Taekwoon pretty much loved his new life.

In the evening, after he’d changed into some of Hakyeon’s oversized clothes, he grabbed Hakyeon’s phone and began ordering pizza for two.

“Don’t worry,” he flashed Hakyeon a lazy smile. “I’m not going to live off you.”

Hakyeon returned him a dark stare. “But looks like you’re doing exactly that.”

Taekwoon looked up from the screen and waved Hakyeon’s device teasingly in his hand. “I’m using my credit card. Not yours.” He shifted his focus back onto the screen. “Just that I need to borrow your phone for now. Because mine’s still back at home.”

He fiddled with the keypad, not used to how it felt to be using a smartphone again. After all, he’d been a cat for months, away from civilisation, or at least, with limited access to it.

“We should invite Jaehwan and Wonshik over some other time,” he added. “But not today.” He glanced at Hakyeon. “Today it’ll just be the two of us to each other. Hehe.”

Hakyeon’s heart raced at the thought of his friends meeting Taekwoon. How was he going to start explaining to them that his cat had turned human and decided to continue living with him?

“I-I think it’d be better if Jaehwan and Wonshik didn’t know about this.”

Taekwoon looked up from the screen and stared at Hakyeon for a while.

“Okay,” he shrugged. “Anything you say.”

And then they had dinner.

Throughout dinner Hakyeon was silent, trying his very best to fight off the sick feeling in his gut. There were many times he just wanted to put down his food and tell Taekwoon to leave, but he didn’t have the heart to. He didn’t have the heart to, because it wasn’t Taekwoon’s fault he ended up like that.

But Hakyeon didn’t think it was his fault, either, that he couldn’t accept all of this. Every time he envisioned Taekwoon as the same cat he played in the bath tub with, he would shudder with utter shame and uneasiness. What’d gone into his head back then…for him to decide it was a good idea to bring Shadow home? Because right now, Taekwoon’s very presence served as a blatant reminder for his one huge, humiliating mistake he wished he’d never made.

He sighed. It was only day one. And he wondered how long more he needed to put up with Taekwoon.

But then again, day one also meant that Taekwoon wasn’t going to give up so soon, either.

“What are you doing.” Hakyeon widened his eyes as he watched Taekwoon climb into the bed. He pulled the sheets further up his neck and backed himself up against the wall. “Don’t come over.”

Taekwoon raised his eyebrow. “What?” he shrugged nonchalantly. “We used to do this, Hakyeon. We used to share the same bed.”

“That was when you were still a cat-”

“If the issue is about space constraint then you don’t have to worry.” Taekwoon offered him a smile. “Because in less than a few hours I’ll turn back into your favourite black cat and you’ll regain all the space you need.”

“I’m not sharing a bed with a stranger.”

“Well back then you didn’t give me a choice either,” Taekwoon replied. “And we definitely aren’t strangers already, Hakyeon. I’m your beloved cat. In human form.”

Hakyeon opened his mouth to protest but Taekwoon wasn’t budging. The taller man quickly found himself a cosy spot – unnecessarily close to Hakyeon – and pulled the blankets over his chest.

“Should I sing you a song?” Taekwoon began, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Hakyeon let out an exasperated sigh and shut his eyes. Maybe if he fell alseep immediately he’d have less of Taekwoon’s nonsense to tolerate.

“You used to sing lullabies for me, Hakyeon,” Taekwoon continued. “It’s time I returned the favour.”

“No thanks-”

“Your favourite song. Impossible Skies,” Taekwoon rambled on. He abruptly turned to face Hakyeon. “You’ll finally get to hear it live. Exclusively just for you.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes. He wanted to argue, but Taekwoon’s live vocals suddenly invaded his ears and they were so beautiful, they silenced him in no time.

It felt like something out of a wonderful dream.

He shuddered and blinked himself awake. Even if this was beyond what he’d ever hoped for as Taekwoon’s biggest fan, it wasn’t going to change the fact that the Jung Taekwoon beside him now was still a glaring reminder of the blunder he’d made.

He pulled the covers higher around his neck and turned away from Taekwoon. “I need to sleep.”

Taekwoon stopped singing abruptly. “O-okay then. Goodnight.”

Hakyeon turned back slightly and cast him a dark look. “I didn’t say you could stop.”

Taekwoon raised his eyebrow. Although Hakyeon had become much more of a hostile person than the amicable man he once knew, perhaps the eccentric side to him hadn’t diminished. “Okay,” he shrugged. “Where was I.” He cleared his throat, then gingerly picked up from where he’d left off.

