Jongin makes sure Kyungsoo stands beside him as they walk through the entrance of the SM building. Whenever it looks like someone is going to talk to him, he pulls him into a whisper just to deter anyone from approaching them.

“Just look busy,” he says into Kyungsoo’s ear, and the shorter man nods once, his expression the image of seriousness.

The entire situation has been kept under wraps, as the members were told to keep hush and only select SM executive staff members were alerted of, what they termed, ‘the intersection.’

Because it’s now day five without any sign of a switch back, the men in black wanted Kyungsoo to come in to answer more questions in case he knew anything. Jongin insisted Kyungsoo knew nothing more than what he told them that first day, but he was pushed aside and their manager grabbed Kyungsoo. Unable to do anything, Jongin insisted he come along still. Before they could argue, Jongin explained he had to go to SM anyway for practice.

As he filed into the van beside Kyungsoo, by his ear he heard a gentle whisper, “Thank you, Jongin.” Jongin refrained from reaching out and squeezing his hand, despite how right it felt in the moment.

And now they’re approaching the elevator, and two men wearing security head pieces and sunglasses are standing in between Jongin and Kyungsoo. Jongin tries to push in between, but they don’t budge.

“You can’t come any further,” his manager tells him. When he can tell Jongin is about to object, he says, “You can wait for Kyungsoo in the practice room. I’ll bring him there after.”

Before Jongin can even put his foot down, they’re rushing into the elevator and Jongin watches as the door closes in front of him.

“Why are they being so secretive?” he asks himself with a pout. “It’s not like there’s anything he would say that he couldn’t in front of me.” With a sigh, he makes his way up the stairs to their usual practice room.

Junmyeon, Sehun, and Jongdae are already there, stretching as their newest track plays in the background.

“You’re early,” Sehun greets, bumping shoulders with him. “I thought you asked for another half day.”

“They rejected my request,” Jongin sighs, taking off his outer jacket. “Kyungsoo’s here too. They’re asking him questions upstairs.”

If Junmyeon stiffens at the mention of Kyungsoo and looks away, Jongin pretends he’s too busy getting a cup of water to notice.

“You’re really protective of him,” Sehun notes with a raised eyebrow. “You know you’re not the one engaged to him, right?”

Jongin frowns, unhappy with the implication of Sehun’s tone. “He’s my friend. I don’t need to be dating him to be concerned about him.”

The expression on Sehun’s face implies he has a lot more to say about this matter, but lucky for Jongin, Jongdae ushers the younger man away and distracts him by asking about a dance move for their choreography. Thank goodness for Jongdae.

The rest of the members arrive half an hour later for them to practice the new choreography. It looks awkward with a gap everywhere Kyungsoo is supposed to be, but they’ve made it work before with missing members and they’ll make it work now.

Even though he’s busy with the choreography and helping the other members, Jongin still finds himself glancing at the clock more often than usual. He worries his lower lip with every half hour that goes by without Kyungsoo back.

When they call break two hours in, Jongin is about to text his manager to ask where they were when the door opens and in walks Kyungsoo with his head down. He bows at everyone, while the half the members greet him with a smile and a few others with hesitant looks.

“I’m going to bring Kyungsoo back to the dorm,” their manager tell everyone, but his eyes are focused on Jongin.

Jongin wants to say he’ll come too, or insist Kyungsoo stay, but neither of those options are possible. So instead he just gives Kyungsoo a halfhearted wave and a smile before the two leave as fast as they came.

“You know, you’re not even this way with our Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says, arms crossed as he looks at Jongin up and down. “What’s up?”

“Not this again,” Jongin groans, stretching. “I’m just being a good friend!”

“Are you implying I’m not a good friend if I don’t worry about Kyungsoo’s whereabouts every second of the day?”

Jongin rolls his eyes at the dramatic reply. “No, it’s just— he trusts me. So I feel more responsible for him, is all.” Jongin covers his face with his hands, embarrassed to say it out loud. He knows he shouldn’t worry, because it’s not like Kyungsoo is a kid, but he can’t help it. If the roles were reversed, Jongin would hope that the Jongin of Earth-88 would take care of their Kyungsoo too.

Baekhyun purses his lips as if he doesn’t believe he’s getting the full story, but decides not to push it. “Alright. I was just worried you were beginning to think you were engaged to him too.”

Jongin allows himself a short laugh. “You don’t need to remind me. I know.”

• 

After managing to sneak away early from acting lessons by tuning into his instructor’s desire to go home and see his newborn daughter, Jongin finds his way back to the kitchen table and drinking tea with a freshly showered Kyungsoo. It’s half past 10, and only Jongdae is home. It’s quiet, aside from the music playing in his room.

