Eight

Tit For Tat
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IRENE

 

I wonder over and over again.

There have been so many instances where I could have done better as a friend, a leader. If I couldn't be there for her as a friend or girlfriend, my duties as a leader shouldn't have failed too. While Seungwan is a pretty conservative and secretive person, she definitely isn't the same towards me. Hints were dropped and constantly staring in my face from time to time... My own girlfriend. My precious baby was the heartbroken one in the end, even though I promised I wouldn’t hurt her. When Seungwan yelled at me that she believed me that night, I should have noticed something was wrong already. I took her word for her it and pretended to be aloof so things could go back to normal again.

“Bae Joohyun, you are still the fool you’ve always been.”

“Really? I don't think so.”

My entire body tenses up visibly – I know that voice anywhere; I know it like the back of my hand. It is the same voice I thought I’d never hear again, talking to me in particular. It belongs to a person who never liked to hear about their relationship because she thought I was corrupting their daughter. The last time I heard from Seungwan's sister, her mother's mentality had changed a fair bit but Seungwan refused to talk to the elder woman. I tried repeatedly to explain to her the importance of being close with her mother, especially but Seungwan didn't want to listen. As her girlfriend of only a few months then, I didn't want to push her too hard because she already had enough things on her plate. 

With a gulp, I try my best to stop my hands from trembling as I look up. I feel a blood rush to my head straight away when I see the person I don’t expect to appear in my life ever again. My heart is always filled with guilt whenever I think about how I'm partly responsible for the state of Seungwan's relationship with her mother. 

“A-Auntie…”

There is an unreadable expression on Mrs Son’s face; she used to be very welcoming to all of us, including me, until she found out about our relationship. She always made amazing food for us, reminded us to take care our health before anything. Although she didn't come by as often as our parents, her actions showed that her love wasn't any less. Whether it was in the meals she prepared or her calls... Mrs Son loved us all the same. My girls could have continued receiving all that love and concern showered upon them but because of our relationship, all five of us lost the love of a mother. Ever since then, I've never seen Mrs Son in front of me anymore; not that it surprises me, of course.

“Hi, Joohyun.”

I am just about certain that she’s here to murder me, considering I landed her daughter in the hospital. This is the same woman who practically stopped caring about her daughter because of me. There isn’t a high chance of her actually not biting my head off, and I can't even bolt from here because I haven't even the entire day.

“I heard what happened from Yerim already,” Mrs Son states, her tone still a tiny bit undecipherable for me to be able to tell her mood. She turns to look at me but I don’t have anything to say. “I also know that you’ve been ill-treating yourself because of this. I don’t want your health to be at risk either.”

“I deserve it.”

It’s just facts – how can I bother about myself when the only person who I’ve loved more than anyone else in the world is lying on a hospital bed, trying to avoid me with all her might? Just thinking of that, my heart aches like a  whenever I think about how Seungwan pretended not to be able to speak because she doesn’t want to talk to me or anyone else. Instead of our own members, Seungwan chooses to be a hundred percent honest with Taeyeon-unnie, even speaking to her like her vocal chords are perfectly fine... I'm not blaming her, partially because I don't have a right to and also, she's been there for Seungwan throughout this entire painful, horrifying ordeal. 

Mrs Son chuckles beside me, a sound I didn’t think could escape her lips when I’m around. She crosses her arms over her chest, turning her entire body to face me. Her eyebrows are knitted and there’s a somewhat pitiful gaze in her eyes.

“My daughter did not fall for you without reason, huh?”

 

“Y-You… You let Umma s-speak to I-Irene alone?”

Mr Son nods innocently, grabbing an apple from the fruit hamper on the table. He knows how unreasonable his wife can be sometimes but this time is going to be different. When she initially told him that she wanted to apologize to both their daughter and Irene, the amount of doubt he held inside was remarkable. If it wasn’t because of the teary eyes and cracked voice, he probably wouldn’t have given in to her demands either. Call him stupid or anything else but Mr Son is a man; a man who loves woman and wants to make her over the moon too. He will answer to the consequences if there are any, make it up to Irene if needed too. 

Wendy groans, slamming her body back down onto the bed in absolute frustration at her father's revelation. She held back a squeak of pain, trying to pretend that whole show of strength was completely intentional. Even if she swears that she is nowhere near forgiving Irene yet, the fact that her mother (who hates Irene to the core) is talking to her right now.... it will be chaos if no one intervenes soon. 

