A Hole In the Vortex

She’s never had a guy grind his sweaty junk on her backside. Hyun supposes there’s a first time for everything. Of all the things she’d feared would happen, some dude trying to get fresh with her is one of the things she apparently glazed right over. He’s insistent, drunkenly slurring an obscene script in her face that sounds like something from a movie titled The Dangers of Whoremonger Fanatics or Concert Dopes Get Freaky. 

“Get off of her before I knock your front teeth in.” Jackson is at Hyun’s side within seconds, twisting the ert’s arm behind his back and shoving him hard enough for Hyun to slip from between them. She power walks back to the front entrance, flashes her authorized bracelet at the security, and ducks inside while taking deep breaths and trying not to die. 
 
The concert hasn’t even started yet. Hyun needed to pee and Jackson, as one would have it, also had to pee. So as brand spankin’ new teeny bladder buddies they decided to skip the ungodly long lines for the bathrooms in the venue’s reception area and go across the street to Baskin Robins. All was well until Hyun finished early and had to wait for Jackson outside.
 
Jackson catches up with her as she’s going inside the concert hall, nearly tripping on herself to get back to their seats and not be touched by anyone. Somebody taps her shoulder and Hyun spins around, ready to whale on whoever it is. Then she realizes it's Jackson when he catches her arm.
 
“Hey, hey.” He releases her arm and holds up his hands in surrender. “It’s me. You do track? How do you make your legs move that fast?”
 
“Running away is a skill,” Hyun says stiffly. 
 
“Are you okay?” he asks just as they’re squeezing down the row to their seats. 
 
No.

No, she’s not okay. Some weirdo just assaulted her with his nasty little privates. He smelled drunk, or high. People think it’s alright to just come and scream in her face and flash the various parts of their bodies they have painted. It’s loud, hot, cramped, and her senses are already sizzled into a coma. Nausea is swirling in her gut and threatening to spill vomit over the girl in the seat in front of her. She’s apologetic in advance.  
 
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbles upon reaching her seat. Jackson looks satisfied enough. He wouldn’t have understood anyway. 
 
“You find the bathroom okay?” Chanyeol asks, holding her hand. Hyun nods right away and hopes he won’t ask anything else.
 
He doesn’t. 

The lights dim then, and a bass guitar starts going through the speakers. 

"Hello my little agents of rebellion," Dean, lead guitarist and singer/rapper, whispers into the mic to the backing track of a roaring crowd. She looks better in real life, underneath the twinkling stagelights, than she does on Hyun's laptop screen. Her stomach flutters in a good way. That's kinda of a first. They start out with Hyun's favorite song, Food For Thought:
 
The sun comes up on another day of slaughter.

My temple is a temptress armed with a single-edged sword
I can sell
but never profit from the fruit of my crown,
Always blurred behind a vandalized display case
subject to prodding and poking,
I’m picked to pieces,
Abandoned to rot in the leftover parts of my own soul.

They play some old favorites, a few new songs, and cannon blast some merch into the crowd before doing the encore song. Another new one that Hyun is going to paint to as soon as she gets the chance. She cradles her newly acquired Whoremongers shirt with Dean on it as she jams out. The concert is over too soon. Some people linger beneath the stage in anticpation of at least being sweated on. Hyun is greatful they leave before the masses realize the Whoremongers aren't hanging around backstage, waiting for the right time to pop out and yell 'surprise!'. 

The group grabs some late-night food before heading back to the pension and huddling in the lobby one last time. After a general consensus is reached to meet up at eight to have breakfast before they leave, everyone separates. Chanyeol kisses Hyun on the forehead, an action at which everyone ‘ooh’s and she feels like dying. 

She doesn’t dream. It’s nice. 

ᴅ ᴇ ғ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ  ʀ ᴇ ᴊ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ s

She wakes up in the morning feeling cool on the side that’s uncovered by the sheet and blazingly hot on the side that Mina is snuggled up to, face smashed in Hyun’s shoulder. Hyun carefully peels Mina’s arm from around her torso and slides out of bed, replacing her presence with an extra pillow. Mina doesn’t move. 
 
The second she steps onto the freezing tile of the bathroom her entire body vibrates with a shiver. She hurriedly turns the shower on hot and goes back into the room to get some clothes and toiletries, following the same routine as the last few days: drag suitcase over to the window, pull a corner up to let sun shine in, get stuff. Except, this time it’s a little different. A folded paper, the stiff kind she normally uses, is laying on top of everything. She curiously unfolds the paper and smiles as a warm, prickly feeling makes her cringe and swoon at the same time. 
 
Her unfinished painting of grey on blue is now a sea of love, as the juvenile hearts would suggest. A stick image of Hyun and Chanyeol (she’s assuming here, he’s really bad, but it’s still cute) takes up most of the page, with a poem tucked in the corner that goes ‘roses are red, violets are blue, i love you’. 
 
Adorable.
 
Hyun keeps her hushed squealing to a minimum.
 