And then that went on for many nights to come.

Every morning Hakyeon would wake up to the same old feeling of a ball of warmth at his feet, and then he’d quietly get himself ready for classes. Taekwoon would observe silently from the bed, and through his cat eyes he’d notice the emotionless look on Hakyeon’s face – the face that no longer beamed at him with overwhelming fondness.

In the late afternoon, when Taekwoon was human, Hakyeon would pass him a set of clothes to change into. While he respected Hakyeon’s wishes for them to shower separately from now on, Hakyeon didn’t seem express as much of gratitude as he hoped he would. Perhaps the past was so much of a disgrace to Hakyeon, he didn’t know how to face up to it. Perhaps the only way was for Taekwoon and Hakyeon to shun the topic as much as they could, hoping that with time Taekwoon would grow to forget whatever image of Hakyeon he’d used to see in the bathroom.

But again, that didn’t mean Hakyeon could forsake, entirely, the affectionate side to him – the affectionate side that Taekwoon thought had been a part of his owner’s unique charm, as much as the cat didn’t want to admit it.

It pained Taekwoon that Hakyeon no longer laid a finger on him – not as a cat and not even more so as a human. The only time Hakyeon initiated contact with him was when Jaehwan and Wonshik dropped by, and Taekwoon would hastily turn back into a cat (if he wasn’t already like that) to hide himself from them. Hakyeon would then occasionally give him a few on his head, but even then Taekwoon knew it was merely a pretense in front of his friends.

And even then, Hakyeon’s icy, distant demeanour towards his cat wasn’t something that’d escape Jaehwan or Wonshik’s eyes.

“You look like you no longer want anything to do with your cat.” Wonshik’s words were hurtful to Taekwoon’s sharp ears.

Hakyeon shrugged but did not reply.

“Did he kill your mom or something,” Jaehwan sniggered. “Otherwise I can’t figure out why you’re all of a sudden so unnecessarily cold to this bastard.”

Wonshik nodded. “And then it’s even more puzzling why you haven’t decided to let him go,” he added. “Might as well, right. Don’t see any reason why you’re still clinging onto him.”

Hakyeon wanted to clench his fists and scream. Taekwoon was one clinging onto him, not the other way round. But it wasn’t as though explaining himself would help the situation.

But that also meant that to Jaehwan and Wonshik, Hakyeon had suddenly become a terrible owner. Especially at times when Jaehwan would stare at Hakyeon for scooping up a huge serving of human food for his cat – a serving so huge, it was as though Hakyeon was feeding a man his size. It perplexed his friends, but Hakyeon swore he wasn’t going to let them know anything about the shameful truth that revolved around him and his relationship with his cat.

Sometimes, though, it was by choice that Taekwoon stayed in his beast form. He’d sit by Hakyeon’s desk as the same old black cat, silently watching while Hakyeon did his work, hoping that perhaps it would arouse the affectionate but dormant aspect of Hakyeon, that perhaps it would help Hakyeon gain back the joys of owning his cat like before.

Hakyeon, on the other hand, no longer played Taekwoon’s music while he studied. There was suddenly something so repulsive about his playlist that made him not even the least bit willing to go near it, and while Taekwoon pretended to not have noticed, it slowly ate him up inside.

He didn’t know exactly how long more he could maintain a confident front.

Still, he persisted. Taekwoon pretty much never went beyond the four walls of the room, always staying by Hakyeon’s side, or patiently awaiting his owner’s return while Hakyeon was in school. In the day, Taekwoon would conserve his powers so that he could turn back human whenever Hakyeon returned, and then he would invite his room mate for a casual chat. They talked about everything under the sun, though initially it was pretty much a one-sided conversation on Taekwoon’s part. But eventually, Hakyeon had begun to feel terribly bad about ignoring the presence in his room, and although it was a presence he’d never asked for, he’d gradually opened up to Taekwoon in silent hopes that he could offer his idol some form of temporary distraction from his cursed life.

And as painful as it seemed, Hakyeon didn’t appear to feel anything for Taekwoon beyond mere sympathy.

“Don’t you have any future plans?” Hakyeon asked one day, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as they both lay in bed, unnecessarily up close to each other.

“I don’t know.” Taekwoon’s warm breath against Hakyeon’s ear was something Hakyeon had slowly grown accustomed to.

Hakyeon fell silent momentarily. “Y-you can’t go on like this forever.”

