“Y-Yerim...”

“Oh my God!”

Seulgi and Rose turn their heads to Yeri at once, emotions running as wild as an ostrich’s legs when they see tears gathering in the youngest’s eyes. They know Yeri has been through many more things and problems that shouldn't have to fall upon her shouders but this is the first time Yeri is starting to cry in front of someone else other than their own members. 

Without another word, Seulgi leaps to her feet and makes quick work of the distance between them. She instantly wraps an arm around Yeri’s shoulder, trying to give her comfort without having the need to open . If there is anything she has learned from Wendy over the past few years, it is to be there for a person. There is no need for talking or asking questions; just being by their side will provide some form of comfort and warmth whether they admit it or not. Although Seulgi doesn't get many chances to express that kind of comfort or love for her members due to the slight distance between them, there will always be that same soft spot that existed from the very beginning.

Yeri is practically shaking in her arms, and it’s making Seulgi worry so much. She doesn’t like that the fear is practically radiating off the young one. Yeri does not get scared easily when she has the company of so many other people. This is something out of the ordinary on so many levels; of course, it’s scary.

“U-Unnie… I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Yerim-ah. I miss you guys so much. I called the dorm too but no one picked up so I called Sooyoung… is she around?”

The ever-so-familiar sound of Wendy’s voice brings tears to both Yeri and Seulgi’s eyes; how long has it been since they’ve heard the soothing tone belonging to their hamster? Or the sincere curiosity that fills Wendy’s voice?

When the sobbing from the living room grows louder, it finally captures the attention of the members that are busy embracing each other in the bedroom. They break apart from each other, brushing their tears in the midst of soft laughter. Talk about becoming a hot mess over the same person; Irene and Joy never believed that phrase until they check themselves out right now. Irene doesn’t have a good feeling about this, for some reason. Call it a premonition or a vision, but Irene doesn’t know whether leaving the bedroom is a good idea at all. She can feel her heartbeat increase along with her stomach turning topsy-turvy, and it doesn't always mean a good thing. 

Joy, on the other hand, finds something odd already. No one calls her house because she doesn’t bother to pick up… unless it’s of course, the one person who isn’t aware of that practice – it’s none other than their precious Wendy.

“Oh my God… we have to go out, Unnie.” Joy grabs Irene by the elbow, dragging the elder woman out. She doesn’t pay heed to the soft whining and multiple questions; her brain is telling her that she’ll regret it if they stay here. “I think I know who just called.”

The sight that welcomes Joy and Irene is one to behold, actually. Imagine having two of your own members drowning in tears while another friend is sitting in the corner of the room looking like a lost child. They haven't even been in the bedroom for that long of a period; it doesn't make sense that this is the outcome after. Seeing how tightly Yeri and Seulgi are clutching the phone tells them what they need to know instantly; there is no one else they want to talk more than Wendy. The tears constantly streaming down their faces are proof enough: it is indeed the person they’ve been missing for so long.

“U-Unnie… can I pass the phone to Joohyun-unnie?”

“I… I...”

“Okay.”

“YERIM WAITTTT!!”

Before Irene can react or even get to her senses, the phone is into her hand. She stares at the device in her hand, almost as if it is the plague that has been passed onto her without fail. Her heart has been yearning for her girlfriend for multiple years now without faltering, but Irene can’t seem to believe it since it’s happening. Perhaps this whole thing tonight is a dream, or maybe hallucination even. If there is one thing Irene has taught herself these years, it is to not get hopes up lest they get destroyed overnight. Waiting for Wendy's call wasn't a hope anymore, it is now more of something that must happen regardless of the measures taken to ensure it. 

Her fingers are trembling, for God’s sake, and let’s not forget the invisible lump stuck in . She needs to be able to speak or else there isn’t going to be a point in talking, unless Wendy is willing to waste her time on the phone too.

Everyone in the living room waits with their fingers crossed, hoping for some form of interaction. It is no secret between the two groups that both Irene and Wendy had a falling out which led to an early departure. While Blackpink always tried to give support to them, their schedules were also an interference from time to time. Plus, support is difficult to give when one is touring the world and the other on major hiatus. It's certainly no help when all the media and some wayward fans try to do is throw dirt at both groups now that they're successful in securing their fanbase and position in the industry.

“Um… hello?”

Irene starts to sniffle when she hears Wendy’s honey voice; it’s been too long. She doesn’t know how long she can remain standing like this if Wendy is going to keep using this tone to talk to her. Clumsily brushing away the tears threatening to flow down her cheeks, Irene opens to respond but is welcomed with a loud sob instead.  

“U-Unnie? Are you o-okay?”

As more and more sobbing starts to fill the living room, Irene fails to realize that everyone has fled to the kitchen to give them some well-deserved privacy. She covers with her hand, hoping to stop crying when the perfect opportunity to do something about her mess of a lovelife is knocking at her door. This is not how she wants to talk to Wendy for the first time in three years; she should be showing the best part of herself, the well-improved one so their relationship could have another shot. What would Wendy think if she’s wasting both their precious time crying on the phone like this?