Jongin focuses on the mug in his hand as he finds the courage to ask the question he’s been wondering about since he learned Kyungsoo was (1) from another Earth, and (2) engaged to Jongin on that Earth. He swallows then breathes in. It’s now or never.

"On your Earth, in public do you hold hands with me— I mean, Jongin?"

Kyungsoo glances over at him with a raised eyebrow. "Sometimes. If it's too crowded and we don't think anyone will notice, or if we're on the bus sitting in the back."

Jongin nods, humming as he stares out the window and mulls that over. He remembers playing with Kyungsoo's fingers in between shoots, when everyone is too busy running around getting things done to notice two young men smiling at each other.

"So it's not that different after all," Jongin says, looking over at Kyungsoo, whose expression softens at the gaze as if he understands exactly what Jongin means.

"No. It's not."

Jongin lets out a humorless laugh through his nose. "When you said he's your fiancé, I thought that maybe..." he trails off, but Kyungsoo's nod says he doesn't need any more clarification.

"We're going to Taiwan to get married." Kyungsoo is playing with the gold ring on his finger, smiling at it with fondness in his eyes. "It's going to be small, just his family and maybe my brother. Oh, and our friends, of course."

Jongin nods, but he doesn't say anything. He just continues to stare just a little past Kyungsoo’s head, eyes focusing on nothing in particular. Kyungsoo doesn't need any further acknowledgement though; he continues without prompting.

"We planned it all out before I proposed. We were torn between America and Taiwan, but Taiwan is closer and we're on a budget. Plus, we have friends we could stay with if we go to Taiwan. We looked at tuxes and even created a Pinterest board for it." Kyungsoo laughs. "And for a while, that's all it was. This dream that we sort-of had planned, but weren't really thinking about. He's busy at work, and I had a busy schedule too for a while. Until one day, when I'm walking home from the bus stop, I see a jewelry store and it just clicks. It was time."

Jongin snorts at that. "That's hardly romantic."

Kyungsoo kicks his shin with a light tap. "Not all epiphanies are romantic. Besides, I made sure the proposal was perfect. We went on a date to the movies, and then I took him out to dinner at our favorite Japanese restaurant. I had Baekhyun and Jongdae help set up everything back at our apartment. He cried."

"Pft."

"Jealous?"

Jongin frowns. Why would he be jealous? "No. I just don't think I'd cry if someone proposed to me."

Kyungsoo tilts his head. "That's because you haven't found the one."

"I've dated before." Jongin's known love through different faces. He's felt the rush of falling in and out with people he thought could be his future, but ended up only being a chapter of his life.

"That's not what I said. I said you haven't found the one. That's different from just dating."

It's probably because he's talking to a Kyungsoo from another Earth, an Earth where he's dating Jongin, and that's what's messing up his thought process, but an image of Kyungsoo laughing so hard at his joke that he falls off his chair flashes through his mind. He can feel again the surge of warmth in his chest when he saw the pure happiness that the older man emitted because of him. It had been so long since he had seen Kyungsoo laugh without any filters or restrictions.

Maybe it's because Jongin knows now, that in some other universe, he's found love in Kyungsoo, that he starts to wonder if that can happen in this universe too.

“I was thinking earlier today, about why this whole thing may have happened,” Kyungsoo starts out of nowhere. Jongin blinks, waiting for an elaboration. “Is there something you need to tell Kyungsoo that you haven’t told him yet?”

Jongin frowns. “Yeah.” It’s the reason they were supposed to meet that day when this Kyungsoo showed up instead. "Why?"

Kyungsoo hums, nodding his head. “I think the universe is trying to tell you or him or both of you something.”

That sounds like an accusation, and Jongin isn’t sure how he feels about that. “Why us? Why not you and your Jongin?”

“Because we’re a happy couple,” Kyungsoo says matter-of-factly. “These things don’t happen when people are happy. Don’t you watch any movies?” His head is tilted to the side, a cheeky grin on those plush lips of his. Jongin blinks once, twice, but he can’t look away.

As Kyungsoo brings his mug up to his lips, smiling as he takes a sip, Jongin finds himself reaching forward. His hands move on their own accord, cupping cheeks that are reddening now.

“Jongin…” Kyungsoo says, voice low in a quiet warning.

But Jongin doesn’t hear it. He can’t hear it, because he’s not here right now. He’s back at their old dorm, their first dorm that they spent short nights in after long days of practice. He’s back at the kitchen table, a much rattier and worn down one, sitting across from Kyungsoo who’s drinking the coffee they bought from the café down the street on their way back.