“T-That wasn’t s-smart…”

Ignoring her father’s warnings, Wendy struggles to get up from bed without certain parts of her body aching. She might not be on speaking terms with Irene yet but what she’s not going to do is subject her to all that crazy questioning. Honestly, which is worse? Knowing Irene is going to get questioned and blamed by the woman who hates her or being face to face with that woman she calls mother again. Wendy is supposed to be in a coma. If her suicide attempt doesn't make her remain that way, her mother's appearance alone most likely will. 

“Woah, where do you think you’re going?!”

“W-What…?”

Wendy watches with eyes the size of her ceramic plates at home, as Irene helps her back into bed. She doesn’t expect the leader to come here with dry eyes, especially since her mother has a knack for making either of them cry the moment she opens . Irene can't possibly be having a calm conversation with her after talking to her mother. Irene knows Wendy is staring at her like a fish out of water but that doesn’t matter currently; she needs to put Wendy back in bed so the latter can get the sufficient rest she needs. If Wendy wants to get mad at her for laying a hand on her body then by all means, but only after Irene is sure she gets her much needed rest. 

Mr and Mrs Son finally stand together in front of the bed, their eyes having nothing but tenderness as they gaze over at the pair – the way Irene takes care of Wendy is so special. The simultaneous actions Irene does even as Wendy tries to stop her doesn't escape their eyes. It isn't easy to remain so calm and composed whilst being pushed away relentlessly. They have tried multiple times to talk to Wendy about their own mentality but she never listens. 

“I’m getting off your back in a minute, calm down,” Irene doesn’t hold back a giggle. She finds it extremely funny that Wendy already blurted out something unintentionally just now – she’s supposed to be mute until doctor says otherwise. “Once I make sure your drips are fine, I will stop touching you.”

There's a sullen, almost sulky expression of a scolded toddler on Wendy's face, watching uncomfortably as Irene continues to tuck her in like a baby... the same way she does when she finds Wendy sleeping without the covers on in their bed. She doesn't want to be this close to Irene for a reason: it's staring at her in the face. Irene's presence has the power to make her knees buckle and her brain to malfunction. It's only going to make Wendy cave sooner, which isn't fair to her at all because she doesn't want Irene to get away so easily. Of course, others might say that Wendy doesn't have to forgive the latter if she really doesn't want to but they don't understand how her heart responds naturally to Irene.

Irene makes good of her word and pulls away from Wendy, standing straight to her full height. She hides the stabbing sensation in her chest fairly well, but Wendy’s concerned gaze does not escape her sharp eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Knowing that Wendy is not supposed to be talking just as the doctor told the members, Mrs Son thinks she can do something to make it up to her precious daughter for a start. She unwraps her husband’s arm around her waist and stands on the other side of the bed, smiling involuntarily when she sees Wendy gulp. 

“She thought you were getting scolded by me outside so she's a little worried,” Mrs Son says. It hurts her to actually realize that her daughter can no longer trust her around the members lest she says something mean or offensive. “I’m actually glad we got to talk outside, Joohyun. It was a much needed conversation, right?”

Truthfully, the entire conversation gave Irene more worries and pressure to be a better person for both Wendy and the younger ones but nonetheless, she received advice and the concern she didn’t know she needed till now. Her parents aren't even in Korea because they're overseas with her younger sister in Prague, a place with gorgeous scenery; Irene is not going to ruin their vacation for them. While she can’t make it to bring them for a vacation, her sister is doing it for her. Of course, Irene won’t bother trying to tell them what happened back home. Telling them also means getting them both involved into this mess and making use of Wendy's extremely soft spot for her parents. 

If Wendy eventually chooses to forgive her and give her another shot, then it wouldn't be because of Irene's efforts alone. She doesn't want that at all; their relationship is just going to remain as weak as ever without their parents' interference. 

“Honey,” Mr Son laughs a little at the awkward atmosphere, pulling his wife back to his side. He knows the relationship between her and Irene are no longer tense but the discomfort on Irene’s face is still there. “You’re going to scare her off before she even gets to talk to Wannie.”

