“Tonight has to be perfect! I cannot screw up, yes?!”

“YES!”

“I can’t hear you!”

“YES, SEUNGWAN!”

Yeri has her arms crossed over her chest with an irritated look on her face, eyes darting between the two women standing in front of her. She did not wake up early for this mess everyone refers to as best friends; her beauty sleep should be more important. This isn’t even a first wedding anniversary or first-born’s birthday party, neither is it a celebration they’re even going to be involved in directly. It’s pretty funny from an outsider’s point of view though, seeing the two best friends behave like two children at a summer camp. Yeri might be the youngest and she hasn't experienced as many things as her members have, but the strength of her emotional and mental state is remarkable. She gives everyone so much love when sometimes all she receives in return is hatred and pain. 

“You got this, Wannie.” Seulgi suddenly grabs her best friend by the shoulders, staring at the woman with so much passion in her eyes. She looks almost in love with her, for crying out loud. “Unnie is definitely going to love you even more, maybe pounce on you too!”

The blunt admission makes Wendy knees tremble already; it’s not every day this kind of language escapes their teddy bear’s mouth so it clearly shows what kind of influence Joy has on her. Knowing the members inside out for so many years, Wendy knows every single one of their behaviours and how big the influence could be on others. One of the best examples is Wendy herself being influenced by her wife, the habits of bustling around so much even when there's no need to. 

“Why are you so nervous anyway, Unnie?”

From a normal person's perspective, Wendy’s actions do look a tad bit ridiculous because she still turns into a nervous wreck whenever she thinks about her wife coming home to her surprise. She might have spent a bit too much on planning this event, especially with the catering and pre-planning. Irene might or might not like it, since she doesn’t believe in overspending money for tiny events like this. Irene hasn’t really said anything directly about not appreciating her efforts but Wendy can tell what the latter feels from the expression on her face. I mean, Irene is her wife after all, it’s no wonder Wendy knows instantly what Irene feels. Even before they started dating, for goodness’ sakes, it was always easier for the both of them to deduce each other's feelings. 

Wendy slumps onto the sofa, resting her chin on her palms. She doesn’t have a very good feeling about tonight, for some reason. There is a sinking sensation in her tummy at the thought of them being alone without their baby tonight. This is fairly new to her, considering she has never felt this insecure about her own plans before.

“I’m just not feeling too positive about tonight. I don’t know why or how, I just can’t understand this.” Wendy tries to gesture what in the world she’s feeling, yet she knows that none of them will understand. When she can’t put it into words, that’s when it gets a bit tough. “Nevermind, I’ll get over it soon.”

Yeri finally speaks up for the first time. She doesn't like seeing the lost gaze in Wendy's eyes; not when she's usually one of the most clear-headed.  “Unnie, we’re here for you, and we got your back. You need to start speaking up, so we can do something more to help you out. It’s been so many years, Unnie, please – we are not the same helpless people.”

The thing is…

Wendy doesn’t know what the feeling is at all.  

||

“Unnie, you look….”

“Fat.”

Joy facepalms at the straight answer she gets, because that’s not the response she was expecting at all. She was planning to shower the leader with praises for looking exceptionally beautiful even after giving birth but Irene seems to have a knack for putting herself down. Does she even know how pretty she truly is? It's like the years of praise and love everyone has given Irene never entered her brain in the first place, that's why her insecurity still shows so obviously sometimes. The only reason why Irene never says it when Wendy is around is because they know Wendy will throw a fit for sure, going off at her own wife about how she should never say things like that. It's comical to them when it happens, but not for Irene or Wendy because it really causes some fights from time to time.

“I was going to say beautiful.”

“Oh…” Irene mumbles sheepishly, cheeks being tinted slightly. She starts examining her figure in the mirror, running her hands down the lines of her sides. Her waist hasn’t gone back to its complete glory and neither has her curves, it naturally has her feeling a tiny bit insecure. “Sorry, Sooyoung. I know you mean well.”

The short period of silence is broken by a baby's loud wail, and Joy watches as Irene scrambles to the baby pram to pacify her daughter. She knows the motherly instincts that their leader has, and always had from a younger age. It's also one of the reasons why Joy would never accept anyone else as a potential leader among the five of them; Irene is fair and objective to everyone equally. Everyone knows Irene's traits and personality very well but seeing Irene with her daughter now, right in front of her very eyes, Joy feels a new sense of admiration and envy for the woman. Unlike some idols who have not matured well or became completely different people once cameras were off, Irene maintained her stance and becomes a wonderful mother of her own children too.

“Aw, you miss your Mama?” Irene coos, the gaze in her eyes soften beyond belief whenever she looks at her baby. She finds herself getting especially emotional as and when she sees her wife in their daughter. “I miss your Mama a lot more. She's been very distant lately and it's worrying me so much.”

No matter how sharp Irene can be, she fails to spot the sparkling twinkle in Joy’s eyes. The only thing that drives Irene extremely mad this time is how her wife is clearly hiding something from her but no one else is saying anything and it’s a bit scary. Irene isn't used to being in shadows about anything, more so because her wife can't lie to save her own life. Now that Wendy is actually doing something with all their members knowing except herself is a bit... suspicious.