“I can’t remember the last time we got to do this,” Kyungsoo hummed, warming his hands on the coffee cup. “I rarely get to see you these days.”

“They have me filming every day,” Jongin sighed, leaned back in his chair with an ice pack on his knee. “But they told me my teaser drops next month.”

“Wow, we’re going to have so many fans because of you,” Kyungsoo teased, eyes crinkling into a smile. “Thank you for your hard work, Kai.”

“Stop it,” Jongin whined, but he was smiling too.

“I’m just speaking the truth,” Kyungsoo said, bopping his head to the side. “People love a pretty face. They’ll eat your teasers up right away. Like remember that movie we saw the other day with that really pretty actress who just couldn’t act, but the movie did super well in the box office.”

Jongin was only half-listening now though. Instead, he was focused on watching as Kyungsoo continued drinking his coffee, smiling at Jongin over the rim of the cup. He pulls the cup away, and Jongin's eye catches the thin line of foam above his lips. “You have something there.” He motioned to the area.

“Did I get it?” Kyungsoo asked, his upper lip. Close, but not quite. After a few more failed attempted tries, Jongin just stood up and leaned over the table, cupping his chin and swiping a finger across the foam. It wasn’t until his eyes met Kyungsoo’s widened one that he realized what he had done and the lack of space now left between them.

Jongin didn’t know how much time passed. He noticed his heart racing in his chest, the dryness of his mouth, and the shortness of breath. But he couldn’t do anything about it. He was frozen.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. He can’t remember if Kyungsoo had leaned into his touch, lips parting allowing a sneak peek of a tongue to stick out. And if he could remember, he wouldn’t know how to make sense of that anyway. Just like he still can’t make sense of the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes that are dark enough that Jongin could see his reflection in them.

But something pulled him away that night. Maybe it was the ache of his knee from too many retakes of his dance at the shoot earlier, or maybe it was Jongin’s body’s fight-or-flight reaction from the adrenaline.

It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Jongin pulled away, cleared his throat, and turned his back. He muttered a quick, “I’m going to go shower now,” before scurrying off to the bathroom, never looking back once.

It was one of what Jongin now realizes was a series of events that played out like that: their faces would somehow gravitate a little too close, Jongin’s breath would quicken, and then he would pull away right before as he felt faint. It had happened that night in bed two months ago, at a fan event three months before when Jongin dropped his pen and they both reached down to grab it at the same time, while at practice when they both laughed a little too hard at Chanyeol’s dancing and ended up colliding foreheads.

Jongin can’t count the number of times it’s happened in the past almost decade he’s now known Kyungsoo.

Staring at this Kyungsoo now, he doesn’t want to add another time to that list.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo repeats, this time his voice firmer. He hasn’t moved away from Jongin’s touch, but there’s stiffness in his jaw.

“Can I…” He his lips.

“What is it?” Kyungsoo asks, an edge to his voice.

Jongin leans in, and Kyungsoo flinches as their foreheads touch. Jongin can feel his warm breath fan his face. He wants more. “Can I. Kiss you?”

Kyungsoo finally breaks away, pushing Jongin back into his seat. He’s frowning, but there’s no malice in his eyes. No, there’s something else, something that is somehow much worse than malice to Jongin.

Pity.

“You really are just like him,” Kyungsoo whispers, shaking his head. “I should’ve guessed.”

“What…” Jongin trails off, afraid that if he speaks any more his voice will crack. He’s not sure which stings worse: the pity or the rejection. His eyes are focused on the table, where his hands rest, unsure of where to go.

“It makes sense. For you to love him, the way that my Jongin loves me.”

Jongin frowns, but he doesn’t say anything. Love. Is this feeling love? The pain in his chest, the swirling in his stomach, and the lump in his throat — are these really love? How can they be, when they hurt?

Kyungsoo’s gaze softens. “You said earlier, that you have something to tell him. What is it?”

Jongin doesn't understand why that matters so much. “It’s nothing,” he grumbles, crossing his arms before letting them fall to his side again. “I was just going to tell him about a role I got.” In an upcoming movie, he thinks but doesn't say.

He was so excited to be cast alongside big names, and so ready to tell Kyungsoo, but he wanted to do it in person. He wanted to see the look on Kyungsoo’s face, feel the warmth of pride when Kyungsoo would inevitably pull him into a big hug and tell him he’s happy for him.

But he hadn’t been able to get a hold of Kyungsoo for a week, until they finally planned to meet earlier this week.

