Ewon

Ewon lounged on the deck on the third day of the cruise on a chair positioned beside Taehyung's. His eyes were closed, and apart from the conversations going on close by, he dissociated from the world around him. Warm sun beat down on him, and the ocean air filled his lungs. One of his hands hung off the side of his chair, and he left it there, dangling. He was too comfy to think of picking it up.

Taehyung's fingers found his, and he took Ewon's hand in his own. They held hands, lounged out together, but on separate chairs. The token of affection was small, but it filled Ewon's heart in huge ways. He let out a tiny, pleased sigh and brought himself to open his eyes.

Paradise.

How had he gotten so lucky? He'd been expecting fun on his cruise, but this? This was something different.

"Didn't mean to wake you up." Taehyung said softly "Sorry."

"I was awake." 

"You just looked so relaxed, that's all. Peaceful."

"I was, and I still am. I just wanted to see what was going on with you. That's all."

After they'd boarded the ship and set sail again, Ewon had done dinner with Taehyung, then spent the rest of the night in his own room, alone and recuperating from what had been a steamy day out on the beach. He remembered Taehyung's mouth on his , and how hard he'd been when Taehyung had talked dirty to him. had never been so good before. But as much as Ewon wanted more, he knew that he shouldn't overdo it. What he had with Taehyung wasn't permanent, and if he got too attached...

Who was he kidding? He already was attached. There was no sense in denying it.

"Well, I'm over here enjoying the sun, and thinking about how much I want you." Taehyung said brightly "But right now, I think what I'm the most glad for is that we get to spend time together. You're making this cruise really special for me, and I appreciate it."

"I feel the same way." Ewon squeezed his hand "Yesterday was...something else. I still can't believe I managed to walk back to the ship."

"I half carried you."

"You let me lean on you. There's a difference." 

Taehyung laughed "Okay. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit...but come on. It's fun. It was a good time, and I'm really happy we got to share it."

Ewon let his head rest on the chair's cushion again. He closed his eyes. As happy as he was about finding Taehyung, and about all they'd done together so far, there was an undercurrent of sadness to his thoughts. They were about halfway through the cruise already. Soon enough, they'd be going home and leaving each other, likely never to meet again.

Ewon didn't like the thought of that.

He knew that he hadn't been looking for something serious when he'd come here - and that something serious was a bad idea for that very reason. But his heart wasn't exactly interested in listening to what his brain said. At least, when it came to Taehyung, it wasn't.

And it wasn't fair.

Ewon didn't want to go home. He'd found happiness here, and it was heartbreaking to think that after such a good time, he'd have to go back to where he couldn't be himself, and where he was alone. The day after Taehyung had spent the night in his bed and hadn't run, never to see him again, had been a turning point...but it wasn't enough to save a relationship that couldn't be. There was nothing that would hold them together once the cruise was over. Ewon didn't even know where Taehyung lived. He hadn't thought to ask. 

"So, what are we doing today?" Taehyung asked "More lounging about until lunch, and then something else? We're not docking again for a while, right? So whatever it is, it'll have to be on the ship."

"We could go to a show." Ewon suggested "Or we could bum around on deck and meet people. Are you a people person?"

"I am the people-iest people person you'll ever meet, but I'm not sure that I'm too interested in meeting tons of other people. It's going to sound selfish of me, but I don't think I want to share you."

"No, I get it." Ewon smiled. It was a little selfish, but he felt the same way "That's fine. We don't have to do anything social. We can keep to ourselves. I don't mind."

"You're not upset you're not networking?"

"Nah. My goal was to get myself to open up, and...well, I did. So, mission accomplished. This cruise is a success."

A success, and then some. Having with Taehyung had satisfied a deep part of Ewon and erased all the stress he'd been harboring without even knowing it. Hiding who he was had taken its toll on his subconscious, and now that he didn't have to worry about public displays of affection, or hitting on the wrong man, or even letting his eyes linger a moment too long on the wrong person, he was at peace. 

"So, then, here's what I propose." Taehyung squeezed his hand back "We lounge around and soak up the sun until lunch. It gives us a chance to wake up and get ready for the rest of the day. After that, there's a movie going on in the theater, you know, the one with those big recliner chairs? I say we head inside together, grab some chairs, and snuggle up. I don't know what the movie is, but I don't really care. I doubt there'll be too many people there. I figure people are going to want to be outside today. The weather, and the view, is amazing."

"So we're going to hide away inside and hiss at the sunlight." Ewon laughed.

Taehyung joined him in laughter "Well, I mean, we got out this morning. I don't know about you, but after yesterday's swim, and this morning's sunbathing, I think I might be sunned out. There will be other great days. I heard the forecast is supposed to be clear."

"Great."

"So...movie. Then, we can re-evaluate our afternoon. We'll have a few hours left to go before dinner. Sound good?"

"Sounds amazing."

