 

“I wouldn’t miss this trainwreck for anything,” Hani says, waving as she walks in the direction of the lounge.

“I’ve got nothing better to do. Later, Lala.” Mina runs to catch up.

“Another day together then.” Chanyeol seems endlessly happy about that. Hyun tries her best not to look too ecstatic. This is still very awkward and most definitely won’t stop being that way for a while. She wants to say something all smooth like in romcoms where the lead female is all fiery but cute at the same time. Her mind goes blank. Nothing comes to her. 

“Looks like it.” That’s the best she can do. 

Hyun came prepared with her stuff. But, Chanyeol has to go back to his room to get his phone and some other stuff. They agree to meet on the deck. Hyun goes on ahead and waits on the deck as promised. The day isn't as cold as yesterday. The sky is a sad blue-grey mix. But that in itself is so beautiful that Hyun is itching to get a brush in her hands. Lethargic waves swell up and crash onto the shore as a sort of invitation. The white, frothy tips linger a short time on the sand. 

Hyun can’t wait. She plops right there on the deck and unloads her supplies. She sets the paints, water bottle, and brushes out. She’s grateful that she thought to bring the thin-tipped ones because they will fit in the mouth of the water bottle. She sets out her baby easel and adjusts the legs to a comfortable height, not too low, not too high.

Chanyeol appears sometime later while shes' trying to find a suitable mix between black and white to color the waves. He has a basket of something.

“Figured we could make it a date.” He plops next to her on the bench.

Why does the word ‘date’ make her squirm?

“Okay.” He can’t see her ears changing colors, right?

“A sweet for my sweet?” A de-tipped strawberry pops into her vision and distorts her view of grey on white. She follows the arm up to Chanyeol’s happy face. He wiggles it a little. Hyun takes a deep breath and opens . He sets the strawberry on her tongue, tapping her chin afterward and setting to work unwrapping something else. Hyun just tries not to die as she chews the strawberry and mixes more colors. 

After fifteen minutes have passed like this, Chanyeol feeding her and Hyun pausing to simultaneously have a heart attack and eat, she finally crinkles her nose once she reaches her limit of hand-fed fruits. Chanyeol pouts at this, but he gets over it quickly. He then hands Hyun a grape and she takes it curiously. She almost puts it in her own mouth when Chanyeol stops her and points to his own open mouth. 

“You’re a child,” she says finally. She laughs still. 

She has to feed him to get him to stop pouting. 

ᴅ ᴇ ғ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ  ʀ ᴇ ᴊ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ s

By the time Mark, Jackson, and Kuhn come scrambling from the glass doors, Hyun only has some grey and white on her paper. She’s content, though. The boys run off onto the sand and begin wrestling around. 

“Be right back.” Chanyeol jostles Hyun’s shoulders thoughtfully before running after them. He looks like a big kid. Hyun feels warm just looking at them. It gets better when Mina and Hani come out minutes later and sit next to Hyun. This is what it feels like to be surrounded and happy. She could get used to this.

They run around on the beach until the sky darkens and forces them to go inside for pre-dinner? Late lunch? The menu is more appetizing. Hyun has some pizza and corn, not exactly healthy, per se, but delicious nonetheless. Hyun relaxes even more, even laughs at Jackson’s tasteless jokes and Mark’s progressive insults. 

“Let’s do something fun,” Kuhn says around a mouthful of food. He swallows. “I brought a Ouija board.”

“No, thanks.” Hani shakes her head with a frown. “I like the realm of the living just fine.”

“You’re not going to die.” Kuhn stresses. “Whoever’s in, come to my room after. Okay? Call it pregaming before the concert. Except we’re not drinking. I’m just trying to scare the out of you guys.”

“I’m not going,” Hani says strongly. 

Early dinner ends around seven. The employees have to physically Mark and Jackson from the table because they get into an argument about (what else?) games when the rest are finishing up their plates. They go back to their rooms.

Hyun takes a quick shower as soon as she gets to the room. She puts on some black jeans and a pretty red shirt with buttons and a lace collar. After, she sits on the bed with her phone, waiting with Mina while Hani showers. When Hani is done, Mina goes in after her. She surprises herself by actually being excited. She's not particularly ready to have her senses battered with noise, but she’s still excited. 

Hyun squints at the numbers on her phone. 

7.15 pm

Just short of two hours before the concert.

“We should go,” Mina says. Hani stares at her like she’s changing colors.

“I like living,” she stresses every word. “There’s no way I’m going. You don’t know Kuhn well enough yet. He’s literally insane. The boy has issues. I’m not fooling around in any of his Thai black magic.”

“It’s just a game,” Hyun says with a quiet laugh, a little spooked herself but not willing to let on. 

“To you, maybe.” Hani shakes her head. “He’s mental. And I have classes on Tuesday I need to be alive to go to.”

“Come on, Hani.” Mina begs.

“Fine.” Hani groans. "But, I'm holding the both of your personally responsible for whatever happens to my soul."

Mina, Hyun, and Hani walk down together and knock on the door. Mark opens it with a toothy smile. 

“Look who joined the party.” Mark steps out of the way. 

The chairs have been pushed to the wall and the boys are in a circle on the floor beside the bed. Just the sight of the board creeps the hell out of Hyun. The dark sparkle in Kuhn’s eyes should give them a hint that he’s enjoying this to the utmost. She sits anyway and tugs Hani down.

“Welcome, ladies.” Kuhn nearly cackles. “Who’s ready to have their spiritual energies tampered with?”

“Not me.” Hani‘s getaway is thwarted by Jackson pulling her by the arm and she plops back on the ground, legs crossed and face deeply troubled. “If I get my soul molested by spirits I’m so coming back to haunt the living crap out of all of you. Watch.”

“Oh, hush.” Kuhn rolls his eyes. “Now, everyone hold hands and repeat after me.”

They ask the board a few questions for twenty minutes while nothing actually happens. Hani freaks out at one point because the glass thingy jerks to the left out of nowhere, but only because Jackson and Mark are fabricating some plot to “make her pee her pants”. 

It’s working. 

The time inches by and no one is actually shaken up by anything besides Hani. She looks absolutely petrified. Hyun has to admit it’s pretty funny to watch a grown woman pushed almost to tears. A strange feeling bubbles up in her stomach and she thinks she hears a whisper in one ear. But, that sounds crazy even to her.

“Concert time!”