To be honest, Jongin’s not even sure if it’s still a surprise. What if their manager told Kyungsoo in passing? Or one of Kyungsoo’s actor friends heard the news and told him first? Jongin clenches and unclenches his fist.

“That doesn’t sound like nothing,” Kyungsoo says.

“It’s just a role. I’ve told him about other roles I’ve gotten before.”

“But this time it’s different. It has to be, for the universe to go to such extreme lengths for a message to be delivered.”

Jongin wants to laugh-cry. “Why do you keep insisting the universe is conspiring against us?”

“Because it’s the only reason that makes sense!” Kyungsoo exclaims, getting up out of his chair only to fall back into his seat when he realizes he overreacted. He frowns, takes another sip of his tea, then speaks again.

“I believe things happen for a reason. And until you figure out that reason, I can’t go home.” Kyungsoo pauses, horror entering his features for a brief second at the mere thought. “I need to go home, Jongin. I need to return to him.”

“I know.” Jongin’s frown deepens. “But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Tell me the truth .”

Jongin can only stare. He has been telling the truth, or he thinks he has. But the way Kyungsoo is looking at him, eyes expectant, tells him he’s missing a large piece of the puzzle.

“I can’t—” Jongin feels his throat tighten and his eyes sting. “Kyungsoo, I’m already telling the truth.”

There’s a pause. Kyungsoo just stares.

“Do you really not know?” His voice is free of judgment. He just sounds… sad.

“Know what?” Jongin asks, pleading. He wants to know. Knowing may be the key to getting rid of the ache in his chest.

Kyungsoo is quiet, eyes focused on something else. “Jongin, do you remember the day we met? How I kissed you and you froze?”

“Yeah.” How could he forget?

“You didn’t push me away. Why?” Jongin only stares, so Kyungsoo continues. “You didn’t know I wasn’t him, but you still let me kiss you. Why?”

Jongin answers helplessly, “I don’t know.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “You do know, you just don’t want to admit it, which I don’t get because you’ve got nothing to lose. He’s not even here.”

Jongin wants to argue that he is. Kyungsoo is always here, where ever Jongin is, occupying a spot in his mind dedicated to his best friend. How would Kyungsoo react if he found out Jongin wanted more than what they already have? How would the world react if they found out? His mind races, terrified of these thoughts until they stop. Jongin catches a glimpse of the ring on Kyungsoo's left hand.

He realizes the world isn’t the audience right now. It’s only a figure of Kyungsoo.

“I want…” Round eyes, heart shaped lips, narrow shoulders. Eyes that smile when Jongin’s in the room, lips that sing melodies that run chills down his spine, shoulders that carry the weight of his head when he’s tired.

There's a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s okay to say it, Jongin.”

He remembers the feeling of being needed when he sat beside Kyungsoo earlier today, when Kyungsoo thanked him for coming. He can’t remember the last time his Kyungsoo had looked at him as if he needed him too. Jongin takes a sharp breath as the picture comes into view.

Jongin finally looks up from the table, eyes glistening as they meet the ones in front of him.

“I want him,” he chokes out. “I want him to only look at me.” His body betrays him as his body is overcome with too many emotions for him to process. Grief over a love he is missing out on, fear over a love he may never have, regret that he took too long to realize his feelings.

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo whispers in his ears, already up from his chair and standing by Jongin’s side, arms wrapped around him. “It’s okay.”

They move to the bedroom, afraid that the other members will come home any minute now and question why Jongin is sobbing in the middle of the kitchen. Kyungsoo brings him a new cup of tea, but his nose is running too much and he can’t enjoy it because every sip tastes salty.

“You’re okay,” Kyungsoo says as he lays Jongin down into the bed. “Let it all out.” Jongin can only sniffle before he takes another sharp breath in between sobs. He watches as Kyungsoo comes in and out of the room, before finally entering one last time, turning off the light and laying on the floor beside him.

“I’m proud of you,” is the last thing he hears before his eyes shut for the night.

• 

Jongin wakes up alone.

A/N: I realized that AFF isn't transferring over italics!!!!!! AHHH. I'll go back and edit them over the weekend or something, but I'm sorry about that. 

Anyway this fic is coming to an end wowwww this was another difficult chapter to write, but it's here, even more emotional than the last. The next two chapters will be uploaded together hopefully by Thursday night, but if not then by Saturday the latest! Can you believe I wrote this fic basically in a week (sans chapter one which took the longest to draft)?! Because I can’t!!!! It’s so much writing ahh but so rewarding to see it come together ah <3

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!