A low growl escapes Wendy, displeased at how her father just called her with that endearment in front of Irene. She can’t remember the last time her birth name was used in the dorm, and it feels so unfamiliar to hear it again. Whenever Irene used her birth name back home when only the members were around, it used to give Wendy a warm feeling surrounding her heart. It was something special, sacred even; . Now it's like an irreversible scar imprinted upon her heart instead of the usual electrical current that charges through her veins continuously. The terrifying, banging sensation in her chest is still there, perhaps it won't ever leave until Irene is nowhere near her again. 

“Don’t worry, Auntie, Uncle.” Irene swoops in smoothly, pretending she doesn’t see the look of horror on Wendy’s face. She knows just exactly what Wendy is thinking of and she is going to go ahead with it. “I will take care of Seungwan while you two get some coffee downstairs. I think the girls are at the café.”

No matter how obvious Wendy’s desperation to not be left alone with Irene is, her parents don’t want her to take the easy way out by choosing to remain silent. She needs the rest indeed, but her condition isn’t as series as the doctor made the members think it is – it was all engineered so that Wendy wouldn’t need to pretend that everything was okay. If Irene is willing to do this much for Wendy although she's constantly being shunned like the plague, she deserves more than just a second chance. 

“I’m holding you to that.”

“Of course, Auntie.”

The knife-slicing silence that engulfs the pair immediately after the older folks leave the room is sickening, almost causing Irene to leave right away. Irene finally turns to face Wendy, nearly getting scared out of her own skin when her eyes meet a stone-cold gaze. If glares could kill a person, Irene would be buried underground by now; her coffin still being destroyed by none other than Wendy herself. There is no reason why Wendy would want to even see Irene in the flesh when she specifically told her to get lost, in a much nicer manner. 

“Looks like you can’t get rid of me yet.”

Now, Irene isn’t usually this thick-skinned and intentionally annoying, but she knows the circumstances call for it. Wendy has been through too much and came out traumatized; the trauma might or might not ever be cured. Irene can’t erase everything that happened overnight but she’s going to try her darn hardest to make up for all of that. It might take months, years, but she will do it. Wendy might look as if she hates having Irene around and she wants nothing more than to get rid of her, but her actions don't always match her words. Just like how Wendy said she didn't care about Irene or whatever they had before, but she was ready to get out of bed to stop her mother from speaking to Irene. 

Wendy is not pleased about this arrangement that she had no say in, but she’s relived to know that neither her mother nor Irene spat any unpleasant words at each other during their definition of a conversation. She too has heard how Irene copes with grief during this entire hospital confinement, which tugs at her heartstrings consistently.

“I know you can speak a little bit, Wannie… you don’t have to pretend that you can’t anymore. I won’t tell the rest, I... I promise.” Irene seemingly chokes up, finding it increasingly difficult to say anything more. She knows the situation is all on her shoulders, and she has no right to complain. “If you want me to stop talking, just let me know. I will be here silently – I couldn’t before because I was an insensitive – but not anymore.”

A rough bite on Irene's lower lip, eyebrows meeting in the middle, and then a sniffle follows right after. These gestures come very familiar to Wendy, who's sitting on the bed with nothing short of a cold gaze. Irene shakes her head, feeling completely apologetic for crying so easily. “I’m sorry… excuse me for a while.” Irene doesn’t dare to look at Wendy in the eye, scrambling to the toilet before a single tear can fall; any longer outside and she might just break down in front of her love. She slams the door shut, limbs losing all their strength as she collapses into a heap right behind the door.  

Wendy’s eyes follow Irene’s frame all the way till the door slammed shut, she never meant to break Irene on the inside. She knows this will tear their relationship apart but hurting another person irreversibly is unforgiveable. Who is she kidding anyway? Get over Irene? As if. It's absolutely impossible, the way she sees it. Maybe in the next life, just maybe, Wendy will work harder to fall in love with somebody else but it will not be now. Some say she deserves so much better, some say second chances can be given. Both kinds of people don’t understand one thing: Wendy doesn’t have control over how her emotions run, plus her heart has a mind of its own when it comes to Irene. 

“Damn it…”

Her legs swing off the bed, sitting at the edge of it. Wendy swallows nervously; she hasn’t walked since she’s been lying in bed and it’s been over two weeks… what if she finds out that she can’t walk? Nevertheless, Wendy is not going to leave Irene alone in the bathroom; the last time she was in one… well.