"Then it's settled." Taehyung stretched his free arm over his head and yawned. Ewon sneaked a look in his direction. He was wearing tight little Speedos he'd failed to bring on their trip to the beach the other day. It gave Ewon a great view "Do you want me to let go of your hand so you can go back to zoning out?"

"No. I like this." Ewon smiled. He liked all of this...and he was going to have to deal with the fallout later. For now, he allowed himself to be swept up in his whirlwind of a spring fling romance "As long as you're good with it, I'd like to keep going."

"Me, too."

Ewon got the feeling Taehyung didn't just mean holding hands. He blushed. He was in over his head, and he didn't know how to get back to the surface...and really, he wasn't sure he wanted to.

There were all of three other couples in the theater. Taehyung guided him to a secluded spot, and Ewon curled up in his armchair, put the footrest up, and reached for Taehyung's hand as soon as Taehyung had settled. Taehyung draped himself over the chair, crowding onto Ewon's side, and took his hand. Their arms were entwined.

"Did you look at the showing list posted on the door before we came in?" Ewon asked. The lights were dimmed, but the movie had yet to start "I'm really good with anything, but I'm curious. I heard from someone that they were playing a lot of gay asian movies, wich I find weird 'cause so many of them end with someone dying, or the relationship not working out, or whatever awfully depressing scenario that happens that I've kind of become disillusioned with them."

"Oh, really? I don't know. I'm more into wester so I didn't even think to look." Taehyung kissed the side of his head "If you're not into it, then we'll just have to find a way to distract you from what's happening on the screen...I wonder if I can figure out a way."

Ewon scoffed "Okay, I know you're a horndog, but we're in public now. There are other people in the room. You are not going to put your hand down my pants."

"We'd be the best "asian" movie anyone could hope for." Taehyung winked "How's that for an asian  gay movie with "happy ending"?"

"You're terrible."

"But you're laughing." 

Ewon was. He rolled his eyes and shook his head "I'm not putting on a live o for the other people in the room. Sorry. You're going to have to try something else."

"But this is our one shot, isn't it?" Taehyung asked "We're on this cruise, and when's the next time we're going to have an opportunity like this? You said this is your chance to get comfortable with yourself, right? To come out of your shell?"

"I'm not sure coming out of my shell and having public in front of strangers is the same thing." Ewon said playfully. He didn't get the impression that Taehyung was trying to force him into anything - in fact, he got the opposite. There was always an undercurrent of playfulness in everything they said and did "I'm going to have to pass on this opportunity. I'll make it up next time we find some dolphins to swim with, or sand to walk across, or stones to skip out into the ocean."

"Boooring."

Ewon jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow. Taehyung laughed "Am not!"

"I know. You're not. I'm teasing you." Taehyung looked at him with adoration "I'm having a good time no matter what we choose to do. And even if you became a total hermit and didn't want to go out and swim with the dolphins, or risk getting eaten by sharks by swimming in an unsanctioned area, or even if you wanted to risk skin parasites by walking across the sand barefoot, I'd be okay with that. It just feels...nice...when I'm with you. I don't know how else to put it."

Nice was a really great way to describe it. Great, but not perfect. What Ewon felt was more than nice. It was wonderful, marvelous, and breathtaking. It made him feel like every moment was more important than the last. He let loose with a contented sigh and rested his head against Taehyung's shoulder "I think I understand." 

"Do you?" Taehyung kissed the top of his head. It made Ewon's heart sing "I wonder if we do feel the same things...if it's a bond we share, and that the emotion is the same, or if it feels different for each of us. I wish I knew."

"Does it feel like pins and needles on the inside?" Ewon asked "Or like a kind of...strange, tight, inward feeling? Like your chest is going to curl into itself, and you're all hollow and light on the inside?"

"Yeah." Taehyung kissed him again "That's actually a really great way to describe it."

"Then I think it's a bond we share." Ewon said softly "I think it's something we both feel simultaneously...something that we feel with equal intensity."

"." Taehyung grinned. Ewon felt his lips disturb his hair "Well, I guess that leaves me with some questions, then. Primarily, how are you keeping yourself from being all over me? Because my instinct when I feel this way is to make you mine in every way I can, over and over again. I want to make you feel good."

"And I want that, too...but I also don't like the idea of being arrested for indecent exposure." Ewon laughed. The lights dimmed further, and he glanced toward the screen to see that something had started to project upon it from the back of the room. He didn't recognize the movie from its soundtrack or from the first few scenes, but he was impressed there were no ads. They must have already been skipped in the projection room "We'll have plenty of time together."

"I'm counting on it. We've still got four days. I guess we don't want to burn out on each other too soon."

A pang of regret soured Ewon's mood. He closed his eyes and tried to recover from it. The last thing he wanted to remember was that they were only together for a short period of time. It hurt him to think that one day soon, he'd go home without Taehyung.

"Yeah." he said at last "Plenty of time."

The movie started, and they said nothing more.