Taekwoon grinned. “Why not. I’m pretty satisfied with what we have right now.”

“We…don’t have anything.”

Taekwoon’s smile faltered like a weak flame in the wind, but it was dark and Hakyeon wasn’t looking at him so it did not matter.

“Pick a song,” Taekwoon said abruptly.

“Don’t change the topic.”

“Pick a song,” he repeated. “Don’t forget our daily bedtime routine.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes. He decided he didn’t want to reply. He turned to face the wall, then shut his eyes and went to sleep. Because only in his dreams could he finally be free from the creepy, humiliating reality, free from Taekwoon’s suffocating behaviour, free from anything that reminded him of their disgraceful past that only Hakyeon himself was responsible for.

“Hakyeon…?”

Taekwoon was answered with an icy silence.

“If I’m destined to remain as a demon forever,” he probed, knowing very well by the sound of Hakyeon’s breathing that he was very much awake, “…would you still be willing…to be with me…?”

A tight furrow had unknowingly formed across Hakyeon’s brows. Perhaps what he truly needed liberation from was the pressurising obligation to return Taekwoon’s feelings.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t return them, because he as much as he tried, he couldn’t imagine a future with someone who was…no longer human.

“I’m…sorry.” The words were piercing to the heart, and the moment they spilled out of his mouth Hakyeon instantly wished he’d kept quiet instead. Or that maybe Taekwoon had miraculously fallen asleep and they would both forget about the topic by the next morning.

There was an unsettling silence, and Hakyeon quietly edged closer to the wall. Taekwoon’s hot breath against his ear slowly diminished with the increasing distance between them, and Hakyeon figured that if he concentrated hard enough perhaps he could eventually forget about the presence of another man in the room.

But Taekwoon wasn’t going to let Hakyeon do just that.

“I love you.” The words came out gentle, but they were anything but comforting. And when they reached Hakyeon’s ears it was pretty much evident that there was absolutely nothing he could do…to ever pretend that Taekwoon wasn’t there.

***********

The night was silent, save for Hongbin’s unusually noisy ceiling fan. He lay wide awake in bed, the tranquil environment doing anything but quieten the loud thoughts that hammered away in his mind.

Moonlight that spilled through the windows thoroughly illuminated the small room. In the corner of his vision a sharp glint pierced his pupils, and it blinded Hongbin momentarily. He winced and rubbed his eyes, then stared back curiously into the distance…only to see that darned mirror on that darned machine staring right back at him.

He groaned. If the reflection of the bright moon resembled anything, it was definitely a wide, hideous grin that mocked him from the heavens.

“Sanghyuk,” he breathed into the silence. “Maybe it was all nothing but a mistake…to think I actually had the means to bring you back.”

He sighed and pulled the covers higher up his chest, then flipped over onto his side so that he faced anything but that stupid mirror. He decided if that cursed machine was going to mock him, then he wasn’t going to acknowledge its wicked presence.

“Did you know, Sanghyuk,” he continued, “that with every new method I tried…the less hope I harboured.” He blinked back the tears in his eyes. “With every failure, it seemed less and less promising that you could ever come back.”

He bit his lip anxiously. “I’m afraid to proceed. I really am,” he choked. “I mean, what happens when I reach the last method? What happens when I’m left with the last glimmer of hope? What happens…when even that fails?”

His voice rang through the night, and all that answered were wistful echoes.

“Maybe if I hadn’t started all this, maybe if I hadn’t boldly assumed I could outsmart our fate, Sanghyuk,” he muttered, “then maybe I wouldn’t have landed Taekwoon in the state he is today.”

He swallowed the bitter knot in his throat, then balled his fists up. Guilt pounded relentlessly at his heart, and he knew that it was all a mistake from the beginning, that it was all his fault he started this mess. It was all his fault and maybe if he wasn’t so selfish, if he hadn’t been so careless, if he-

A shadow darted past his window.

“W-who’s that?” He sat up instantly. The luminous orb in the night sky blinded him slightly, but as his pupils adjusted to the light, he slowly made out the silhouette of a small creature perched right at his windowsill.

A pair of sapphire eyes stared back at him.

And they mirrored the longing and sorrow in Hongbin’s own eyes.

Hongbin gasped, then a hand flew to his chest. “S-Sanghyuk…?” he gulped. “Is that you…!”

The kitten managed a small “meow” in response, its frosty-white fur backlit by the radiant moonlight, forming an ethereal halo that outlined its tiny body.