“Unnie, please,” Wendy mumbles, her heart aching at the crying. She called back to check on her members through Joy but ended up interacting with Yeri and Seulgi… who tossed her over to Irene. “Stop crying. I can call back another day if you want.”

Irene shakes her head frantically; she will not wait for Wendy’s call which might or might not come in multiple years to come again. She barely manages to squeeze out a soft whisper to tell Wendy that she’s calming down.

“W-Wannie…”

“Yes?”

There are so many different kinds of questions that Irene wants to ask right now but the boundaries between them are yet to be determined. She is ready to receive any kind of negative vibe or treatment from Wendy but if the latter is planning to cut contact again, Irene is not going to pull through that. Experiencing that once is more than enough; she's not stupid enough to put herself through that pain ever. Besides, Wendy might not even want her back anymore. One of the worst things that can happen is when there is no other option but to live alone without your girlfriend, but it is more heartbreaking when she left because of your actions or your irresponsibility.  

Just as Irene thinks about what to ask, she’s cut off by Wendy’s kind words – she hasn’t changed at all. Wendy is still the same old saint with a heart of gold that she’s always been, what with her honest words and warm aura.

“If you’re wondering, I’m doing just fine and my vocal chords are slowly warming up when I sing now… I… I’ve also gone for counselling, and I’m off medication now. The counsellor says I don’t need to take any more sleeping pills because my sleeping hours are regulated.”

Sleeping pills?

Counselling?

What the hell did Irene put her through during these three years?

As if putting Wendy through a suicide attempt wasn’t enough, the poor woman still underwent counselling and had to take medication on a regular basis (Wendy hates taking medicine with a passion, honestly). Irene can't imagine doing something she hates every day for three straight years. This probably strengthens the fact that the hamster won't want to be with Irene anymore; no one would want to be with a person who causes more pain than happiness. It doesn’t make sense to Irene herself, and it probably won’t to Wendy either. At this point in time, she considers herself lucky if they can be considered friends, which is good enough if they can't be lovers.

“I’m so sorry…” Irene chokes up, the guilt strangling her from the inside. It feels like a metal chain being tightened around her neck, which can’t be unlocked or untied no matter what is being done. She clutches at her chest, the indescribable sensation driving her nuts from all directions. “Oh my God… I... I’m so sorry, Seungwan.”

“No! Please don’t cry, Unnie! I… I didn’t say that to make you cry, I promise!” Wendy cries out apologetically. She called back with the intention to talk to her members but crying and sobbing wasn’t what she was gunning for. “Oh God…”

Joy palms her face when she sees Irene crying like a baby, plus sounds from the phone also displays signs of panicking from Wendy. She can literally feel herself about to nag at the two members for bringing such a terrible atmosphere to their phone call instead of expressing how much they missed each other. Imagine having one last phone call before their deaths and they're sobbing instead of thinking about their precious memories; an utter waste of resources from her perspective. Perhaps she should have been the one to take the phone instead of thinking Irene was the best person for Wendy to talk to right away.

“What is this drama we’re in?” Yeri sighs, going to the fridge to get some ice cream for herself. She already knows what’s the end of the story and it’s going to be same boring romance. “Unnie’s crying like it’s the end of the book when it is just a new chapter.”

Everyone in the kitchen turns around to look at Yeri, who is casually taking out two tubs of strawberry ice cream for herself to eat while she watches the boring drama out in the living room. Such wise words and knowledge leaving Yeri's mouth is unexpected, granted that she is pretty amazing for her age. Using such metaphors and phrases to compare with a relationship is brilliant; even the older members don't use those. This adds to another of the thousand reasons why the group will always need Yeri despite what people say; entering the group a year later simply means the older members will shower more love upon her, and that's that.

Now that Irene has finally calmed down and stopped being so nervous about this entire phone call, she finally gets the chance to listen to Wendy talk about how living back home is. It still stings a little knowing that Wendy’s definition of home has shifted, from wherever to Irene was to back home in Canada - a thousand miles away from her. 

“How are your parents?” Irene asks, remembering how they didn’t fail to comfort her. She was expecting hell from both parents, especially Mrs Son; the protectiveness over both her daughters is remarkable. “I… I, um, received some postcards from your mother over the past year. She actually started sending since you left but she got my address wrong.”

Hearing Wendy's laughter ring through her ear drums is beautiful; the mere sound of her happiness is really irreplaceable. Irene tightens her hold on the phone, as if it would make her feel close to Wendy's very being. She's just happy by hearing Wendy's voice again, knowing that the younger woman has gone through far too much. A person whose voice is their greatest charm can lose everything, except her voice. Devastating is an understatement for Wendy who persevered throughout, especially when everyone else feels the pain in their own bones. Now that Wendy is recovered and finally regaining full use of her voice, Irene wants to bask in happiness too.

“No wonder she always looks so terrified when she writes and posts letters…” Wendy shakes her head in complete disbelief; her mother, who used to hate their relationship, was actually trying to contact Irene behind her back.

“She’s changed a lot.”

“Indeed,” Wendy sighs.