She folds the paper again and puts it in a separate pocket inside her suitcase. She thinks about it all while she showers, while she waits for Mina and Hani to shower, and on the elevator ride down as well. The boys have reserved a few tables nearest to the red velvet rope that borders the lobby and the dining area, closest to the windows that show a view of rain, cars, and residential buildings opposite the pension.
 
They eat quickly after that, pack, and leave separately in order to beat some form of traffic. Chances are they will get stuck in it all the same anyway. This time around Mina crawls into the backseat and shuts the door on her side, definitely so Hyun won’t follow her. Hyun pulls a face and sits in the front. They are on the interstate within ten minutes of driving. Mina falls asleep after another twenty minutes of holding a heavily one-sided conversation with Chanyeol about why she thinks he should hook her up with Mark. Hyun is just vibing out in her own little world when she feels eyes on her face. So she turns to Chanyeol and he looks away the moment her eyes meet his. This happens multiple times before she’s really conscious of what’s happening. She’s actually catching him staring. 
 

 ᴅ ᴇ ғ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ  ʀ ᴇ ᴊ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ s

Chanyeol drops Mina off at her house and she walks inside; although not before she gets a chance to wink, none too discreetly, and Hyun seethes. 

"Think your mom would mind if I take you back to my place?" Chanyeol asks.

"I really don't care." Hyun sighs. "I'm not ready to be alone with again."

"Well," Chanyeol takes his eyes off the road for one second to smile at Hyun and say, "you should tell someone where you're gonna be. I need at least one person to hold me accountable for bringing you back."

Hyun stops a giggle by clearing and smiles back, leaning over and kisssing Chanyeol's cheek. "Dork."

Even if it seems like they'll never stop driving down unfamiliar roads, they finally make it back to his place. No cars are in the driveway. Either the others got stuck in worse traffic than they did, or they made a detour. Hyun and Chanyeol end up in the living room, watching tv on the couch. The morning pans to afternoon, which means some Chinese takeout and more tv. At some point, Hyun knocks out on the couch, snuggled up Nathaniel's lap. Her eyes blink open after however long and she squirms when she discovers Chanyeol has been staring at her. 

After Chanyeol is done squeezing her and kissing her and making her want to crawl into a ditch to escape his undivided stare, Hyun has to go to the bathroom. So he goes to the bathroom. And then she feels like watching another movie, so Chanyeol pops in this comedy that isn't very comedic and Hyun dozes off after some time out of both boredom.

She wakes up during the night because her fingers are freezing and Chanyeol had gotten off the couch at some point and is crouched by the window with his arms around his knees and rocking a little. Hyun's throat begins to pulse and is dry simultaneously at the sight. She gets off the couch to crawl over to Chanyeol, reaching out her hand hesitantly. Chanyeol's bare shoulder feels like arctic ice and Hyun immediately begins to fret over how long he’d been there, as still as a corpse without a soul. 

“Chanyeol." Hyun falls into Chanyeol's bubble without meaning to. “Baby?”

The body shifts, turning his head at the sound of Hyun's voice in recognition, or so she hopes. Chanyeol stalls for a few seconds before he stares full on at what has to be Hyun's petrified gaze. He doesn't seem...right. His eyes are empty, if eyes can even do that. The usual convolution full of interwoven helixes is just a dead strip where his spirit should be. 

“Chanyeol.” By this point, Hyun isn't expecting a response. She's just repeating it so she can remind herself that this person sitting and staring right through her is still a shell of her boyfriend, even if the breathing part is missing. When the man lifts his arms Hyun releases her wound fist in anticipation of a hug or an explanation at least; then she is tight again when the arm swings down at her and takes hold of her wrist in a grip so unrelenting Hyun forgets for one moment that Chanyeol once was and fear quivers low in her belly, hands going cold. What terrifies her more than anything is that his eyes are still hollow, even as he is holding her wrist in something that suggests a blinding anger. They lack even the fury that the rest of his face reeks of. 

As if her silent praying works like a hex, the grip loosens some, and Chanyeol slowly returns to his body. His eyes are the last to fill with himself and Hyun nearly blacks out from the compression of hot emotion springing free and swarming her senses, leaving her relieved and tired beyond belief. Without preamble, Chanyeol presses Hyun to his chest and his own face against her cheek. The brisk surprise almost has Hyun scrambling away. Almost.

“Was I…” Chanyeol starts, abashment so thick in his voice that Hyun answers right away to stop him.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, princess. I’m so so sorry I did that to you...with you. I-I…”

“No. Don't apologize. I'm no better, ” Hyun says quietly.

“It hasn't happened in so long,” comes Chanyeol perturbed response.  

“It’s okay.” Hyun pats Chanyeol's back for a little while after, long enough for the trembling to start, and so Hyun holds him even tighter because of it. “It’s okay.”

Hyun doesn’t know if it’s really okay. She's shaking even as she says this. She can't understand why her entire chest stings when while she's holding Chanyeol like she'll never get to hold him ever again. Why are her palms sweating so terribley? Why does he feel like a part of him is going to die if everything doesn't actually turn out okay?

As ing dramatic as that is.