Hongbin opened his mouth, but could not manage anything coherent. He leapt up from the bed as he watched, through his growingly watery vision, the cat cautiously climb through the window grill.

“Sanghyuk!!” he shrilled. The cat hopped onto the floor, and Hongbin launched forward excitedly, but then suddenly his vision went black and a sharp pain knocked at his skull.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Sanghyuk chuckled. “That hurt.” He brought his human arms up and gently pulled Hongbin away, then placed a hand across his own chest. “You’re going to break my ribs.”

Hongbin stepped back, wincing at the pain in his head. “Ow.”

“Are you hurt?”

Hongbin brought a hand up and fondled his forehead. “Why didn’t you warn me that you were gonna turn human.”

Sanghyuk sniggered. “If you could understand the warning from a cat I wouldn’t have needed transform mysel-”

He yelped in surprise as Hongbin suddenly pulled him into a tight embrace.

“I missed you so much, Sanghyuk.” His voice was shaky, but b with a level of jubilance that was only once possible in his dreams.

Sanghyuk held him back tighter. “Me too.”

“I-I thought I’d never see you again,” Hongbin choked back on his silly tears. “Am I dreaming or-”

“You’re not,” Sanghyuk grinned.

Hongbin sniffed, then took a step back. “Where’d you come from?”

Sanghyuk let out a small laugh at the absurd question. “From my mom’s belly, of course.”

Hongbin frowned. “What.” He stared at Sanghyuk for a moment. “D-don’t tell me…”

“What?”

“It. Worked.” Hongbin’s eyebrows shot up. “It worked, Sanghyuk…!!”

Sanghyuk stared back at Hongbin like he was mad. “What worked-”

“Oh my god.” Hongbin was beginning to jump around uncontrollably. He grabbed Sanghyuk by his shoulders and pulled him into a second hug, another string of incoherent words spilling out from between his lips. Sanghyuk stood stunned, only occasionally catching a few phrases like “you’ve regained your memory” and “I didn’t spend the time feeding them for nothing”.

“What’s going on-”

“Sanghyuk.” Hongbin was now looking at him with intense passion in his watery eyes. “Whatever that I didn’t have the chance to say…”

Sanghyuk raised his eyebrows. “Wh-”

“I love you.” The words were soft but firm, and in an instant they spilled an insurmountable amount of warmth in his heart like a million suns on a single thawing glacier.

“You-” Sanghyuk’s heart skipped a beat. “What did you say??”

Hongbin grinned and slowly raised his arms, cradling Sanghyuk’s wet cheeks in his trembling hands. “I’ve sorted out my thinking. And I’ve decided that nothing will ever come between us from now on.”

A wide smile crept up Sanghyuk’s lips, and he stared back at Hongbin with an indescribable amount of elation. “You mean it…?”

Hongbin nodded earnestly, but suddenly a scowl formed across his face and the grin across his lips vanished.

“Why did you leave me behind,” he pouted.

Sanghyuk shrugged, then lowered his gaze. “Thought that maybe with death I could be reincarnated as human.”

“…”

“What.”

“Just because you wanted to be with me??”

“If I became something of your kind mayb-”

“By the time you were reborn human I would probably be in my nineties.”

Sanghyuk chuckled. “How would you know-”

Hongbin placed a finger on Sanghyuk’s lips and it silenced him instantly. He stared at Sanghyuk for what seemed like a full minute, then gingerly opened his mouth.

“Sanghyuk.” His gaze was firm but silly, as though a terrible idea had crept up his head. “I can prove to you, with actions, that when I said I loved you…I meant it.”

“What?” Sanghyuk’s mouth fell open, then he backed away quickly. “N-no. This is progressing a little too quic-”

“Sanghyuk.”

“Hongbin I-”

“Would you wait for me…?”

Sanghyuk froze in his steps. “What??”

Hongbin nodded. He peeled his eyes briefly away from Sanghyuk, then motioned to something that gleamed in the corner of the room.

“W-what are you trying to do…”

Hongbin did not reply immediately. He sighed and lowered his gaze, biting his lip anxiously. Then, he suddenly looked back up at Sanghyuk, a hint of resolve in his eyes.

“I’m going to reverse my mistakes.”

***********

(A/N: Woah this was a long chapter, but I hope you are ok with the pace of things. Pretty much exhausted all of brain power to finish this, so forgive me this time for any mistakes or incoherence. Do look forward to the final chapter ((for which I have no idea when I'll be able to complete)). Haha.)