“Don’t worry, Unnie… she misses you too.”

Irene pouts, finally standing back up when her baby is peacefully on her pacifier. She plops herself beside Joy, leaning against the giant maknae like a roly-poly. Throughout their activities as a group, the two of them have probably shared the least amount of public affection with each other because they never really get to see each other at home on a similar schedules too. For the first few years, it had been a bit rough because Irene didn't know how Joy was doing at filming and Joy wasn't aware of how worried Irene had been for her. The lack of communication caused a bit of a distance but the reality shows and lack of schedules following the filming gave Irene more opportunities to check on the second youngest. No matter how explosive Joy's personality might look from the outside or to non-fans, she is still at a very tender age with a mere two-year between herself and Yeri. 

 Sliding her arm to link it with Joy’s, Irene pushes the pram just lightly enough for her darling daughter to hopefully fall asleep again. She knows that when the tiny toddler is in one of her moods, she doesn’t fall asleep until she sees Wendy holding her.

“Sooyoung, how are you and Seulgi doing? Everything okay and going according to plan?” Irene asks; she knows the kind of plan that the younger ones are trying to follow. A part of her wants to tell them that nothing will go according to their original plans but she knows everyone is different.

“Well…” Joy feels a sense of hesitation in her; she has no clue why but she can feel a change in her wife nowadays. “I think it’s because we didn’t want… sort of, get carried away, Seul doesn’t want to…”

“Huh?”

The pinkish blush that paints Joy’s cheeks dutifully confuses Irene; they’re not even talking about anything that’s out of the parental guidance sector. She stares at the taller woman with a curious expression, wondering why in the world the sentences aren’t being spoken coherently or in a proper sentences. This is probably what puzzles the members from time to time - the innocence Irene possesses despite seeming like an absolute independent, clever woman. Joy’s obvious embarrassment doesn’t seem to spell it clearer enough for Irene though, judging by the lack of response coming from her. She crosses one leg over the other, adjusting her skirt nicely while Joy gets her together.

“AIGOO! She doesn’t want to have with me!”

Irene’s eyes widen in shock, instinctively striking the tall woman on her arm repeatedly. She did not expect something like that to be the answer. If she did, she probably wouldn't have wanted to know in the first place. “Yah! Watch your language here, Park Sooyoung! My baby is sleeping!”

The corners of Joy’s lips tilt downwards immediately, rubbing her arm tenderly. She can’t even hide the frustration that’s bubbling inside of her, whether in or out of bed. It’s been far too long since Seulgi has initiated some sort of intimacy or anything similar. For a pair that's pretty active in terms of their bedroom activities, can anyone blame Joy for feeling a tiny bit insecure? Furthermore, it used to be Seulgi simply accepting her advances and whatnot without hesitation but nowadays, it feels as if Seulgi is deliberately coming back home late so she wouldn't have to face Joy. Of course Joy is going to be upset about this; their marriage is on the rocks, for God's sake. As far as she knows, the schedule at the company should be lighter because another choreographer and dance instructor has just been hired.

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m just… sad.”

“Of course, Sooyoung.” Irene feels terrible for reacting like that right away, taking the younger woman’s hand into her own. She wants to tell her that there’s nothing to worry about and whatnot but who knows what Seulgi could be thinking?

With a reassuring smile from Irene, Joy decides not to waste the wonderful day they have together by worrying so much. For all she knows, Seulgi might be trying to plan some sort of surprise for her too. If the cold weather doesn’t kill her first, the paranoia will before she even knows it.

“We both know how much that woman loves you, no matter how bad she is at showing it. Oblivious is one word to describe it, but there is a possibility that she’s trying to control herself. Be patient with her and remember she loves you more than anything in this world, okay?”

Joy doesn’t give a response, simply taking hold of the stroller instead. She patiently waits for Irene to make her purchases, her mind filling with a mountain of thoughts and her heart a rush of emotions. She’s afraid, but she’s trying really hard to have some faith in her wife. After a few years, Seulgi has managed to finally make Joy have a hundred percent trust in her; it was a terrible process but one with many learning points, which makes it worth every single argument they've ever had. Even the stubborness that Joy possesses allows her to admit that she gave Seulgi a pretty difficult time when they were living together. To put it frankly, Joy is surprised Seulgi could even last that long. Her doubts didn’t vanish, not even when she was walking down the aisle to join Seulgi at the altar. Yes, perhaps it’s weird to get married when you’re unsure of your decisions but look at where they turned out.

Reaching down to rub at the baby’s chubby cheek, the smile on Joy’s face becomes wider. She wants to have some kids of their own so badly that it physically hurts to even dream of it now. There’s nothing more they both want than to start a family together.

“I can’t wait to give you a little friend,” Joy whispers, sighing at the possibilities of them being wonderful parents. She just wants to talk to her wife about this properly, without any of them getting emotional because nothing would work that way. “Hopefully, your Auntie Seulgi won’t keep avoiding me first. I can't even start a conversation if she keeps coming home so late.”