The silence that follows is no longer an awkward one anymore, instead, it has become tranquil and comfortable. It reminds Irene of the silence that often engulfs them when they’re cuddling in bed, after a really… amazing time. Sometimes, she wants to speak instead but this silence also serves as a much needed short healing period. Wendy, on the other hand, prefers to have a conversation with Irene about what the latter’s been up to for the past three years. Apparently her members already know what she’s been doing thanks to her mother so she wants to know too. Besides, there are some things she's curious about; things that could change the whole landscape of this. 

Wendy bites onto her fingernail, hesitating to ask the questions that are filling her list one by one. She knows very well that if Irene can’t answer, the phone call is going to go down the drain. Just by the short conversation that has already passed, Wendy can tell that Irene has not changed that much either. 

“U-Um… how are you?”

Irene takes a moment to think for herself; her life isn’t completely fantastic, but it hasn’t been all bad either. She managed to resolve all her problems with their two maknaes, learnt to understand their sides of the story. Most of all, finally solidify whatever friendship she and Seulgi have established for themselves with no crossing of borders and lines anymore. 

“I could be better… I just, I just really miss having you here with me. I want to be taken care of and I want to be loved again.”

This is it.

This is really the end of it. 

Waiting for a mere reply feels longer than it has ever been, but Irene doesn't want to complain this time. She's actually waiting for a favourable reply instead of being turned down straight away. 

“I miss you too.”

*

When was the last time Irene could breathe to her full potential?

Or when was the last time Irene could actually appreciate the outdoors instead of thinking about what could have been if Wendy didn’t leave?

Better yet, when was the last time the three of them have seen Irene actually smiling and laughing as if nothing could go wrong? It's been far too long since their leader has given up on finding some bits of happiness in this pathetic world. Ever since the phone call with Wendy two nights ago, Irene hasn't stopped displaying her cheerful disposition. They can only hope for two things: one, Irene to stop cooking so much food, they've been eating enough to last a month of hibernation. Two, for Irene to stop making them watch lovey-dovey, romance movies whenever they're all in the same room (which is always because they've been staying over at Joy's apartment regardless of her opinion). 

“Oh my goodness, Unnie,” Joy sighs, staring at the huge spread of food again. She already has so much leftovers in her fridge; the food is going to make her stay at home so she can finish it all. “You're going to cook enough to provide food for an entire country at this rate.”

Irene shrugs, smiling cutely at her members. She doesn't know why her emotions are on high right now; Wendy isn't even here with them. Where is the big deal in cooking a feast for her precious babies? If Wendy was here, she would be gobbling up all the food that Irene places in front of her, for sure. Maybe her dishes aren't considered fancy or too different from each other but Wendy always enjoys it to the fullest, sometimes exaggerating how delicious it could be. Irene isn’t normally an attention-seeker, but she misses having Wendy’s utmost attention all to herself. It always feels so good when Wendy assures her that no one else will ever get the same treatment as Irene does.

“She’s doing it again,” Yeri remarks, eyes not looking up at Irene.

Joy looks up from her bowl of rice to take some side-dishes, “having dirty fantasies about Seungwan-unnie? I know.”

“SHUT UP! WHO SAID SO?”

The two young ones make eye contact, a -eating grin appearing on both their faces when Irene bursts out more loudly than they intended for her to. It doesn’t even take three seconds for them to begin giggling to themselves, even Seulgi is starting to smile at this. The fact that Seulgi can bring herself to smile right now is hinting at something going on without her knowledge. Irene doesn’t know if she should worry or rejoice at the three members being able to laugh at something. This feels slightly ominous, for some reason.

When Joy takes out her phone… Irene screams.

This is not happening.

Please, this is not real.

“Heard that, Unnie? Irene-unnie is fantasizing about you!”

Wendy’s eyes widen comically at the revelation, cheeks dusted with a mixture of light and dark pink when she fully registers the information given. She did not see that coming when the young ones told her that they’ll be pranking Irene at brunch.

“U-Uh…”

“YOU ARE SO DEAD, PARK SOOYOUNG!”

What follows after that terrifying warning is screaming and more screaming, not one that says they’re fearful, but one of victory and absolute bliss. Wendy doesn’t stop blushing though; she can’t imagine Irene fantasizing about her in that manner. Their leader, always classy and on the ball, being weak to imaginations of her… doesn’t sound possible to Wendy. Furthermore, it’s been three years since they’ve seen each other. Irene wouldn’t keep pining for her when she can have any other woman she wants. Wendy doesn't even have anything left to offer to Irene anymore; her voice is a goner and won't ever regain the prowess it used to have. 

Only when there is absolute silence does Wendy start to worry about what’s happening back there. Irene does have a bit of violent tendencies that can hurt someone too; she has experienced it first-hand when she got caught saying something about liking Seulgi's body during a red carpet interview.

“Sooyoung-ah? Are you still alive there?”

“Yah, I’m not that mean,” Irene pouts, hearing that question. She didn’t even get to truly beat the three idiots because they locked themselves in the master bedroom before she could get the feather duster. “Don’t ever listen to them. They’re tainting my image!”

“Oh, Unnie… what im