Knock, knock.

“A-Are you o-okay?”

Even at saddening, heart-wrenching times like now, Irene still feels her heart skip several beats when she hears Wendy’s mellow voice. She smiles tearfully; despite the tiny stutters and cracks in between some words, Wendy’s voice still serves as music to her ears. A part of her wonders why people choose not to acknowledge Wendy's amazing talent; everyone pretends Wendy is disposable among all the members and intentionally undermine her abilities in front of others. Another part of her also wishes they had said something about all of that when it happened; Wendy's self-confidence was also damaged because of the constant putting her down. 

Wendy mistakes the silence for something else and she tries to open the door, her arms still trying to find a bit of strength. She can feel her muscles aching from standing there for a few minutes only but there is no way in hell Irene is staying in there.

“A-Are you going t-to come o-out?”

Noticing the albeit fearful tone in Wendy’s voice, Irene decides to get rid of Wendy’s worries first. She is not going to do anything stupid or worrisome, so she will assure Wendy first. Wendy’s condition is still not in the pink of health yet.

“A few more minutes. Please?”

With a huge sigh, Wendy carefully lets herself down, sitting with her back leaning against the other side of the door. She knows how incredibly stupid this must look but she won't be able to sit in bed when Irene is in the bathroom, probably crying her eyes out. The mere fact that Irene is revealing her tears so easily is worrying Wendy to the core (exact opposite of what Wendy said from the very beginning). Perhaps it's the different treatment Wendy always receives, she's the only one who gets to see Irene at her weakest and most vulnerable compared to the other members. And during those times, it takes a lot of persuasion for Irene to open up comfortably. 

On either side of the door sit two broken-hearted lovers, both separated by (metaphorically) their thoughts and feelings once more. They went through hell and back to get together, only for them to be torn apart a year and a few months down the road.

Fate is a mess.

 

*

 

“Things seem to be picking up for them so far… I mean Irene-unnie has been in the room for hours now and it better continue that way or else I’m going to murder the two of them on my own. The rest of us are keeping a close eye on them too.”

“You’ve done well, Sooyoung-ah… but now I want you to take care of yourself instead. I’m so worried about you.”

Joy looks up at the ceiling to hold back her tears, chuckling at her mother’s voice. She can already feel pangs of guilt banging against her chest; even when she’s not home, she manages to worry her mother somehow. Speaking of that, Joy used to call home at least twice a week to let her family know what's been going on in her life and they would usually tell them about their worries and recent activities in return. She realizes what it must have looked like; not calling home for easily more than two weeks and her family finding out what she has been up to through the news articles only. It looks like she's pretty upset with her family members, but it's the exact opposite.

“Don’t worry about me, Umma…” Joy mumbles, clutching onto the phone as if her life depends on it. She hates making people worry about her, especially her mother. “Just take care of Minji and Jiyoung w

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wenwen021 #1
chingudeul im in for a ride 😍
wndylv_eia
#2
Chapter 17: 😲😳🤭🤗🥰😍😊🤪😂🤭💗💙
wndylv_eia
#3
Chapter 16: wenreneband seunghyun so cute.😍💙💗👶
wndylv_eia
#4
Chapter 15: the angst at the beginning broke my heart but i find it necessary for how the story ended. i really lived the ending. i love how wenrene finally had their very much deserve happy ending.😊

thank you for this wonderful fic, author-nim. you're amazing.🥰💙💗
wndylv_eia
#5
Chapter 14: after 14 chapters of agony and fluff here and there, joygi are finally together. wenrene next!!!
wndylv_eia
#6
Chapter 13: i guess the angst phase of this story is finally over and focusing more on the development of wenrene and joygi's relationship. i like it a lot. :)
wndylv_eia
#7
Chapter 12: wenrenebmoments were so cute.🤭🤪💙💗
wndylv_eia
#8
Chapter 11: wenrene finally reunited.🥹💙💗
wndylv_eia
#9
Chapter 10: wendy going back to korea and irene leaving for canada. lol. eill they actually meet or not. i'm curious to find out.
wndylv_eia
#10
Chapter 9: 😭😭😭💔💔💔🥺🥺🥺❗❗❗


well, i'm just hoping that the one who called yerimie at the end of the chapter is a ctually wenwen.