“Come on, let’s go!”

The conversation already ended but Irene can’t help worrying about what the younger woman might be thinking at this moment. She knows the latter tends to overthink a fair bit, unfortunately. It might or might not cause some more disagreements and misunderstandings within their marriage; nothing good will be able to come out of it. It’s not safe to keep venturing on the border between trust and mistrust – Joy has overstepped her boundaries a fair bit. Who knows? Seulgi might just get up and leave their apartment. When that happens, Joy will truly regret it for the rest of her life. They've been married for a couple of years now so there shouldn't be any room for that kind of doubt to be present. It’s not only going to hurt Seulgi’s feelings, it’s also going to ruin any chances of having a family together.

Irene tilts her head lightly, silently observing the way Joy tries to take care of her daughter. She doesn’t know why they aren’t having kids yet because the way she sees it, Joy is perfectly capable of being a mother. The amount of love and care that Joy has for kids and animals alike; it's more than enough proof of her kind heart. 

“You know,” Irene starts off cautiously, not wanting to risk angering the taller woman. This topic shouldn’t be brought up so easily, and definitely not in a casual manner lest it comes off offensive. “I think you and Seulgi would be great parents, as long as you two can manage your time properly.”

Can they really?

As they make their way towards the nearest baby shop, Irene freezes when she sees someone very familiar. She never showed her displeasure before but there always seems to be an aggravating feeling inside of her whenever this person appears. Call her over-sensitive, but Irene can’t seem to stop herself from feeling that way either.

“Let’s turn around.”

“What? Why—”

“SUNBAENIM!”

Joy quite literally gulps when she sees the reason for Irene’s sudden change of mind. She knows how oddly angry Irene gets when this particular person comes into sight. Their members aren’t the only people who are aware of this too, there have been several memes made by their fans. If Irene herself or Wendy (the cause of it) doesn’t even know, the other members are aware of it. Some of the memes are used whenever they get bored or want some reaction from Irene – it’s a lot funnier when Irene consciously tells them not to show it to Wendy. What Irene doesn’t have a clue about is that Yeri already spilled all the beans during the following year’s athletics championship. To say that it took Wendy by surprise is a complete understatement; everyone knows she can be a tiny bit oblivious too.

“Hi, Sejeong-unnie!”

The said woman flashes one of her eyesmiles, unaware of the murderous aura radiating off the older one. All she caught sight of was the baby pram in front of the two, and Sejeong couldn’t hold back her coos. She knows her close friend had a daughter but they never really had the opportunity to meet up yet. Wendy has been busier than usual, trying to manage her business on both sides.

“Irene-unnie, is this your baby? God, she’s so cute!”

No matter what Irene wants to say because of her jealousy, she isn’t going to pretend her daughter isn’t the cutest baby in the world. There is a sense of pride when speaking about their precious Seunghyun too – and no, she doesn’t give a whether people think it’s masculine name. 

“Yes. Anyone related to Seungwan is cute.”

The laughter bubbling in Joy’s gut is threatening to spill out, unable to believe how straightforward Irene can be to someone who’s clearly not aware of the invisible rivalry between them. There is a level of pettiness that Irene shows pretty clearly, and she isn’t embarrassed about it in the least. Even as a mother of a baby turning two real soon, Irene’s streak of jealousy doesn’t fall short off teenagers these days. Between Wendy and Irene, the maturity in Wendy was a greater jump for sure and she now behaves like a natural mother. It’s a fairly positive sign for their relationship, because she now knows how to handle their problems a lot more positively and in a way that reduces the pain for both sides. Unlike before where Irene had to try and break down Wendy’s walls just to have a conversation after a fight, Wendy does it a lot more often without initiation.

Irene’s expression softens when she feels a nudge in her ribs, sighing when she imagines her wife’s disappointment if she finds out. Wendy hates conflict after all, especially when it’s over mere jealousy. Gritting her teeth and swallowing it down, Irene looks up with a genuine smile. 

“Have you met up with Seungwan since then?”

“Nope, unfortunately,” Sejeong mutters, her eyes still fixated on the ball of happiness sleeping peacefully in the pram. She can see the resemblance of her friend and it makes her heart warm. “Your daughter is going to grow into a pretty girl, Unnie. For sure.”

The conversation was thankfully revolving around their daughter only, because Irene would most likely combust if the young one ever brought up her wife. She is doing a decent job of hiding and maintaining her jealousy after all; there has to be some credit given to her. Perhaps if Wendy was here to actually witness this for herself, she would be able to applaud her wife for being so calm. The whipped side of Wendy might not be able to even convey a message across without stuttering though. Several times, the members are present when Wendy wants to compliment or apologize for something and her panic always becomes more visible. The light blush that covers Wendy’s face and neck is an obvious sign that saying things to Irene directly still gets her nervous, which is both endearing but sad at the same time.

Just as Sejeong takes her leave, Irene feels her phone begin to vibrate. She almost combusts with excitement when she spots her wife's contact name appear at the top of a new message. Why does Wendy have such terribly (good) timing when it comes to cu